Prologue

—

"It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality."

~"I Write Sins not Tragedies" By Panic! at the Disco

—

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"

These words seemed to play endlessly in the mind of Lily Evans as she raced away from the Great Lake. She couldn't understand! Why would Sev, her best friend, call her such a vile word? She rubs at her eyes, trying to fight the sadly inevitable tears.

"Evans!"

Oh great. Potter. Just what she needed.

"Go away Potter! I don't need this r-right now!" Bloody brilliant, her voice was shaking. He'll never let it go.

"Lily, please!" He cried.

She froze. Lily…he never called her that.

"Please Lily, I'm so sorry!" He called again, his voice helpless.

Okay, that was it.

She whirls around, her eyes on fire.

"Oh. I see. You're sorry. You know this is all your fault!" She practically yells, tears streaming down her face.

He's stunned to silence. He takes some cautious steps forward.

"Eva-Lily…please, just…listen to me, ok? I didn't mean to make Snape call you that, I-"

She didn't have time for this. Potter was just going to exaggerate the situation and make everything worse, as he tends to do. She turned on her heel and ran, and this time Potter didn't follow her. She ran as far away as she could, never stopping. At some point, she had to go back to the common room, as it was getting close to curfew. She ignored all the stares as she enters the portrait hole and she runs upstairs. She collapses on her bed, and after closing the curtains with trembling hands, continues to sob.

Hours pass, and Lily still hasn't left her room. Outside of the portrait hole, a furious Mary MacDonald is whisper yelling at Severus Snape to go away. But he wont, not until he speaks to Lily. So, with a furious huff, she storms inside and up the stairs to retrieve Lily.

Lily is not at all interested in responding to Mary's calls, until she hears that Severus is involved.

She about rips those curtains open in a millisecond. "WHAT?" She's furious, she could rip someone's throat out. Preferably Snape, or Potter. Both would be preferable.

Mary nods in agreement. "Better go handle him Lily, send him away for good."

She nods and storms out of the common room and into the corridor, where a sheepish looking Snape waits for her.

"Lily, I'm so so sorry…you have to forgive me!" he wrings his hands in front of him, eyes rimmed with redness.

"No Seve-Snape. I won't. And don't say you didn't mean to call me that, you spend time with all your wannabe Death Eater friends, so why should you be any different than them? Why should I be the only exception to the rule? You call other Muggleborns that name."

Snape stands there, speechless.

"Goodbye Severus." She storms into the common room and slams the portrait of the Fat Lady behind her, earning a grumble from the picture.

Snape stands immobile in front of the grumbling picture of the Fat Lady. What had he done? He could feel his heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, that would never be placed together again. Her words ring in his ears, tormenting him as he begins to walk away. He had done the unforgivable, and there was no coming back from that. Severus Snape had just let the love of his life slip through his fingers, and he would never be whole again. He went into the Slytherin common room and into his dorm, slipping into bed. How would he make it without her by his side?

The answer is he wouldn't. He couldn't without Lily Evans.