A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first Twilight fic, so it may seem a bit amateurish, but I hope you'll still enjoy it. I appreciate constructive criticism very much, so if you have any suggestions on how to improve my story, let me know!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned in it. Creative credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.
They had turned his body, his mind, and his heart.
I knew in that moment that his body was only a cold pawn of destruction.
And that his mind had ceased to convey his true intentions.
And that his heart had long since stopped giving him real life.
But I also knew that Edward's soul was stronger than all else – his will would never change.
P R E F A C E
It had never been like this before.
In the past, we had always been side by side, and wanted to find a way to make our love last forever. Maybe our ideas were different on how to achieve this, but our intentions were the same. We couldn't be without each other – that much fact was given, an undeniable truth.
In the beginning, Edward craved my blood. After time together, he craved my body. And it was obvious that he could not have both. But despite the danger, we pushed our relationship – what else could we do but love each other?
However, it was at this time when my safety had begun to deteriorate. It seemed we could not be together unless I became one of his kind. He detested the idea, though I supported it firmly – an impasse.
Increasingly, there were times when the line separating our love and my safety had been blurred. Times that convinced him to leave – those memories were some of the most regrettable in my life. There was a hole in my chest, and though it may sound like an exaggeration, it felt more painful than any physical harm I'd ever endured.
Only one person kept me sane, and I later learned that I could not have both Jacob's friendship and Edward's love. For my friend and my lover were mortal enemies – and losing either would burn a new wound into my heart, more excruciating than ever before.
Then occurred another difficulty - the return of a former nemesis. Luckily enough, she was a common enemy for both Jacob's and Edward's I wouldn't say it was lucky for her to appear in the first place, it turned out that the experience seemed crucial to strengthen the trust between the vampires and the werewolves. They say my enemy's enemy is my friend – I beg to differ.
But in the end, it came down to an age-old treaty the vampires and the werewolves had formed. Another danger approached, and they only way to avoid them was for me to change. But the Quileutes would never allow it. And for Edward to change me himself, he required a condition I was not at all comfortable with – marriage. But my distress was not fear of commitment; rather my parents' past experience with early betrothal. Being truly bonded with Edward in every way was something I would welcome eagerly.
Eventually, we had been wed. One of the most memorable days of my life. Only one thing tainted its perfection – Jacob, my closest, dearest friend, in every kind of pain... But still, things worsened. After an eventful honeymoon with Edward, I conceived Renesmee. At first, it seemed like she would kill me, but I somehow loved her so much – even before she was born. It tore me apart to see Edward in such trauma when I told him I could never give up Nessie. At least he came to his senses when he heard her thoughts.
When she was born, though, I had to be changed to save my life – and Edward did just that. I remember only excruciating pain from that time. Like scorching flames licking at every inch of my body. But when it ended, I finally attained what I had longed for most. I was part of a new family now – it could finally be justified for me to be at Edward's side. Even Jacob had found his way to love, with my daughter. It was strange at first, but I'd come to accept it wholeheartedly.
It was then that they returned, to ruin our happiness, but with the assistance of many new acquaintances I'd met, they left. And so then I had forever in front of me to live in pure ecstasy. After the long time of our struggle, I attained harmony. It was perfection at last.
So why then, did Edward stand in front of me now – in anger, in hate? I had never seen him look at me like that before – hard, opaque eyes, lips curled back in a snarl. He was still impossibly beautiful, but this time, I could not marvel, but only tremble in fear.
Had I been able to cry, I would have drowned in my own tears by now... had I been able to drown. Had my heart been beating and alive, it would have shattered. Had my body been able to react humanly, it would have collapsed. It was then that I realized what he had meant by being soulless as a vampire.
Edward, right now, cared nothing for me but my death. He was at the beck and call of the very monsters who intended to murder our entire family years before. But I must do everything I can to save my family, and especially simply needs my life, and then the others will be spared. So why then, should I not give it?
I love him to no limit, so my course of action must be clear. But now...
It seemed that forever did have an end.
1. Slowed
It's been seven years since that fateful day in the field. And now I have come to realize the torture that is repeating high school. The rain splattered monotonously outside.
I had finished college in Dartmouth – it was surprisingly easy as a vampire. My mind now seemed to have vast storage space and thinking processes much superior to my old self, and it seemed any past troubles I had with my studies were merely child's play. And so now, I was a certified businesswoman – albeit a businesswoman retaking her secondary education. Conveniently enough though, we had moved to rainy Portland.
Though I may have learned to ignore the urge of thirst by now, being only seven as a vampire, I was still bothered by the scents swarming around us. I never understood how a human's blood could be so appealing until I had changed. And as I looked down at my tray of conventional food, I remembered Edward comparing the prospect of a human eating dirt to one of a vampire eating human food. And now I knew exactly what he meant. Bottom line, even with my above-average self-control, I couldn't help longing for blood. And that was only half of the torture I was experiencing.
It was pure boredom, the blandness of it all had no end. The eight of us sat at the lunch table everyday, only two really eating. Yes, eight of us – one werewolf (or technically shapeshifter), on half-human, and six vampires. We were definitely pushing it to pass as a family.
I smiled in reminiscence as I spotted the new exchange student walking into the cafeteria – she was scheduled to arrive today, or so claimed our class bulletin. It appeared she was Asian, and I was secure enough of my femininity to say that she was beautiful. The boys of the school seemed to agree with me.
It was customary for my family to eavesdrop on everyone's conversations, on the off chance that someone might be spreading our secret. In that case, we would move immediately. Oh, so her name is Mikayla Hayashi.
"You can call me Kayla," I heard her say to one of the people she was introducing herself to, as if she were talking to me. Having just arrived from Japan, she was asking about the student body here. But she must be partly Caucasian, due to her first name and accent.
"Remind you of anyone?" I heard Edward murmur.
Ah, Edward, one person that made this torture bearable. Actually, not just bearable, but completely perfect. According to our legal documents, I am his adopted half-sister... I think.
The way we explain our family publicly has gotten very, very complicated now that there were eight of us, and not even my new, livid head can remember everything. Or maybe I'm not as smart as vampires go. But that subject aside, officially, I am Edward's... wife. After seven years, I still had trouble with that title – but another person made me remember that it was a blessing.
And that was Renesmee, publicly known as Vanessa, who is supposedly Edward's younger sister. But in truth, she is our daughter.
"Yeah," I told Edward fondly, "But I doubt she'd want to hang with the vamps like I did."
"You'd be surprised. She's one step ahead of you, don't you notice?" he said.
"How so?" I asked, bewildered. Edward just laughed condescendingly.
Oh, but it sounded like someone was about to tell about us misfits.
"And who are they?" asked Kayla, subtly glancing at us.
"Well," said someone, "They're the Cullens."
"And the Hales and the Masens and the Black," groaned another.
"Are they... a big group of friends?" Kayla guessed.
"Nope. They're a big bunch of freaks, but they're actually a legal family!" said someone in a hushed voice.
"Family? But there are eight of them," Kayla said in disbelief.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's like, really, really weird."
One of them quickly glanced at us to see if we were listening, and wrongly concluded that we weren't.
"So, they're like, the kids and foster kids of Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," someone I recognized Leslie said, taking charge of the story.
"But I thought they were doctors, Lisa," interjected another.
Right, her name's Lisa. I knew that.
"Yeah, whatever, Nathan. Anyway," Lisa said, facing Kayla, "I should start from the beginning. See, Dr. Cullen is a widower who has twins – see those two blond ones? The girl's Rosalie, and the guy with curly hair's Jasper. They're in their senior year."
Kayla took a quick look at us, and I glanced back. She seemed sincerely interested, but for reasons I couldn't fathom.
"Anyway," Lisa continued, "Before his wife died, Dr. Cullen adopted those two brownish-gold-haired ones – they're Edward and Vanessa Masen. Edward's in his third year and Vanessa's a sophomore, and obviously, they're brother and sister."
I chuckled silently at that one. Nessie had grown so much these past few years that she could definitely pass as a sixteen-year-old sister of Edward's. And on a side note, 'Renesmee' wasn't your everyday name, so we decided to change it on the legal documents.
"Moving on, Mrs. Cullen – she's also a doctor, though – is divorced with her old husband some guy with the last name, Hale, but she has custody over Bella, the long brown-haired girl, Alice, the spiky black-haired one, and Emmett, the, uh... big one."
I really had to laugh at that one. That was exactly my first impression of Emmett, huge, muscular and intimidating. But later I found out he was the big brother I never had.
"Oh, and Mrs. Cullen is Jacob Black's godmother. He's the dark-skinned one with cropped hair. When his parents – who were good friends of Mrs. Cullen – died, she took him in. And somehow, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen got to know each other and remarried. So there you have it, one big, freakish family," Lisa finished.
Billy Black, Jacob's father, had died of a stroke three years ago. It was also his heart conditions that put him in a wheelchair in the first place. Jacob, then, was a legal adult, and so he moved in with us. But probably just because he couldn't stand being away from Renesmee longer than was absolutely necessary. Still, his scent annoyed us to no end, and vice versa.
"Now that I hear it all again, we're really pushing this story too far, guys," I said to my family.
"I second that. Next time we move, let's just be separate families, but close friends," Nessie agreed.
"But if it's ever necessary, we only have two parents to attend school meetings and graduation," Edward pointed out.
"Why don't we just not attend high school anymore after this?" Rosalie suggested dryly.
"Hell yeah, if I get called 'the big one' one more time, I'm gonna flip," Emmett added.
I thought I heard a snicker in the direction of Kayla's table.
"You know one of the reasons we don't drink human blood is so that we can interact with them. Repeating high school may be a drag, but it's a small price to pay if it means we're not monsters," Jasper said sagely. It was impressive that he had overcome and mastered his problems with vegetarianism these past few years. He even became one of the more mature of us when it came to our way of life.
"You sound like Carlisle," said Jacob.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Jasper said.
But I wholeheartedly agreed with Rosalie and Emmett. It wasn't like any of us was going to get older, but this new 'family story' of ours just seemed ridiculous.
"So let me get this straight," I heard Kayla clarify, "Jasper and Rosalie, the blond ones, are Dr. Cullen's kids, and are seniors. Dr. Cullen also has adopted Edward and Vanessa Masen, the bronze-haired ones, who are siblings are a junior and a sophomore, respectively. Then Dr. Cullen married Mrs. Cullen, who is the mother of Bella Hale, the long-haired one, Alice Hale, the spiky-haired one, and is also Jacob Black's godmother, the former being the native-looking one."
She seemed to remember something funny, and smiled mischievously.
"And the big one's Emmett," she tagged on, snickering.
"Alright, I'm gonna flip now," the guy in question announced.
"No, you're not," Alice predicted calmly. "Especially not while Jasper's here."
At that moment I felt a wave of calm overcome me. My family was certainly talented above the ordinary.
But going back to the point, I had to admit, Kayla was quick. Even I didn't get it the first time it was explained to me – and that's post-vampire conversion. Even if Edward said I turned more graceful and intelligent after I had changed, after my newborn year, I somehow reverted to being klutzy again – on vampire average, at least. I didn't want to think I was slow for my kind, too.
"Yeah, but that's only the half of it," Lisa whispered, "They're all paired up, too, you know. Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, Edward and Bella, Jacob and Vanessa. They're all technically related, but not biologically, so I think it's legal for them to live together and be couples. But again, it's freakishly weird."
"Yeah... And they all seem... quite good-looking, don't they?" Kayla said.
"Totally. I mean, they're all drop-dead gorgeous; I admit even the girls are. But they all need to go see some sun. I don't think being that pale is healthy," said Lisa, "Except for Jacob. But, I- uh, don't really care, you know? It's not like I like any of them..."
"Lisa seems to have a thing for me. Or at least her thoughts do," teased Edward, resident mind-reader.
Though I put it past me to be jealous – since Edward was undoubtedly Greek god-level handsome, and it was normal that some other girl might be smitten by him – I was often thankful that my thoughts were still private.
"But the new girl... Kayla's thoughts are much more... unusual," he said quietly, and I felt like he was trying to hint something.
Okay, so maybe I wasn't too good for jealousy. What did he mean by 'unusual?' What the heck was that girl thinking about Edward?!
There was a playful smile on Edward's face – my reaction did not surprise him, but rather disappoint him, or so it seemed. Thankfully, I had lost the ability to blush years ago.
"Edward, if you're enjoying whatever she's thinking, then you better-" He cut me off.
"Bella, haven't you noticed it yet?" he asked me. A look of confusion formed on my face.
He sighed. "First of all, you should know that I belong to you alone, and second, by 'unusual thoughts,' I meant that she is different from the rest of them." He was definitely hinting something, even raising an eyebrow.
I looked around at my table, and it looked like everyone was in on it, staring intently at her.
"Do you think we should confront her?" asked Rosalie.
"Her thoughts don't involve danger to the humans, so I guess we should put this off until after classes. We shouldn't attract any attention," Edward said.
Not wanting to seem idiotic by asking them what was going on, I turned to Kayla's conversation.
"Well, Carlisle Cullen is a plastic surgeon, and Esme Cullen is a cosmetician, so don't you think they'd all look like supermodels?" Lisa rambled on. We'd added that last bit recently to explain our pallor and why Esme and Carlisle looked very young for their age. And by age, I mean both supposed and actual – Carlisle is a twenty-three year old three-hundred plus year old, as contradictory as that might sound.
"It's got to be them..." Kayla muttered so low, I had second thoughts on whether I really heard it.
Then it all clicked together. Kayla was also pale and beautiful, and her eyes, I noticed now, were pitch-black. She seemed to hear Emmett's comments on flipping, and what Edward was trying to hint was that she knew what we were. He also said that she herself was different. And by 'different,' he meant inhuman.
Darn, I was slow.
But I had to make sure. I took one deep breath in their direction, and one vampiric and several human scents filled my nose.
"She knows I'm a mind-reader," Edward said abruptly, and we all immediately understood. "She's trying to tell me something now, through her thoughts."
Edward spoke her cerebrations as he heard them. "Meet me after classes. I need to speak with Dr. Cullen and your entire family. Of course you know I'm one of you, but you should also know I don't hunt humans, like you. We'll talk more later – this is urgent. It concerns the Volturi."
I froze. What could this girl possibly want with us? How did she know that we didn't drink human blood? And most dreaded of all, what could did she know about the Volturi that could possibly involve us? So many questions popped up in my head, and I could see that my family was just as confused as I was. But I could also see that everyone was leaving for their classes, and that Kayla had already gone.
I quickly dumped my untouched lunch and walked with Edward to our next class. I knew the day would slow to a drag with my anxiety.
A/N: So that's the first chapter. Yeah, I know, not that great, and it's even a cliffhanger, but I'd really appreciate it if you left a review. Thanks!