~Hey, everybody! Onto my next story of choice: a one-shot that I've based off a song, which was written by Hitoshizuku-P, a Japanese song-writer. The song, the first in a triology, was sung by two of the voices/characters from the famous Japanese vocal-program, Vocaloid. The song in question is called "Soundless Voice", sung by Kagamine Len (Len Kagamine, for those who put their first name first). The next in the trilogy are "Proof of Life", sung by Kagamine Rin (Rin Kagamine for those who put first name first), and the last is "Endless Wedge", sung by Kagamine Len. I chose to use "Soundless Voice" because it was the first of the songs I heard, and to be honest, made me cry, as did "Proof of Life".
Basically, Brennan [in this song, this would be Rin], has become very sick, and knows that she is going to die. Booth [in the song, this would be Len] has set himself to taking care of her, deeply worried about her health, especially when she worsens and they learn that nothing can be done for her. In the end, she dies with Booth wishing he had been able to tell her that he loved her [among other things]. [This piece begins just after she has died, but, if you guys review and let me know what you think, I may go back and start from when they just learn she's gotten sick, and go from there until where she's died.]
I have changed a few things from the song and P.V. that I watched, so if you want to see the Kagamine's video, simply search up "Soundless Voice" Kagamine Len on Youtube, and take a look. The video I watched was by "motokokusanagi2009", so I thank them for putting up the video for me. Warning: You may cry. I sure did.
I apologize for this long author's note, but I hope you took the time to take a look through it to understand my basis for the story. Now that it's done, continue below to keep reading!
"Booth..." His name escaped her lips on a barely-there whisper, the single word she'd spoken sounding pained. Uselessly, she stretched one arm partially out in front of her in the direction of where he stood on the top of the hill a little ways from her, but before she could call for him in a hopefully louder tone, her breath whooshed out of her lungs as she crumpled to the snow-covered ground. Struggling to breathe, a single tear traced its way down her cheek as she realized that her time was finally up. Booth, who was looking out at the rest of the park, facing the opposite direction on the top of the hill, called out to her.
"Bones! You've gotta see this!" When he didn't get any answer from her, he paused. "Bones? What didja do, run back to the car?" Turning around, he looked around, unable to spot her anywhere in the park. "Bones?" He called again. Looking down, he froze when he saw her tiny, frail body lying unmoving in the snow, splayed out as if she'd only meant to make a snow angel. "Bones?!" Almost tripping over his own legs, he stumbled down the side of the hill, falling to his knees beside her. Brennan, who was by now just barely breathing, looked up at him with eyes that were rapidly dulling.
"Oh God, Bones." His voice cracked as he spoke, and he pulled her up out of the snow into his arms. "We have to get you to the hospital." She gave a barely discernible shake of her head.
"Too..." She let out a tiny cough, still struggling to suck air into her tortured lungs. "...Late..." Booth shook his head furiously, moving to stand up.
"You're gonna be fine. We've just gotta let the doctor get a good look at you. He'll fix you. He knows what to do." While Booth was babbling, Brennan struggled to simply lift her hand press it against his chest. Upon managing it, but failing to get his attention, she looked up towards the sky, where the snow that had been lightly falling before began to fall heavier. A second tear sliding down her cheek, her eyes fell closed as she let out her final breath. Booth, too busy with trying to reassure her that she'd be alright, didn't take any notice. "- I promised you you'd be fine, and you will be!" He finished, looking down at her as he stood, expecting some sort of reprimand. Realizing that she was now lifeless in his arms, he stiffened, falling back to his knees into the snow.
"Bones?" He whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. "Come on. You gotta wake up." Tears had begun to well in his eyes, and he was fighting hard to keep from crying. "Bones, please... I can't lose you..." Allowing the tears to fall, he pulled her body close to him, and, falling into silence, sat there for what could have been minutes or hours. Eventually, he once again opened his eyes, wincing as he felt the tear tracks that had frozen in the cold air on his face. Looking down as his partner, he gently touched her cold cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Bones." He whispered. "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to take you out here. If I hadn't you might still be alive." He took a deep, shaky breath. "You'd still be here with me. I don't know how you expect me to be able to live without you... I should've told you how I felt about you before this happened..." Upset, a flash of anger shot through him. "It should me lying dead right now, not you. You never should've been sick."
Images of his partner through the last few months of her illness flashed through his mind:
Brennan, smiling sweetly at Parker as she told him that she was sick, but not to worry about her.
Booth, going crazy when he found her trying to hide the fact that she had just coughed up blood.
Angela, demanding that Brennan go home and take time off of work immediately.
Brennan, holding the coffee mug that Parker had painted for her and given her as a gift, meaning to take a sip and instead having the mug slip from her fingers and crash on the floor due to weakening muscles.
Parker, trying to cheer her up after finding her crying in her bedroom a little after the incident.
Booth, finding Brennan on her bedroom floor, coughing and having earlier vomited at least twice, blood covering her hands and the area around her, looking up at him with sad, scared eyes.
Brennan, just earlier that day, practically begging him to take her out for a walk, saying that she was going crazy from being stuck inside all the time.
Shaking his head to clear out the last couple images, he shakily got to his feet, holding Brennan's body close in his arms, he headed back towards his SUV, and after using his cell phone let Angela and Hodgins know what had happened, called Cam, who immediately drove over to find him sitting outside, still holding Brennan in his arms.
"I'm so sorry, Booth," She whispered, leaning down to give him a hug. "You shouldn't have been alone when it happened." She squeezed his arm before pulling out her phone to make a call.
~BxB~
Later that evening, Booth sat in his apartment alone, the tears that had been falling for hours having finally run dry. He had one of Brennan's scarves in his hands, and while he was still full of grief, her scent, left on the scarf, calmed him, but only just.
Sighing, he curled himself down on the couch, refusing to return to his bedroom; the place where Brennan had been sleeping the past couple months after relenting to Booth's insistent pleas of that it would just be easier for him to help her that way. Despite the fact that his mind was running a mile a minute, he managed to drop off into a troubled sleep.
In his dream, all he did was re-live what he'd experienced earlier that day. Brennan was dying in his arms, over and over again, and every time, he was always unable to do a thing to save her. As he twitched about on the couch, the dream continued, refusing to end. In the end, it changed. He'd repeated the speech he'd said another time, and was about to have it start all over when his dream-self felt a warm presence of sorts around him. Lifting his head, he didn't see anything, but, surrounded by whatever it was, he felt loved.
It's not your fault that I died, Booth.
His head shot up again, and he looked at his partner's body in confusion, but found that she was still dead.
It was time. Don't feel bad about. I understand that you are upset, but you don't need to be. You've given me so much... A life that I never imagined I could have. I always thought that I'd just be alone, but then you turned up, and gave me things that were nothing I'd expected. I will always be grateful to you, Booth.
He quivered, now almost certain that he'd heard her voice, and desperately tried to figure out where it was coming from.
Despite that I am no longer alive, and I highly doubt that I'll be "living" anywhere else, know that although I never told you, I do love you, and I'll miss you. Just...don't smack yourself up about it. You'll be fine without me. Thank you for everything, Booth.
He let out a low chuckle at the mistake she'd made in that sentence, and gave a slow nod. "I know I will be eventually, Bones." He murmured. "I'm glad I could make you happy." With a sigh, he closed his eyes and stood, trudging back in the direction of the car.
~BxB~
Startled, Booth woke, jerking up into a seated position. Remnants of the end of his dream flooded his mind, and he let out a soft sigh, clutching the scarf he still held tighter in his fist. Despite his sadness, the words that Brennan had "spoken" in his dream began to make him wonder if she had truly thought that in life. The first smile that had crossed his lips since she'd died that morning appeared on his face, and with a quick glance at the picture of the pair of them laughing and goofing around that he had on his table, curled back down to go to sleep, believing that in some way, she was still with him, being her happy, old, healthy self, just not in the way she was before.
He knew that he'd always miss her; that was given. But he also knew that eventually, he'd get over the loss, and be able to move on with his life, always keeping her with him in his memories, and in his heart.
So, there it is! I'm not sure how much I like that ending. I just...don't like it, but I really don't know what else I could've written. Oh well.
Also, have any of you seen the Bones season 8 promo that they have out? My God, Brennan is blonde. I understand why she's currently got blonde hair, being on the run and all, but... Anyone else just a little freaked out? Blonde hair really doesn't work for her, I'm sorry, but no. Just no.
Anyways, I'd love to hear what you think, so please, leave a review!