A Dream of Winter
This New Soul
Harry/Draco slash
Set in Year Seven
AU - OOTP, HBP, DH
no money is being made from this story
no copyright infringement intended
AN: REVISED as of 3-25-09. This used to be split into a two-part story, but recently I decided it was short enough to post as a one-shot. I don't have a beta, and though nothing serious has changed, hopefully I cleaned up most of the grammar and spelling mistakes. Please forgive me if I missed any.
Enjoy!
It was a quiet winter evening. There was only one week left before winter break and Harry was on his way out the front door to get away from all the noise and excitement inside so he could think in peace and quiet.
The sun had long gone down, but the lights from the castle created just enough of a glow to guide his way as he made his way around the various walkways surrounding the school. Lights that looked like icicles had been strung along the stone structures around the grounds, adding an enchanted and delicate touch to everything in sight.
Harry eventually found himself sitting on a stone bench underneath a large archway. The snow was falling gently and the silence of the evening pressed around him from all sides as. The large snowflakes blended in with the rest of the snow as they hit the ground. It was a peaceful sight.
"Can I sit with you?"
Harry smiled as he looked over his shoulder. "Of course you can Draco." He moved over to give the boy some room.
"So what are you doing out here?" Draco asked as he sat down on the cold stone.
"Just came for a walk. Things were a bit too noisy inside for my liking. You?"
Draco grimaced slightly. "Pansy was getting all 'girlfriend' on me again. Avoiding her has become a way of life."
Harry laughed and it echoed slightly in their small sanctuary. "Oh, poor Draco," He slightly teased before getting serious again. "That girl can't take a hint, can she?"
"Oh, I gave her more than a hint. How much clearer can I be than 'I don't want to be your boyfriend'?" Draco grumbled.
"I guess she just can't stand the thought of giving up such a manly stud," Harry smiled mischievously. His cheekbones were slightly pink from the cold and the twinkling lights above made his clear crystal green eyes sparkle. Draco's breath got caught in his throat, and for about the millionth time, he silently thanked Hermione for pushing Harry to get contacts.
Draco's daze was broken when Harry lightly continued. "It's okay. She'll get over it eventually. Maybe I will have a little talk with her. I think she's just in denial right now because her whole future has been centered around you and now she doesn't know what to do."
Draco's eyes got big. "Her whole future? We dated for like, 4 weeks last year! I hardly think that's enough to base an entire future on."
"And those four weeks is all it took for her to get seriously attached. When you aren't around all she can talk about is you. She was like that before you guys even dated. It hasn't exactly been a secret that she's liked you for a few years now. That was the whole reason you even decided to give her a chance, remember?"
Draco sighed and rubbed his cheek. "Don't remind me."
"Before you two even went out I'm sure she had the whole thing figured out in her head. She probably imagined you two getting married, having kids, growing old together. In her eyes, you are the only one good enough for her," Harry said as he gazed out into the dark grounds.
Draco made a strangled sound. "Pansy and I getting married? Kids? I think I'm going to be sick."
Harry blinked a few times before turning to face Draco. "Do you not want a family?"
"What? No. Yes. What I mean is yes I want a family. Just not with Pansy."
Harry hummed and turned back to staring out into the darkness. It was quiet for a moment, and Harry had a fleeting wonderment on if it was possible to hear snow land.
"Do you?" Draco asked a little while later, breaking the silence.
"Do I what? Want a family?" Draco nodded yes.
Harry let out a small puff of air that Draco could barely see swirling in the cold air. "Well, ya, I guess I want a family. I never really thought about it before."
"How could you not think about it?"
Harry frowned. "To be honest with you I never thought I'd live long enough to even graduate, let alone get married. Weddings, families, those were always for other people." Harry's tone was light and contemplative, but Draco could sense the hint of sadness underneath it all. "But now that the war is over…" Harry trailed off. He gave Draco a sad kind of half smile. "Maybe. We'll just have to see how it goes."
Draco's eyes suddenly got big and the closeness of the moment shattered. "Oh heck no. I don't believe this."
"What?" Harry asked in concern.
"Don't turn around. Pansy is coming this way. I don't think she realizes that I can see her."
"Well she's obviously looking for you or she wouldn't be out here." Draco started bouncing his knee slightly in nervousness. "Do you want me to distract her while you get away?"
Draco shook his head. "No, that won't work."
Without really thinking about what he was doing Harry put his gloved hand on Draco's knee. "Calm down, it's not the end of the world. Who knows, maybe she just wants to talk about something. Other than the whole wanting to marry you thing."
Draco doubted it, but Harry's actions had given him an idea. "Harry, I have an idea but I need your help and please don't hate me for it."
Harry squinted slightly as he looked Draco in the eye. "Go on."
"Will you stand up and walk with me and let me hold your hand? It might make her think I'm involved with someone. It's dark enough out here that I don't think she recognizes you." The whole thing came out rushed and slightly panicked.
Harry stared blankly at Draco for a few seconds before he stood up, grabbed Draco's bare hand with his own gloved one, and pulled him up from the bench.
"You owe me," Harry said shortly as they slowly started to walk away from Pansy. Draco tilted his head a bit to try and see if Pansy was following them.
"Don't look!" Harry exclaimed quietly. "She'll know that you know she's there and then she'll come over here for sure!"
"But what if she's following us? I'm pretty sure you don't want to get on her bad side - which you will be when she finds out just whose hand it is I'm holding."
"Here," Harry said as he stopped walking and squeezed Draco's hand. He pulled Draco in front of him and grabbed his other hand. "Look at me and pretend that you are telling me something really important. You can use your peripheral vision to see if she's still there."
"Ya, she's there alright. That bright pink scarf is kind of hard to miss," Draco said, still looking at Harry and slightly shaking his head. Silence descended with the snow.
"So now what?" Harry asked after a moment, sniffing slightly from the cold air that made his nose run.
"I'd say let's go back inside but then we'd have to walk past her. She's just kind of standing there, like she's trying to be sneaky about following us or something."
"Hmm…" Harry thought a moment and looked around without moving his head. "That proves to be a problem. If we keep going she'll be able to follow our footprints easy, and then we'll really be stuck out here. But we can't stand here forever either."
"She just sat down on our bench," Draco half-growled.
Harry smirked. "Oh, it's our bench now is it?"
"Yes, it is," Draco replied, trying not to smile. "And I can't believe she had the gall to sit on what is rightfully ours."
Harry dipped his head slightly and let out a soft laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly. Pansy glared.
"I wonder," Draco muttered, noticing her reaction upon Draco making Harry laugh. "I'm going to try something, but I need you to trust me, okay?"
"Okay," came the immediate response.
Harry felt his pulse speed up against his will as Draco reached a hand up and put in on the base of his neck, his other hand coming to rest on his waist. Draco started to bend his head down to the slightly shorter Harry, almost as if he were going to kiss him, but stopped moving when their noses were almost touching.
Harry's eyes got wide, but he didn't pull away. "What are you doing?" he whispered.
"From this angle Pansy probably thinks I'm kissing you," Draco whispered back.
Harry felt his face grow hot. "Oh."
"And just as I thought, it's making her mad. She looks like she's trying to decide if she should leave or not."
"Are you sure it's a good idea to upset her?"
"No, but I'm trying to make a point. Nothing else has gotten to her."
Harry hesitated slightly before he reached up and put his arms around Draco's neck, pulling them closer together, his gloves causing some slight static with Draco's hair.
"Did that help?" Harry asked. His breath felt warm on Draco's cheek and it made the blonde shudder slightly.
Draco glanced up and smiled. "Like magic. She's storming off back inside."
They stayed that way a little longer to make sure Pansy was really gone before they let go and took a step back from each other. Harry immediately felt as though something was missing. He brushed it off, just thinking his body was missing the great portable heater Draco made out in the cold.
Draco cleared his throat and Harry clasped his hands behind his back, staring at the ground.
"Thanks," Draco said.
Harry looked up and gave Draco a small smile. "Anytime."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Harry sighed as he made his way out with the rest of the class after History of Magic. He wasn't sure why, but Professor Binn's droning monotone voice always gave him a headache. It didn't help that he had been feeling slightly sick all morning. Thankful that it was his last class for the day, he started to make his way to the dorms intent on having a nap. His head was absolutely killing him.
"Harry!" he heard someone shout and almost immediately felt his headache get worse. He knew that voice. Turning around he came face to face with Pansy.
"Hi Pansy," Harry said politely before turning back around.
"Harry, wait! Is it okay if I talk to you about something? It's about Draco."
Harry stopped and his shoulders sagged slightly as he sighed. She knew she had him; there was no way he could walk away from something that involved his best friend. She moved up to face Harry.
"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to ignore the fact that he didn't feel well.
"Well, it's just, I was wondering if Draco's said anything to you about being involved with someone new," she stammered out, playing with a ring on one of her fingers. "I saw him kissing someone the other night and when he got back into the dorms I asked him about it but he denies the whole thing!"
Harry stared at her, slightly stuck on what to say. "Maybe he really didn't kiss this other person. Did you see who he was with? Did you actually see them kiss?"
Pansy shook her head. "No, to both," she said dejectedly. "The other person's head was in the way, I don't know who it was, but he leaned in close enough to them that they might as well have kissed!"
Pansy was getting frustrated now and was starting to attract attention from some fellow students. Harry was starting to feel bad about the charade. "Tell you what, I'll have a talk with Draco about it and see if he says anything to me, okay? But you need to stay calm about this, it will do no good to jump to conclusions."
They continued walking down the hall. "But what if he really is with somebody Harry? I don't think I could handle being tossed out like that!"
Harry stopped and gently guided Pansy in an empty classroom, closing the door behind him before he faced the distraught girl.
"Pansy, I don't want to sound mean, but you've already 'been tossed'." He ignored the shocked look on Pansy's face. "You and Draco haven't been going out for over half a year now, it's time to let him go." He tried to keep his tone gentle so as to not upset the girl further.
Pansy's eyes started to fill with tears. "I know that. But I know he still likes me, I just know it. He has too! I don't understand why he keeps pushing me away!" Tears now started to fall down her cheeks and Harry dug around in his bag for the handkerchief that used to be his mother's. Remus had given it to him for his last birthday, and he now took it with him everywhere. He found it and held it out to Pansy who took it with slight surprise.
"Pansy, I've talked to Draco about this and he told me that he doesn't have the same feelings for you that he did before. All you two can be is friends, and I know he's told you so. You are only hurting yourself by chasing after him, and it's going to hurt worse and worse the longer you keep it up. It's not healthy Pansy."
Pansy was freely crying now. "But my parents think we would be a good match! Without him everything is going to fall apart!"
"Pansy, listen to me. Nothing is going to fall apart. Things have held this long without him, haven't they?" Pansy reluctantly nodded. "I promise, there are other guys out there just as good as Draco. But you'll never find them if all you think about is Draco and what could have been. You need to think about what you would like to see in a guy, not what your parents want. You're the one that's going to have to put up with him."
Pansy chuckled a bit through her tears and calmed down a bit, wiping her eyes with the cloth Harry had given her. She stared at the ground and sniffed slightly.
Harry put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Think about it Pansy. Do you like Draco himself, or just the idea of him?"
Pansy looked up sharply at Harry. He gave her a tight smile and stood up straight from where he had been leaning against a desk. "Things will get better." With those final words, Harry left Pansy to her thoughts and made his way towards the dorms once more.
All thoughts of having a nap fled far from his mind though when he stepped through the portrait and was met with a hysterical Ron.
"Oh thank Merlin you're here. I've been going crazy!"
Harry put a hand on his head and made his way up to the boy's rooms. "What are you talking about Ron?"
"Hermione said she would help me study for my potions test next hour, but I can't find her anywhere and so I was hoping you could go over some stuff with me," Ron gushed.
Harry bit his tongue to avoid saying something mean to Ron. After all, the red head didn't know Harry wasn't feeling well. Besides, he wasn't really asking much and Ron really needed to get his potion's grade up.
"Okay, what are we going over?" Harry asked as he heavily dropped his bag on his bed, his achy muscles thanking him for the action. He rubbed his shoulder and turned around. It was then that Ron got a good look at the not-feeling-so-hot Harry.
Ron frowned. "Are you feeling okay mate? You look kind of pale."
Harry gave Ron a small smile. "Ya, just a small headache. No big deal."
Ron gave Harry a skeptical look but nodded nonetheless. "The test is on chapter 6, and I get the actual process to everything, but I don't get the theory behind it, and that's the part he always…"
Harry listened as Ron went over some key points, correcting him when he had something wrong and invented little sayings and anagrams to help Ron remember things. When they were finally done Ron dashed out the door yelling 'thanks!' already halfway down the stairs.
Harry just let his head hit the desk, moaning slightly at the jolt of pain from the impact. He stayed that way for a while before his neck started to hurt in protest of the awkward position. Standing up he walked over to his bed and fell stomach side down onto his mattress, not even bothering to take his shoes off. In minutes he was asleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hey Ron, have you seen Harry?" Draco asked after dinner that night. While the two weren't the greatest of friends, they had at least grown to the point where they could have a civil conversation with each other. It pleased Harry to no end when he saw the two of them get along.
"Last I saw him was up in the dorms before my last class. I came straight down to dinner," Ron said as they walked up a staircase. "He wasn't looking to well and he didn't come to eat so I'm going to check on him. You can come too if you want I guess."
A while later they entered the dorms to find Harry asleep on his bed, his shoes still on and his arm bent at a weird angle. Ron frowned and gently shook Harry.
"Harry, mate, wake up."
Harry made a little groan of protest before opening his eyes a smudge. He blinked a few times to adjust his contacts. "Something wrong?"
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You said you had a headache earlier and then you missed dinner. And it's not like you to take naps."
"I'm fine." Harry turned his head a bit more and frowned when he saw Draco in the room as well. "Draco? What are you doing here?"
Draco tossed a hand in the air. "I needed to talk to you about something, but it can wait. Are you feeling okay?"
Harry sat up and blew a lock of hair out of his eyes. "I'm okay guys, just a little tired. It's been a long week," he offered in explanation. In truth he felt horrible. He stood up and forced himself to not move as the room spun a bit. Tripping from being lightheaded was the last thing he needed to convince Ron and Draco he was feeling fine.
Ron looked a bit skeptic but let it go. "Okay. If you need anything though, come find Hermione or me. I guess I'll leave you two to talk."
Harry nodded and smiled. "Thanks Ron."
Ron smiled in return, nodded to Draco, and then left the other two alone. Harry turned to Draco. "What's up?"
"I had Pansy come and talk to me before dinner tonight."
Harry sat back on the bed. "Oh. How did that go?"
Draco sat down next to Harry. "Better than expected. Last night when I got back to the dorms she confronted me about who I was with the other night." He gave Harry a secret smile, which Harry returned as he scooted back so he was leaning against the headboard. "I denied the whole thing of course. I was telling her the truth when I told her I didn't kiss anyone! She didn't believe me though and was mad all day yesterday and most of today."
Draco pulled his feet up on the bed so he could face Harry better. "Then right before dinner she came and apologized to me for jumping to conclusions. And then she went on this whole long babble about how she was sorry she didn't take how I felt into consideration and how she only liked the idea of me and she needed to focus on real feelings, or something like that. But long complicated story short, we're cool now. No more ex-girlfriend problems."
Harry gave him a tired smile. "I'm glad you got things worked out."
Draco just nodded as he stared blankly into space, becoming wrapped up in his thoughts. Harry let out a small yawn before fully leaning his head back and closing his eyes. When Draco didn't say anything for a long time Harry peeked one eye open to find Draco staring at him.
"What?"
"Harry, no offense, but Ron's right, you're not looking all that great. I think you should go see Madame Pomfrey."
Harry scowled a bit. "I'm just tired, I don't need to go see Poppy." He closed his eyes again to shut out Draco's disapproving look. However, his eyes snapped open once more upon feeling Draco's hand on his forehead.
"You feel a bit warm Harry," Draco said concerned. Harry pushed his hand away. "That's it, come on, get up." He stood up and held a hand out to Harry.
"I'm not going to go see that woman!" Harry exclaimed, folding his arms in defiance. "She makes me drink all kinds of awful things."
"Yes, she does, and they make you better," Draco grabbed Harry's wrist and gently tugged. "Up, now," he said
Harry sighed and stood up. He didn't want to admit it, but he had thought about going and seeing Poppy earlier that evening, but had pushed the thought away in favor of sleeping off whatever bug it was he had.
Draco held on to his wrist and led the way down the stairs. They found Ron and Hermione cuddling on the couch.
"I'm taking Harry to the hospital wing. He has a fever."
"Draco, it's not that big of a deal," Harry protested and wrenched his wrist out of Draco's grip. "It's not like I haven't had a fever before. All I need is a good nights sleep and I'll be fine."
Draco turned to Hermione and Ron, concern broadcasting from his eyes.
"Will you please tell this stubborn prat he needs to see Poppy?"
"Come here Harry," Hermione gently commanded. Harry leaned down and Hermione put the back of her hand on his forehead. She frowned. "Harry, I think Draco's right. At least go get a fever-reducer from her."
Harry lost all desire to fight as another wave of tiredness hit him. He closed his eyes and let his shoulders sag a bit. "Fine."
"Thank you," Draco said as he promptly grabbed Harry's wrist once more and started leading him to the portrait hole.
Hermione and Ron watched them go before settling back into the comfortable couch, Ron's arms securely pulling Hermione back towards his chest.
Ron opened his mouth a few times as though he wanted to say something before he finally gave up and decided to not say anything at all. Hermione noticed.
"What is it Ron?"
Ron shook his head. "It's nothing."
Hermione looked up at her boyfriend. "Are you sure?"
Ron made a frustrated growl in the back of his throat. "As much as it pains me to say it, I think Draco is good for Harry."
Hermione slightly tilted her head. "Oh really?"
Ron shrugged. "Ya. In fact, I think it would be good for both of them if they got together."
Hermione's mouth widened into a large smile and she turned around. "You really think so?"
Ron pursed his lips and seemed lost in deep thought for a moment. "…ya."
Hermione hugged him around the neck. "I'm proud of you Ron!" she exclaimed softly. "I know accepting Draco hasn't been easy for you."
Ron sighed as Hermione let go of his neck and settled comfortably into his arms again. "It hasn't been. But I've watched the way he treats Harry, and I can't deny that Draco makes him happy, even when he's nagging at him to go see Poppy."
Hermione smiled. "Now we just need to get them together."
Ron lightly kissed the top of her head. "How about we leave that for another night."
Hermione laughed and they fell back into a comfortable silence.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Up in the hospital wing Harry choked down a few horrible tasting potions, pulling a different face of disgust between each one.
Poppy nodded in satisfaction as Harry finally downed the last one. She took the cup from him. "I want you to stay here for a little while to make sure the potions are working effectively and then you can go on back to your dorm," she said before disappearing into a back room to put everything away.
Harry fell back against the pillow and rubbed his eyes. "At least she's not holding me prisoner over night," he muttered.
Draco laughed. "Oh come now Harry, it's not that bad."
Harry glared. "I'd like to see you say that after you've been here as much as I have."
Draco smiled softly at the sick man. "Okay, okay, you win."
"Straight up," Harry said. His voice changed tone. "Thanks for bringing me here by the way. You don't have to stay if you have other things you need to do."
Draco smiled. "I don't mind. Besides, if I don't stick around who's going to make sure you make it back to bed in one piece?" he joked.
Harry smiled back with his eyes half way closed, making Draco think that he looked far to tired to even be thinking about returning to the dorm tonight. He brushed a small lock of hair out of Harry's eyes. "You need to get your hair cut," he commented idly.
"I don't want to cut it," Harry replied softly. "It behaves better when it's longer."
Draco continued to play with Harry's hair as the other man became increasingly lethargic. "That feels nice," Harry suddenly said, surprising Draco who thought he had fallen asleep.
Madame Pomfrey came back into the room, pausing slightly at the sight before her before regaining her composure. Draco's hand immediately dropped upon seeing Poppy nearby.
Poppy ran a few quick tests on Harry to make sure everything was working all right before deciding that he was well enough to return to his dorm. Harry forced himself awake to bend down to put his shoes back on. Poppy always made him take off to lie on the beds. While he was busy, Poppy took Draco aside to talk to him for a moment.
"Can you make sure Harry gets back to his bed before he falls asleep in the hall?" Poppy asked Draco with a small smile.
Draco nodded. "I'll take care of him."
"Good. I wouldn't expect any less from you." She glanced over to where Harry was finishing tying his second shoe. "Just be careful," Poppy suddenly said. "He's had a rough life, and though he seems happy and upbeat for the most part, there's a lot of sadness underneath. I don't think he could handle another heartbreak."
Draco blushed slightly as he caught the meaning underneath her words. "We're just friends," he said softly. "I would never hurt him."
Poppy nodded. "I know you wouldn't, but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. Just be careful." She smiled softly and walked back over to Harry who was now ready to go. "Okay Harry, I've given Draco here explicit instructions to make sure you make it to your bed. Everything I gave you should do the trick, but if you still feel sick in the morning come and see me before classes and I'll give you another dose."
Harry pulled a face. "Hopefully I will be perfectly fine in the morning then."
Poppy chuckled. "I hope so too. I don't want to see you in here any more this year, understood?"
Harry stood perfectly straight and saluted her. "Yes, ma'm."
Poppy saluted back before smiling and gently pushing him towards the door. "Get to bed soldier."
"Thanks Poppy," Harry said.
"What was that all about?" Draco asked once they were out of hearing range of the hospital wing.
Harry shrugged. "We've bonded over the years, and it seems like I'm always following her orders so it's turned into a kind of joke to salute her on occasion."
Draco let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Great."
They eventually reached the fat lady's portrait.
"I can make it from here," Harry said. "I'm sure Ron and Hermione are still up waiting for me. Thanks for walking with me clear up here."
Draco shook his head. "No problem. I'm just glad to see that you're feeling a bit better. See you tomorrow Harry."
"See ya."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next day Harry felt a lot better. It was the last day of classes and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Ron found him after lunch and pulled him down an empty hallway.
"Harry, I need your opinion." He dug around in his bag for a moment before pulling out a small black velvet box. He opened it to reveal a small diamond ring. "I want to ask Hermione to marry me over the break. Do you think it's too soon?"
Ron looked up to find Harry grinning from ear to ear. "I think its prefect," he said. "Hermione will be thrilled."
Ron closed the box and let out a small relieved sigh.
"Are you going to do it in front of your family?" Harry asked.
Ron paled slightly. "No, no no. Bad idea." Harry chuckled and Ron continued. "No, you know that small alcove of trees right by the house? The one that has all the flowers in it? Well, I want to do it there. I charmed the flowers so they would stay bloomed all winter, and I'm going to put fairy lights in there too."
"She is going to love it Ron."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next day found students boarding the train bright and early. Hermione gave Harry a big hug. "Are you sure you don't want to come with?" she asked in a concerned voice.
Harry laughed. "We've been through this a million times 'Mione. I want to spend my last Christmas at Hogwarts."
Hermione frowned and lightly hit him on the shoulder. "Don't say it like that, it sounds like your dying."
"Sorry," Harry shrugged. He could hear Draco laughing slightly beside him.
"It's not funny," Hermione said, rounding on Draco who immediately stopped laughing, but kept a smile on his face.
"See ya Harry," Ron said as he stepped up and gave Harry a small but tight hug. Harry returned it and gave Ron a small wink as they pulled apart.
"Everything will be fine," Harry said quietly so Hermione wouldn't hear and start asking questions. Ron had been nervous all night and didn't get any decent sleep. "And I'm only an owl away if you need anything."
"Thanks Harry," Ron said.
The conductor yelled for all the students to get on board. Last farewells were said and Harry and Draco, along with a few other students, waved to the train as it made its way down the tracks and out of sight.
"Okay, spit it out. What are you smiling about?" Draco asked as they trekked back up to the castle.
"Don't tell anyone just yet, but Ron's going to ask Hermione to marry him," Harry said excitedly. "He told me yesterday and he's been a nervous wreck ever since."
Draco laughed. "I don't know why, there's no way she would turn him down."
"That's what I told him, but I'm sure he still has his doubts."
"Ya," Draco said before falling silent. The snow crunched underneath their feet. "Hey Harry?"
"Yes, Draco?"
"Do you like anyone?"
Draco couldn't tell if Harry blushed or not because his porcelain cheeks were already tinted pink from the cold.
"Why do you ask?"
Draco shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant about the whole thing. In reality his stomach felt like it was going to crawl out of throat in anticipation to Harry's answer. "Oh, I was just wondering."
Harry slightly bit his bottom lip. "I'm not sure."
Draco felt his heart skip a beat. "Not sure?"
"There's a possibility of someone, but I'm not entirely sure what it is I feel when I'm around them. So I'm not sure."
"Who is it?" Draco asked, his heart trying to beat straight out of his chest.
Harry shook his head. "I need to think about it more. It could be nothing, and I don't want to create a huge mess. Maybe I'll tell you later."
Draco couldn't stop the cold feeling that was starting to seep into him. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here," he said, trying to keep his voice smooth and calm.
Harry flashed him a smile. "I know Draco. Thank you."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Later that evening Harry cursed as he felt the now familiar signs of a headache coming on return. He put his book down on the table, laid down on the couch in the empty common room and closed his eyes. Maybe if he didn't think about anything for a while it would go away.
The fire was warm and Harry had almost fallen asleep when he heard yelling right outside the portrait. Wanting the commotion to stop, he got up intent on stopping whatever argument was in works. He opened the portrait to find a very flushed Draco glaring up at the fat lady.
"Don't you dare let him in!" the Fat Lady yelled. "He doesn't know the password!" Harry rolled his eyes and motioned Draco inside.
"He's been in here millions of times before, why are you throwing a fit now?"
The Fat Lady sniffed. "I don't believe that's any of your business."
Harry ran a hand through his hair and closed the portrait before turning to still fuming Draco.
"That evil, vile, piece of no good-"
"Draco, it's okay, calm down," Harry said as he sat back down on the couch. "She probably just wants attention because everyone is gone and so now she feels lonely."
"Well she could have at least been nicer about it," Draco muttered as he sat down next to Harry. "Calling me all kinds of names, honestly." Harry gave him a weak smile. "Sorry if I'm bothering you," Draco continued. "It was getting boring in the dungeons and it's warmer up here so I thought I'd come visit you."
Harry slowly shook his head and let out a small yawn, his body still feeling the effects from his almost nap. "You're okay. I was just going to take a nap was all."
"Well don't let me stop you," Draco said as he scooted further away from Harry to give him enough room to lie down properly. "Here, you can even use my lap for a pillow."
Harry gave Draco an endearing smile and did as instructed, closing his eyes as Draco's hands started to comb their way through his hair. "You know, you might want to be careful how often you do this. You're spoiling me," Harry mumbled.
Draco chuckled softly. "You? Spoiled? I don't think so."
Harry only hummed softly in reply. It wasn't long before Harry was deep in sleep. Draco watched the fire for about an hour before he started to feel drowsy as well. He didn't bother to try and fight his lethargy and followed Harry into dream land soon after.
Harry woke in the middle of the night confused as to where he was, but quickly realized he was still on the couch in the common room when he saw the fire dancing merrily in the hearth. He felt something tickle his neck and turned slightly to find Draco lying directly behind him, arms around Harry's waist. Draco was sound asleep, mouth slightly open and his head was at a weird angle that Harry didn't think looked very comfortable.
Harry wondered what to do. Should he wake Draco up? Get up and get in his own bed and leave Draco on the couch? Go back to sleep and pretend he never woke up at all? He didn't remember falling asleep like this.
Thinking a moment about it, he finally decided to simply go back to sleep. Draco's arms around him made him feel safe and warm, and he thought he might never get the chance again to feel like this.
He gently tried to move Draco's head from the weird angle it was in. Draco mumbled a bit in his sleep and moved his head on his own, bending it down so it was directly in Harry's neck. His arms tightened slightly around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. Harry couldn't help but smile. He placed his hands on top of Draco's and before he knew it, was fast asleep again.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Harry," Draco said softly the next morning. "Are you awake?" The soft dim that came before sunrise slowly filled the room through the high tower windows. Harry shifted a little bit, but didn't wake up.
Draco sighed and laced his fingers through Harry's whose hand was still covering his own. He knew he'd never get the chance to do it again. He loved Harry. He had had feelings for the Gryffindor for a few years now, but didn't realize it until he had gone out with Pansy. The entire time he had been with her he imagined he was holding Harry's hand instead of hers. It was a harsh realization, but one he was glad he had made.
But realizing things and things actually happening were two different stories. Draco was afraid that Harry would hate him if he told the man how he felt. So he kept silent, working up his nerve while he patiently waited for the right moment, if ever, that he would tell Harry.
Harry's hand jerked slightly in Draco's before his eyes fluttered slowly open. He let out a tiny yawn and Draco held his breath, wondering what Harry's reaction would be when he discovered the position they were in.
"Hey Draco," Harry said with a slightly impish grin, as he turned his head to look at the blonde. "Sorry, I didn't mean to really fall asleep on you like that."
Draco forced himself to calm down and kept his tone as light as he could manage. "You told me you were taking a nap, yet you didn't mean to fall asleep?"
A faint tinge of pink brushed across Harry's line creased cheeks. "Well, no. I mean, I feel bad that you got stuck here the whole night with me. You didn't have to stay the night on a stupid couch if you didn't want to, you know."
Draco couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at that, his stomach and chest vibrating against Harry's back. "Stuck here? Harry, I was by no means 'stuck'," Draco said as his laughter died down a bit. "And if you must know, this 'stupid couch' is more comfortable than it looks. Though the company might have had something to do with that."
Draco slightly amazed himself at the boldness of his statements. He blamed it on the feel good high he was on from getting to hold Harry all night. The fact that said man hadn't removed Draco's arms from his waist was having a funny affect on him as well.
In a nutshell – Draco felt like he was walking on air.
Harry glanced back at the blond. "Oh, so I'm just a big pillow now am I?" he teasingly asked.
Draco squeezed Harry tighter and buried his face in the smaller man's neck. "Mhmm, I could get used to having you as my own personal pillow."
Harry squirmed slightly. "Draco! Stop it! That tickles!"
Draco stopped moving but kept his face close to Harry's. They stayed like that for a while, secretly soaking in each other's presence.
"You know," Harry started suddenly, "this is our last Christmas at Hogwarts."
Draco frowned slightly, remembering Harry saying something along those lines to Hermione at the train station. "Does it bother you?"
Harry shifted a bit and looked hesitant to say anything more, but continued none the less. "Well, kind of. Ya. I mean, it's just kind of sad to think about I guess." He turned so he was laying more on his back rather than his side to get a better look at Draco. "I'm really going to miss it here. This is home. It's hard to imagine living anywhere else."
Draco smiled softly. "I understand. But things will work out in the end, you'll see."
Harry looked down towards his stomach where Draco's hand was still resting. "Ya," he whispered, an almost sad smile on his face. "Things will work out."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A week after the whole couch incident, Harry was greeted with the now familiar feeling of having nothing to do. He thought about going outside for a small walk, but quickly dispelled the idea with one look out the window. An angry wind had picked up outside causing white out conditions from the frenzied blizzard of snow. It was also very dark causing the light from the lone Christmas tree in the corner to seem brighter than it really was. He glanced at his watch and sighed. He had missed dinner.
Harry leaned against the edge of the window and his thoughts drifted towards Draco for what felt like the thousandth time that day. He couldn't seem to get the charming man out of his head. The way his arms fit around Harry's waist. The way he always made Harry smile. The feeling of almost domestic bliss Harry had felt upon waking up by him.
Harry suddenly felt very lonely.
Turning from the window, he turned on the small radio by the couch. A faint stream of old Jazz music warmly filled the room in slow tantalizing chords and soft brushes of voice. Harry smiled softly at the sound before he sat down on the floor in front of the dancing fire, only to loose himself in his thoughts once more.
Harry had realized the moment Draco had started going out with Pansy that he felt something for the other man that had never been there before. He couldn't figure out what it was, and quite honestly didn't even want to think about it too deeply in fear of what it was. So Harry pushed his feelings away.
Then Draco had to go and almost kiss him. Harry sighed and leaned back against the small coffee table. Okay, so Draco hadn't done any kind of almost kissing at all. He was just pretending for Pansy. But to Harry it felt like Draco was going to kiss him; they were so close!
Harry found himself wishing the kiss had happened.
Harry was pulled out of his thoughts by a small knock. With a soft smile he gracefully stood up and opened the portrait to find a carefree Draco standing in the hallway. The blonde had a small tray in one hand that had two mugs balanced on top.
"Hot chocolate?" Draco asked with a bright smile.
How could Harry resist? "Come on in," he said moving out of the way. Draco came fully into the common room, placing the tray on the coffee table that Harry had been leaning against only moments before.
"What's up with the music?" Draco asked as he handed Harry a hot mug.
Harry accepted the drink with a small thank you before he shrugged. "It was a little too quite in here for my liking. Plus, I just like it."
Draco smiled. "It suits you."
Harry let out a small chuckle. "Whatever."
"You didn't come down today. Are you okay?" Draco asked in concern as he sat down on the couch.
Harry sat down by him and took a small sip of his drink. "Ya, I just didn't feel like doing much today. I've had a lot on my mind."
"Anything you want to talk about?"
Harry bit his bottom lip in thought for a few seconds before he shook his head. "No, I think this is something I have to work out for myself. Thank you though."
Draco just smiled. They sat comfortably, neither one talking as they finished their hot chocolate. They gazed at the fire and allowed the music to fill in the silence around them.
Harry finished his drink first and set his mug down on the table. "That was good. Thanks."
"It was no problem," Draco replied setting his mug down as well. He suddenly stood up and held his hand out to Harry. "Wanna dance?"
Harry looked at him like he was crazy. "What, right now? Right here?"
Draco shot Harry an enchanting smile and Harry felt something tighten in his chest. "Yes silly. Right now. Please?"
Harry took Draco's hand and allowed himself to be pulled up off the couch. Draco placed his hand on Harry's waist and joined his free hand with Harry's smaller one. Then they slowly started to sway back and forth to the music.
The feeling that Harry had been looking for suddenly hit him full force. This is where he belonged. This is where he felt like everything was right in the world. He opened his mouth to tell Draco exactly that before his brain caught up with his heart and he promptly shut his mouth.
Draco noticed Harry's indecision to say something and gave the Gryffindor a quirky little smile. "What?"
Harry just shook his head and stared off at the elegant Christmas tree in the corner. "Nothing."
"No, really. What were you going to say?"
"Nothing," came the stubborn reply.
Draco simply shook his head with a quiet smile and they continued their tender swaying.
The smooth music continued to drift through the room, the slow romantic strains from the song the two had been dancing to slowly dying down to nothing. A sudden upbeat swing song overtook the previous song and Draco got a mischievous glint in his eyes.
Before Harry knew it, Draco was spinning him around in confident and lively movements. Harry couldn't help it – he let out a laugh at the sudden change in mood and let Draco lead him through the wild twirls, spins and even the occasional dip.
Harry realized something that night as he danced through the common room with the bright spirit that was named Draco.
This was the man he was in love with, and he never wanted to let him go.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Draco!" Harry half-shouted as he sped down the hall to catch up with the blond. "Guess what?"
Draco couldn't help but smile at the sight Harry made, his cheeks flushed from running and his scarf lopsided on his shoulder. Harry rushed on before he could say anything.
"Ron did it! He proposed! Hermione said yes!!" Harry exclaimed as he waved a piece of parchment through the air. "Isn't it so great? I'm so happy for them!" Harry took a deep breath and let it out in one big rush. "Wow." He was grinning ear from ear.
Draco tried to hold it in. He really did. But he couldn't help it! He started laughing his head off.
Harry stared blankly at Draco and Ron's letter went limp at his side. "What's so funny?"
That just made Draco laugh harder. He leaned one hand against the wall and wiped his left eye that had started watering slightly. "Oh, Harry," Draco started before chuckling a few more times. "Oh… If you are this excited about Ron and Hermione getting engaged I can't even imagine how…how…haha…how excited you are going to be when YOU get engaged!"
Harry turned red so fast it probably set a world record. "Uh, thanks?" he mumbled.
Draco eventually calmed down, though he still had a huge smile on his face and let out the occasional chuckle. He put a comforting arm around Harry's shoulders as they walked to lunch together. "Harry, never change."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Later that night at dinner Harry received an owl from Hermione telling him all about Ron proposing. He smiled the entire way through the letter. Hermione sounded so happy!
A sudden thought hit him that made his smile fade a bit. Would he ever find that same happiness?
He knew what he wanted now, but he didn't know if that made the ache in his heart worse or better. Yes, he loved Draco, wanted to be with him, hold him. He felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. But would it ever happen? Was it worth discovering his feelings if he would never be able to act upon them?
Harry jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to find Draco just arriving, sitting down beside him.
"You alright? You looked kind of distant there for a minute."
Harry couldn't do anything but stare. He had never felt so close to Draco and yet so far away at the same time. Realizing that Draco was waiting for an answer he nodded his head as he placed Hermione's letter down on the table. "Ya, I'm fine. Just thinking. I got a letter from Hermione."
Draco scooped up a large spoonful of mashed potatoes and pounded them soundly onto his plate. "Really? Anything exciting?" he teased.
Harry smiled. "Oh, just a little bit of this and that. It's snowing down there, Fred tried to set the house on fire, Mrs. Weasley and Percy got in a fight. Oh, and she got engaged."
"That sounds fascinating. I'll have to ask Fred all about it someday," Draco commented lightly. Harry slightly shoved his shoulder.
"You are such a brat."
"Hmm…but you like it."
"How do you know?"
"Because you wouldn't still be here if you didn't."
Harry didn't know what to say to that and instead simply stuck out his tongue when he thought the blond wasn't looking. Draco ducked his head to hide his smile.
"Hey Draco?" Harry piped up suddenly a while later.
"Ya?" Draco replied before taking a drink.
"If you were in love with someone, what would you do to tell them you loved them?"
Draco choked on his drink and spat half of it out all over his plate, the rest of it dribbling down his chin and all over his shirt. Harry's eyes got wide as Draco started to gasp funny for air. He started pounding Draco's back, even though he knew it wouldn't do anything to help.
"Oh my gosh, Draco, are you okay?"
Draco couldn't breath. He did an excellent imitation of a gold fish for a few seconds as he gulped for air before violently coughing a few times, all the while trying to nod his head to reassure Harry that he was fine. His knuckles turned white from tightly holding the edge of the table in an attempt to keep himself balanced.
"Wow," Draco finally spluttered, still coughing every now and then. "That went down the wrong pipe."
"No kidding Sherlock," Harry said, concern heavy in his voice. "Are you okay?"
"Ya, yes, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Harry, really, I'm fine."
Green eyes looked doubtful, but nonetheless Harry nodded and turned back to his dinner, apparently forgetting all about his question. Draco spent the rest of dinner a nervous wreck though, silently torturing himself by wondering what was going through Harry's head. Why would he ask such a question? Did Harry like someone and wanted to know the best way to ask them out? He sounded so…serious about it.
Draco could only hope that Harry was idly curious. The alternatives left him feeling empty and confused, two things that the Prince of Slytherin thought he should never have to feel.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Draco sighed and draped the crook of his arm over his face. It was 1:23 in the morning and he still couldn't get to sleep. Harry's simple question at dinner had completely screwed with his mind. He couldn't help but wonder now, if he ever did get brave enough to tell Harry how he felt, how would he do it?
It would have to be something special, he thought. Harry deserved nothing less than the best. Draco also knew he would have to be honest and open about his feelings – straight from the heart. He knew Harry would appreciate that more than fancy lines and frivolous talk.
Rolling over on his stomach, Draco groaned and pulled his pillow firmly over his head. He had half the mind to march right up to Gryffindor tower and just spill his guts to Harry right then and there. Then maybe he could get some sleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Christmas Eve dawned crisp and cloudless the next morning. Draco felt wide-awake, despite the odd hours he had slept. He had made up his mind last night. He was going to tell Harry how he felt.
Today.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hey," Draco said as he sat down next to Harry at lunch. He had spent the entire morning giving himself a pep talk, telling himself that he couldn't chicken out, that it was now or never.
He still didn't feel completely convinced.
"Hi Draco," Harry replied. "What's up?"
Draco turned slightly. "Actually…uh, I need to tell you something," he said slowly. "But not here!" he exclaimed quickly. "Later, I mean."
Harry gave Draco an odd look before nodding his head. "Okay, okay. We'll talk later."
Halfway through lunch a very jittery Draco excused himself without explanation. Harry watched him leave with slight concern. Draco had acted quite strange all through lunch. Shaking his head Harry muttered about crazy blondes and went back to his food.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Harry James Potter! Where have you BEEN?" Draco yelled as Harry stepped into the Gryffindor common room. "I've been looking for you for the past hour now!"
"What?" Harry asked in bewilderment. "I didn't know you were looking for me. I just went to the library to get some books! How'd you get in here?"
Draco took a deep breath and pulled Harry through the doorway. "Never mind. Just hurry! Go get your cloak! We're going to miss it!"
"Miss what?" Harry half-shouted.
"Just go get your cloak!!"
Harry still had no idea what in the world Draco was talking about, but did as he was told. He stumbled back down the dormitory stairs and was almost immediately being shoved out the door.
Draco grabbed Harry's hand. "Come on, we need to get to the 3rd floor."
Harry laughed slightly at Draco's odd and sporadic behavior. "Draco! What is going on? Why are we going to the 3rd floor?"
"I want to show you something," was all Draco would say.
Harry just smiled and allowed himself to be led down through the maze of corridors.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A short while later Draco and Harry reached a small room that was empty, save a stained glass doorway on the far wall. It splayed deep hues of red, orange, and yellow into the room and instantly made Harry feel warm.
Draco stepped farther into the room, dropping Harry's hand, and stopped right before the double french doors. Harry was slightly amused to find that the stained glass made Draco's hair look bright orange. Draco suddenly seemed very calm, which threw Harry off gaurd having just been yelled at and pulled half-way through the castle.
"I think we made it in time," Draco said softly, turning to face Harry. "Go on. Open them."
Harry stepped up to the other man and slowly opened the fragile doors. With one last glance back at Draco, he stepped out onto a small round balcony.
A smile of surprise found it's way onto his face when Harry noticed the radiant sunset that touched down to melt half way between the mountains and the left half of the lake. Long streams of red and gold reached across the glittering snow and frozen water, while a purplish pink hue painted the clouds above.
"Wow, Draco. It's beautiful," Harry said to the blonde, never taking his eyes off the sight before him.
"Isn't it though?" Draco replied. "This is my favorite spot to watch the sun set. I wanted to share it with you."
"Thank you."
After about five minutes Harry shook himself from his mindless staring upon remembering something. "Hey, what was with you at lunch? You said you wanted to tell me something and then just bolted. What's up?"
Draco suddenly felt his nervousness he had been battling with all day return in full force. It slowly faded though when he turned and noticed the sight that Harry made, his vibrant green eyes in striking contrast to the sunset behind him. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he needed to do.
Harry was worth the risk of a broken heart.
"Yes, I did," Draco said slowly. "Remember the night when we were both sitting outside and Pansy came out and you helped me make her think I was with someone else?"
Harry chuckled slightly. "How could I not? I still can't believe we did that."
Draco allowed himself a small smile. "Do you also remember what we were talking about before Pansy interrupted us?"
Harry frowned slightly. He glanced down and then out towards the grounds before settling his eyes on Draco once more. "We talked about a lot of different things that night."
"Yes, we did. But there was one thing you said that's been bothering me for a while, something I was hoping you would let me help you with."
Harry's eyes glimmered with confusion, and a bit of apprehension started to creep in as well. "Draco…"
"Shh, let me finish," Draco said softly. "I remember you said that you had never really thought about starting a family, getting married. Well I have. Harry, I dream of a day when I can stand by someone who will love me for just being me. Someone to dance with, and burn dinner with, and hold at night. I dream of a day when I can have children of my own and someone by my side to help me raise them. I dream of having a home."
Draco paused and took a deep breath and stared Harry directly in the eyes. "Harry, I dream of you. I love you."
Harry's breath caught in his throat and his eyes got wide. Could this really be happening?
Draco suddenly continued on in a nervous rush, now looking slightly down and to the left. "And I realize that, well, there may be someone else in your life, someone that you love…and if there is just let me know and I'll shut up and leave you alone, but I still want to know. I need to know."
Icy blue eyes met sparkling emerald.
"Will you dream with me Harry?"
A slight breeze of cold air sent dark locks of hair into Harry's stunned face before sweeping them away once more. Slowly, surprise was replaced by a smile as bright as the sun itself.
"Draco, I already do."
It took a moment for Draco to comprehend what Harry said.
Suddenly Draco stepped forward and quickly scooped Harry up in his arms, spinning him around in absolute joy. Harry's surprised laughter danced in Draco's ears and he thought his heart would burst.
Setting Harry back down Draco grabbed Harry gently by his face before he leaned down and captured Harry's lips in a soft but promising kiss.
Behind them the last strands of light softly faded behind the horizon, but neither one noticed. After all, there would be many more sunsets for them to see and many more winter dreams for them to find. Together.
THE END. :)
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! This is the first time I've shared something that I've written, so it's nice to have some feedback. I hope you enjoyed the read.
Keep it real
~ This New Soul