I didn't realize until it was too late. I let your smiles and laughter blind me to what was really going on. I should have known it was all for show. Seen the truth lurking behind your eyes. I think I did but I didn't care because you seemed so happy. You vibrated with life and when I was beside you I felt I vibrated just a little too.
But now my life is dark because I didn't pay attention. I ignored the signs. When I picked you up or dropped you off I was deaf to the shouts I heard. When your shirt rode up I was blind to the bruises it revealed. I asked a few times, I remember that. But just for a second you looked so sad before you brushed it off with a smile that I couldn't bear it. So I stopped asking so I didn't have to see you hurt. So it continued, you pretending you were fine and me pretending I didn't notice how wrong things were.
It probably would have continued indefinitely if I hadn't let you leave my house that night. We lost track of time and when you realized how late it was you tried to hide your panic. I saw but like always I pretended I didn't. You covered with a jokes and smiles. I nodded and let you. I smiled and waved back as you walked into the dark. I heard your steps turn to running as I turned away.
Not even an hour later you called me. I answered with a joke, wanting you hear your laugh. Instead I heard your sobs. My heart ached as you begged me to come help you. You sounded so scared and your breath was harsh static in the speaker. I can't remember running faster in my life.
When I made it to your house your uncle was gone. I don't know what I would have done if he had been. At that moment I didn't really care. All I cared about was reaching you. I found you lying, bloody and unconscious on your bedroom floor. The door had been ripped from its hinges. You lay among the ruins. As I carefully pulled you from the splintered remains of the door your eyes flickered open and your lips curled into a weak smile.
You tried to talk but your words came out as a harsh croak. I laid you down as gently as I could on your bed but you still moaned in pain. The moan turned to a body wracking cough and when you pulled the cloth I gave you from your mouth it was stained with blood. I tried to go to a phone to call someone but you held on to my hand with all your strength and refused to let go even when I asked you to.
You slowly pulled your head into my lap, every centimeter an agony. I sat there stroking your bloody blonde hair and whispering comfort while you slipped back into unconsciousness. I would have left to get help but you wouldn't let go of my hand. My attempts to leave woke you and you clung so tightly to me. I tried to explain that I just wanted to get you help but you whispered 'No' over, and over again until I promised to stay. I lost track of time sitting there like that, whispering whatever comfort I could think of.
Finally, I just listened to your breathing as it grew softer and softer. For a long time the only way I knew you were still alive was your grip on my hand. Eventually you hand fell limply to the bed. Tears stung my eyes as I felt my life collapse with your death. The darkness my life had been before you rushed in even darker with the loss of you. I bent down and pressed a soft kiss to you bloodstained lips. With your death I realized what I hadn't until it was too late. I whispered my revelation to your unhearing ears. I love you.