I don't own bleach…that's about it.
"Lieutenant Rangiku!" Urahara bellowed across the four foot ship deck.
"Yes, Urahara sir," she replied.
"Open the hidden vortex!" Kisuke yelled back, knowing full well that the hidden vortex he demanded was nestled sweetly in between Rangiku's massive dirty pillows, planet sized melons…
"Not in front of the children, sir!" Rangiku looked behind her seeing the forms of one small Hanatarou, and one blushing Ururu.
"Fine then, you cover their eyes then, I will open the hidden vortex!" Urahara reached to open Rangiku's giant jugs, only to be smacked squarely over the head by Toshiro's sword. As he plummeted to the ground Toshiro gave Urahara a look of utter disgust.
The end
This is the result of my friend cosplaying as Rangiku and lots of sugar. Thanks.