Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD
A/N: This fic was inspired by my I Want Santa In His Chambers, Hop On Mister Easter Bunny, Mother Nature Bless Us This Year, You make a good fairy, sire, Humpty Dumpty, Arthur, Merlin and Little Bo Peep!?, Merlin and Arthurs little mouse, Alia and the Star Light, Arthur and His Men, Uthers' and Gaius' 3 Little Kittens, And Down Will Come Merlin, Cradle an All, Little Miss Muffet, Wise Old Owl, And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon and She's Dead, Of Course Fics. You do not have to read them first but it might be a good idea lol. You know for amusement sake.
Warnings: Slash, some humour...uh that is about all I think. Oh and a bath...
AN2: Just do not ask. It is much safe to just not ask.
AN3: I do have a higher rated fic where Merlin's 'punishment' is different PM me if you wanna read it
AN4: I dedicate this to FemaleSpock
The King, Queen and Knave
The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day;
"DADDY!" Arthur looked up from the letter he and Merlin had been reading and Alia flew into the room with a plate in her hands, she skidded to a stop and fell down onto her bum making Merlin chuckle.
"Oh no she's only been around you a few months and she already has your clumsiness" Arthur groaned and Merlin swatted Arthur gentle and Alia giggled letting Merlin help her up "Now what have we told you about running through the castle?"
"Sowwi daddy!" she pouted "Buts I wanted to get heres as quickly as I could coz...because I made you these!" she held out the plate and he smiled taking it
"Thank you baby,"
"That's strawberry and them is cherries" Arthur took a strawberry one and Merlin went to take a cherry one but Alia slapped his hand. "They daddy's tarts"
"Well aren't I your daddy as well?"
"Nope Daddy said your more like my mummy 'coz you fuss" Arthur chocked on his bite of tart and Merlin glared at him
"Well can't I have at least one?"
"Nope daddy's only" Arthur chuckled and took another bite giving Merlin a smug grin. Merlin pouted slightly then grinned and stood up as Alia told Arthur how the cooks had helped her, mainly to avoid being told off as Arthur had had a massive go when alia had been in the kitchen and was almost burnt.
"Well seen as I'm not wanted here" he lent over the table and kissed Arthur licking the Strawberry jam off his bottom lip then before Arthur knew what was happening Merlin war out of the room and Alia was shouting after him. Looking down at the table Arthur growled.
"HEY BRING BACK MY TARTS!" he shouted running after him and Alia giggled sitting in the chair Arthur had just vacated.
The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away.
Merlin laughed silently as he ran through the halls ducking around Uther who stared after him. The plate of tarts was securely in his hold as he sharply turned the corner and ducked into one of the guest rooms. A chuckle bubbled in his throat and he covered his mouth with his hand putting the plate on the table. He heard Arthur run past the door and breathed a sigh of relief.
His relief was short lived as the door flew open and Arthur stalked in closing it behind him.
"Thought you would steal now? I should put you in the stocks"
"But?"
The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore
"Give me the tarts and I will spare you from the stocks"
"Ok, ok" he said holding up his hands and he went to the plate and picked it up turning back to Arthur. Suddenly a devious smile spread across his face and he idly moved them on the plate
"Merlin," he looked at the prince and grinned stuffing one in his mouth and squashing the others "You did not just do that"
"I think I did" he grinned Arthur growled and stalked to him. He easily grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back ignoring the plate falling to the ground he marched Merlin out and to the nearest guards ordering them to put him in the stocks.
The Knave of Hearts brought back the tarts and vowed he'd steal no more.
"You get some kind of sick pleasure out of this," Merlin grumbled as he held out a plate to Arthur. He was still covered in rotten fruit and vegetables but Arthur had said he would get him away from the hard not so rotten apples if he went straight to the kitchen and made up for the tarts.
"Says the one who finds being in the stock's funny" he replied taking one and biting into it. "Did you make these?"
"Yes, why?"
"I didn't know you could cook"
"Well I am the mummy, aren't I?" he grumbled going into Arthur's washroom where he had a bath waiting for him. He heard Arthur laughing from the bedroom and sighed, he loved the idiot, why?
"Want some company?" Arthur asked his hands washing Merlin's hair startling the sulking man. Merlin looked over him and he was only in his breeches.
"Ok" he sat forward and felt Arthur slid in behind him after taking off his breeches.
"Why isn't the water full off seeds and pulp?"
"Washed my hair in the basin," he said leaning back. "Remind me of something?"
"What?"
"Never to steal from you" Arthur chuckled and nodded kissing his neck.
I'll love you forever if you reveiw? Oh and who wants the alternate one?