Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fan fiction of any type. This idea has been rumbling around my brain for a while. It's a bit off canon in places, but that's the joy of writing your own story. The story is my own, but sadly the characters (except the OCs) are not mine. All credit to the Great and Powerful ACD, Moffat, and Gatiss. Enjoy and review. Progress will depend on reviews.
"Bash, it's me! Call me as soon as you get this. I have GREAT news!" Heather's sing-song voice called out from Sebastian's voicemail. Sebastian smiled, despite himself. "That girl thinks everything is GREAT news." Sebastian rolled his eyes and thought about the last time he saw Heather. It was on his last trip to America, where Jim had sent him to handle a certain business associate who felt that distance from Jim could equal deception with Jim. After eliminating that target quite handily, Sebastian got approval from Jim to visit Heather for 2 days. That favor had cost him a bit when he got back, but seeing his old friend was worth it. Heather could best be described as unique. The one thing everyone who knew her agreed upon was she was unforgettable. Love her or hate her, you would definitely never forget her.
That afternoon, Sebastian met Heather at her office in the hospital. The secretary escorted him into her private office and offered him a cup of tea. She explained that Dr. Weire had been called into emergency surgery, but she would call the OR to get an update on how long she expected to be. Sebastian smiled his most charming smile and thanked her. After the secretary closed the door, Sebastian started perusing Heather's desk and shelves. He didn't understand half of the titles of the books and journals lining her bookcases, much less the scientific mumbo-jumbo inside. He smiled when he opened the lowest right-hand drawer in her desk. It was filled with toys of all kinds. Yo-yos, a florescent Slinky, Avengers action figures, cans of Play-Doh, stress balls, the drawer was a child's dream. The secretary walked back in and said, "Mr. Moran, Dr. Weire asked me to tell you that she should only be about 20 more minutes. She also instructed me to make a reservation for 6 pm for Glen Livitt's for the two of you. It's an Irish Restaurant and Pub about 15 minutes from her house." Sebastian asked, "Irish Restaurant? Is it any good?"
"Dr. Weire loves that place. I haven't been, but she swears that the Sheppard's Pie is phenomenal. They have a very impressive whiskey menu, as well. She said you would enjoy that." The secretary smiled with that. Sebastian laughed and thanked her. He sat back down at Heather's desk and checked his messages. Jim had texted him to request that he return early from his trip. Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. With Jim, a request is never just a request. It is a demand that can not be ignored. He picked up a kidney shaped stress toy and squeezed it several times, preparing himself for the return of Jim's message. This was the first time in 8 months that Sebastian had had any time to himself and, while he appreciated everything that his role in Jim's life afforded him, he couldn't help but feel a little irritated that Jim couldn't survive a couple days without him attached to his hip. Sebastian rolled his neck side to side, cracking it a few times, and picked up his phone. Just then, Heather breezed in the door. "Bashie! You're here! I'm sorry I was stuck in surgery, but you know how it goes." Heather threw her arms around Sebastian and hugged him tight. "Oh my God! How have you been? Give me like 2 minutes and then we can get out of here. I asked Cindy to book us a 6 o'clock reservation at this GREAT Irish restaurant. You are going to love it! The Sheppard's pie is amazing. They have this app called Irish Nachos. I know, I know, they are not authentic, but they are so good. Are you ready to go? Who are you calling? Don't tell me that that boss of yours is bugging you while you are on vacay. Oh my God, does he not understand boundaries!? Seriously!" Sebastian shrugged and said, "I AM his Chief of Staff, Kitten. Jim is rather reliant on me. Let me just call him quick and find out what is going on." Sebastian dialed Jim's number, while Heather glared. She heard Jim pick up with a curt, "About damn time, Moran!" Heather grabbed the phone from Sebastian's hand and put it on speaker. "James, this is Sebastian's friend, Heather. Sebastian is NOT available at this time. You WILL leave him alone for the next two days. You are a grown adult. Whatever is going on in your life, YOU need to deal with ON YOUR OWN! I'm hanging up now and keeping his phone until I drop him off at the airport. Bye, now!" Heather turned off Sebastian's phone and slipped it into her pocket as he just gaped at her. "Heather Janeen Weire, do you have ANY idea what you just did? Oh my God, I have to call him back. He's literally going to kill you!"
"Oh, Bash, everything will be fine. Now, we need to swing by the house so you can drop off your stuff and we can both get ready for a FABULOUS night out. I ordered an Uber because we are getting SO DRUNK tonight! Are you okay? You look like you just saw a whole legion of ghosts. You're not worried about your boss, are you? Honey, he's a grown ass adult. He will be fine! You are not his slave. Besides, worst comes to worst and he fires you, you can come over here and work. The hospital is looking for a Chief of Security and you would be perfect! Wouldn't that be great!? We could work together and see each other all the time instead of having to constantly Facetime to actually see each other." Heather had grabbed her purse and was halfway out the door before Sebastian knew what was going on. He had forgotten what a whirlwind she was. "Kitten, I really need my phone back now," Sebastian said with a tremor in his voice. "I have to call Jim back. Please! It's really important." Heather rolled her eyes and shot him an exasperated look. "Fine, here it is, but you are not cutting your visit short by even a minute. I never get to see you and I know that that man works you to death and then some. It's completely unfair to you. You deserve to have some Bashie-time. The world does not revolve around James Moriarty. It is time that he learns that."
"Thank you. Just give me a couple of minutes. Can we go back into your office while I make this call?"
They turned around and Heather unlocked her office and motioned for Sebastian to enter. "You have to promise to let me handle this, Heather. Jim is …" Sebastian trailed off. "A couple asshat, an adult size baby, a royal douche nozzle," offered Heather. "No, Jim has to be handled in a very particular way. He is used to getting his way and does not react well to not getting his way," explained Sebastian. "All right, I promise, I will sit here on the couch and keep my pretty little mouth closed, while he treats you like crap," Heather sighed while pouting.
Sebastian turned his phone on and saw that he already had 10 text messages and 2 voice mails from Jim. Every swear word in every language Sebastian knew started racing through his head as he scanned the texts. Jim was terribly creative with his threats when he was mad and Sebastian knew that every single one was entirely possible. Sebastian dialed Jim's number and steeled himself for the lambasting of a lifetime.
"MORAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW VERY DEAD YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?" roared Jim. "Yes, sir. I'm so sorry, sir. It was completely –" groaned Sebastian. "HOW DARE YOU ALLOW THAT WOMAN TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT? I ORDER YOU TO KILL HER RIGHT NOW. NOW, MORAN, NOW! I WANT TO HEAR HER BODY FALL TO THE FLOOR! BETTER YET, TAKE A VIDEO OF YOU SHOOTING HER. I WANT TO SEE IT AND TREASURE IT FOR SOME TIME TO COME!" boomed Jim.
Sebastian looked up at Heather and she met his gaze. "Jim, Bash isn't going to kill me. He adores me," purred Heather. "Heather, shut up. This is bad enough," hissed Sebastian. "Jim, I know you are absolutely furious, but I can't kill her right now. Too many people know I'm here with her," explained Sebastian. Heather stuck her hand out to Sebastian. "Honey, hand me the phone. Let me talk to him. I promise I will behave." Sebastian looked at her like she was insane.
"That is not a good idea, Heather. You need to let me handle this," begged Sebastian.
"No BASH, let me talk to her. She needs to know just how huge of a mistake she has made today," barked Jim.
Sebastian very carefully handed the phone over to Heather and reminded her to be nice for both of their sakes. "Hello, Mr. Moriarty. This is Heather. I apologize if you are feeling upset about the way I spoke to you earlier. I'm just really pro-," started Heather. "Listen you, I don't care what you have to say, little girl. You are DEAD. Do you understand me? Dead! I will skin you and make you into a pair of shoes! No one speaks to me in that manner. EVER!" snapped Jim.