Hi all!

Thought I'd post this on here. I've been going through my computer and found this lying discarded in the dark recesses of my hard drive. I'll try and post a chapter a week.

A word of warning; this fic is quite long, it's 55 pages on MSW, so it will take a while for me to post it all up. Also, as I have warned about the length, please don't post stuff such as 'I'm getting bored of this' or 'Hurry up and end it, would you?' as that has happened on a couple of other forums. If you're getting bored, just don't read it, simple as 's also very OOC, so be warned!

The starting point is after They Keep Killing Suzie.

:)

xoxoxo

Everyone in the hub was hard at work. Owen was busy working on one of the bodies found the previous day. Tosh was working on a new translation device. Ianto was busy making more coffee magic. Jack was in his office, doing some admin work. He had sent Gwen home to recover from her ordeal the previous day. She had put up a good fight, but eventually had to agree to let Jack take her home. It came as no surprise to Jack that, at the end of a long day, everyone was eager to get out of the place. He sighed as he was the only one, as usual, to remain behind.

Gwen was sitting at home after being sent home from work when she received a text message from Owen.

Hey! Just finished! Wanna come over? O xxx

Gwen sighed. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go round. She'd heard a lot the previous day, and if it was true, she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue her relationship with Owen. Grudgingly, she got up and got into her car, deciding that she and Owen needed to talk.

When Gwen arrived at Owen's flat, he admitted her and tried to kiss her, but she backed away.
"What's wrong?"
Gwen sighed and sat down on the bed.
"Owen, I - I was told a lot of things yesterday, and I need you to be honest with me."
Owen sat down next to her.
"What is it?"
"When Suzie came back to life, she told me that I had replaced her at Torchwood. At first, I thought she just meant in her job, but then she said something which made me think differently."
"Don't believe anything that bitch says! She tried to kill you! Twice!"
"Owen, just listen to me! She - she asked me if I had slept with you..."
Owen looked up. In his mind, he knew what was coming. He knew that whatever Suzie had told Gwen was true. He couldn't lie to her about it. Could he?
"From the look on my face, I assume she thought I had. Now, Owen, this is the bit that gets me; she said I had replaced her in more ways than one."
Owen stood up, feeling that anything he said would make no difference.
"What do you want me to say?"
"Owen, I just want the truth. Did you have a relationship with Suzie?"
"Yeah, I did."
"So, is that all I am, a replacement?"
"No, Gwen, it's not like that!"
"So how is it then, Owen?"
"Look, it was complicated. But yeah, I guess I did sort of love her, when she was alive."
Gwen got up and made to leave.
"But - " Owen ran over and grabbed her. "That doesn't mean that I don't love you right now. Suzie's dead. She's not the person I thought she was."
"Owen, I can't play second best to a dead woman. I think it's better if we stop seeing each other."
Before Owen could stop her, Gwen had run out of the door and down to her car. She drove into the night, and stopped only when she was sure Owen wouldn't be able to reach her by foot anytime soon. She had tears streaming down her face. She received a text message on her mobile phone. It was from Owen.

Gwen, don't leave like this. I don't want this to end. O xxx

She sent him a message back which read:

Owen, I don't want to see you anymore. I can't just be another notch on your bedpost. I'm sorry. G

Without thinking, Gwen drove off and ended up outside Torchwood. She cleaned herself up as best she could and entered the hub. She headed straight for her desk and pretended to be looking through some paperwork.
Jack looked up as Gwen entered the hub. He watched her walk over to her desk and start looking through some papers. After a while, he saw a tear run down Gwen's face, so he walked over to her.
"What are you doing her so late?" He asked as he walked down the stairs.
Gwen, hearing him approach, quickly wiped her face and turned to face him.
"Oh, nothing, just looking through some paperwork. I'll be gone before you know it."
Jack took hold of her arm as she made to turn back around.
"Gwen, what's going on?"
Another tear ran down her face, but she ignored it.
"Oh, nothing. It;s just been a very stressful couple of days, that's all..."
Jack held Gwen's arm and led her up to his office.
"Come with me."
He sat Gwen down and took a bottle of whisky out of his desk drawer. He poured a little into two glasses.
"I think we both need this." Gwen gave him a weak smile. "Now, what's going on? And don't give me that crap about Suzie and everything." He added, before Gwen could speak.
Gwen sighed. She couldn't think of a way to explain to Jack without telling him about Owen. Although, she thought he probably already knew.
"Is it Owen?"
Gwen looked up, shocked.
"Look, I know that something's been going on. I'm not stupid, OK?"
"Jack, nothing's going on. Not now, anyway."
Gwen told the story about Owen and Suzie to Jack, who listened extremely well, Gwen thought. When she had finished, Jack sighed.
"Gwen, what do you want?"
"What?"
"Right now. What do you want?"
"I want - I guess - To be honest, Jack, I don't know if I can do this anymore."
Jack looked up.
"This job. I've been working here for three months, and yeah, they have been three of the best months of my life. But they've also been three of the most bloody terrifying, too. In the past three months, I've almost lost my life three times. I don't know how much longer I can do this for."
"Gwen, believe me, all of us have felt like that at some point. But there's nothing better than this job."
"What, even the great Jack Harkness has wanted to quit?"
"Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Well, yeah. You act like you're indestructible; like nothing will ever hurt you. And I don't mean physically. I mean emotionally."
"Well, that's where you'd be wrong."
Gwen looked into Jack's eyes.
"What do you mean? When have you ever felt scared?" Gwen tried to laugh it off, but something in Jack's eyes made her feel unsure.
"Before Suzie almost killed you, she phoned me. She said that she was gonna kill you, and that we couldn't stop her. And do you know what I said to her?"
Gwen shook her head as Jack stood up and looked out of his office window onto the peaceful base.
"I told her that I'd kill her if she killed you."
"Jack, you would have said that about anyone."
"No. It's not like that. When I thought she'd killed you, you have no idea what it felt like."
Gwen stood up and walked over by Jack.
"Then tell me."
"It felt...it felt as though she'd ripped out a piece of my heart and was tearing it into small pieces right in front of me."
Gwen stared into the empty hub, not knowing how to respond.
"But you know what was worse? Looking over to you when we brought you back to find you in Owen's arms. I would have given anything to be where he was at that time. Anything."
Gwen stood gobsmacked.
"Jack, I - I didn't know..."
"Why should you? You were happy with Rhys. And then you were too busy with Owen to notice me."
Gwen was still in shock. She sat back down and had another drink.
"So where does that leave us?"
Gwen looked over at Jack.
"I - I dunno, Jack. Like I said to Owen, I don;t wanna be just another notch on a bedpost. I've got a good life with Rhys. I'm not going to sacrifice that for a string of one night stands."
"Gwen, I wouldn’t expect you to."
Before she knew what she was doing, Gwen had walked over to Jack and kissed him. He broke off and looked her in the eye.
"Gwen, are you sure about this? It could change everything."
She didn't say anything. Instead, she kissed him again and pulled him over to the desk, where she sat down. Slowly, Jack sat down next to her and pulled her close to him. Gwen then pushed Jack down so that he was lying on the desk and lay on top of him, still kissing him, but more passionately now. Jack had started to insert his tongue into Gwen's mouth and she had hers in his, when her phone started to ring. She looked up, but Jack pulled her back.
"Leave it!" He hissed.
Jack started to kiss her again, but her phone kept ringing. She got up onto the floor and answered. It was Rhys.
"Hello?"
"Hi, just me. Just wondering when I can expect you at home?"
"Oh, erm, I'm almost finished here now. Sorry to keep you waiting."
"No worries, I was just getting worried about you, that's all. You've been gone for a few hours now; you said you'd only be an hour at most."
"Yeah, sorry. I got a little sidetracked."
"OK love, I'll see you in a bit."
"Yeah, bye."
Gwen sighed and reached over for her coat.
"I have to go; Rhys has been worrying about me."
"Yeah, course. Well, see you..."
This is incredible, Gwen thought, we're both acting like sticking our tongues down each other's throats is completely normal.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Jack."
Gwen left the hub, with Jack staring after her.