A/N: Written for my new favorite show because I haven't found many Rachel-centric fics.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Rachel Zane wanted more than anything to be a lawyer. But, somehow, four years had passed since she'd graduated and she was still without a law degree. It wasn't fair. She studied and studied and studied and still she wasn't good enough. She could never be good enough. A daughter to the father that had wanted a son, a paralegal when she wanted so badly to be a lawyer.
She saw the cocky way that the associates looked at her. She could practically read their thoughts as they walked by her office and glanced at her. Not good enough…not smart enough…always second best…They though they were so special with their Harvard degrees and precious LSAT scores. She was smarter than half of them…she knew more about law than practically all of them. She just couldn't pass a stupid test and, for some reason, that made her so much less than everyone else.
When she was in college, all of her friends assured her that she'd be the world's best lawyer. Sure, she wasn't all that good at taking tests, but she was smart and witty and they had all watched Legally Blonde one to many times to believe that getting into Harvard would be all that hard. She had let herself believe it. She'd been positive that she'd get through the LSAT just fine, despite her test-taking issues. She had failed spectacularly.
The day that Rachel called home and told her parents that she couldn't pass the LSAT was one of the worst of her entire life. All she wanted was to make them proud, for her father to, for once, to be thankful that he had her instead of a boy. They both told her that it was okay, that she had tried and she had failed and now it was time to face the real world. So she applied to Pearson-Hardman as a paralegal while all of her friends went off to Law School.
When she had first got there, she'd been sure that it was a temporary fix. A way to pay rent until she took the test again and got into Law School. Then, a year passed and she was still there. And then two years. Then three.
She'd grown comfortable in her little niche at Pearson-Hardman, a fact that she resented slightly. She got paid enough to live the way she wanted to. She had her own office now, something most of the associates didn't even have. People didn't necessarily treat her with respect, but they did respect the fact that she knew what she was doing. It was frustrating, though, to see the life she wanted to have so close…but so far away.
When she wasn't doing her job, she was studying. The LSATs were a giant shadow over her life. She wanted so badly to go to law school that it had become an obsession. She thought about it every single day…stayed up until two in the morning reading about the best ways to combat test anxiety.
And meanwhile, her former schoolmates were graduating and beginning successful careers as lawyers. They were out arguing cases, finding justice and here she was, doing paperwork. It just wasn't fair.
When she had decided to become a lawyer, her father had told her that life wasn't fair, that she was going to have to give up her morals if she really wanted this. She hadn't believed him. So far in her life, everything had usually worked out fine. She thought that the only problems in the world must be caused by people like her father, people who wouldn't accept the fact that life could be fair if you wanted it to be.
But, crouched over an LSAT practice test in the early hours of the morning, she finally understood exactly what he meant. Life wasn't fair. There were so many cocky Harvard morons who passed tests without a thought, and then there was her, the girl who studied and prepared and tried so hard and still couldn't pass. Always second best, the paralegal and never the lawyer.
And it just wasn't fair.
A/N: And there you have it...review and all that.