Awakening
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's brilliant works.
I wanted to wake up.
I could feel the burning: a crisp, unforgiving sensation that passed through my body in quick, sharp spurts. It was like the fire was in my blood, raging through on a rampage, and bent on destruction.
I could feel it. I could scratch at my arms until they bled, but I couldn't open my eyes.
I wasn't sure how long it had been – I was only conscious of the pain. And the angel's voice.
"Shh, Bella," he would often whisper in my ear. His musical, lilting voice made it a little more possible to endure the pain.
But it wasn't just fire that tore at me. Something was pricking at my skin, like sharp points of needles injecting themselves into my flesh. But they were so cold… The tips of icebergs. I was always conscious of them. The contrast between the needles and the fire was amazingly difficult to handle.
As hard as the pain was to endure, it was the images that kept me screaming.
None of them were clear, or distinct, just blurs, whirling in front of my eyes, teasing me like swinging meat in front of a dog's nose.
It was like the venom was pulling up my fears, out of the depths of my subconscious and holding them in front of my eyes just out of reach.
At times there were flashes of red. Not just a normal, dull red, but a deep, inviting crimson. It beckoned me with an almost humiliating appeal. I want to touch it, to sink my hands into it and soak them. I wanted to drink it. So badly I wanted to drink it. I wanted the feeling of sticky, red blood to fill my mouth, exciting my taste buds. And I wanted it to drip down my throat, slowly, without the slightest hint of time or worry… I was ravenously thirsty.
And though I was precariously preoccupied with the blood, I knew instantly when the angel was speaking to me.
"Bella…"
I moaned, and the red was gone. In its place, the fire burned more passionately than ever before.
"Stop! Stop burning me!"
Through the haze I wondered if the angel had been listening.
Suddenly, another image popped into my head. It was a face. It was familiar to me, I was sure of this. But the pain kept me from remembering his name. I knew it wasn't my angel. I remembered very clearly the face of my angel.
I felt a surge of fire course through my chest and I heard another voice calling my name. It wasn't the tilting, calming voice of the angel, but something much more disconcerting.
"Bella!" He snapped my name, but I sensed the chagrin, the sadness in his voice. It was then that I realized the voice belonged to the face I was seeing. "Bella, no…"
Jacob. This face was Jacob's.
"Bella why did you do this?"
Another flash of red clouded my vision. I called out to him.
"Bella stop! Bella, let me go!"
I had to admit, this had me confused. I was positively sure I wasn't doing anything. I couldn't even open my eyes.
I heard a husky scream, and then an unmistakable, gurgling choke.
The red cleared away.
Before me, I saw Jacob, and I knew that his arm wasn't supposed to bend that way, his eyes weren't supposed to look so glazed, and that his throat… his throat wasn't supposed to bleed so much.
"B-be-ella…"
I felt something unbearably cold against my hot skin. I knew I was screaming. I could hear its hysterical tone. The coldness was embracing my outside, but it couldn't stop the burning inside of me.
"Isabella… Isabella… Shh, Bella…" It was the angel again.
I didn't deserve him. I didn't, I didn't!
His soft voice tilted into a lullaby, and I could hear my name on the tips of the rhythm.
I felt the fire pressing down in my chest, building flames around my lungs. I cried out in pain. Then a sharp, flicking pain struck my heart. I gasped. It seemed to be going deeper and deeper, slowly spreading throughout the confines of the heart.
I grunted, the pain gradually growing unbearable.
"Bella…" The angel spoke to me gently, but I could hear the worry in his voice.
The ache became erratic, pounding and thumping into every part of my body, but I knew the pressure was on my heart. It felt like millions of tiny needles had penetrated the walls, ripping and tearing at the organ's flesh. A sharper, more distinct wave of pain hit and I panicked.
I couldn't breathe. The fire had burned the air out of my lungs, and it flickered devilishly up to my shuddering heart. My chest tightened, and I vainly tried to suck in air. My lungs contracted, but my heart burst. I could feel it splitting inside me, causing my whole body to tremble vigorously in shock.
"Carlisle!" The angel was calling someone furiously, his cold hands stroking my cheek, my quivering body being held tightly in his arms.
As my heart tore, I could hear millions of voices inside my head. Each one was distinct, and yet blurred. But all of them were yelling.
"How could you do this to me?"
"Think of your family Bella!"
"You've made a grave mistake…"
"You will never be forgiven!"
I tried to separate the voices, but it was next to impossible.
And then an impenetrable pounding deafened my ears.
The cold embrace of my angel's arm was released, but I felt a sudden chilling cold spreading throughout my chest, and I realized with relief that it was extinguishing the fire. But I soon began to grasp that the cold was permanent. It was settling in my chest as if was meant to be there, and planned to be there for a long while. Like a bear settling in for hibernation.
It was then that I realized my heart had stopped beating.
"Bella, can you hear me?" The angel's voice shook in a way it wasn't supposed to.
I murmured something incoherent without opening my lips. I shivered as the cold spread down to my legs.
"Bella!" His voice was urgent.
I forced my lips to open.
"Yes?"
I heard several sighs of relief and I was confused, but I was still waiting for the cold to completely settle. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to live with it.
The images in my head had stopped, and except for tiny spurts, so had the flashes of red, although I couldn't deny the new feeling of thirst. My eyes saw nothing but black now.
"How are you feeling Bella?" the musical voice asked me tenderly.
"Cold," I whimpered.
I detected the hint of a chuckle in the air.
"Open your eyes please."
I did as was commanded, and to my own secret pleasure, awoke to my angel's face.
"Hello Edward," I whispered.
He shot me a stately grin. "Hello Bella."
I paused for a moment, enjoying the pleasure of not being in pain, and how completely out of pain I felt. I then pushed myself closer to him.
"How do I look?" I stared at him relentlessly.
"Beautiful as always, Bella." He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "I hate to disappoint you, but not much having to do with appearance changes during the transformation. Except for your eyes."
I blinked curiously. "What color are they?"
"Crimson," he replied smoothly.
I nodded in satisfaction. I was still having trouble getting used to the chill in my chest, and trying to dismiss the images I had seen during my transformation.
"Wow," I breathed. "I don't feel very different…"
"And there's no trumpets sounding, no loud thundering from the heaven's for your change. Just me, welcoming you back," Edward murmured mockingly.
I rolled my eyes. "So what do we do now that we've got the rest of forever to be together?"
Edward smiled softly. "Whatever you want, Bella. Absolutely anything you want."
"I want you," I stated simply, pressing my lips to his.
And for the first time, I truly woke up.
A/N: A little short fic about Bella's transformation. This is a revised version - I had to change the color of Bella's eyes, I got it wrong last time! So anyways, I hope you liked it. Sorry if there are any grammer mistakes, knowing me I probably missed something. Oh, look at that tempting REVIEW button down there - don't you jut wanna push my button?
eb.
