A/N: Hi all. I came up with this idea when reading an old review from ZOE, unfortunately I can't thank her because she only logged on as a guest, so if you are ZOE and you recently read my story OLD PARTNER and you said that nothing Dick Wolf can do will repair the damage done to their relationship, then PM me and I'll say thank you again.

This is set three years after Elliot put in his papers.

Olivia Benson had spent the last three years trying to figure out who she was without Elliot Stabler. He had left her without a word of warning and without any kind of farewell. It had been a hard road and a difficult healing process but she could honesty say that she had survived it. Olivia had not stopped working, she had forced herself to eat, following the days of his absence, until everything she did became easier. Robotic. Auto-pilot.

It took everything she had to move on. Olivia was doing better. She was a survivor.

But all that changed when Munch called her up with six simple words.

"I know what happened to Elliot."

Olivia's heart started thumping out of tune.

"W-what are you talking about?"

"Elliot hasn't been ignoring you, Liv. He doesn't know who the hell he is."

Olivia dropped the phone and let out a gasp as she collapsed to the floor, her knees having give out from underneath her.

… … …

Olivia got the details from Munch, and after finding out that Cragen had known all along, she went straight to his office to confront him. She didn't bother knocking. She waltzed into the room and slammed the door closed behind her, determined to show him how angry she was.

Olivia was trembling. How could he claim to care about her, and have kept this from her for three whole years? He had seen the way she was, he had seen her struggle in his absence, he had put her with Nick in attempt to get her to function without Elliot. All this time… he had known the truth and hadn't bothered to tell her.

"Liv, what…?" he didn't finish his sentence. Cragen could see by the look on her face that she knew, and he didn't bother trying to pretend otherwise.

"I don't know what to say to you," she said angrily.

"It's not that simple, Liv. I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice. This effected me… this made me… I can't even…" she couldn't form a full coherent sentence as she tried to understand why he would do something like this, and all she could do was shake her head at him and tremble with rage.

"Sit down," he gestured to an empty chair. "Let me explain."

Olivia didn't move. "You knew ALL this time. You knew."

He nodded.

"Please, let me just-"

"Shut up!" she snapped.

Cragen closed his mouth. He knew what was coming, and he knew that he deserved it. He knew her rage was warranted, but he also knew that he couldn't have done things any differently even if he had the power to do it over. If he had told her, he would have lost his job and he wouldn't have been able to watch over her the way he did.

"How could you do that to me?" she asked.

He looked her in the eye. "Because I didn't have a choice. Kathy gave me orders, and my hands were tied. If I told you, Liv, I would have lost my job. I would have been unable to-"

"I would have told you," she stated.

Cragen nodded.

"No matter what it cost me… I would have told you."

"I know. I hated myself for it, Liv, I really did. But Kathy threatened to sue me if I told you. She didn't want you to know. I was under strict orders. There's nothing you could have done for him. He doesn't remember anything."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "You've seen him?!" she accused.

"Yes."

"Where is he?" she demanded.

"Liv, I can't-"

"WHERE?!"

He lowered his eyes to the floor and remained mute.

Damn him. Olivia was a detective. She'd find out herself if she had to.

She left the office and slammed the door closed so hard that the glass shattered, causing every pair of eyes to watch after her as she stalked out of the precinct.

Damn them all, too.

CLIFF-HANGER!

Wanna read some more? ;-)