Disclaimer: The song Please Don't Leave Me is Pink's, Murdoc and 2D belong to Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn.
Lagoon-blue cupcakes, wrapped neatly in a bakery box. Sitting on his counter like a note passed at the back of class with ink-stained hands and secret smiles. They reminded Murdoc of his hair, that mess of cobalt that felt like silk running through your fingers. His heart shattered all over again, all the pieces he had fit back together so carefully. He wanted to swear, as long and as loud as he could but he bit his tongue. His words brought heartache.
I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you out of here
Or said something insulting
He had tried. He had chased after his rolling suitcase and taken back every word. He had begged, with a broken voice and a heavy heart. And sometimes trying is enough, sometimes your love is enough and nothing else matters. But sometimes the love of your life leaves on a crowded bus full of strangers and you never see him again.
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is broken
Their first kiss had happened on a night of cold hands and too much alcohol. He remembered being angry, and then he remembered butterflies in his stomach and lips so soft they took his breath away. 2D's smile against his own had felt like their own private joke. The best kind, one they told again and again.
They had spent the rest of the night sharing heat and tracing the contours of each other's bodies. Murdoc missed nights like that. He missed them in the pit of his stomach and in the spot of his nose 2D had once kissed and called beautiful.
Please, don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
Dark rum warmed his mouth like a sloppy kiss from the boy he was trying to forget. His mind was always coming up with reasons why. Maybe Murdoc had hit him too hard. Maybe he wasn't worth trying to understand. Maybe 2D hadn't meant his whispered "I love you."
Maybe.
I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without
You're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you
I'm sorry
Murdoc wished he could take back every drunken insult, every unprovoked swing of his fist. He couldn't tell himself why he did it. It was just easier than love. 2D had tried to show him how to love but it was all too vulnerable and honest. He had waited patiently, through nights of screaming and through the back of Murdoc's hand against his cheek. Then when Murdoc calmed down he would kiss his bruises and whisper an infinity in his ear. But eventually 2D gave up. Murdoc had taken the easy way out, and he had paid for it with his heart.
How did I become so obnoxious
What is it with you that makes me act like this
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
He was the reason Murdoc stayed up late and waited for a call that would never come. The reason you could count his ribs through his shirt. He was his everything, and Murdoc could feel himself caving in like someone had stolen his bones.
He was why Murdoc sat at the counter with tear-stained cheeks at four a.m., with his hand clutching the neck of a bottle and prussian blue frosting on his tongue.
Please, don't leave me