My Brothers Children

Nolofinwe and Morifinwe

A sound like a wounded animal echoed through the halls of the palace. Startled from the cry I doubled over to catch the book I nearly dropped. I made sure to mark my spot before setting it down to investigate the noise. I was comfortably settled in one of the many family rooms, this one was smaller and more intimate than most.

The shrill cry was the most pitiful sound I had ever heard, and whoever was creating such a sound had a powerful set of lungs as the sound grew louder when I open the door. I walked the vast halls of the palace listening closely and turning down several halls as the cry bounced off the walls.

I was surprised no one had seen to the crier, and wondered how long the voice had been calling out. I felt like I traveled around the place getting close and further away all at the same time, with luck I heard the voice more clearly, It was hoarser and a little quieter. Just as I was walking around the corner I realized that it was not some strangled animal, but an elfling. An elfling I realized was calling out to my father as well as my elder brother.

Finally turning the corner I saw the elfling with dark hair and his, redder than usual face+- as tears bubbled from his eyes and fell down his chubby cheeks. He called out again, but to no avail. I knew there was no way his father or grandfather would come to his aid, they were in a meeting with advisors on the other side of the palace. Seeing as I was the only one to answer his cry I approached him.

"Carnistir," he didn't appear to hear me as he continued to wail. Sighing to myself I walked closer and knelt down and placed both of my hands on his shoulders.

I called his name again, and this time he rubbed his tiny hands over his bloodshot eyes and looked up at me. I offered him a comforting smile and in my lightest tone spoke to him, "what's wrong?"

He sniffed and turned away from me, "my brothers left me."

"Oh" I dumbly replied, I wasn't sure what to say. I knew that his three older brothers my son included went hunting earlier to pass the time as my brothers sons waited for the meeting to end. I didn't think they would exclude their younger brother from the activity.

I didn't know what else to say to my sniffling nephew, I was sure I knew the reason he was left behind, but to keep the conversation going I asked why.

"They told me I was too young, and that I would only get in the way." He explained as a new onset of tears flowed down. I understood completely how he felt. Being the younger sibling I idolized my older brother. I wanted to be with him and do all the things he did. Rarely would he humor me with spending a little time, but it was never enough for me. He always dismissed me and told me that he was preoccupied with some project or something. Without any younger siblings at the time I had no one to spend my time with.

I patted his back and told him it was going to be ok "Don't be sad, I'm sure your brothers didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I told him what I told myself back when I was his age.

He looked at me again and sniffed, with his brow furrowed. "I'm not sad, I'm mad at them."

I was once again at a loss for words and felt my lips make an 'o' shape. At this he seemed to finally calm down, the tears had stopped but still looked upset.

"Would you like to spend time with me? " He looked down at the floor and shifted, before silently agreeing.

"Excellent," Without question I picked him up and placed him on my hip and carried him back to the room I just came from. Before reaching the room I ran into a servant and asked them to bring drinks and sweet cakes to the family room.

After a few cups of tea and sweetcakes later, Carnistir looked like his usual self, as he curiously searched the room while I went back to my book.

"Thank you," I barely heard his voice. It was the first time he spoke after our conversation in the hall.

"It is no problem, little one, I'm glad you are not upset anymore, I do understand what you feel. I loved your father so much I wanted to be around him all the time but often times he was busy with other matters."

"I bet you didn't become angry, like I did." His gaze turned to the floor.

"Actually I did," His head jerked up and I met his surprised expression.

"You get angry?" I chuckled at his shock.

"Of course I do, everyone does at some point." Calming down I spoke again "I learned to control my anger."

He became interested as he edge off the sofa that sat across from me, "How?"

"First, I hold my breath, and slowly breathe out. Sometimes I count in my head."

As I spoke Carnistir left the sofa and climbed up to my knee looking up at me with wide eyes.

"Does it work all the time," I wrapped my arms around his middle and held him close to me as I smiled down at him.

"It works when I need it to. At first it was difficult, it takes practice. You have to remember to think before you act."

He nodded like he was taking mental notes. I have heard out all of my brothers children, Carinistir has more of a temper, I hope in this way he will learn to control it, or grow out of it. He is still young after all. I mused to myself.

"When I started to practice to handle my anger, my parents were proud of me, they told me that I was acting like a grown up.

His eyes sparkled as I must have said the magic word, "just like a grown up?"

I silently chuckled, "yes, just like a grown up, they were the best compliment I could receive."

"What else did you do?"

"Instead of chasing after my older brother I started to turn to other interest, reading for one." I said as I picked up the book on my other knee. "It not only helps to calm my temper, but it keeps me busy so that way I don't get upset when my brother didn't want to play with me."

His dark eyes sparkled, "Would it be alright if I read to you." I was surprised and touched by his words as I told him yes.

He jumped off of my knee and after a few moments returned to his place on my knee and a book full of poems. He began to read and I listened contently to each word.

I heard the door to the room open, I blinked several times before I realized I fell asleep. Glancing up at the noise was my older brother himself. Dressed in his finest robes he approached me with his cool face.

"Where are my other sons?" Feanaro asked.

I rubbed what little sleep I had from my eyes and held back a yawn, "last I heard they went hunting." Feanaro puffed as I answered him, then inclined his head to the child on my lap.

Carnistir had stretched himself across my legs as his head lay comfortably on my other knee.

"I hope he didn't give you a hard time."

"No, he was a delight." I smiled down at my nephews sleeping form and carefully pulled a strand of hair behind his ear.

Feanaros hands touch his youngest son, he didn't stir. He carefully lifted him off of my legs and placed his head on his chest as his hands caressed him. He looked at Carnistir who was still peacefully asleep. I could see the love in his eyes as he brought his lips to his sons temple. He shifted Carnistir again so that his head was resting on his shoulder.

The absence of little Carnistir from my legs felt cold, and I wished that Feanaro had left him there a while longer. Feanaro walk toward the exit, but paused as his hand lingered on the knob.

He turned to me and with a rare smile quietly spoke, "thank you for entertaining him."

I inclined my head, "what are uncles for." Feanaro politely dipped his head and left. I hoped that I would have more moments with little Carnistir again.