"Daddy, make it snow!" Logan says, rushing over to the kitchen table as I try to finish drying his hands for dinner. Logan laughs and rushes right up to Loki, tapping his knees impatiently. Loki opens his mouth, fashioning it into an O, before blowing out a Jötunn-cold gust, spreading a miniature blizzard about the kitchen. Logan laughs and screeches, jumping up and down in Loki's snow, attempting to catch flakes in his little hands. I stand there with my arms crossed and marvel at the boy, his beautiful curls bouncing loosely like springs off his head. After a good ten seconds or so, Loki stops blowing snow, as not to make the kitchen floor too wet. Logan stops bouncing and stomps his foot.
"Why you stop?!" he asks. Loki laughs and beckons the boy, who steps slowly towards him.
"'Cause your mother will have a fit if I soak up the floor," he says, pulling Logan up into his lap and hugging him, kissing his forehead lingeringly. Logan laughs and pulls a small hand through Loki's hair before sighing and resting his head against Loki's chest tiredly. The oven beeps and I walk over to it to take out the potatoes I was baking.
"Da da," I listen to my son speak as I put on oven mitts to get into the oven, "Will I ever be able to make it snow?" Logan asks hopefully. Loki laughs.
"I don't know, son. Maybe someday," Loki says honestly, and I start feeling curious myself, wondering whether Loki's Jötunn blood will ever override my human genes and give Logan the same special abilities. I glance at the two of them to find Loki brushing Logan's hair back out of his eyes, Logan's hand playfully covering Loki's mouth, hoping he'll blow another miniature blizzard. Logan whines and Loki laughs again before kissing his forehead.
"Wait and see, Lo. You haven't finished growing up yet," Loki adds, "Who's daddy's boy?"
"I am!" Logan shouts, "You always ask me that—you ask me yesterday and I give you the same answer, da da. Why don't you remember I'm your boy?" Logan asks seriously. Loki laughs.
"It's just something fathers say sometimes, kid," Loki says, gently pulling one of Logan's curls so that it straightens out to a long lock of hair. Logan nuzzles his face into Loki's chest and yawns.
"Yeah, he's had a very long day," I add, placing the lid back on the rice, which is nearly finished. Loki smiles over at me, rubbing our son's back. The bell rings right when I'm about to put the potatoes in the oven for another five minutes.
"Let me get it," Loki says, picking Logan up as he stands.
"Ready to see uncle Thor and auntie Jane?" Loki asks him.
"Mhmm," Logan mumbles. As Loki passes me, the boy squirms to get down. Loki pauses and puts Logan down in front of the refrigerator, passing his hand along my lower back as he exits the kitchen to get to the front door. I feel a tug on the skirt of my dress as I reach into the cupboard for some plates.
"Mommy, can I have some apple juice?" Logan asks. As the child smiles, all I can see is Loki's mischievous set of lips.
"Of course, baby. Just let me get out some plates," I say before sighing. Logan watches me, waving his hands like a bird attempting to fly its way out of the nest. Every time I turn around, he's asking for juice, but I figured he could have some, seeing as he was ready to fall asleep on Loki's lap a moment earlier. I put the plates down and go into the refrigerator. I can hear Thor's laughter in the hallway, and Logan turns his attention to the doorway, where he slowly creeps and pokes his head out to the other side. He then runs back into the kitchen and hides behind my legs, burying his face into my dress. And then Thor's blonde head pokes into the kitchen. He looks around, eyebrows arched.
"Hello, Misty," he says jovially, "You haven't seen little Logan around, have you?" he asks sarcastically. I laugh and shake my head.
"You know, I'm not sure if he's even home right now," I add, shaking the bottle of apple juice, which is already a little less than half empty since I bought it at the store two days prior. I make a mental note to keep track of how many times Logan asks Loki for juice after I've already given it to him.
"Boo!" Logan shouts, stepping from behind my legs. Thor steps fully into the kitchen, feigning fear as the boy runs up to his uncle to be swooped in the air, dangled over Thor's head like a plane. He laughs and Thor takes him for a little ride about the kitchen. When Jane walks in, her stomach is the first thing I notice. She sets a white box on the counter. We exchange hugs with some difficulty and she smiles at me when I ask what the due date is.
"I know I asked last week on the phone, but I must have forgotten. Things have been so busy around here with the new year, my promotion, switching Logan to a new school," I add. Thor and Jane are in town for the week, while she will attend some science convention or other, and this dinner is the first time in 2014 we're seeing each other for a while, as Thor and Jane would be off to Asgard for the birth of their child in the next two months. Loki walks back into the kitchen, rolling up his white shirt sleeves.
"March tenth, but we'll see," Jane informs me, rubbing her belly a moment, before telling me that it feels like negative seven degrees outside.
"I scared you," Logan says, pointing into Thor's sturdy chest. Thor laughs.
"Yes, you did, sport," Thor responds, entertaining him and holding him at arm's length.
"Look at you! You were barely able to speak the last time I saw you, now you're all big and strong."
Logan scrunches up his nose, flexing his small arms and Thor laughs harder before hugging him and putting him down. Loki is leaning against the counter, admiring his brother and son. Thor stoops to Logan's height and Logan puts his hands on Thor's shoulders.
"Logan, you're going to have a little baby cousin soon, because auntie Jane is pregnant," he says, nodding in Jane's direction; she waves at Logan and says hello. Logan stares over at Jane's round stomach. He gasps and his green eyes widen.
"My cousin's in there?!" Logan asks, pointing at Jane, who laughs before nodding. She leans in towards me, "How much does he know about the birds and the bees?" she asks me quietly.
"Enough to know that the stork brings babies to mom and dad," I respond just as quietly, "Not the graphic details," I add.
"…But how did the stork put him in there? Can't he breathe?!" Logan asks, horrified suddenly. Thor turns and cocks his head sideways, gazing over at Jane, who looks like she's holding in a laugh.
"Actually, she can breathe just fine, Logan. She's got her own special way," Jane grins.
"Uhm," Loki says, stepping in, "It's a long story, champ. All you need to know is that you're going to be a big cousin soon. Isn't that exciting?" Loki finishes, stepping between Logan and his stare which is fixed on Jane's stomach. Thor stands and clears his throat.
"I brought wine," he informs, and I look over on the counter to find the bottle he must have put there before, and I managed not to notice.
"Shall we start dinner?" Loki asks, guiding a still confused-looking Logan to the table.
"Everything's just about ready," I say, pouring Logan's juice finally.
"Let me help," Jane says as I bring the cup to Logan.
"Oh, no, no, no—I've got it, Jane. You just sit down and—"
"Misty, I'm pregnant, not handicapped," Jane grins, "Let me help," she says, and I point to the dishes on the counter, letting her know I'd meant to have everything set by the time she and Thor arrived. She keeps telling me not to worry about it as I let her know where the silverware is. I glance over at the table as I stir the stir fry to find Loki and Thor engaged in a conversation with Logan, who I can hear asking about Asgard and whether or not uncle Thor can blow snowflakes. When Logan asks Thor how come he can't blow snowflakes like daddy, Loki and Thor exchange glances.
"Well, son, your dad is talented. Talented in ways that I am not," Thor responds simply, leaning in towards Logan and speaking gently with a smile. Logan reaches out and puts his hand over Thor's mouth. Loki laughs.
"He's trying to see whether your mouth is cold. Does it to me all the time," Loki adds. He stands up and grabs three glasses, one for me, one for Thor, and one for himself. Loki helps me serve, and soon we're all eating and talking. Thor is kept busy by Logan's questions about his and Loki's upbringing. I keep half listening to the conversation, which Thor is careful to omit particular details from. I know that Loki's listening, too, answering where he can with white lies to which Logan is none the wiser. Jane is still talking to me about something physics related in terms of the convention she's in town for, inviting me to the guest lecture she'll be giving on her own research. I tell her I'll be checking my schedule ASAP, because working for a fashion magazine has had my hands tied more tightly than usual, what with my promotion to photo editor and interviewer. I jokingly suggest that she bring back Asgardian gowns for me to photograph for the spring fashion edition of the magazine, but Jane takes my words seriously and promises she'll bring me back something nice.
"Daddy, when do I get to go to Asgard?" Logan asks for the umpteenth time since he's been able to talk.
"I don't know, Lo," Loki answers, "In the near future. Now eat that broccoli. You've been pushing it round your plate since you started eating," Loki says in a stricter tone than he usually uses with Logan. Logan scrunches up his nose in disgust.
"You want to grow up big and strong, like uncle Thor?"
Logan takes a glance at Thor before stuffing the broccoli into his mouth and chewing it hastily. Loki laughs and tells him to slow down so he doesn't choke. Thor seems entirely amused by Logan's performance, and I reach across the table to wipe the teriyaki sauce off of Logan's chin.
"I brought you something special for dessert, Logan," Jane grins. Logan claps his hands in anticipation, licking his lips. Jane stands and walks over to the white box she had placed on the counter earlier.
"You like cupcakes I hope," she says in a friendly tone, bringing the box over and leaning slightly in front of Logan so he can take his pick. He goes immediately for a rich looking chocolate cupcake with what looks like mint green frosting.
"Whoa, that's pretty big. What do you say we cut it in half?" I suggest, but Logan starts licking the frosting off before Loki can take it from him. I sigh, knowing Logan will be bouncing off the walls until bed time.
"Oooo, that's nice, Lo. What do you say to auntie Jane?" Loki says. Logan puts the cupcake on the table and wipes his mouth on his sleeve. He stares up at Jane before hugging her, barely able to fit his arms around her waist for her pregnant stomach.
"Thank you, auntie Jane," Logan says. He then stares at Jane's stomach.
"And thank you little cousin," he whispers, sure the baby can hear him.
"You're welcome, Logan." Jane smiles genuinely, running her hand through Logan's hair before glancing sweetly between Loki and I. Loki's hand is uncharacteristically warm atop mine where it's resting on the kitchen table. I turn towards him to find him smiling. He kisses my forehead a moment before reaching for his glass of wine.
"Slow down with that, Logan," I say; the boy is stuffing his face with the gourmet cupcake.
"You guys can have the last three. I had one on the way here," Jane explains, sitting back in her chair with what seems like slight difficulty.
"Yay!" Logan shouts, smiling at the thought of having another one.
"I think that's enough sugar for one night, bear, don't you think?" Loki asks. Logan shakes his head in the negative vehemently.
"We'll save them for the weekend," Loki adds, picking up the box.
"Honey, do you want one?" Loki asks, pausing in walking away from the table. I shake my head.
"Brother?" Loki grins.
"Are you kidding me? Bring them here," Thor says and I laugh, "She wouldn't let me have one in the car because I was driving," Thor admits. Loki opens the box for Thor and laughs before bringing it to the refrigerator. Once he finishes the cupcake, Logan runs to the refrigerator to bring Thor and Jane a drawing of them he said he did at school that day. Thor is noticeably larger than Jane, which makes them both laugh.
"And we're all in Asgard," Logan adds enthusiastically. The background is full of clouds and trees, Logan's own imaginary depiction of Asgard.
"That is very good, Logan," Thor says encouragingly, "Looks just like the real thing."
Logan smiles.
"So can I go for vacation?"
"You'll go someday soon. Don't worry. But if you promise to be good for your mom and dad, I might be able to bring you back a souvenir," Thor explains. Logan nods. We migrate to the den to watch Family Feud, Jane talking about her plans to deliver in Asgard and maybe spend some time starting new research there using Asgardian technology. Logan sits in Loki's lap, fidgeting in a hyper manner and calling out random answers to the questions for the game on TV, some of which he gets right. I excuse myself to go and put the leftovers away in the kitchen. I spoon what's left of the stir fry into a Rubbermaid container and stow it in the fridge. The last thing I remember is opening the dishwasher, before I hear Logan scream-crying in a way that jolts me awake. I feel small hands on my cheeks, hear him crying, "Mommy?!" The ground trembles slightly and from my blurred peripheral vision, I can see Loki's legs quickly approaching. Logan's face is out of view then as Jane picks him up and Loki kneels at my side, scooping my head and shoulders up into his arms, a worried look all over his face. He says my name, tells me to look at him. I can hardly keep my eyes open, and it hasn't registered to me what has happened because I'm still so distracted by Logan's cries, despite Jane's attempts to comfort him. I can hear Thor calling for an ambulance, impatiently giving them our address and begging them to hurry. I'm finally able to sit up unassisted, but Loki stops me when I try to stand up, keeping me in his arms.
"Did I just faint?" I ask slightly above a whisper.
"Looks like it." Loki glances over at Thor, Jane, and our son, who has stopped crying audibly and is staring over at me.
"Mommy's fine. It's alright," Loki says to him comfortingly. I brush Loki's arms away and start standing up.
"You shouldn't—"
"No, no, I can…I'm fine," I say, steadying myself on the counter. Loki's hands don't leave my sides as he steadies me protectively.
"I think you should sit down, Misty. Please," Loki pleads. And I walk unsteadily towards the table, where Thor pulls out a chair and turns it to face me so I don't have to walk far.
"What exactly happened?" I ask.
"I heard Logan screaming after he got up to go to the bathroom. He came in here and saw you lying on the floor unconscious," Loki explains quietly to me, not wanting to alarm our son any further than he already is. I shake my head unsurely, feeling a bit dazed. Loki's concerned stare doesn't make me feel any more relaxed. I hear the sirens outside, and Logan starts to cry again. I try to assure the paramedic that I'm fine and that I must have just fainted because of stress, but Loki insists that I go to the hospital just to be sure nothing else is wrong. I can't argue with him when I feel woozy as I try to get up from the table. Logan continues to cry and call for me. Loki tries to comfort him and tells him he's going to go to the doctor with me for a moment. Thor and Jane stay to watch Logan as we ride in the ambulance. Soon after we arrive, they put me on an I.V. of electrolytes. I keep trying to tell Loki that I'm probably just tired and stressed out, but he doesn't allow me to get up and walk around to prove this, because I keep getting lightheaded when I try to stand. I fall asleep with him lying beside me in the bed, waiting for the doctor to come. I wake up to find her taking blood, and Loki is still wide awake. He hasn't stopped watching me since the moment I passed out at our house. I feel him kiss my forehead.
"Logan," I grumble. Loki sits up and fishes his phone out of his pocket.
"I'll check on them."
I can hear Thor's voice on the other line as I press my face into Loki's warm chest.
"Oh," Loki sighs, "That's a relief. I'm surprised he went down at all after that massive cupcake. Sugar gets him really hyper," Loki informs, and I know our son is sound asleep. Thor lets Loki know that he and Jane will be at our place for as long as we need and Loki asks them to make use of the guest room, seeing as it's getting too late for them to make it back to their hotel. The doctor comes back to the room and Loki wakes me up, as I was dozing off again. When I look, I find that the doctor has a smile on her face.
"Alright, Misty. It looks like your hormone levels indicate that you're pregnant," she announces, and Loki sits up straight, his eyes widening a little bit. At that moment, I hope that I'm dreaming, because Logan is a handful enough.
"I'd say almost two months in, considering that that's around the time you said you had your last menstrual cycle. We can do an ultrasound now to make sure everything is alright. You should be good to go home after that, because it looks like you were merely dehydrated," the doctor goes on to explain, before telling us she'll be right back to do the ultrasound, and leaves the room again. Loki turns to look at me. His eyes are a bit watery and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. I had sat up straight at the news, too. It came as a surprise to us both, considering the fact that Logan was a complete surprise, as I'd been told not long ago that I couldn't conceive. After I had Logan, my doctor thought there was no way I'd have another baby. Loki and I stare at each other in disbelief. It startles me when he holds both my hands. He plants a loving kiss on my lips.
"What do you want to do?" Loki asks. I shake my head and stare into space unsurely. Loki pulls his arms around me and kisses my forehead. And then I start crying. I have no idea how to handle the news; I'm not sure whether I'm happy, sad, shocked. I had just gotten this promotion at work, which meant a tighter schedule, more stress, but also a raise. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with being pregnant while trying to find some stable ground in terms of my life; my pregnancy with Logan was difficult, and had kept me on bed rest for the last five months of it. I felt that I barely had enough time for myself as it was. Loki was busy being the CEO of a realtor company, and if it weren't for me having friends as close to me as family, I'd have had to quit working just to take care of Logan. Most days, I wasn't the one picking him up from school. I couldn't imagine how much harder it would be having another baby in the mix. Loki holds me tighter and I just find myself heaving into his chest.
"It's going to be okay, honey," he says reassuringly, "We're going to figure this out…We don't have to right away. You're only two months pregnant."
I shake my head. It's no surprise to me that I was dehydrated; I had been running all over the place after work getting ready to prepare dinner for Thor and Jane. I was surprised I didn't realize I was pregnant; with Logan, I'd gotten severe nausea so it was pretty obvious when I finally heard the news from my doctor. But this time, I'd had no symptoms. I had just assumed that my period was late, because they'd always been irregular and all over the place, particularly during times of stress. Loki is still rubbing my back, shushing me soothingly.
"Oh god…I was drinking," I say fearfully, wiping my eyes and looking up at Loki.
"I'm sure you haven't done much damage. You rarely drink. Tonight was your first glass of wine since the New Year," Loki says comfortingly. And I know he's right.
"Do you want to have this baby, Misty? …You don't have to answer right away." Loki smiles.
I sigh and he smooths some hair out of my face.
"I'm just glad you're okay," he says with relief, pulling me into his arms again, this time much tighter.
"It scared me when I heard Logan screaming, even more when I saw you lying on the floor like that," Loki admits honestly.
"I'm just…this is a huge—"
"Surprise," Loki says, finishing my sentence, "Well, honey, it could've been much worse. I've seen you stressed out, and it doesn't result in you passing out. We need to make sure that our baby is okay." He reaches for my hand and squeezes it, gazing down at my stomach, which really hasn't gotten any bigger in the past two months. My cheeks flush at Loki's words and when I look up at him, there's this faraway longing look on his face as he keeps his eyes fixed down on my stomach.
"We can't keep lying to Logan. He's going to have to learn about his roots sooner or later. And he's getting too smart to keep things like my frost giant lineage a secret," Loki says quietly.
"I know," I whisper.
"He may develop some of my characteristics, he may not. I think we've both been wondering the same thing since he was born," Loki adds, finally looking in my eyes. I caress his beautiful cheek and he holds my palm against it, kissing my wrist and closing his eyes.
"I love you so much, Misty. I just want Logan to grow up knowing that what he is…it's not something to be feared—not with me as a father. I don't want him to feel…different, you know? In bad ways, like I did. He's a good boy. I think we should tell him the truth, about me, about his frost giant blood. If he's got my magic, he'll find it sooner or later."
"I know," I say. "I totally agree. I'm just scared. He's still young, Loki, and he was born here, on earth. As far as we know, he's a human being. I'm not disagreeing with you, I just think we should wait a bit longer, till he's old enough to understand better. To understand that there are some things he can't share with just anyone. I don't want to risk exposing him—or you. It's a cruel world, and people are often treated horribly for being different. I know you know that."
"Of course I know it, sweetheart. But I promise, you don't have to worry about me. I can protect myself, and there's no way I would ever let anything happen to our son. You know that…I've been telling him bedtime stories about Asgard ever since he was born. Besides, Logan knows I have ice breath. I'm sure he understands that that's not a humantrait. He knows not to tell anyone outside of our immediate family about that."
"He told Thor."
"Yes, because he's my brother."
"Yeah, but it could have been someone else, like my mother. You know my family doesn't know everything about you to that extent, Loki." He sighs.
"I don't like lying to our son, Misty, and you know that I'm one to lie for trickery."
I don't say another word, stopping before our conversation becomes a fight.
"I'm sorry," Loki whispers, kissing my forehead again, "I don't want to upset you. Let's talk about this later."
I watch Loki stand there with crossed arms, staring at the monitor as the doctor looks at the fetus.
"Well, everything looks okay. And if you're feeling any better, I'd say you're free to go home, so long as you keep your fluids up. You can schedule a follow up with your OB GYN ASAP, just to have another check up, and I'm sure you know how it all goes from there," the doctor informs. Loki smiles and clasps my hand, not removing his eyes from the screen. I stare at him a moment as the doctor finishes up, and I immediately wonder whether the pregnancy is worth going through. I remember how tough it was the first time, and the threat of complications frightens me. Logan had to be delivered via caesarian section because of some previous complications, and I didn't want to go through the stress of worrying about problems like that again. But the way that Loki smiles causes me to want to go through with it for him. He doesn't have to tell me as we sit in silence holding hands on the cab ride home that he wants this baby; I can see it all over his face and in the way he looks me over every other minute. The drowsiness I feel overcomes me and I fall asleep against Loki's shoulder. I wake up to his beautiful face peering down at me from just outside the cab, a tuft of onyx hair falling into his eye. He starts to lift me up under my arms and I stand to meet him. When we make it into the house, Thor and Jane have fallen asleep on the pull out couch in front of the TV, and it is a little past midnight. I start upstairs immediately to check on Logan. Loki follows right after me, tucking his head in over mine as I peer in through the door of Logan's room. I can see his face sleeping serenely in the light of his night light.
"Poor little guy. He's had such a long week at his new school, then he had to have a traumatizing evening," I say once I've closed his door, "I wish he didn't have to find me like that," I say, starting for our bedroom. Loki follows me closely and when I stand in front of the bureau to start undressing, he wraps his arms around me passionately.
"He's a resilient child. He's stronger than you think. All that matters is that you're okay, and he'll be happy to see you when he wakes up, Misty," Loki says as I grab the scissors and cut the plastic hospital bracelet off my wrist. I lean back against Loki's chest as he holds me, wrapping my hands around his arms.
"I love you. I don't know what I'd do without you," I say before sighing. Loki looks at me in the mirror for a moment before turning me around.
"I know it's late, and we both need to get some sleep, but I just wanted to apologize. I know it was hard enough when you were pregnant with Logan, and I know you don't want to go through that again. This is all my fault, Mis. We should've been better at using protection."
"No, no," I sigh, running my hand down Loki's chest.
"We both thought I couldn't conceive, and bam—Logan happened. But I love him, and I wouldn't change things if I could go back in time. You're both my whole world, Loki…I mean that. I just don't know…" Loki pushes his hands through my hair repetitively.
"I don't feel like this is the right timing," I say, glancing down at my stomach.
"I mean, because we weren't even trying, and I'm scared of the possible complications, like I had before. Sometimes I'd love it if we could have a little girl, but…I don't know," I sigh. Loki massages my hair.
"I'm sorry," he says.
"Stop saying that," I laugh weakly, "It's not like I didn't play a part in this, too."
Loki grins, "Well, we both know that this happened because I can't keep my hands off you," he says, cocking a brow. I laugh and rest my head against his chest. He kisses the top of it. I go to get into the shower and brush my teeth while Loki takes his hamper down to the basement. As I shower, I try to think about what it might be like to go through with this pregnancy. The scar from Logan is still as noticeable as ever, despite my stomach being relatively the same as it was before I got pregnant. Part of me wants to have the baby, for Loki, and the rest of me is terrified at the thought. But Loki has been the perfect husband for the past two years since we got married; we didn't until Logan was three. Things just sort of slowed down once he was born and I wanted to get into the best shape I could before trying on wedding dresses, despite the fact that Loki had kept telling me I looked perfectly fine after I had Logan. I try to clear my head, and when I step out of the shower, Loki is gargling Listerine at the sink. He spits it out as I dry off somewhat slowly, lost in thought. He turns around fully to look at me, already naked for his shower. His body is a work of art, and I just stare for a few seconds while dabbing myself dry.
"You okay, baby?" he asks concernedly.
"Huh? Oh—yeah, I'm just thinking," I sigh. Before I can wrap the towel around myself, Loki grabs onto my hips, his eyes plastered on my caesarian scar. What he does next surprises me. He slowly descends to both knees and kisses my scar, wrapping his arms around me and closing his eyes. All the blood rushes to my face. I reach down and push my hands through Loki's beautiful hair. When his eyes flicker open and look up at me like two green gems, I can't help but melt. His exhale against my abdomen is chilly. He's kissed my scar before, and every time he does it, it feels like some sort of apology for ever getting me pregnant.
"I love you, Misty," he says, gazing up at me once he has detached his mouth from the scar. I push my hands through his hair again, trace down the sides of his face, brush my thumb over his Adam's apple.
"I love you," he says again, brushing his thumbs over my scar and gazing at it with a sort of saudade that makes my heart flutter.
"I know," I whisper. I lean down and kiss Loki's forehead.
"I'm exhausted," I breathe. Loki stands up, taller than me once more, so that he has to look down to meet my eyes.
"Get some sleep," he says before embracing me a moment. I start finding myself not wanting to let go, but I do and leave Loki to his shower. I put lotion on and slip into my pajamas. I fall asleep before Loki makes it back into the room. When I wake up in the morning, Loki is holding me, but someone else is playing with my hair. When a small, cool hand rests upon my forehead, I know that it's Logan. I turn up my gaze to find his eyes—Loki's iridescent emeralds—looking down at me.
"Mommy," he whispers, "Auntie Jane is making breakfast." I realize Logan is whispering because Loki is still asleep. I start to sit up, and subsequently, Loki awakens to find our son sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. I pull him into my arms, guiding him beneath the warmth of the covers. Loki yawns and wraps both long arms around the two of us, and we just sit there a moment, embracing one another. I can smell pancakes being made down in the kitchen. I savor this moment, tucking it deep within my memories for the future.
"My baby."
"I'm not a baby—I'm a five year old boy," Logan contests, laughing beneath my grip. Loki giggles.
"Mommy's just fine now," he says, pulling Logan into his lap to hold him.
"What did the doctor do?" Logan asks curiously.
"They gave her fluids. Mommy was a little dehydrated, which just means she wasn't drinking enough water, so she fainted. But she's alright now, see?" Loki says reassuringly. He doesn't tell Logan that he might have a little brother or sister soon, and it is tacitly understood that this information will remain between the two of us until further notice. Loki cuddles Logan and kisses his cheeks. The boy starts to laugh and play fight with his dad. I smile as I rush into the bathroom to pee. I can still hear them on the outside and I feel a sense of happiness that I haven't felt in a long time.
"Someone's getting really strong, Logan!" Loki says, allowing our son to win, and Logan counts to three before announcing that he's the champion. Loki laughs uncontrollably. As I wash my hands at the sink, I hear Logan's footsteps on the floor before he shouts, laughing some more. When I come out of the bathroom, I find Loki in his PJ pants, throwing our son into the air and catching him repeatedly. Logan is thoroughly enjoying this, but it begins to frighten me, though I know Loki could never drop him, not with his warrior-like reflexes.
"Alright, that's enough. We don't want to break anything," I say, stopping Logan who is about to jump clear off our king size bed into Loki's arms. Logan collapses on the bed, out of breath, smiling. Loki attacks his feet and tickles them.
"Daddy!" Logan screeches, laughing his head off.
"Alright, little bear, let's get changed for breakfast," Loki says, grabbing Logan's hand and leading him toward the door. Loki pauses to give me a thorough kiss on the cheek and I start to get ready myself.
When we are all comfortably around the dining room table, Jane starts talking about a science museum, and Logan asks if he can go. Jane looks to me.
"Well, it is the weekend, and he hasn't got much to do today. So, why not?"
"Ooo, I've got an errand to run," Loki says, taking a glance at his watch, "I completely forgot."
"But I want you to come, too, daddy," Logan whines.
"We can do whatever you want later on, buddy," Loki says, brushing his hand through Logan's hair.
"We were thinking of going ice skating, too," Jane adds, "Maybe you'd like to learn how, Logan?" she asks.
"Ooooo!" Logan shouts, nodding.
"Sounds like a plan. But I do have something that needs to be taken care of at the office, so I don't know if—what time are you guys going to go?" I ask as Loki stands, taking my finished plate to the sink along with his.
"Well, the museum is open now, and I was thinking we'd head out earlier rather than later, so we can make it to the skating rink before they close," Jane explains.
"How about you guys take Logan, and we'll just go get our stuff done and try to meet up with you guys to skate?" I ask. I look at Loki, unsure of what his plans are. He nods, thinking it through.
"I just have to drop off a key with one of my employees. I shouldn't be long," he says.
Logan claps as we draw the plans together.
"Okay, so we'll meet you guys after the museum," I finish. Loki stoops to Logan's height at his chair and Logan gives him a tight hug. I kiss the boy on the cheek and Loki and I start for the door.
"Do you want me to drive you?" Loki asks, wrapping an arm around my waist as we step out the front door.
"How are you feeling this morning? I wouldn't want to be worried about you fainting at the wheel."
"I'm fine. I'm sure. But you might as well, that way I can save gas," I say, grinning. Loki laughs and kisses my temple. I step into Loki's Toyota Highlander and buckle my seatbelt. He turns on the music player and I shiver, buttoning my coat and wrapping my scarf twice around my neck. Loki's coat isn't even zipped. He glances at me apologetically.
"If I'd have known you were coming with me, I would've started the car and turned the heat on," he says, placing his hand on my knee as he backs deftly out of the driveway, staring out the rearview mirror.
"It's okay," I breathe, slipping on my gloves. Debussy meets my ears and I rest my head back and relax as Loki whistles along for a minute to Valse Romantique.
"I've been wanting to show you this really nice house. I was even thinking maybe we could…move. I mean, the market's getting better still and I really like this house—not that there's anything wrong with ours right now," Loki says. I sit up.
"I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to stress you out—don't think about it," he adds, squeezing my knee cap. I smile.
"Now I want to see it," I say somewhat excitedly. Loki stops at a red light and turns to face me.
"It's gorgeous, honey. It's got one of those koi fish ponds. I know how you like natural scenery. The property is pretty sylvan, so it's quiet, the backyard is bigger than ours, there's a ten-foot pool, and I know Logan would love that…"
I get lost in Loki's voice as he talks.
"It's a quaint, Victorian era style house—like some of the ones we saw on vacation in Martha's Vineyard last summer. I know how you liked those."
"Well, now you have to show me this house," I say.
Loki smiles.
"So, let me quickly drop this key with Keith, and then I'll stop by your office."
"Okay. I just need to pick up my camera to develop the film from my photo shoot yesterday. I was in a hurry to leave work, so I completely forgot it," I explain, pushing my fingers through Loki's so that our hands are tightly woven. Loki's free hand remains on the wheel and he pulls mine towards his lips to kiss the back of it, not taking his eyes off the road.
"Have you thought about talking to Logan? While I was helping him get ready today, he kept asking me about Asgard. He really wants to know more, Misty."
"I know. And he has a right to know. But I'm not sure just yet is the time to take him. He's trying to adjust to his new school right now. Loki, I swear, I felt like the worst mother in the world dropping him off Monday morning. We both agreed that this new school has a better reputation, it's closer to home…he wouldn't stop crying about his friends from his old school, asking me why he couldn't stay there. I didn't want to leave him there—it was so hard to leave. I just…felt bad."
When I steal a glance at Loki, he's looking at me sadly.
"You know he's never been used to change. Remember how much he hated sippy cups?" I laugh a moment and Loki smiles, "He'll get used to it. He'll make new friends. Hey, you have nothing to feel badly about," Loki says soothingly, gripping my hand tighter and kissing my cheek at a red light.
"I want him to know more about himself. I want him to understand that he might develop some unique traits, like you, but I just think that right now, whisking him away to Asgard—it would be too much for him to take in. Too many new things all at once. And he's a single child…well, for now. He wouldn't have anyone to talk to about all of it, aside from us, and that worries me with his friends at school."
When I look at Loki again, he's smiling from ear to ear.
"For now?" he asks hopefully, gently. The blood rushes to my face, like it did last night. I sigh and rest my head back against my seat.
"Lo…" I reach out and caress Loki's hair as he turns the corner, at a loss for words.
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm going to be a father all over again, Misty?"
I laugh awkwardly. We finally arrive at the house where Loki's associate is standing on the front porch, talking on the phone. When I get out of the car, Loki is quick to rush around the boot to come and swoop me up into his arms. I feel my feet leave the ground and Loki plants kisses all over my face before letting me stand on my own. His eyes are watery, but the smile plastered on his face reads only joy.
"Misty, are you sure this is what you want? I don't want either of us to feel like you're just making this decision for me."
I nod, wiping a tear from my eye, "I just…sometimes I dream about a little girl, and I thought, maybe that's what this is," I whisper, resting my hands over my abdomen. Loki kisses me and we stand there oblivious to the world until Keith calls Loki's name. He turns around, a bit disheveled, fishing a key out of his pocket and meeting his employee halfway up the steps of a Georgian colonial type of house. I sigh and rest back against the car as Loki exchanges a few words with Keith, who waves over at me. I wave back. Loki starts back to the car and pulls the door open for me, his pleasant smile returning. We drive to my office and I grab my camera.
"Logan's going to be so excited," Loki says into my ear, cornering me at my desk, and I shiver as I feel his lips on the side of my neck.
"When do you think we should tell him about the baby, or anyone, for that matter?" Loki whispers. There are a few people in the office today, and I can't help but notice some of the stares I get as people pass my office window. I know they're looking at Loki. I shove some papers into a file, organizing my desk and shrugging. Loki kisses my neck again.
"If you don't stop that…" I say, grinning.
"Hmmm, I've never taken you in here before," Loki says mischievously, lowering his voice to just above a whisper.
"No," I say, leaning my head forward and away from Loki's kisses, "Down, boy."
Loki laughs. He plants savoringly sweet kisses down the back of my neck and I literally drop my stapler and close my eyes just to revel in his touch. There's a small knock on my open door and Loki's lips pause.
"Misty?" One of my least favourite coworkers is standing at the doorway, leering in at Loki and I. He clears his throat and stands up straight, though I can tell he's not happy to be interrupted. Brittany stares at Loki as I casually continue to organize the messy state I left my desk in for most of the week. I glance back at Brittany and she smiles.
"He's cute. Where'd you find him? Tall, too. We could use another male model for spring's swimsuit spread."
I narrow my eyes angrily with my back still turned. Loki laughs, and I know he's going to have fun with this bitch.
"Flattering," he says in a seductive voice, "But I'm not sure my wife enjoys me being objectified," he adds in just as hypnotic a tone. I turn to glance at Brittany's stupid I-done-fucked-up expression as she smiles crookedly. Loki laughs again and Brittany follows suit nervously.
"Wife! Oh I didn't know you were married, Misty. I thought you just had a kid. Well, I just—I just wanted to say that your, uhm, that new lens you ordered came in. Farrah wanted me to let you know—I mean, I was supposed to bring it to you—" Brittany stutters, taking a nervous step out of the doorway. I lean on one hand against the table.
"Well, that's great! Thanks!" I say with the fakest enthusiasm that I almost make myself laugh. Brittany spares Loki the once over again, knowing it's the last time she will ever look at him like that without getting slapped.
"But I honestly wouldn't mind being in a swimsuit spread," Loki says, and for a moment, I'm not sure whether he's teasing me or not. I slap his chest playfully.
"Is that the one who started the rumor about Logan having a deadbeat for a dad?" Loki asks, his eyes narrowing angrily. In the past, I'd had to take Logan to work with me a handful of times before we'd found him the proper sitter, and Brittany, for some reason beyond me, felt the need to start up falsities about me and my son. Loki trembles slightly for a moment, glaring through my office window at Brittany, who is walking away stupidly.
"Mhmm," I mumble uninterestedly.
"Do you want me to trip her for you?" Loki asks. As I glance over at him, I know he's serious.
"Well, I wouldn't mind if—" and I watch Loki's pale hand wave. Although Brittany is out of view, I hear her screaming and a subsequent crash follows. I didn't think Loki would seriously do it. He laughs through his nose and I rush to the door to find Brittany's legs in the air in a pile of mail that an intern had been carting past. Somebody sticks their head out of their cubicle to see what all the commotion is about. I glance at Loki with an open mouth, in some disbelief.
"What? She had it coming. No one talks about my son like that without consequence."
"I cannot believe you just did that," I say, fighting a smile.
Loki shrugs nonchalantly.
"It's nothing. She'll just have a few paper cuts," he assures me with a wicked grin. I still fight my smile, not wanting to encourage Loki's uncouth behaviour, but I know he hears the small laugh that escapes my mouth when I start back to my desk. I hear the door close and the lock clicks, and then the shade falls. I pull open a drawer and try to ignore Loki as best I can.
"You are the fire of my loins," Loki hisses, and I feel a breeze as he makes his way towards me. I try my best not to get aroused, but I find myself unsuccessful as Loki breathes down my neck, gnawing at it gently.
"I think we need a little we time," he whispers, "I don't feel like I've had a thorough chance to be alone with you all week."
I laugh and lean back into him.
"We go to sleep in the same bed every night. What are you talking about?"
Loki squeezes me so that I can no longer focus on my desk.
"That's what I meant, sleep. I want to make love," Loki grumbles.
He litters my neck with kisses and I close the drawer.
"But only if you're feeling well. Are you?" Loki asks me seriously, letting go so I can turn around.
"Perfect, thankfully. I was extremely nauseous with Logan for the entire first trimester."
"Oh, you don't have to remind me," Loki says with a sorry smile. He caresses my hair a moment before kissing my lips, letting his tongue dip into my mouth, simultaneously pressing his body into mine to make me sit upon my desk, maneuvering his hands under my knees to pull my legs around his waist. I press against his chest.
"Not here," I whisper, "You know I can't be quiet and that bitch has a big mouth," I add, and Loki knows I'm talking about Brittany.
"Besides, we should meet up with Thor and Jane ASAP, so that Logan gets to spend some time with us before the day is over. He'll be really upset if we don't at least skate with him."
Loki nods, "Okay. But later, you're mine," he says possessively, and my neck and cheeks alight with feverish blood. I laugh and grab my camera, and Loki grips my waist as we leave my office. As we pass Brittany, who is helping the intern pick up the mail she fell into, Loki makes a point to kiss my cheek lingeringly, and I glance out of the corner of my eyes to find Brittany ogling Loki like she's jealous of me, and my heart dances.