Best Served Cold
Disclaimer: Don't own The General or his Rebel Boys.
The Duke boys were having some harmless fun. The newly minted legal driver, Luke Duke, was enjoying the newfound freedom and power of his rebuilt yellow muscle car. The broken radio, that he hadn't gotten around to fixing, was replaced by the constant chatter and occasional coughing of his co pilot and partner in crime. His baby cousin, Bo Duke, had become unbearable to the whole family, in his recent stir crazy state. Consequently Uncle Jesse finally lifted Bo house arrest in his illness recovery. Alleviating Luke's concerns by telling the older boy, "If he's well enough to make us all batty; he's well enough to drive around in a heated car."
They had spent the afternoon dragging main, hot rod racing any willing motor on wheels, and escaping from the sheriff's clutches each time he gave a half-hearted chase, for them disturbing the peace. The weather had entered a cold snap; making it miserable to even step outside for close to a fortnight. Which was the cause of the pre teen's recent battle with pneumonia. Once Bo was well enough to complain, he wanted be up and out of bed. And being a Duke he ended up in a fast car and probably headed for trouble.
Eggs splattered against the car windows. Luke let out a curse as the windshield wipers just smeared the quickly freezing mess across the glass. They could hear a Hogg's loud laughter but they couldn't make out the car, through the gunked up windows, as it raced away.
Luke rolled down his window, forbidding Bo to do so, his dark head leaned out as he maneuvered the yellow car to Cooter's family garage. The cold didn't stop him from cursing the whole way. Hitting the brakes only to yell at Bo get his head back in the car and to roll up the passenger window.
Luke left the heater running as he went in search of some water and rags. Barking out an order "Bo, stay in the car!" He had to physically push the boy back into his seat as he washed the egg off before it could freeze in the frigid weather. Bo was a contrary cuss. Getting him up to do chores was like getting a mule to walk. But the second he was told not to do something he was all for it.
Luke held his numb fingers in front of the vent trying to get enough feeling back into them to drive. He was frozen stiff but his temper was warming him up much faster then the car heater. He was miserable and cold and revenge was a dish best served cold. First he needed to get some eggs.
"You better not even be thinking about taking any of my eggs," Bo startled, not even noticing the older girl at the kitchen table. Daisy didn't even look up from her homework.
"I'd never do that," he tried to sound innocent. His cousin just gave him a look. He slinked out of the house empty handed, with his tail between his legs. He kicked a rock in the yard watching it dejectedly. Too bad they couldn't use rocks instead of eggs. Luke almost didn't let him go get the eggs, he had to beg and promise to be quick. Now he'd have to go back to the car with no eggs. The older boy would never let him hear the end of it. He wasn't supposed to stay outside but he couldn't go to the car and he couldn't go back in the house.
He slumped his shoulders against the cold and disappointment and headed for the barn, trying to come up with something to use for payback. Leaning against one of the doors he heard a nearly silent plop. Looking down he saw a perfectly formed steaming cow pie. With a wicked smile he grabbed an empty bag. He had a plan and it was infinitely better than eggs.
"Where's the eggs?" Luke asked impatiently as the younger boy slid into the passenger seat.
Bo looked down and mumbled sheepishly, "Daisy caught me."
"Oh, Bo, you idiot. You weren't supposed to let her see you."
"I got something even better," Bo let out a mischievous giggle as he carefully handed over the loaded bag.
"Shit! What's that smell?" Luke pushed the smelly bag back over to his cousin.
"Exactly!" Both boys broke out in evil grins.
As Luke pealed out of the driveway Bo let out a rebel yell. They were on the hunt. Revenge wasn't going to be served cold this time. It was going to be warm and revolting.
A/N This story is based on an experience my dad had as a teenager. The owner of the car that got cowpied failed to clean it off and it started to eat the paint off the car. I'd like to think this happened in this story as well. Don't try it at home kids.