In case you didn't know, Un Lun Dun is an amazing book by China Mieville.
And now the characters will take the semeuke test.
Deeba got out her laptop.
"Hey Hemi, check this out!" She called. Hemi ran over.
"What?"
". It tells you what kind of seme or uke you are. I'm gonna take it."
"Okay..."
"Do you enjoy licking things? No, not really.
Have you ever bought hair dye for yourself? It's not really my thing.
Have you ever tied someone up? Can't you hear the begging from the other room?
Have you ever been tied up? Some have tried, none have lived. *evil smirk*
What kind of shoes do you wear? Canvas sneakers .
Would you feel guilty for taking advantage of someone? Of course. I'd do my best to make it up to them.
Your weapon of choice? Gun.
Do you have any piercings? *unclips fake ear piercing* Umm...
Alcohol? Well, I've never tried it...
What kind of vehicle do you drive? I take the bus.
How do you eat your ice cream? Um... in a cone?
What gift would you give to your partner? Candy or a plushie.
What's your ideal pet? Um, a turtle, or a dog, or ferrets are cool too...
How do you order at a restaurant? Tell them what I want.
The server brings you the wrong food. What do you do? Eat my partner's food.
You catch someone checking out your partner. You: Think about what I'm going to eat for dinner.
Your dream occupation: Private detective.
What's your favourite accessory? My weapon.
What costume would you wear to a masquerade? I'd be a cat. I already have the furry kitty ears!
What kind of music do you listen to? Rock.
Do you usually find yourself on top or bottom? *laughing my ass off*
Done!"
Deeba clicked on Submit to your fate.
"None of that is you." Hemi remarked.
"Yeah, well, it was closest." She shot back angrily. "Okay.
You are a Innocent Uke!
Cute and sweet, and most gentle of all uke, whips and chains are not for you - you just want someone to love you. You are often spotted in candy shops wearing furry kitty ears, where you are sure to be noticed by the Romantic Seme, whose protective instincts will kick in and will only want to take you home and love and protect you. And you, of course, will be more than happy to spend the rest of your life baking cookies for your seme.
What the hell?"
Hemi was laughing.
"You take it!" Deeba thrust the computer at him.
"Okay, fine." Hemi took it.
"What the hell's wrong with you, *death glare*, sometimes if I see my partner sleeping, the temptation is too great to pass up, wanna die, dress shoes, shit happens, the shards of glass that pierce my soul are all I have left-"
"Whoah, emo much?" Deeba laughed.
"Shut it. Anyway. *grins and sticks out tongue*, wanna make a bet, I take the bus, let it melt and slowly lick it as it drips down the cone-"
"You perv!"
"Goddammit, Deeba, did I harass you?"
"Hehe, harass."
"I hate you. Myself, a German Shepherd, or something else big and badass, introduce myself to the server and ask what they would recommend, call the server a freaking idiot, and then get drunk waiting for them to bring my right order, while my partner laughs their ass off, Smile, introduce yourself, and then slip out back to set their car on fire. S-"
"Ooh! I know this! Stalker!"
"-omething thrilling and maybe not quite legal. This cool boar tooth necklace that I won in a poker game. Something freaky that would scare the crap out of people. Rock. You're trying to mock me, aren't you? *dark glare*"
"And you thought my answers were off."
"Sure.
You are a Chibi Seme
You are the seme in disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it takes the flamboyant Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are.
Ha! At least I'm a seme." Hemi looked smug.
"Whatever. Let's see the relationships." Deeba clicked on relationships. "Chibi seme. Okay..."
"Innocent Uke - This seme and uke have more of a kohai/sempai relationship - the Innocent Uke looking to the wiser Chibi Seme for advice, though the sometimes teasing advice of the Chibi Seme often leads the Innocent Uke into trouble." Hemi read.
"Hey guys, what are you doing?" Zanna ran over.
"We're taking the semeuke quiz!"
So next up is Zanna, and then Obaday. Then Jones, cause he's cool. And maybe that book, too. We'll see!