Puh-leeeease don't hate me for not updating 50WTSYGYLH (50 Ways to Show Your Girlfriend You Love Her)! I just got this idea when I was sitting in language arts class today. Dedicated to my friend (who will not be named) who left for his trip to India a few days ago. I'll miss you!
Disclaimer: I do not own SWAC or '10 Things I Hate About You'
10 Things I Hate About You
I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
"Shut up, Sonny. You know that you're falling for me." Chad smirked coolly at the brunette that stood fuming in front of him.
Sonny didn't return with her usual witty remark. "You know what Chad? Just…forget it. You don't know how to talk to anyone properly, do you? See you later."
The blonde actor sat on his plush sofa staring at the retreating actress and wondering how he could have such perfect hair and perfect eyes but not have the perfect girl.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
Sonny awoke to the sound of Italian golf shoes hitting the floor leading to her dressing room. Yep. Chad Dylan Cooper. Sure enough, the egotistical drama snob poked his head of amazingly lush blonde hair (even Sonny had to admit that his hair was wonderful) into her dressing room.
"Sonny? I need your car."
"Because…"
Chad looked at her like she was insane for even questioning his motives. "Because I need a ride and my car is in the shop."
Sonny, being the generous girl she was, nodded hesitantly. "Fine, but be careful and if I see one scratch on that thing, you will-"
The drama snob cut her off. "And you call me materialistic," he muttered.
A few hours later, Sonny's phone rang. It was her mother.
"Sonny? You need to sit down for this one. Turn on to channel 6."
The comedienne did as she was told, eyes widening as she ran through the possibilities of what could be happening. As the Prop House TV flickered to life, she could see a young Asian girl in a bright red suit fiddling with papers at the news desk.
"This just in," she stated professionally. "TV's Chad Dylan Cooper of Mackenzie Falls fame was involved in a car accident at 6:04 this evening. Witnesses report that Cooper swerved to avoid a pedestrian and crashed into an oncoming car in the process. Word on his condition has not been released; however police officers say that he is being treated at Hollywood Medical Center."
Sonny's breaths became much faster with every crisp word that fell out of the reporter's mouth. Her phone clattered to the floor, leaving her mother to worry on the other end. As soon as she composed herself enough to walk, she ran straight to the bus stop, not even bothering to turn off the TV. Twenty minutes later, she found herself walking through the automatic doors of Hollywood Medical Center, panicked eyes surveying the lobby nervously.
"Sonny Munroe," she breathed to a passing nurse. "Here for Chad Dylan Cooper." With one glance at the anxious girl, the nurse nodded and led her down a long hallway.
"He's awake, sweetie."
Sonny bit her lip and tiptoed into the room. Chad looked very much fine, with only a bandage wrapping around his head to show for the accident, but she still felt tense as she found her way to his bedside.
"Sonny?" Chad stared questioningly at his new visitor.
"Oh my gosh! Thank goodness you're okay!"
The injured actor smiled arrogantly. "So you heard about the crash, Munroe?"
It could've been the way that Chad phrased that statement. Or maybe it was the way that his tone did not at all match that of a normal car accident victim. Regardless, something inside Sonny Munroe snapped as soon as he said that.
"You got me all worried and upset for nothing! I skipped So Random to see you and you don't even say thank you? And my car's a wreck too! I'm out of here. Chad." Her voice was laced with venom and pain. Feel better,
A young doctor watched as Sonny stormed out of the hospital, gripping her purse so tightly that her knuckles had paled. "He screwed up bad…"
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind
"Check out that mermaid!"
"Check out her mermaid tail!"
"Check out her mermaid hair!"
"Check it out dance?"
"Check it out dance!"
Sonny and Tawni danced around the grocery store themed set of So Random, practicing their latest version of the "Check it Out Girls" sketch. All of a sudden, Chad Dylan Cooper appeared from behind a prop, sporting his usual arrogant grin and an unusual look- a tour guide's outfit complete with binoculars and sturdy boots.
"Chad? What are you wearing?"
The three named jerk looked down, inspecting his dorky beige shirt. "I'm promoting my new energy bar. It brings out the beast in you!"
Sonny giggled. "Uh huh. That's nice. Well I just-"
Chad cut her off. "-wanted to tell me how hot I looked in the tour guide gear. I know, Sonny. I know."
"That's not what I was going to say."
"But it's what you thought."
The comedienne scrunched up her face. "No, it's not."
"Sure, Munroe…sure…" With that, Chad ducked out of the So Random filming area, a sly smirk spreading across his face.
I hate you so much that it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme
"Chad Dylan Cooper!" Sonny stomped into Chad's dressing room without even knocking, a first for the polite young actress.
"That's my name, Munroe. Don't wear it out."
"Why, Chad, did I wake up from a nap to find that my hair was BLUE?" The usually well-humored girl angrily gestured to her hair, now a pretty shade of cerulean.
"I was bored and the rest of your cast was busy. I needed something to do."
Sonny grimaced. "I hate you more that my horrible stepdad Lou. And Lou stole every penny of what I earned from my first two years at So Random!"
Chad bit his lip at the sight in front of him. "You just rhymed," he stated simply.
The comedienne went over her words once more and nodded. "Yeah, I just did. BUT I DON'T CARE!" Her fiery attitude returned once more. "Just fix the problem!"
"Shampoo for five minutes and then condition well."
Sonny considered retaliating, but decided against it. She would have to leave Chad alone for now. Until she could prank him, that is.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie
Sonny knew that it would be a bad idea to waste 75 cents on an issue of Tween Weekly magazine. But seeing the old man selling the magazines stand out in the cold made her heart ache, and she just had to buy a copy. The decision came back to haunt her, however, when she saw the title story. "Chad Dylan Cooper and Janina Braveson- "Chanina confirmed" As soon as she got to work, she headed straight for the Mackenzie Falls makeup room, where she knew Chad would be (not that she followed him around or anything…).
"What is this?"
Chad looked up from his mirror. "Me on the cover of Tween Weekly-again!"
The brunette curled her lips into a snarl. "That's not what I meant, Chad. I mean, who is this girl?"
"Uh…no one?"
"Come on, Chad. I've seen you with Janina. Don't lie to me."
"Okay. Fine. Janina is my new girlfriend, I admit it. But why do you even care?
It was Sonny's turn to hesitate. "Er, I just do. You're my friend, so I care."
Chad's lips twisted into a knowing smile. "I know what's going on. Little Miss Munroe is jealous of the beautiful Janina Braveson. You loooooooove me Sonny. You know you do."
"I can solemnly swear, Chad, that I do not love you at all. In fact, I don't even care. Date her if you want."
Little did Sonny know that Chad was so, so right.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
"You, Sonny Munroe, are the perkiest, most annoying, diva that I know. The world would be happy if you just died!"
As soon as these acid tinged words came flying out of Chad's mouth, he wanted to pick them up off the ground and stuff them back in.
"Uh…I'll just-" Sonny ran out of the cafeteria in tears, leaving a very guilty blonde actor in her wake. The two stars were having their daily banter about god-knows-what and then Chad just had to get the last word. This had officially gone too far.
"Sonny! Wait up!" He sprinted after the sobbing girl, catching up to her with ease (those hours in the gym aren't for nothing, you know).
"G-Go away, Ch-Chad. I-I was wrong-g. You do-You do hate me."
"No Sonny, I could never hate you. I didn't mean it."
Sonny's face contorted into a doubting scowl. "Yes you did. I'm a stupid Random, after all."
"But you're my stupid Random."
Sonny didn't know whether to laugh or cry. That was the way it was with Chad. You never knew.
I hate the way you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
"Where is he?"
Sonny Munroe and Tawni Hart were lounging in their dressing room eating chicken wings, their usual post-show routine. The two girls were currently peering over Sonny's cow print phone, anticipating a call from the "greatest actor of our generation", Chad Dylan Cooper, who was currently en route back to Hollywood from Miami where he was vacationing.
"Sonny, why do you care? He's Chad, for God sakes. Do you like him or something?"
The dark-haired girl cocked her head in thought, trying to answer that question truthfully without confessing her undying love for Chad Dylan Cooper.
"Well, not really. But ever since he crashed my car I've been…tense, I guess. I mean, if he, you know, left us, we'd all kinda miss him, right?"
The more extravagantly dressed of the two shook her head. "You are in love, girl! Do not even think about denying it."
"I'm not even going to answer that. Now let's focus on the real problem. Where could Chad be…"
Tawni watched with raised eyebrows as she watched Sonny pace around the room for the next three hours, contemplating whether or not to file a missing persons report about Chad (who turned out to be sleeping at home). "And she says she's not in love."
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
"Sonny, will you go out with me?"
After a particularly long rendition of "Fine, fine, good, good," those fateful seven words came right out of Chad's mouth. He didn't know why. But something about Sonny's beautiful face (she's so cute when she's mad) and her sarcastic smile made him want to kiss her right then and there. Considering that smooching a girl that you're arguing with would be very weird, asking her out was the best that Chad could do.
"Ex-excuse me? I could've sworn that you just asked me out." Sonny tried to contain the anticipation that was bubbling in her stomach.
"I did. So, do you want to go out with me?"
The brunette bit her lip. "Well, Chad, I hate you. You don't know how to talk to me, you obsess over your hair, you crashed my car, you stare at me and it's very creepy, you're boots are stupid, you read my mind-"
Chad winced. "So…no?"
"I'm not done. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you never call, and you're never around."
The actor turned around to leave, thoroughly discouraged. "Uhh, okay. I'll see you around, umm, bye."
"Wait." He stopped, hoping that by some miracle Sonny had changed her mind. "You didn't let me finish. The thing that I hate the most about you is that I could never hate you. Not even a little bit. Not even at all."
Chad's smile grew. "You will go out with me, right?"
"Of course. I'll see you at 8:00?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
It was bad, I know. But it was the kind of thing where I couldn't get the idea to go away until I finished it. Sorry about any grammatical or spelling errors! They sometimes slip through.