"Swan, where's your 1095 form?"
"What's that?" She didn't even bother looking away from the TV. She could hear him already rifling through the stack of paperwork he'd meticulously sorted. What was the point of having a best friend slash next door neighbor who was an accountant if you couldn't con him into doing your taxes? Not that it ever took that much. She could swear he almost enjoyed it every year, making sense of her jumbled life.
"It's the form you get from your health insurance company as proof of coverage. I haven't seen it anywhere. Did they send it, love? Need it to complete this section."
The bile in her stomach gurgled. Oh, that form, she thought. The one she most definitely did not have, as she also most definitely didn't have health insurance.
"Um," she stalled as she tried to figure out how to tell the ultra-responsible, supremely uptight, insanely conscientious man currently sorting her financial life that she kind of skipped this step of adulthood.
But he beat her to it.
"Swan." His head dropped to his hand. He already knew the answer and she could hear the exasperation in his voice. "Please tell me you have health insurance?"
"Look, I meant to get it. I just kind of forgot about it." He still hadn't lifted his head up from his hand and she could hear his sigh. "How bad is it going to be? Give it to me straight."
She'd joined him at the table, and seated herself next to him in order to peer over his shoulder at the screen of his laptop. Trying to get a glimpse of the numbers to figure out what she might owe, she put her head on his arm and took control of the mouse. "Please tell me this number isn't it. Please?"
"No, love. That's the number BEFORE I tell them you failed to follow the new laws. It will be much worse in a moment."
Her eyes bugged out. It wasn't that she couldn't afford to pay the penalty. She'd known she was supposed to get health insurance as part of the new health insurance regulations, or face a stiff fine come tax time. Killian had even warned her of it earlier. It was one of the things she needed to do being self-employed. But she didn't want to. Emma Swan was exceptionally good at two things when it came to her finances: making money and saving it. Growing up poor could do that to a person. Spending money on health insurance didn't seem like a necessity. Growing up without it hadn't been an issue. Why would she need it now?
"Can't you just…" She didn't even get to finish the sentence before he cut her off.
"No, Swan. I'm not going to lie on your taxes." She didn't always walk on the right side of the law. Growing up in and out of foster homes could do that to a person, too. "What's the point of having me do your taxes if you're just going to ask me to cheat on them for you?"
"Fine. But you're buying dinner tonight," she replied, as they both heard the doorbell ring indicating their food's arrival.
"I always buy dinner," he called to her as she walked to the door. She could practically hear him roll his eyes as she pulled cash from his wallet to give the delivery person, and returned to the table with their Chinese.
"So, what's my damage?" She asked, cracking open a fortune cookie as she tossed him his. It had been a tradition started many years before, eating their cookies first.
"$3,206 federal. $1,253 state."
She whistled. It was a lot, but she had it.
"You know if you'd just get better about saving receipts you could write more off as business expenses, Swan. I can't make it up because if you get audited we'd both be in trouble."
"I know, I know. I'll do better this year. I promise."
"You say that every year." He said in exasperation breaking his cookie open as well. She really did say that every year. In 8 years of doing her taxes, she'd never managed to keep enough receipts to take more than the standard deduction. He tried working a little magic, but to no avail. She always owed.
She shrugged, and finally looked at the scrap of paper in her hand. 'Wealth awaits you very soon.' Well, here's to the first crock of shit fortune for the night," she said, laughing. "Now you."
He looked down at the paper and read silently. "Come on, Killian. You know the deal. We have to read them… Out loud."
"You are extremely loved. Don't worry." She realized quickly the brief sadness that had crossed his face as he read. She remembered the fierce brunette who had left Killian so many years ago, nearly snuffing out his happiness as she closed the door. It was so rare for him to ever be sad over her, she thought he had gotten past it, but apparently not. What she would do to this woman if she were to see her again. Leaving this wonderful man so broken. She grabbed his hand and squeezed, resting her head on his shoulder again. "You are extremely loved, Killian. By me. I mean, maybe not like that. But you are loved. I don't know what I'd do without you."
She could almost hear the smile cross his face, but she knew it had a tinge of sadness. "Thank you, love." He pressed a kiss into her hair. "And now that's enough of ridiculous fake Chinese confections. My Lo Mein please."
"PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP."
"SWAN" he had to practically scream over the sound of her yelling at him on the other end of the phone. "I've picked up. Now please explain why you're yelling."
As soon as she continued to speak he cursed himself for being so harsh with her. The pain in her voice was evident with her first words. "I fell, well not fell, but I was chasing a skip and he ran, and threw something at me and I tripped and I'm pretty sure my ankle is broken and I need you to come get me and take me to the doctors."
"Where are you? It might be faster for you to call an ambulance and tell me what hospital to meet you at."
"Corner of Fletcher and Park. And no, you need to come get me. Please, Killian."
He could hear her almost about to break into tears, and didn't want to push her, but was so angry. He knew the answer before he even asked the question.
"And why do I need to come get you, Emma Swan?"
"You know why. Just come get me now."
He hung up on her without even acknowledging the situation. Of course she'd never gotten health insurance. Oh, he knew she probably would have started to look at it, but the monthly premiums would have been money that Emma Swan could have seen going into her savings account, and she would have just shoved the forms into the bin and said she'd deal with it on another day.
He could have killed her, he thought, as he drove to pick her up. He knew her story and knew that not having money scared her. That saving every penny was a compulsion. It's why, even after however many years in her shitty apartment, she'd never moved. They were both able to afford much nicer places now. But Emma wouldn't move because anyplace else would have meant higher rent and less being squirreled away. And Killian wouldn't move because it would mean not living next door to Emma Swan.
She'd entered his life right when he needed her most. The first month of her residence, they shared nothing more than her acknowledgment of his apology after any night's fight had grown too loud. After he and his girlfriend called it quits for good, her abandoning the apartment in the middle of the day without a word, it was Emma who offered the first bit of friendship, by way of a bottle of rum and an understanding ear. It didn't take long for him to realize that everything his relationship had been missing could be found right next door. Over the years she'd encouraged him to get back on that horse again, to find love, but he couldn't tell her he already had.
When he finally arrived and saw her sitting on the street corner, silent tears in the corners of her eyes, all of his anger faded. She was in pain, and as usual, his only response was to help in any way he could. He loaded her into his car and drove to the ER, waiting at the drop off zone until someone came out with a wheelchair to take her in. By the time he had parked and returned, he knew where she was by the sound of her raised voice arguing with the triage nurse.
"I'm in pain and you're making me fill out paperwork? Just let me see the damn doctor."
"Miss, I'm going to need you to fill out this insurance paperwork before we can take you back. Plus there are other people ahead of you. Please fill out this paperwork while you wait."
He got to her just as she was trying to rise from the wheelchair, as though she were going to make a statement and barge out of the ER in protest. Both her ankle and Killian stopped her.
"Swan, sit down. Nurse, I'll take both her and these forms off your hands. Do I bring them back to you when they're complete? Yes? Thank you."
He wheeled her away before the confrontation could get any uglier, and installed Emma in front of the TV. When he finished with the paperwork, he finally turned to her and pulled her leg up into his lap to assess the swollen appendage.
"Emma," he said, as he flexed her foot, quickly ascertaining it was nothing more than a sprain, "why didn't you get health insurance? You know it's just as expensive to not have it as it is to get it?" Still holding her foot and leg, he rubbed her shin, hoping his touch would be comforting as he questioned her.
She closed her eyes and swallowed, half to alleviate the pain in her ankle, half to prepare herself for the forthcoming admission. "I did look into it, Killian. But then I got the quotes on the premiums. I figured I could just save the money and pay the penalty again, and if I didn't get hurt I would come out ahead."
She finally opened her eyes and looked at him, clearly embarrassed by her actions. Emma knew that she often scrimped and saved in places where it didn't make sense, but she couldn't help it. Spending money, especially large sums of money, made her nervous. She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Killian."
"What are you apologizing to me for, Swan? You don't need to apologize to me."
"I'm a mess. And you're here taking care of me when you should be at work. Thank you."
"It's what friends are for, love. But don't think you've heard the last of this, I assure you."
After several hours, which did nothing to improve Emma's mood, she was finally seen by the doctor. She confirmed Killian's suspicion that the ankle was merely sprained, but not until an x-ray was performed, all while Emma Swan protested.
"An X-ray? And how much will this cost me?"
"Much more than it would have if you'd just gotten the damn insurance, I assure you."
"Your boyfriend is correct Ms. Swan. You should really have health insurance."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Yes, so my accountant here keeps telling me."
The doctor looked back and forth between the arguing couple, confused by the dynamic. Clearly she missed something.
Finally Emma was released with a meager supply of painkillers, a set of crutches, and instructions for ice, rest and elevation.
"See, Killian, I'm not going to be able to chase anyone down for a few weeks. Looks like that savings account will come in handy right about now."
"YOU STILL NEED HEALTH INSURANCE, SWAN." Her need to be right was absolutely infuriating, especially when she was desperately trying to justify something on which she was so clearly wrong. "I'm not saying it's not important to save money. But it's false economy. Should I get you one of my textbooks?"
She rolled her eyes and plopped back on the couch. "You think you're so smart."
He raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "You know I am. Chinese or pizza? I'll let you pick since you're injured. But you're paying. Think of it as punishment."
"SWAN." She heard him bellow as he barged in through the front door. It was the middle of a day on a Tuesday, and he wasn't usually home.
"Jesus, Killian. The apartment is not that big. You don't have to yell."
"Get your coat. Grab your ID. We're heading to City Hall and getting married."
She'd stopped dead in her tracks. There was no response to that. Nothing in any conversation they had ever had would have explained his statement. But there he was, announcing their impending nuptials as though it was matter of fact. Nothing in his demeanor showed that he would allow for any discussion in the matter.
Rather than fight, she decided to just question. "What do you mean?"
"You need health insurance. My spouse receives free, exceptional health insurance through my company. We get married. You're my spouse. You get health insurance."
"This isn't Vegas, Killian. We can't just show up and get married."
"And that's why I sent off for a marriage license after your little accident a few weeks ago. Came in the mail to my office today. We're getting married, and getting you insurance. You can afford the tax penalty. You can afford a sprained ankle. But what if something serious were to happen, Emma? You don't know what's around the corner. You could have a bloody brain tumor and then where would you be?"
"But, Killian.."
"No buts, Swan. Now."
His commanding demeanor coupled with the concern in his voice stopped any argument she could have made. If this were anyone else but Killian, she would have to admit she found his forcefulness attractive. But, and she shook herself, this was Killian.
She had no argument, not really. She would be getting free healthcare out of the arrangement. And it wasn't like she was planning on getting married ever. She wasn't standing in Killian's way of marrying. Ever since his girlfriend had walked out the door the month after she moved in next door, he'd been completely closed to the idea of dating anyone else. Any time she broached the subject, he cut her off saying he wasn't interested.
Someday he'd get over his heartbreak and change his mind. Emma always wondered what would happen when that day came. She didn't worry that she'd lose the person who made sure she ate properly. Or the man who did her taxes. Or who gave her rides when her ancient car was on the fritz. She worried that she'd lose the one person in her entire life who had ever understood her and accepted her for who she was. And now he was standing in front of her insisting that she marry him. Demanding that she allow him to take care of her, permanently.
Of course she would provide him with the necessary divorce when the day came that there was another woman in Killian's life, but right now, she had no desire to deny him.
Nodding in silent agreement, she grabbed her purse and followed him wordlessly out the door.
She worried that things would change. But beyond Killian making her get a physical for the first time she could remember since early childhood, absolutely nothing did. They still ate their dinners together on the couch if they were at her place, the table if it they were at his. They still argued over who got to pick what they watched. They still spent half their days at work texting each other, griping about her boredom and his co-workers. He still kept her company when she was stuck on a dull stakeout. Not one thing changed.
Until the night Killian showed up, her favorite from the Italian place in hand, grimace already in place.
"There's a slight hitch in this whole plan, love."
Considering nothing had changed, it took Emma a moment to even figure out what he could have been referring to.
He smiled, unpacking her chicken piccata, and she stared him down, not saying a word. He would need to speak first.
"Well, you know Belle, in HR? I think you met once at the movies. Anyway, she's the one who put through the paperwork to add you to my insurance. And she asked me how married life was treating me. In front of Mr. Gold. Who now wants to meet you. He says he takes an active interest in all of their young partner's lives. It's just dinner at his house for one night. I'll owe you. I swear, Swan. Please?"
"I'm saving thousands of dollars and all I have to do is go to your boss' house and pretend to be married to you, and you think you owe me?" She raised her eyebrow, a trick she'd picked up from him over the years, and smirked.
"Well," he inched forward, advancing on her in a slightly flirtatious manner, a cocky stride she'd yet to ever witness from him. It took her a moment to recalibrate, as it was most definitely having its intended effect. "Technically Swan, you don't have to pretend to be married to me. That part's real. You need to pretend you actually, you know, care about me." He paused slightly, and then added, mimicking the raised eyebrow, "maybe love me?" He stopped just short of her, placed his hand on her hip and had dropped his head, mouth at her ear, his words a whisper. "Definitely that you can't wait to get me home and into bed. Honeymoon phase and all that." He stood gazing down into her eyes and it sent shivers through her. She had to step back as she processed both this new side to Killian, and her unaccountable reaction.
"Just when is this dinner?" It was a deflection. She needed to move away and stop thinking about his hand at her waist and the look in his eyes. He was joking, of course. But in that brief moment, she saw a different version of him. For the first time she saw what it would be like if they were more, and while her brain was confused, her body was not. She couldn't let him know how his touch had affected her, and that she wasn't quite sure she wanted him to stop.
"Wednesday night. It's one night, that's it, Swan. We just need to make it through one night." He'd returned to normal. All hints and flirtations gone, and if it weren't for her heart still fluttering, she'd think she must have imagined it.
"You almost ready, Swan?"
"You're going to have to call me Emma, you know." She came out from her room, and he was taken aback completely. He knew every outfit in her wardrobe, and the emerald green wrap dress was clearly new. Emma Swan, wearer of boots, leather coats, and any tight pants she could find, bought an outfit that was solely for tonight, to impress his boss.
"You look…" He couldn't even finish his thought, he was so overwhelmed.
"I know." She'd walked over to the door quickly, grabbing her coat, and was ready to leave.
"Wait, you are missing a small detail, love."
She turned back towards him, wondering what he could have meant. That's when she saw him fidgeting in his pocket, and draw out his hand with two rings. "I hope these are your size. I didn't really have anything to go on." One was a simple gold band, the other had a small cubic zirconia solitaire set in it.
As unceremonious as their wedding ceremony had been, so was their exchange of rings. She shoved them on her finger, and then made a joke. "At least that gets you out of questions on why you haven't been wearing a ring I guess," she said, motioning to his prosthetic.
"Yes, love. I'm so glad my missing appendage has been useful in this scam to get you health insurance. It's all worth it." He rolled his eyes at her and motioned her out the door.
Dinner was relatively painless. His boss made her skin crawl. But two hours, and a good meal later, they were done.
"That should set us for awhile, Swan. Don't you think?" he asked as she climbed into the passenger seat of his car. He wished the night had lasted longer. Being with Emma, pretending to be in love, had been easy. He wanted his boss to ask them back just to have the chance again. But he could also read Emma like an open book. So when his boss' wife pressed them to stay for yet another cup of coffee, and asked them if they wanted to join their Pinochle group, he knew better than to say yes.
"Bar?" For as much as she needed to get away from his boss, Emma wasn't ready for the night to be over. Pretending to be Killian's wife, feeling his approving gaze every time she spoke, the weight of his hand on her lower back as they walked, it made her feel loved and cared for. She wasn't quite ready to return to their friendship. Not yet. There'd be no reason for the charade to continue at the bar, but she wanted to cling to the feeling. Being home, changing into pyjamas and settling in to argue over the TV, would break the spell for sure.
'What's that?"
"Let's stop at a bar. I'm dressed up. Your boss is a creep. I want someone else to make me a cocktail. Let's stop at a bar. Not the Rabbit Hole. Someplace nice."
If Emma wanted to stop for a drink, he would not say no. He drove to a place he'd heard mentioned at the office. It was supposed to be nice. Low key. Intimate. The antithesis of their regular watering hole. Of course having heard about it at the office, he should have known the first people they would see upon entering were one of his of his co-workers and her boyfriend.
He turned to whisper in her ear, to cue her in to their need to continue the charade, but she was one step ahead, linking her fingers through his, and stopping his mouth with her cheek.
"Belle, Will. This is… " he didn't need to continue. Belle had already moved over to make room for them, happily curling herself into her boyfriend's side.
"This must be Emma. It is so nice to meet you. I've heard almost nothing about you. Although, that's no surprise. Killian keeps so much to himself at the office. How did you two meet?" Emma instantly liked her, and smiled. They had no need to make up any back story. They'd been through the inquisition with Gold and passed with flying colors.
"We were next door neighbors. Realized one day that wasn't enough." He put his arm around her, and she looked at him with the appropriate adoration. When the waiter came to ask after their drinks, she had no problem giving him their order, and it was his turn to look on as though the woman in his arms was too good to be true. The smile on Belle's face clearly indicated they'd sold her, and there would be no report at the office on Monday of Killian's marriage seeming a little off.
When Belle and Will excused themselves, citing an early morning for Will the next day, Killian and Emma made no motion to follow suit. Ordering another round of drinks, they sat in companionable silence, his arm still around her shoulder, as she lay her head on his and traced the pattern of plaid on his slacks. It was no different from how any of their evenings at home could have ended, only this time without the TV as a distraction, just the low jazz piped in over the bar's speakers, the warm lights and candle on the table instead of the glaring overhead bulb of the ceiling mounted fans in their respective living rooms. There was nothing for either of them to do but to appreciate the moment.
She felt him press a kiss into her hair. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Physical affection came easily between the two, both having missed so much of it through their lives. "Thank you, Killian." She felt his arm tighten a little more, as he rested his lips into her hair, a permanent kiss. "Thank you for caring enough about me to do this. No one has ever cared about me the way you do."
He didn't reply. She didn't need him to.
She would know that knock anywhere, only she wasn't expecting it at all. Racing to the door, she ran to throw it open ready to give the man standing on her doorstep a hug.
"Liam!"
"How's my little sister doing?" He had already picked her up and spun her around in a tight embrace.
"Ugh, down." She waited until he lowered her, gasping a bit for air before answering. "Just fine, thank you. Did Killian know you were coming? He didn't say anything." He pushed her back, holding her hands and took a moment to take her in.
"You're looking well, Emma." It was then that he felt the ring on her left hand, and pulled it up to take a better look.
"I think some explaining is in order." She could see him peering over her shoulder, as though he were looking for something, or someone. "Where's my brother?"
"I don't know. You know you knocked on my door, not his, right?" He looked utterly confused. "I don't know if he's home, but come back here if you can't get in. I'm making breakfast."
"Emma, love. Putting Poptarts in the toaster does not count as 'making breakfast.' I need to have a word with my brother if he's left you in charge of cooking." Still looking around he added, "Actually, I need to have a word with my brother about a good many things it seems."
He was out the door in a flash, and she could hear his signature knock on the door adjacent, and the brothers' greetings. Even for as much as Liam had adopted her as his own sister from the day they met, she was always jealous of the bond the brothers shared. No amount of knowing she was one of them now could replace the hole she felt for all the years she was alone.
As she dug in to her breakfast, she wasn't prepared to hear their shouts. It was rare that they settled their disagreements with loud words. Usually it was with sulking and throwing sarcastic barbs. She'd been planning on joining them as soon as she finished eating, but decided it was best to let them work it out.
"YOU'RE A BLOODY FOOL, KILLIAN. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?" Whatever Killian had done to earn his brother's ire must have been bad. She couldn't hear Killian's response. For once he seemed to be the more levelheaded in the argument.
"MOTHER'S RING?" Her eyes grew wide. It took no time at all to put the pieces together. She looked down at the rings on her left hand, the ones she never took off, despite their marriage being a sham. He'd given her their mother's rings. She vaguely remembered a story from years ago, when Liam had married. His wife having a family ring to use, and preferring that over Killian and Liam's mother's. The ring they'd held on to, despite its value, even when they were at their poorest. She hadn't thought about it since the day Liam handed it over for Killian's future wife. And now, she pushed the diamond, not cubic zirconia, back and forth on her finger, she realized she was wearing the Jones brothers' most prized possession. She could understand Liam's anger.
She heard a door slam and loud footsteps down the hall and down the stairs. The door opened and closed again, this time much more softly. The second set of footsteps stopped at her door, and after hearing it open and close, the man who sunk down next to her on the couch was not the one she was expecting.
"So I guess you heard all that."
"You know it would have been hard not to. You weren't exactly being quiet." She couldn't look at him. For as much as she understood his anger, she was also hurt. Feeling like she'd been a part of their family for so long, only to find out that he didn't approve of her in that way, was a dagger through her heart.
As though he could read her thoughts, he put his arm around her and pressed her head to his shoulder.
"It's not that I don't love you, Emma. It's my idiot brother. He's shut himself off from love for so long. I'm just worried that this marriage will keep him from going after something that could be real, Emma." She nodded in understanding. "For a moment, when I saw that ring on your finger, I hoped…" He trailed off, not wanting to finish his thought.
She couldn't respond to that, but knew what he meant. Her feelings on the matter, on Killian, now so conflicted.
"You know I'll give it back, Liam. The day he needs it, even before. When Killian needs this ring for the woman he loves, it's hers."
"No, love. It's yours. Now that it's there, I don't think it belongs anywhere else. Killian doesn't really remember our mother, but I do. She would have loved you. You're one of us, and you know it." She was nearly crying. He gathered her up, holding her as she calmed herself. She was thinking of the mother she never had. The brother comforting her. But mostly, of what her life would be like the day someone supplanted her in Killian's life. She wouldn't be able to face that day. Again, as though he knew her thoughts, Liam stroked her back and soothed her. "I've always thought of you as my sister, love. But now you're one of us for good, a real Jones regardless of how it happened. If any lass tries to come along and take that ring, well, she'll have me to deal with."
He'd been upset with his brother and his brother's daft plan. But mostly he was upset with Killian for his unwillingness to just admit how he felt about this woman. But now, holding Emma as she cried in his arms, he knew it wasn't just his brother. Stubborn, the pair of them. He smiled, knowing how this would all turn out. He wasn't wrong. No other woman would ever wear that ring.
When Killian finally returned home, he found Emma and Liam drooped on the couch, feet on the coffee table, looking every bit as though their bones had been removed.
"I leave for 8 bloody hours and I find my brother and you catatonic in front of the TV. Have you done anything at all?"
"Now, now, little brother, don't speak to your wife like that." It continued that way through all of the older brother's surprise visit. "Brother, wife, sister-in-law, brother-in-law." All proper titles were used at every turn each chance Liam had.
As he bid them goodbye, his business in town concluded, he hugged Emma tight. "Emma Jones, you're one of us for good now. Remember that. Elsa wants to see you for Christmas. The girls can't wait to see their Aunt Emma again. They're quite mad they missed the wedding. They wanted to be flower girls."
"You didn't tell them, Liam!" It was one thing lying to Killian's co-workers, but quite another having those little girls believe something that wasn't true.
He laughed. "No, Emma. Of course we didn't tell them. You're still plain old Emma, badass girl who lives next door to their idiot Uncle Killian." He hugged her again, and then turned to Killian for a hug as they saw the cab approaching. Emma didn't hear, but Liam had parting words for his brother. "And you are an idiot, Killian. Just tell her."
It was bound to happen. Living in such close proximity. Occasionally playing husband and wife. The line would eventually be crossed. They each lived in constant hope and fear of the day.
The night of Killian's office Summer party would never have been either of their guesses as to when it would happen.
She'd been to several work events by this time, playing the part of the wife flawlessly. Not a single person in the room would haves suspected. She couldn't help but notice as some of Killian's co-workers would shoot an admiring glance his way and watch their expression quickly turn dark as their eyes continued on to her. She would smile, and then the rock would form in her gut. These women didn't know it was a sham. And she knew that as much as he said this was for her benefit, he was using it as a shield. With a wife at his side, no one would approach him. No one would try to fix him up with yet another woman who they just knew would be perfect. She was his armor. But then he'd turn to her, not having noticed any other woman in the room, and draw her hand up to his lips, or brush a kiss across her cheek, and she couldn't mind. She'd quiet the voice in her mind with another drink, curling herself further into her husband's side.
He was too happy to notice as Emma took another drink from another tray is it passed. These nights where they truly had to play the part were heaven to him. He could wrap his arm around her, kiss her, and treat her like the goddess he believed her to be, without worrying of the consequences. She never needed to know his actions on a night like this were manifestations of his true feelings. He would simply kiss her cheek again, pull her a little closer, and pray that time would stand still.
He noticed her falter a little as they walked back to the car, but blamed it on her shoes. He'd seen Emma drunk on more occasions than he could even remember, and she was showing none of the usual signs. As they drove home, her left hand on his knee, she admired her ring.
"Killian, I know this was your mother's, and that you didn't buy it for me or anything, but did you know that this is the first piece of jewelry anyone has ever given me that hasn't been stolen?"
He chuckled. "Not entirely sure that's the case, love. My father, from the stories I know, was a bit of a pirate. There's every possibility that ring was not gained through any sort of legal transaction."
She laughed. "But still, you didn't steal it. And you gave it to me. I'm not giving it back. Ever. Liam said I didn't have to."
"Who said I would ever ask for it back?" He looked at her, slightly concerned, and could see the worry on her face.
"You won't always be married to me, Killian. Someday you're going to be ready to love again. You're going to meet someone who makes you happy, and you're going to want to marry her. But I'm not giving you this ring back." She pulled her hand from his thigh, and covered it with her right hand in her lap, as though she were protecting it from an unseen thief.
He pulled the car in along the side of the road, realizing he couldn't have this conversation and drive at the same time.
"Emma Swan. That ring is yours. Not just because I've given it to you and Liam says you can keep it." He was looking her square in the eyes as his right hand gathered her left, and toyed with the jewelry in question. "This ring is yours because I have found someone who makes me happy. Someday I hope that she'll marry me for more than health insurance, but I'm willing to wait for that day."
"Killian." There was panic across her face, and his heart sunk as he imagined their friendship ruined after his admission.
"Yes, love?"
"I'm going to be sick." She was able to open the door before anything happened, and he was out and by her side in an instant. "No, don't watch." She was trying to hold her hair back and simultaneously shield herself from his view.
"Emma, this is far from the first time I've seen you be sick." He took her hair from her hand, and knelt, careful to avoid the puddle of sick at his feet. She put both of her hands on her temples so that he couldn't look at her properly.
Her voice had grown quiet, but he could hear her as close as he was. "But it's different now."
"How's it different now, love?" He smiled as he relaxed. Emma's panic wasn't to do with his admission, and it seemed as though she had something of her own to add. If not for their precarious situation, at the side of the highway with evidence of her dinner at his feet, he would have pulled her to his lap, ready to hold her until she confessed.
"It just is."
"It's different for me to see you sick now that I have told you, in a roundabout sort of way, how I feel about you?" She nodded, finally looking up at him. All he could do was smile. "Emma Swan, you're impossible."
She smiled back, almost sheepishly. "But you like that about me?"
That earned her a laugh. "I love that about you."
He stayed kneeling, stroking her hair for a moment, until Emma spoke up. "I think I'm feeling better now. Can we go home?"
"Of course, love." He stood and shut her door, but not before placing a kiss on her head.
They both stayed silent as they drove home, but her hand found its way back to his knee. He wanted nothing more than to take it in his, but never trusted himself to drive with just his prosthetic. He took his next best option, and dropped his left arm to his lap, and smiled when she took the rubber and metal in her hand, no differently than she would his flesh and bones. He turned and smiled at her finding her already beaming in his direction.
When they got home, he had every intention of leaving her at her door. The gentleman in him told him to take this slow. To let her set the pace. As they reached her apartment door, she unlocked it and pulled him in.
"Killian Jones, just because I was a fool and drank too much I have no intention of making my husband do the equivalent of sleep on the couch." He laughed as he could hear her brushing her teeth in the bathroom. She exited, hair high in a bun wearing her usual sleep clothes. But it was the smile on her face which made her more beautiful to him in that moment than she'd ever been.
She approached, and started removing his tie, while peppering his face with kisses. When it landed on the floor, her hands found his suit coat next, pushing it from his shoulders until it joined the tie. It was when her hands started working on the buttons of his shirt that he went to stop her.
"Emma. Maybe tonight isn't…" But she cut him off, laughing.
"Oh Mr. Jones, don't get ahead of yourself. You're definitely taking me out on a real date before you get lucky. But you're also not leaving here tonight, and I won't have you sleeping in your suit. I thought I'd help."
Safely knowing he wouldn't need to stop her, that she was thinking clearly, and none of this would be forgotten in any alcohol induced haze, he allowed her to continue. She was pressing a kiss into his navel while one hand worked on his belt, when he had to stop her for a question.
"Mrs. Jones, please tell me you're free tomorrow night for this proper date." She laughed, and he could feel it on his stomach before he pulled her up into his arms. "Please do not go any further. I will not be able to make it."
As they began to explore the crumbling boundary of their relationship, they both realized the futility of waiting. They had eight years of friendship. Of dates. Of intimacy beyond anything they had ever known. Waiting served no purpose other than keeping them from their future.
Killian awoke the next morning, naked and sated, and before thinking twice answered the phone ringing at his side. He hadn't noticed it was a FaceTime request, his mind distracted by thoughts of the prior night's activities, and was jolted into action by Liam's words.
"Brother, cover yourself. And please cover your wife." He sounded shocked, but the smile on his face indicated otherwise. Killian, in a panic, looked over to Emma, mortified at the thought of having exposed her to his brother, realized she had ducked under the covers and not a stitch of her could be seen.
"Hi, Emma." She heard Liam's voice call out to her.
"Hi, Liam."
"So I guess I can't refer to you as my idiot brother anymore."
"I think I'm still a bit of an idiot to be honest."
"Why's that, little brother?"
He pulled Emma up from under the sheets, just enough to kiss her. "I've been in love with this woman for 8 bloody years, and it took me that long to tell her. What does that make me."
It was Emma who replied, to Liam's complete enjoyment. "My idiot husband."
Liam disconnected the call. Anything he needed to talk to his brother about could wait. Killian had much more pressing matters at hand