A/N: I hate Mary-Sues. I really do. I have nothing against OCs in general, but I hate those sappy characters with no personality. So I've decided to take Mary-Sues to the extreme. I'll just leave it as a one-shot, though.

Just so you know:
When you're reading this, if you feel that I'm making fun of YOUR story, I assure you, I'm not. This story is all in the name of fun, and I didn't mean to insult anyone's story.

Disclaimer: don't own Zim or JtHM. I'm just one of those crazy fans that Jhonen lovingly refers to as 'horrible screaming goblins'.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, sexy Irken named Gip. She also had an incredibly tragic past, but that won't be revealed until later. I believe that a physical description is necessary at this point.

Gip was around 4`6``, had GORGEOUS emerald-green skin, and antennae that were reminiscent of curly-fries. Her eyes were two different colors; the right one was sky blue, and the left one was grass green. And everyone knows how FREAKISHLY ABNORMAL two different eye colors are for Irkens. So Gip was a Social Outcast. (Pretty tragic past, right?) Boo hoo. But that wasn't the only reason she was an Outcast and had no Social Life; she SECRETLY LOVED ZIM! (There's a shock) And since everyone hated Zim, everyone hated Gip.

When Zim had gone off Invader-ing, Gip entered a severe depression and developed a disease that condemned her to speak in a Valley-Girl accent. It was quite embarrassing, and the shock of the disease forced Gip out of her depression. She had to DO SOMETHING EPIC. So she did.

She went to the Tallest and BESEECHED them to send her to Earth to find Zim.

"My Tallest" said Gip, still speaking like a Valley-Girl. "Like, please send me to my Zim. He, like needs me!"

The Tallest exchanged glances.

"Well" whispered Red to Purple, "We could send this loser to the Other loser; then the Empire would be loser free!" Purple couldn't argue with logic, so they both agreed to give Gip a lousy spaceship and a crappy SIR unit and send her on her merry way.

"Like, she's cute! What's her name?" Gip squealed as the hunk of junk that was an insult to robots everywhere came tumbling in front of her.

"It doesn't have one" said Purple. This kid was starting to get on his nerves.

"Well" squeaked Gip, "Since she's so cute, I'll name her Cutie! Like, how awesome is that!"

Red's eye began to twitch.

The Tallest gave her a lousy, broken down Voot. She fixed it up with her magical Mary-Sue powers, making it pink and covered in flowers.

Somewhere in the universe, multiple fangirls gagged.

Cutie's name was misleading. For one thing, she was a piece of crap and ugly as hell. She also hated Gip with the intensity of a kajillion volcanoes. When Gip cheerily started humming the 'My Little Ponies' theme, Cutie glared at her venomously. "I hate you and I'll never do what you tell me to do" she said.

Gip gasped dramatically. "But – but you're supposed to be really happy and fall in love with GIR later! Like, that's what we Mary-Sues do!" She then reprogrammed Cutie to be perpetually happy and annoying. Whoopie.

Six months later, they reached Earth, set up a base, and enrolled in Skool.

"Class," snarled Ms. Bitters, "I now introduce the newest disgusting appendage to the student community. This is…. Gip."

Gip waved happily out at the class. Zim and Dib's attention was immediately focused on her. Dib thought, "GOD, she's SEXY! She's not even disguised, and I can plainly see she's an alien, but I don't care right now!"

Zim's thoughts were more along the lines like, "Whoa. Another Irken. She's so perfect, and even though Irkens don't date or anything, WHAT THE HECK! I'll just leave all my sanity behind and fall completely in love with her!"

At recess, Gip dramatically pronounced her love for Zim and they got married…. In the skool-yard! OMG! She also revealed something shocking – she was Dib's MOM! That means the Zim was his Step-dad! Such an epic twist in the plot this was!

The rest of the day, Zim and Dib stared at Gip, who flashed a perfect smile and batted her eyelashes the whole day long.

It was sickening.

At the end of the day, Gip walked home, Dib and Zim trailing after her like lost puppies; completely caught under her spell and –

Okay, I can't take it anymore. Time to give this story some PIZZAZ!

As Gip skipped home, a tall, thin man holding knives walked up to her. Shouts of "Kill her, Nny!" and "Come on, Johnny, you can do it!" came from the surrounding houses where fangirls lived. Nny chased after Gip. They disappeared into a dark alley. Nny came out holding a bucket filled to the brim with a red liquid. He was whistling cheerfully. He walked up to a short girl with a ponytail, who smirked, and paid him $10 for his…. services.

Gip was never seen again.

THE END!

A/N: The end sort of sucked…. But I had to incorporate Nny. I LOVE HIM! And in case you didn't get the ending, I paid Nny to kill Gip. She was annoying.

~Gilly