Hey Everyone ! I don't really know why I write this, maybe because I really miss Santana in the show but, anyway, I hope you'll like it. English is not my first language so if there are some mistakes, tell me and review what you think about it please =)

Enjoy !

"I never thought I would see you again, Santana," she says out of breath, "We didn't see each other in, what? Six years?"

Santana turns to face that woman. She's real and the Latina wants to cry. It has been so hard moving on, doing her life without Brittany by her side. She looks at her, how she hasn't changed at all; she still seems so innocent, fragile but just older. And she wants to cry even more. She wants to cry and scream, she wants to hide and forget all the pain. But all she's capable of doing is answer and pray for that conversation to be short.

"Yeah, that's right. Six years. It's a long time, isn't it?"

Brittany nods, not even realizing how much uncomfortable Santana is. "I'm so glad you came, you have no idea. We made so many Glee reunions in the past few years but you never showed up. It's like a miracle to see you here!" She approaches her ex-lover to hug her but Santana steps back and smiles shyly.

"I know, it's just… you know, with work, it hadn't be easy at all to come at Glee meetings. Life is just crazy, isn't it?" She says making sure to take her distances from Brittany. She doesn't add anything and just tries to leave the room but Brittany stops her.

"Stay, please. I dreamt so many times to see you again, to talk to you… You're real. You're here and I think it is fate, you know. I was scared you would have moved on or that I would have but see, we're soul mates."

"Brittany, please, stop it. Let me go." At that moment, this one particularly, Santana realizes how much she had missed Brittany this last few years but it's not that easy for the Latina because all the pain reappears. Just like that.

"I can't, it's written, Ana." She flinches at the nickname and looks vulnerable suddenly. "Not until you tell me why you left, why you didn't fight for us."

It's time to run away and Santana knows it but she owes it to Brittany, to herself. "You were too much for me. I know it doesn't mean anything but I couldn't keep going on like this. I couldn't look at you and love you knowing on the other hand that I didn't deserve you. So, I told myself that if I left, if I let you live without me, you would have had a chance to be happy someday. I loved you, Brittany. God, I loved you so much but, love isn't enough. When I imagined what it would be for you to live at my side, I understood we weren't made for each other."

"What does it mean?"

"It means I moved on. I returned to the starting point, it's true but I moved on. I didn't wait for you, Brittany. Tina kept on telling me how happy you were, I even saw you on TV and I decided to do something about my life, you know. I met this guy – Jason – and all the hurt and hatred I had against both of you and me disappeared. He asked me to marry him a year after our first meeting and I said yes. I needed to forget about you even if it was hard. I had to let go of you." Brittany looks like she's about to fall on her knees and Santana doesn't know what to do. She asked for the truth and here it is but deep down, the Latina just wants to hug Brittany in her arms, she wants to go back in time and make her choices differently. "For all that matters, I never loved someone the way I loved you and, in the same time, I didn't want to. Because, loving you – even if it was the best thing that happened to me – was accepting to always be the bad guy. And in high school, it didn't matter because I already had a bad reputation but I decided to change the rules once I got into College. I just wanted to be me."

"Being with a man, it was being you?"

"Back then, yes. It was what I wanted, Brittany. Still is. I don't ask you to understand but, maybe it's time for you to move on too."

"You're going to let me go? Again? After all this time, after six years without seeing each other and despite the fact we still love each other, you're asking me to give up on you?"

"I wish I could be with you but you're still too much. Nobody will agree to see us together again. Nobody will accept us."

"This is bullshit, Santana," she sighs.

"No, this is bullshit for you, not for me! You don't want to understand, that's all, Brittany!"

"You're right; I don't want to understand because this is ridiculous! We love each other, end of story!"

This is going nowhere even if Santana really wants everything to be okay between them. Brittany wants to be with her and that's great, that's maybe the best thing she heard in the past few months but Santana has a life on her own and she doesn't want to destroy her life for Brittany.

"Would you like to be with me if you knew what everyone will say behind your back? Because I know what they'll say, Brittany and it just hurts more than it already did. Mercedes will say that you were wrong, that I caused you so much pain already. Puck will come to see you telling you he's ready to protect you against me. Rachel and Quinn will do everything to push me away from you after our first argument. Kurt will beg you to let me down and move on and Finn will laugh at you when I'll leave you. And do you know where the irony is? I will leave you because of all of them, Brittany. Because of their curiosity and judgments. So, do you still want to try again? Because I don't. I won't give us another chance to hurt each other."

"They're not like that, Ana…"

"Of course, they are! When I left for College, they all called me to tell me that I should be ashamed, that I should have stayed in Lima with you but none of them would have done that! Nobody did, actually. Especially Rachel! They judge me all the time and you, you can't defend me because you don't see me the way they do, because you love me and this is too much for me."

That the first time Santana tells this out loud and it feels good. Good and bad at the same time.

"I don't care about what they think!" Brittany argues.

"Well, not me. When they say those kinds of things, what hurts me the most is that you don't fight for me, Brittany. You let them say all this shit because you don't think like that but… Did you ever wonder if I didn't end up believing them?"

Her body hurts. Telling all of this makes her weak and ashamed. They're all supposed to be her friends and even if they did that to her, even if they don't try to apologize, Santana has the sensation that she has to be smarter than them and not turn Brittany against us. But no one ever asked her what she felt and today, someone did.

Again, she's about to leave but Brittany grabs her arm. "Let me go, Brittany. I want to go back home."

"Your home is here, Ana. With me," she insists.

"No, not anymore. My home is in L.A now with Jason."

Brittany starts to cry and Santana's heart breaks. It is so hard. It's like falling into the ground and being out of breath. It's even like dying.

"I would have loved to do my life with you, you know. Leaving will probably be my biggest regret from now on but I rather have this one that giving up on the person I became. I am so sorry, Brittany. I hope you'll understand one day."

And then, she leaves because this is the end of them. This is the end of Brittany & Santana and it's awful. She feels awful but relieved. Even happy and she just wants to cry again for feeling that way.