Prologue
Hello and welcome. I am Gumball Watterson and I will be your host and guide for today.
Today, I am going to be talking about a concept named after me. It is called Gumballism.
In this guide, I am going to define what a Gumballism is and teach you how to master it through simple steps.
First: What is a Gumballism?
The term was originally coined and defined by my brother, Darwin Watterson as "saying unnecessary mean things". The word "mean" here alludes to sardonicism and sarcasm, traits that describe me very well.
To give you an example, here is what Darwin said right after giving that definition:
"Your face looks like a cat trying to claw its way out of a melon".
If you inspect it carefully, you will find that Gumballism requires imagination and being able to make a connection between two or more things to get a humor-inducing result.
Here are some more examples to help you understand the concept better:
"It looks like the ugly tree and the Christmas tree had a baby and let him dress himself for school".
"You look like a cannelloni filled with idiocy".
"Have you seen your sandals? You look like you're about to walk on water".
"You know, when you're pretty and you say something mean, people think you're sassy but with a face like that, people think you're sasquatch".
Now, perhaps the second thing about Gumballism is delivery.
Gumballism is usually delivered in such a tone that distinct it from other types of speech. This tone is low in pitch and the words come out slower than usual.
Certain facial expressions are often used too for emphasis such as: a raised eyebrow, a frown...etc.
Second: How to master Gumballism?
Like I said before, Gumballism requires some imagination and quick thinking. It is highly advised that you work on improving yours before following the upcoming steps.
Here are my steps as to how master Gumballisms:
1. Wait for the right moment.
Gumballism cannot usually be delivered at random times. Patience is required to get to the perfect set-up moment.
2. Find the connection.
Choose the two or more things you are going to compare and take some time to come up with something clever.
3. Deliver it correctly.
I already mentioned that delivery should be with a low-pitched, slow tone.
Third: Other things you need to know (Bonus)
Gumballism can be taken by some as an insult so I advise you to choose wisely when to use it. Choose the right time, the right person and the right thing to use in your Gumballism.
It's best if you use it with those close to you (e.g. family, friends, co-workers, classmates...etc). Those who you know won't mind Gumballism being said to/about them. (Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way).
Do not use it with strangers and/or authority figures. It can either cause a fight or you will get in trouble. (Learned that the hard way too).
Conclusion
That concludes this guide. I sincerely hope this guide helped shed some light on Gumballism and actually help the readers learn a thing or two.
In closing, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.
Have a nice day.
By Gumball T. Watterson