A/N I know that I should've written for my story, but I was in the Christmas spirit! I have some news; Christmas is starting early this year. At least it is if I have a say in the matter. It's merely early November, but I'm already in the spirit, haha. So that's where this came from. Please review, because I love my reviews, and I've been extremely depressed lately and need something to brighten up my day.
Christmas had been celebrated at the shared property in Colorado by the Atwood and Cooper family for many years; ever since Ryan and Marissa were fifteen. The house had been bought by the two families because the adults were best friends, thought the two teenagers hadn't ever really spoken to each other, and rarely did other than the two weeks they spent holed up in that rather large house. The house was beautiful to say the least; a large, pristine five bedroom, three and a half bathroom cabin surrounded by pine trees with an almost magical view of mountains in the background. The Atwood and Cooper adults had fallen in love with the house one day as they searched the web, randomly looking up properties in various areas. Both families were worth millions and had the money to spare, so they decided as an act of friendship, they'd both buy the house together.
Now it was ten years after that first magical Christmas spent in the cabin, and to say the least, things had changed. The parents still spoke, but not nearly as often as before. The teenagers were now adults, out of college and out in the real world. No one really knew what kind of Christmas this would be, but they all were prepared and knew that this could quite possibly be the last of their annual gatherings. The older adults didn't care much for traveling anymore, and the young adults were starting to get their own lives away from this piece of magnificent property. Everyone loved the house, but they also loved the slightly warm California Christmases with the beach and their original homes. It also wouldn't be long before the younger adults would be bearing children of their own. As the two families drifted apart, it was actually quite obvious that this was their last chance to really spend time together.
Ryan Atwood trudged through the snow carrying his suitcase, quietly cursing to the snow and whoever the hell thought it was smart to come to Colorado of all places for Christmas. He knew there were probably much colder places on the planet, but he'd never been a fan of the cold, and especially had never been a fan of the snow. Most children who didn't grow up creating snowmen and having snowball fights dreamt of a great snowstorm that would result in a white Christmas or few extra days off of school, but never him. He'd always been completely content with the weather conditions in Southern California. Sure snow looked good in movies, but in reality it was cold, made your clothes wet, created puddles of water when it melted, and shoveling it was not exactly a walk in the park. Especially after large snow storms.
He let out a long, deep sigh and watched his breath turn frosty white. He rolled his eyes, this just one more thing to annoy him. He hated the holidays and everything they represented. A bunch of people singing songs around the tree, spending money on gifts that are probably going to be returned or never used, and hanging up various lights or other decorations just didn't seem like much to him. What was the big deal? If he told a story of a fat guy who liked to swipe cookies from kids' houses, then he'd somehow be spreading this magical Christmas cheer to all of America and the world? It didn't make any sense, never had, and never would. He'd much rather be home in his nice, luxurious apartment, not holed up in this gigantic house with his parents, their friends, and Marissa Cooper.
Marissa Cooper. Just the name made his heart sink. If you wanted complicated, then Ryan and Marissa were your couple, or rather, they weren't a couple, but minus well be. They had never really talked before their parents bought this house, and they certainly were never friends, even after that first year. In fact, if you saw them at school most could infer that they completely despised each other, though he was very sure the latter was true. He was head over heels in love with Marissa Cooper, and had been for ten years, ever since that fateful night that they bonded in the way that you can only bond with one person before the moment is gone forever. To put it lightly, they'd lost their virginity to each other.
"Did you spike the eggnog?" Ryan asked, looking at Marissa after taking a large swig of the incredibly powerful drink she'd handed him. She giggled and gave him a flirty smile, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"What would you do if I did?" She asked, raising her eyebrows challengingly.
He smirked and said, "Why, Miss Cooper, I'd do this.." He jumped up and charged towards her, giving her just enough time to jump up from her spot on the sofa to run from his outstretched arms. "Come here!" He shouted, chasing her up the stairs. Their parents were asleep on the other side of the house and he highly doubted they'd hear the two of them, no matter how much noise they made. They had been sitting by the fire, trying to keep warm, and got to talking about things ranging from school to secrets that they'd never thought of telling anyone before, much less this stranger they'd never really spoken to before.
"Catch me if you can!" She said, giggling as she ran into her room and closed the door behind her.
"Come on, that's cheating!" He exclaimed, lightly tapping on her door. "Marissa…" He said, staring at the door with a smirk still on his face. After a few minutes she still hadn't made a noise. "Marissa?" He asked softly. "Can I come in?"
He saw the doorknob twist and he smiled softly to himself. She opened the door and smirked at him. "Still haven't caught me," She said, and then she ran further into the room.
He started to run after her, but froze in his tracks when he saw what she'd done while the door was closed. On the dresser and nightstand were some candles, the flame flickering in the darkness, the only real source of light. He used the illuminations and looked at Marissa who was standing there by her bed, playing with her hands nervously, biting her bottom lip. "What's this?" He asked quietly, searching her eyes, or at least attempting to in the darkness.
"I didn't spike the eggnog," She admitted softly, taking a step towards him. She grabs one of his hands and he's amazed at the warmth of it. While before he'd been freezing cold, he now found that his internal temperature was a million degrees more than the fire that was still burning downstairs. "I just wanted a reason to get you up here."
"Why?" He asked, his Adam's Apple bobbing furiously as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Isn't it obvious?" She asked in barely a whisper, searching his eyes just as he searched hers. She tugged on his hand and led him to the bed, then lay back on it, pulling him on top of her gently. He could see her cheeks flushing pink as she said, "I've never done…this…or anything…before…"
"I've never done this before either," He admitted. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before he asked, "Are you sure you want to? I mean, I never expected this from you and we don't have --" Her lips connecting with his broke his sentence and coherent thinking. He opened his mouth to hers and their teeth scraped, resulting in both pulling away laughing a little bit. They bumped noses, their teeth scraped and slightly hurt, their hands didn't know where to go, but in the end they finally got it right, marking an experience neither would ever forget.
When it was over, he wrapped his arms around her naked body and kissed her forehead softly, staring at her intently as she looked off into space, obviously in her own little world. "So?" He asked, trying to pull her back to him, already feeling himself lose her.
"So what?" She asked, looking at him for a moment before reverting back to her previous thoughts.
"So…what does this mean for us? I mean, are we together or what?" He asked.
" What makes you think we'd be together?" She asked, disentangling herself from his arms and going to find her clothes.
He got up as well and started to dress. "I don't know, because we just had sex?" He said, rolling his eyes.
"So?" She said nonchalantly.
"So, some people see that as a big deal," He pointed out.
"Do you?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
"I don't know…but you obviously don't," He stated, shaking his head in disbelief. This Marissa chick seriously was something different.
"Why should I?" She asked, raking her fingers through her hair.
"Never mind," He said, finishing buttoning up his shirt.
She smiled and walked over to him. He watched her confusedly and she leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips. When she pulled back she said, "We may not be together…but as long as neither of us is dating…who's to say we can't have any fun together while we're here? You have to admit, this place is like a whole new world, separate from our lives back in Newport. Why not take advantage of that?"
"I don't know, won't someone end up getting hurt?" he asked, not really knowing what to think of this benefits kind of relationship. "That's what they say is always happening, anyways."
She shrugged and said, "I won't give you my heart, you won't give me yours…it's just purely physical. Deal?"
He stared into her eyes and then looked down at her outstretched hand waiting for his to shake with. "Um…okay, deal." He shook her hand and they both smiled warmly at the other, neither realizing just how much their lives had changed.
Thinking back on that night, he knew he should've never agreed to that. He should've shaken her and convinced her that he was what she wanted, who she needed, that they should be together. He should've insisted that they give it a shot so at least he would know he'd had a fighting chance for her at some point. But now things were different and ten years had passed, nine of them spent having sex with each other over Christmas holidays. He reached the front porch and stomped the snow off of his boots, then entered the house, met with the warmth of the heater and sounds of laughter. Her laughter.
He closed his eyes for a second, listening to that musical sound he'd come to love filling the cabin and slowly making its way to his heart, which constricted when he heard a male's voice enter the mix. A male that wasn't him. A male that had his arm around the love of his life. A male that was going to be getting married to Marissa in a few short, measly months. It was because of this news that he'd officially dreaded coming to this Christmas gathering this year. His mom had called him with the news just a few days ago. She never knew about his relationship with Marissa, but was merely doing him a service and informing him that they'd have an additional guest in the house this Christmas.
He set down his suitcase and walked further into the house, into the living room where everyone was already seated and comfortable. He saw Marissa's eyes sparkle as she looked at her family and the family friends, her right hand in her fiancé's, the diamond on her left finger shining a ray of light towards him, slowly piercing his heart. "Hey," He said, his voice oddly more controlled than he'd thought possible. Marissa's eyes immediately found his and softened around the edges, familiarity and friendship inside of them. She smiled a little at him and he felt his heart melt. He was so screwed.
She stood, completely ignoring her fiancé, and practically ran towards him. "I've missed you!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.
"You too," He said, his arms awkwardly finding their way around her petite body.
She leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "We need to talk." He nodded slightly, but not noticeable unless you looked hard enough. "I'm going to say I'm getting some drinks, and you say you'll help." She pulled away, and stared into his eyes for the briefest moment, the look she'd held before now completely vanished. In its place was a seriousness he'd never seen before. He told her silently he'd follow her. She turned to everyone and said, "I need to go get some drinks, does anyone want anything?" No one paid attention to her, not even the male she'd brought along with her, everyone far too captivated by Ryan's arrival.
He watched Marissa walk away and smiled at everyone, giving an occasional hug, his eyes never straying from Marissa's body as she departed. Right before she left the room to head into the hallway connecting to the kitchen, she turned around to face him again, making sure he'd go talk to her soon. He gave a small nod and she officially left the room. After a few minutes he said, "I'm going to go get a drink. I don't think I told Marissa what I wanted…"
He walked away before he could be introduced to the fiancé. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Marissa leaning against the counter. He could close his eyes and imagine her body naked, the way she looked when she was 15 and vulnerable to the way she looked just last year as her eyes fluttered closed from pleasure and soft moans escaped her lips. He could undress her with his eyes right at this moment and know where every freckle on her body was, and where he had to kiss to make her just melt into him. She saw him and smiled weakly, reaching to a mug next to her on the counter. "I made you some hot chocolate," She said, handing him the mug.
He took it from her hands and saw that she'd given him five marshmallows, just like he liked. Not many people knew that about him. It made him smile just the bit. "Five marshmallows," He said softly, looking up into her eyes.
She smiled a little and nodded. "Just like you like."
He nodded and looked back down at his hot chocolate, lifting it to his lips and taking a sip. It was hot, but it was good. He pulled it away from his lips and said, "It's good."
She smiled and shyly said, "Thanks."
He nodded and set his mug down on the counter next to her. "You wanted to talk?" He asked, leaning on the counter right next to her.
She sighed and said, "You know what I'm going to say."
He nodded and directed his eyes back in the direction of the living room. "What's his name?" He asked quietly.
"Mark Evans," She replied, her voice just as quiet.
"Do you love him?" He asked, turning his gaze towards her.
"What kind of question is that?" She asked slightly offensively.
"Well before you jump into marriage, I think it's important that you love the guy, and if you can't tell your Christmas fuck-buddy, then who can you tell?" He said bitterly.
"Why are you being like this?" She asked, her voice sounding hurt and wounded. "I thought you'd be happy for me."
He sighed and said, "I will be, if you can tell me without a doubt this is absolutely one hundred percent what you want to do. You can't even have the smallest doubt, Marissa. Marriage is a lifetime guarantee, one that can't be made to look unimportant."
"I never knew you felt so strongly about marriage," She said with a smirk.
He shrugged and said, "When it's for people I love, then it is."
She practically spit out the hot chocolate in her mug. "What did you say?" She asked, staring at him with wide eyes.
He waved her off with his hand and said, "Of course I love you. You've been my friend for ten years, I'm bound to love or hate you by now." She nodded but neither said anything. They both knew that wasn't what it was. He'd made that obvious years ago.
"Why are you crying?" he asked her, walking into her room without asking permission. It was an unspoken rule that there really weren't any boundaries between the two of them. Sometimes he'd walk in while she was showering and shave in the mirror and she didn't care or feel embarrassed. They were both seventeen, and it was only a few days after Christmas. She moved on her bed so that he could sit down and then snuggled into his chest, breathing in his manly scent that she dreamt about at night.
"I don't know why Eric broke up with me," She sobbed into his chest. "I thought things between us were going great and then suddenly he needs space." Eric had been her boyfriend, but broke up with her right before they were let out of school. Marissa had been shaken up about it all break, and Ryan could tell the difference. She wasn't nearly as energetic as she used to be and he couldn't remember seeing her actually eat a full meal. "Is there something wrong with me?"
"Eric's an idiot," He explained to her. "And idiots never know how good they have it, and he had it good. I mean, he had you, and how can you get any better than that?" He saw her skeptic look and added, "I mean, you're smart. 4.0 GPA isn't easily achieved. And you're beautiful." She blushed slightly. "I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you, and I've seen my fair share of women." She still looked a little unsure and he said, "Not to mention you're sexy as hell and really good in bed." She turned dark red and he laughed softly. "I would kill to have someone like you as my girlfriend, but then again, I don't think there is anyone like you." Her eyes got slightly watery and he leaned down to kiss away the tears that escaped. "So don't let this idiot get to you, because you have so much more to offer than he realized."
Their faces were mere inches apart and she flicked her eyes from his intense stare to incredibly soft lips that she suddenly wanted to kiss. "That was very sweet," She said softly, barely even a whisper.
"I can be sweet," he said with a smile.
She smiled and then finally connected their lips. There was something more in this kiss than before, and she wondered what it was. He seemed more tender, but he'd always been tender and incredibly sweet when it came to her. She'd seen him at school around other girls and he wasn't exactly the dating type, or at least she hadn't seen him in any relationships that didn't solely depend on sex. When he was around her though it was as if he was a completely different more caring and generous Ryan Atwood, one that she could easily fall for if she let herself. Not that she would. She'd seen what he'd done to girls and how their hearts would break, so she made sure she kept hers carefully locked inside of her. Something told her by the way this boy stared into her eyes, or the way he made love, not had sex, with her that he wasn't as careful with his heart around her. And that thought alone scared her more than anything else.
"Have you met Mark yet?" she asked, taking his hand in hers and leading him back to the living room. "I told him all about you…"
He smirked and said, "Oh have you now?"
She stopped and glared at him. "Don't even joke about that."
"What, your husband to be wouldn't like to know that the future Mrs. Evans used to have a fuck-buddy that she's been hiding for ten years?" He asked, his eyes boring holes into her body. She wondered why it felt like he was trying to punish her for something.
"You were never just a fuck-buddy, Ryan, and it hurts me that you'd even say that," She said quietly, staring into his eyes pleadingly.
"You never answered my question," he pointed out.
She remained silent and dragged him to the living room. "Hey, Mark, this is Ryan…I don't think you guys formally met just yet. Ryan, this is my fiancé Mark."
Mark had light brown hair and hazel eyes. When he smiled he had two dimples on either cheek and when he looked at Marissa his eyes lit up like the night sky. Ryan knew at that moment that Mark loved Marissa deeply, but when he looked at the way Marissa looked at Mark, he saw instead that she was staring at Ryan for approval. "It's nice to meet you, Mark," Ryan said, deciding to play polite.
He stuck out his hand and Mark shook it firmly. "You too, Ryan. Marissa's told me so much about you." "Not everything," Ryan thought to himself, trying his best not to smirk. Marissa read his mind and glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.
Ryan's mom, Dawn, came and put an arm around her son. "Come on, let's go eat dinner before it gets cold." They all proceeded to the kitchen, and Ryan's heart crumbled in two when he saw Mark lean over to kiss Marissa's cheek. What really pierced it and made it bleed though was when Marissa smiled, turned her face, and kissed him on the mouth.
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Ryan had tried to win Marissa before. He'd flat out told her he wanted to be with her. She didn't believe him, practically laughing at him. She made it up to him by stripping in front of him and climbing into bed, patting the spot next to her seductively. He hadn't ever wanted for this to happen. He had known that someday Marissa would get married and it probably wouldn't be to him, but he still had hope every year when he didn't see her bring a guy to the cabin that he'd stopped worrying about the day it would happen. Now he wished he'd done something a long time ago to spare himself from the sheer misery and heartache he felt right now.
He leaned down and pecked her lips for a moment, and then lay his sweaty body back on the bed, completely exhausted by the latest round between Marissa and him. She smiled and propped herself up on her elbow so that she could look over into his eyes. She didn't cover her body completely, and as she faced him, he could see her breasts completely exposed to him. He knew in the back of his mind that she'd done this on purpose. She loved to tease him in every way possible. "How's college?" He asked, taking one of his hands and started massaging her left breast, feeling the nipple become erect.
She closed her eyes and welcomed the pleasure he was evoking, purring, "It's okay."
"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked, trying to keep his voice monotone.
She shook her head and leaned a little more into his touch. "No. I'm actually kind of lonely most of the time."
He switched over to her right breast and then mustered up all the courage inside of him to ask, "Do you ever think of me and you together?"
"Yes, I'm thinking of being 'together' with you right now if you don't stop," She said, her voice breaking from the pleasure she was fighting off.
"No, not sexually, I mean, like, well, together, as in you my girlfriend and me your boyfriend," He said softly, averting his eyes to her breasts to avoid eye contact.
Her eyes flew open, despite the pleasure she was still experiencing. "Are you serious?" She asked, not giving away any emotion.
He nodded and said, "Yeah. I mean, is it such a bad idea? We're not in high school anymore so we don't have to worry about what people will say…"
She shook her head and said, "I can't be your girlfriend, Ryan."
His heart sank. "Why not?"
"Because you live in Berkeley and I live in Boston, for one," She said, pulling away from his touch to lean back on the bed.
"That's not important, we could see each other every chance we were given. We could call, text, email…"
"And because I just can't date you. Not now, not ever," She said quietly, avoiding his eyes.
"How come?" He asked, his voice a mere whisper.
She turned to look into his saddened eyes and for just a moment let herself believe that he actually felt something other than lust for her. That he really wanted to be with her, not just her body. But then she got a taste of reality, and though it was bitter, she swallowed it and took it in. "Because I don't want to be your girlfriend. I don't see you that way."
"What way do you see me then?" He asked, trying to ignore the pain lodged in his chest where his heart should be. "Just as your fuck-buddy right? That's all I am and ever will be to you; a good lay." He sighed and angrily got up to find his clothes. It was snowing outside, which meant that it was freezing inside. He shivered as he searched to locate his boxers. He turned to look on the other side of the bed when he saw Marissa holding his boxers with a smirk.
"Looking for these?" She asked.
He glared at her and reached for them, but she held it out of his reach. "Marissa, give me my boxers. Now."
"No," She said, her voice soft. "We need to talk about this."
"What's there to talk about? You don't want to be my girlfriend, end of discussion. It's no reason to refuse to give me my underwear," He said bitterly. "Not to mention I'm completely naked and it's cold."
"Then come back to bed," She said with a sigh. "We only get nights together since our parents never knew about us, and you're wasting a perfectly good night of cuddling. Come on." She lifted the blanket so he could get under the comforters next to her, exposing the front of her naked body. "Please?"
He grumbled but got under the covers next to her and immediately felt warm. He sighed contently at the warmth enveloping his body, and then realized that it was Marissa wrapping her arms around him and he scowled. "I don't get you at all," He announced after he'd completely warmed up.
She kissed his chest and giggled a little, the sound immediately melting his heart. "Not everyone does," She said, staring into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I just can't be with you in that way," She said softly, her eyes begging him to understand.
"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" He asked, cupping her cheek with his left hand. "Anything at all?"
She sighed and shook her head. "No, I'm sorry."
He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure. Then he opened them to find her staring at him, her eyes smoldering with something he'd never seen in them before. "So what now?" He asked.
"We go on as before. Until either of us gets in a serious relationship, Christmas is our time to be together…secretly, of course." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, as if he wasn't only giving her his entire heart for only two weeks out of the whole year when he wanted to share it with her every single hour of every single day.
"And how do we do that?" He asked, not sure if he could ever go back to the way he was at the beginning of the night with only the sex.
"Hold me?" She whispered softly. He wrapped his arms around her and she relished his touch. He relished the fact that she was here with him at all, if even only for two weeks out of the whole year. And he was right, they never did go back to the way they were before. Instead, they found something even better.
That talk had occurred when they were both nineteen, already sophomores in college. In the years that followed, they formed somewhat of a friendship that was greater than they'd ever imagined. They told each other everything with one exception; their current lovers. And for the most part it worked. They could talk all year long on the phone and never get tired or lose something to say, and when Christmas came around they'd resume their affair with a fury that neither knew was possible. Their parents probably suspected something was going on, but never commented on it, knowing better than to poke and prod into their lives. It was pretty obvious with how they acted around each other that there was more than what met the eye going on with the two of them.
He watched as Marissa and Mark fed each other throughout dinner and could barely stomach any of the food. "Sweetie, you've barely touched your food, are you okay?" Dawn asked him concernedly.
He stared at Marissa and willed her to look at him, but she didn't, so he looked down at his food and nodded. "I'm fine." He didn't think he'd ever told a bigger lie.
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The rest of that night and most of the next two days he managed to avoid Marissa and her beloved Mark. When they were inside, he made sure he went hiking around outside. When they were outside, he made sure he found an excuse to go inside. Marissa seemed confused and slightly hurt at the way he obviously didn't want to spend time with her, but didn't comment on it in front of everyone else. At night he closed his bedroom door and tried not to let images of Marissa and Mark in her room together get to him, but usually he ended up sweating and couldn't sleep. He was miserable and cold. He didn't think there'd ever been a worse week leading up to Christmas in his life.
When Christmas Eve finally arrived, he knew that avoiding Marissa anymore was out. She tracked him down and angrily asked, "Why the hell have you been avoiding me?"
"I haven't been avoiding you," he replied, walking away from her in the snow.
She followed him and said, "Yes, you have. You haven't spoken to me, you haven't been around me, and when you are, you refuse to even look at me! What is up with you? I thought we were friends, and friends don't do this to other friends."
"Friends also don't use the other for sex and then assume that when they get engaged, that other 'friend' should be happy for them," He yelled at her. She stood there in shock, staring at him with her mouth wide open. "So don't even begin to think you have even the tiniest right to be mad at me."
"You agreed to the deal," She protested after a minute. "You knew what we were getting into."
He shook his head and looked down at the white, snow covered ground. "No, I didn't know what I was getting into. If I knew at the beginning that I'd end up falling in love with you, I never would've given you the time of day."
He walked away from her, leaving a very troubled future Marissa Evans to be behind.
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About halfway through the day he decided to change his game plan. He'd make Marissa suffer through all of this. It was her fault he was in this situation anyways. So when he saw her alone, he'd walk over to her and ask, "Can you honestly tell me that Mark is better for you than I am?"
She sighed and said, "Ryan, don't start with me," but he could see how weak her fight was.
"Do you love him? Can you honestly say that?" He asked, staring at her intently.
"I don't need to prove my love for him to you," She answered.
He rolled his eyes. "You obviously don't love him then, if you're not willing to tell me how much you love him. He doesn't deserve you, Marissa."
"Oh, and you do?" She asked sarcastically.
He set his jaw angrily and said, "We're not talking about me."
"Sure as hell sounds like it," She replied, and then walked away, this time her being the one to avoid him.
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That night he learned from his parents that Marissa was staying in her room alone. He decided to seize the opportunity and walked into her room without knocking, catching her just coming out of the bathroom after taking a shower. She saw him and stared at him for a moment, but then continued with what she was doing. She had a flimsy robe on and she bent over to pick some clothes out from her drawers. He closed the door behind him and walked further into the room, never taking his eyes from her body. Right there in the middle of the room she took off the robe and slipped her nightgown over her head. She refused to speak to him, so she just kept her back to him and looked into the mirror as she started combing out her hair. "I'm sorry for avoiding you," He murmured softly, sitting behind her, fitting her between his legs.
She didn't say anything, but he could tell she was listening to him. "I'm a jerk sometimes, I know, but I'm just so hurt with everything." She still didn't speak, but he saw that she hadn't run the brush through her hair all while he spoke. He took it from her hands and started to gently run it through her slightly damp hair that smelled of lavender. He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled the scent that belonged to her, remembering a dozen other times when he'd done the exact same thing. "I can't deal with you being with someone else, not after everything we've been through, and I have problems dealing with how you can too." He leaned down and kissed the back of her neck tenderly. "I mean, this Mark guy, he wasn't there when you fell and broke your leg when we were sixteen, and he didn't hold you as you waited for help. He didn't wipe away your tears when your dog, Dustin, died, and he didn't watch a marathon of your favorite TV show for three days straight and hold you while you cried about your favorite character dying." He saw that she was fighting off both a smile and tears, and began to let himself believe that maybe this was working.
"And from everything I've inferred about your relationship with him, he's never seen you naked the way I have." She blushed a little and he immediately knew that she was still only his in that one way, and he smiled. "And he doesn't know about this spot…" He leaned down and kissed her sensitive spot, right where her neck and shoulder connected. She leaned into his touch as he continued to softly kiss along her shoulder, and then back up to her neck. He knew it wasn't fair for him to use their history against Mark, but he also knew that if he didn't fight now, he'd lose the love of his life forever. "I want you, Marissa," He breathed. He looked up at their reflection in her mirror. "Can you honestly tell me you don't want that?" He directed her gaze towards the picture they made together and their eyes locked inside the mirror.
She turned in his arms and suddenly kissed him hard on the lips. After going over a year without each other, they suddenly desperately needed to be together. She leaned him back against the bed and removed her nightgown so that she was completely naked on top of him, and then reconnected their lips and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He flipped them over so that he was on top and she quickly shed him of all of his clothes as well. They both climbed under the covers, creating their own little world where only the two of them existed. He tried to enjoy every single second with her, to show her how much he cherished and loved her. He tried in his kisses and his gentle caresses to show her that he desperately needed her, that he couldn't live without her. And as they made love that night, Christmas Eve, they both knew that things would be different in the morning, that things weren't nearly as simple as they were trying to make them, that someone's heart was going to be broken. But until the next morning, they wouldn't dwell on the fact, just relished the fact that they were together.
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"What the hell are you doing?!" Ryan heard, immediately jolting him upright. His eyes fell upon a very angry looking Mark staring at a naked Ryan and Marissa in bed together.
Marissa looked very scared and grabbed the blanket and her clothes and walked away from Mark. "Let me just get dressed," She said quietly, "And then we can talk."
Mark glared at Ryan and said, "Obviously you don't care too much about being seen naked."
Ryan got his boxers on and told Marissa with his eyes that she could go get dressed in the bathroom. He then put on his pants and shirt and told Mark, "Dude, calm down."
"Calm down?! I just found my fiancé in bed with another guy! And she doesn't even put up for me!" He glared at Ryan and charged for him. "I'm going to kill you."
"No, you're not, because if you do you'll go to jail and it won't help anything. Besides, I could probably kick your ass anyways."
Marissa came out in her robe and looked at Ryan, then Mark. It was obvious she didn't know what to do, and for a second Ryan felt sorry for her. This had to be hard, telling your fiancé that you couldn't be with him. But then he thought of how he could spend all his time with Marissa without Mark in the way and couldn't wait for her to get the guy out of here. "Mark, I…I'm sorry," Marissa said softly. "I never meant for this to happen, it just sort of did and I…"
"I don't want to hear it," Mark said angrily. "And I honestly don't care." He angrily ran a hand through his tousled hair and said, "We're over."
Marissa nodded and handed him the ring from her left hand. Ryan almost shouted in joy that the stupid jewelry was gone. She hadn't taken it off last night, even as they passionately loved each other, and it had been bugging him. "I'm sorry, again, I never meant to hurt you."
Mark rolled his eyes and stormed out of the room. Ryan stared at Marissa, and then walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She immediately seemed to relax and just feeling that made him feel great about today. "Mark, where are you going? What's wrong?" He heard Julie Cooper, Marissa's mom, say.
"Ask your daughter," Mark replied, and then they heard a door slam.
"Marissa?!" They heard Julie shout. "Get down here right now!"
"Coming!" Marissa managed to call back. She looked at him and said, "I feel horrible."
"It's not your fault," He murmured quietly, kissing her forehead tenderly.
"Yes, it is, because I gave you my heart and not him," She said, sighing long and slow and trying to blink back tears.
"No, you didn't," He said, and she looked at him confusedly.
"I gave you my virginity, my body, my mind, my friendship, and my heart," She pointed out to him.
He shook his head and said, "No, I stole your heart. It was against the rules for you to give it to me, remember?" He smiled a little and she sniffled, then smiled at him again.
"I love you," She murmured, the first time she'd ever said it to him.
He tightened his grip on her and said, "I love you too." As she leaned in and kissed him, he decided that maybe Christmas wasn't as bad as he'd made it out to be after all.