Author's Note: So, this is my first Storm Hawks story and my second one in general. This is something that just popped into my head after I realized that the majority of the squadron is not older than fourteen. This would make them child soldiers, wouldn't it? Well anyways on with the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Storm Hawks.
Chapter One: A Game
As soon as they had somehow reached the nearest Terra with a hospital, everything after that had seemed to have passed in a blur: The Condor had landed; not having wasted any crucial time, Junko had - despite his severely injured arm - carried a bleeding and unconscious Aerrow into the large hospital.
All of them - minus Junko, whose arm needed immediate treatment - were now gathered in front of the operating room anxiously awaiting the news of their leader's condition.
The corridor was brightly lit and completely void of any people except for Finn, Stork and Piper, who had an unusually quiet Radarr sitting on her lap. From time to time she would absentmindedly stroke his head lightly, whereas her tired and watery eyes were focused on the wall. Stork was looking nervously around the corridor without the infamous twitch of his eye and would sometimes whisper something under his breath, which would go unheard by the other three members of the Storm Hawks.
Instead of sitting on one of the comfortable cushioned chairs, Finn was sitting cross-legged on the rather cool floor. His back was already sore, since he hadn't changed his position for a long while. Actually, Finn didn't know how long they had already been waiting here. He had lost all track of everything that resembled time. To him it felt like a torturous eternity.
He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes as his eyelids threatened to drop betraying his own fatigue. He yawned, sighed again and stretched his arms with another big yawn.
Finn just hoped that Aerrow was going to make it.
Wait. That sounded just plain wrong.
Finn knew that Aerrow was going to make it. At least that was what he desperately wanted to believe but it seemed impossible at the moment.
How could something like that have happened? Something like that had never happened before. Something like that was never supposed to happen.
Sure, they had had several encounters with the Cyclonian Talons before but they had never ended like this. Although they were somehow aware of the fact that the battles against the Talons were dangerous, they would nevertheless dive into the heat of the battle without fear; without fearing death, injury or any fatalities at all. They never gave those things a thought. They would always push them aside in favour of more pleasant and heroic ones. Why should they worry too much anyways? In the end, they would always come out - except for a few minor bruises and scratches - pretty much unscathed. This was how it always went. They fought and won. They never got critically injured. They never took their battles too seriously.
Well, Finn didn't take the battles too seriously.
And now they were paying for it very dearly.
This was not how it was supposed to go…
They were the Storm Hawks. They were the new Storm Hawks. They might not be officially accepted as a squadron but nobody of them cared about the official matters. They were a team of very young members - most of them were just fourteen-years old - who could effortlessly handle the job of an adult. They were just that good. The several face-offs with the Cyclonian Army, with the Murk Raiders, the Raptors and numerous other threats had already proven this.
Something disastrous like that on Terra Blizzaris was not supposed to happen ever. The Storm Hawks were not supposed to lose. They were not supposed to be beaten by the Talons.
They…no…he wasn't supposed to trust someone he didn't know, he wasn't supposed to be fooled by a pretty face, the Condor's Engine Crystals weren't supposed to be replaced by some fake ones, their Skimmers weren't supposed to be half-damaged, they weren't supposed to realize too late that their Skimmers had been half-damaged, they weren't supposed to be ambushed by the Cyclonians when they were the weakest.
Aerrow wasn't supposed to be backstabbed by that girl. Aerrow wasn't supposed to be stabbed with her dagger countless times. He wasn't supposed to end up sprawled in the soft snow while his bright-red blood was pooling around his motionless body.
This was just so wrong….
The worst of it all was that everything had been his fault. They had lost because he had insisted on showing her around the Condor. Finn had insisted showing her everything. He had wanted to impress her. He had thought that he had succeeded with impressing her. Unfortunately, he hadn't known - not even suspected - that she had been faking everything; every glimmer of excitement in her big green eyes, every mirthful smile, every facial expression until the right time had come.
And now Aerrow's life was on the brink of death. Stork's predictions of doom didn't sound that outlandish now.
Finn's musings were cut short as one part of the large double door, which had Operating Room 4 in red letters imprinted on it, was opened with a very quiet click, yet every one of them flinched at the small sound.
Finn hastily stood up ignoring his sore muscles that protested painfully with the fast movement as a doctor stepped out of the operating room and closed the door behind him with an even quieter click.
They regarded him expectantly and fearfully at the same time. The doctor's face didn't give anything away, his features stoic as if set in stone.
"How…how is he?" Piper asked hesitantly.
The doctor sighed heavily making Finn expect the worst. He absentmindedly clenched his fists tightly trying to keep them from trembling and gulped shakily.
"He's alive," the doctor said deliberately.
Finn could feel a relieved grin forming on his face and was about to yell something about Aerrow being too stubborn to die but an angry glare from Piper made the words die in his throat.
"He's alive but his body is still very weak. He has lost a huge amount of blood. One of his wounds even got infected," the doctor halted looking at their reactions and continued cautiously, "The following days will decide if he'll live or not. If his condition should worsen the possibility of him dying is very high."
Finn didn't know if he should smile or cry. Aerrow was alive but the doctor was saying that they shouldn't be too hopeful? He was technically telling them that Aerrow could die at any given moment. Finn had been expecting good news even maybe bad news but not such wretched news, which he couldn't categorise neither as good nor bad.
He had hoped so badly that the doctor would tell them that the operation had been very successful and that Aerrow could only get better. To hear that Aerrow could really die sounded very strange and outlandish to Finn's ears. They would always recover from any wounds, especially Aerrow. But the reality of the doctor's words hit Finn's already crumbling hope like a heavy mace. It made the maddening guilt he was feeling only more unbearable.
"Can we see him?" Piper asked steadily.
"No, not at the moment. It would be too soon. He needs to rest," the doctor answered but upon seeing Piper's crestfallen look he seemed to pity her and added, "Maybe after a few hours. I can't promise you anything yet. You have to understand that it would be better for him to be left alone for a while."
Piper nodded slightly.
"You should all go and rest yourself," the doctor said noticing their tired states, "You shouldn't neglect your own health. After everything you've been through you should take a very long nap," the doctor finished and even considered to smile at them and eventually left them with a curt nod.
They stood there undecidedly until Stork coughed lightly and got their attention, "Yes, I think we should get some rest. Do you know what the lack of sleep can do to a person? It can weaken your immune system, it can slow down your reaction time as well as your wound healing, it can cause nausea, aching muscles, memory loss or lapses, hypertension, headaches, hand tremors, dizziness, delirium, constipation and..," the Merb paused almost dramatically as he turned his gaze at Finn, "severe yawning."
Under normal circumstances Finn would have merely rolled his eyes at Stork's predictions but they weren't under normal circumstances and Stork actually delivered his predictions so seriously and without his usual comical paranoia that he found himself unable to do so. Besides he could already feel a few of the effects that the Merb had just listed.
"Maybe we should," Finn said his voice unusually raspy. He looked at Piper for an affirmation but all he got was a small and forced smile.
"You guys should go and get some sleep, I'll wait here and look after Junko," she said rubbing her left eye and continued with a whispery voice, "And maybe Aerrow will wake up."
"But Piper…," Finn started his voice still in that annoying raspy tone. Even he knew that it would take some time until Aerrow regained his consciousness. If he ever should.Finn winced inwardly at the thought and tried his best to ignore it.
"No buts," Piper said firmly, "Even if I tried, I know I won't be able to fall asleep. Besides you look worse off than me," she finished looking pointedly at Finn.
Finn frowned in return feeling a bit offended. It wasn't like she looked that much better off. He was about to retort but then decided against it. He sighed and closed his lips that had been already parted without him registering it. He really wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone right now. None of them were. There were more serious matters to talk about.
"Alright but promise me you'll get some sleep too. Don't overdo it, Piper," he said somberly and with a last worried glance at her he turned around starting his way along the long corridor on rather shaky feet.
"I loath to say it but I agree with Finn, Piper," Stork said, "Don't. Overdo. It."
"Alright, alright. Don't worry. I'll get some sleep…later."
The first thing Finn did when he arrived at the desolate and the partially damaged Condor was not going to bed but going into the kitchen and drinking five glasses of cold water. He coughed a few times as he had gulped some of the water down too quickly.
"If you won't mind, I'll go to bed," Stork said, "Please don't make too much noise. I intend to begin the repairs on the Condor tomorrow morning. I'll need every minute of sleep I can get."
Finn wiped the water, which was dripping down his chin, away and looked at the Merb. Finn had never seen Stork act like this. Usually he would get into fits whenever the Condor would be damaged. It was a strange thing to say but Stork seemed to be the one out of their whole squadron who was taking the current occurrences the best.
"Don't worry. I was about to get some sleep anyways," Finn said setting the glass down onto the counter suddenly feeling even more tired and drained than before. This was too much. Even if he hadn't fought today, the things he had seen were enough to fatigue him. He felt like his age had doubled today.
He staggered over to the door. Stork was still standing there regarding Finn cautiously as if he was already expecting that the tired sharpshooter wasn't going to make it to his room alone without tumbling down. To Finn's surprise, Stork actually waited for him. He decided not to comment on it and just kept going with Stork not leaving his side.
The way to his room seemed so much longer to him now and Finn was starting to doubt if this really was the Condor until they reached their characteristic sleeping quarters. Finn walked over to his door - at least he hoped it was his door - and pushed the button. Hearing the familiar sound of the opening door he entered his room as quickly as possible. He was about to close and lock the door behind him but halted his movements.
"Hey Stork," Finn called out.
Stork turned around and looked at the sharpshooter with impatience and exhaustion in his dark eyes, "Yes?"
"Do you think…do you think that…eh…do you think that Aerrow's actually going to…to die?" Finn stuttered the guilt and sadness resurfacing and mingling with his weariness.
Stork sighed, "Finn, just go to bed."
"He'll die," Finn mumbled the image of a heavily bleeding Aerrow flashing in front of his eyes once again. His half lidded eyes widened in something akin to realization, "Stork! He…he'll die. Aerrow will die. You…you…you heard the doctor. He said the possibility of Aerrow dying is very high. Stork he'll die because of me. It was all my fault. I…I…I shouldn't have…he'll die," he was by now on his knees, hyperventilating and tears were streaming down his face. He let out a painful sob.
Everything…the reality and gravity of the whole situation came crashing down to him. What were they going to do if Aerrow was going to die? What would become of them? Would they ever recover from such a loss? He was their leader. What would he do? After all, he was the cause of Aerrow's death.
Stork stood their for a while eyes wide with shock. Finn just continued to cry and kept repeating over and over again how everything was his fault. The arrogant and jolly sharpshooter of The Storm Hawks was reduced to a quivering and sobbing mass.
Stork hesitantly walked over to Finn and stared at him a bit more at a loss of what to do. Then he - with even more hesitation - awkwardly put his hand on Finn's trembling shoulder. The sharpshooter was oblivious to the Merb's presence and let out an agonizing whimper.
"Finn…" Stork whispered and petted Finn's shoulder awkwardly, "Finn calm down," Stork tried again but his voice was drowned out by Finn's helpless crying. "Hey," he poked Finn's shoulder but to no avail. Stork sighed uncomfortably and in exasperation and just tried to counter Finn's violent weep by shaking his shoulder apparently not knowing if to comfort or to hit him.
"My fault….everything…is my fault," Finn chanted over and over again, "He'll die…he'll die--"
"FINN!" Stork suddenly yelled his eye twitching in irritation, "Just…calm down, okay?"
Finn went silent and stared up at Stork with his big teary eyes, which were filled with so many emotions, the foremost being hopelessness, guilt and shock.
"The doctor has said that if Aerrow's condition should worsen in the course of the week then he could…die. You're acting as if he's already dead," Stork said not noticing that his hand was still resting limply on Finn's shoulder, "You don't make anything better if you cry. And why do you blame everything on yourself? Every one of us should have suspected that something wasn't right with that girl. It wasn't merely you who trusted her. Stop blaming yourself, it won't change anything. You should now just go into your room and get some rest. That's at least what I'll do. The sleeplessness is really getting at us." Stork withdrew his hand swiftly and stepped back from the sharpshooter, who had gone disturbingly silent.
Finn took a deep yet shaky breath and slowly hoisted himself up. He staggered a bit and leaned against the door frame for support.
"Yes…you're right…we really should…get some sleep," he finally said with a hoarse voice. "Good night," and without adding anything further he gave one last look at the clearly troubled Merb and entered his room closing the door behind him.
"Aerrow is on the brink of death, Piper is going to overdo it, Junko is injured and Finn is an emotional wreck. We're certainly all doo--," Stork stopped looked around the empty corridor and sighed dejectedly, "And I'm talking to myself. Just. Great."
Today, Finn was in high spirits. He had just visited Junko, who was - according to a very pretty nurse - healing very fast. Talking to Junko had clearly cheered him up. Although their conversation had started awkwardly, since the Wallop needed to know about their leader's rather dire condition, he had nevertheless managed to take some of Finn's pessimism away. Junko had managed to put some hope back into him.
Finn decided to visit Aerrow as he briskly walked along one of the hospital's white corridors. Although Aerrow still hadn't woken up from his coma yet, Finn determined that he still should go and see their leader. Who knew? Maybe he would be so lucky and Aerrow would suddenly wake up. Well, maybe that was a bit too far-fetched.
Thanks to Junko Finn was convinced that Aerrow would wake up. It could only be a matter of time until they could once again function as a capable squadron. Really everything started to look up for them. Even though he was very disinclined to get his hopes too high, he only needed to recall the past happenings to erase the nagging, negative thoughts. Stork had told him that the in a few days the Condor would be as good as new, Junko's arm was healing well and Piper and him had been alright anyways. Aerrow just needed to wake up and get quickly better to make things perfect.
Finn was almost about to skip along the corridor but then he noticed that he had arrived at Aerrow's room. He swiftly opened the door with a bright smile on his face, even though he knew that Aerrow wouldn't be able to return it but he really didn't care. The smile vanished quickly as he saw that Aerrow wasn't here. Where had he gone? Had he really woken up this soon? Finn looked confusedly around the small room. No one was here. He even checked the toilet. No one.
"Aerrow?" he whispered.
What if something had happened? Finn's good mood was starting to turn into panic.
He ran out of the room; along the snow-white corridor and eventually skidded to a halt as he saw Piper on her knee's crying with a nurse kneeling beside her with a comforting hand on the navigator's back.
Piper was crying. He had never seen Piper crying. Not even once.
"Pi…per," Finn broke out making her turn around to look at him.
Her pretty face was contorted with sadness, tears were streaming down her cheeks and her orange eyes - swollen and reddened - flashed with so many emotions.
"Finn?" she rasped, "Finn, Aerrow…he's…he's dead."
Finn just stood there his eyes wide with shock. He shook his head. No. Aerrow couldn't just die like that. He was the Sky Knight of the Storm Hawks! He was their leader! They had a war to win, so Aerrow couldn't be dead.
He dashed into the operating room, not caring if he was allowed to or not. He needed to find Aerrow. Even if Aerrow shouldn't be awake, he could show Piper his living body. Piper shouldn't cry over nothing.
His blue eyes scanned the huge room. Finn ignored all the doctor's and nurses, who tried to usher him out. His gaze finally settled on the centre of the room. There was a bed with someone lying on it. Aerrow. But his whole body - his face included - was covered with a white blanket.
"No," Finn sobbed out as he approached the bed, "Come on, dude," he said with a deep inhale as he took the blanket away exposing Aerrow's dead body.
"Ae…Aerrow?" Finn faintly felt how tears started to roll down his face as he stared at his friend's lifeless body with disbelief and sorrow, "Aerrow, you…you…need to wake up. Piper is crying because of you," he said as he started to shake the motionless body in front of him. At first lightly but then…when Aerrow refused to open his eyes he clenched the tattered and blood-soaked bandages on his friend's body and shook him forcefully making Aerrow's body move limply with the vigorous motion of his hands. "Wake. Up," Finn hissed between his clenched teeth.
Aerrow wasn't waking up. Aerrow wasn't breathing. Aerrow's heart wasn't beating anymore.
Finn collapsed on his knees and just cried, his body convulsing with each agonizing sob, one hand still weakly grasping the bandages on Aerrow's body.
"Why won't you just stop it? Don't you see that it's futile?" a sickeningly amused voice asked.
Finn turned around. And there she stood. Petite stature; curly blond hair; big, green, seemingly innocent eyes and clad in a new Cyclonian uniform. It was that girl! That…that spy. She was the one who was responsible for everything! She had killed Aerrow!
"What do you want?!" Finn roared.
She smiled amiably and let her green gaze sweep over Aerrow's body, "I just wanted to see if my mission was successful and I must say that it was."
She giggled softly as her eyes landed on Finn's pathetic form, "How do you feel, Finn? I mean it must be hard knowing that you were responsible for your leader's death?"
"Shut up!" Finn shouted. He stood up and ran at her. He was about to hit her when she merely stepped to the side with inhuman speed making him fall onto the ground. Not feeling any pain, he stood up and glared at the girl with all the hatred and wrath he could muster, "It was you, who killed him. It was you who stabbed Aerrow!"
She mockingly widened her eyes feigning a thinly-veiled ignorance, "But Finn, don't you think that I could have ever been able to kill your leader without your kind help?" she asked her voice gentle and annoyingly polite, "I mean you have to consider that I would have never been able to manipulate the crystals of your Skimmers and the Condor without you. You really should have listened to your pilot. Letting me see the engine room was a fatal mistake," she said her annoying smile looking so genuinely grateful he could have just punched her if it weren't for the words that hit him.
"Just admit it. It was entirely your fault that the Sky Knight is dead now."
"My…my fault?" Finn stuttered, "But…but…you…it was…you, wasn't it?"
"Well, you're right. It was you and me. I like to call it effective cooperation. Without you I never would've been able to accomplish my mission. "
"Oh God," Finn's gaze landed on Aerrow's body, "I…Aerrow…I'm so sorry. It was all my fault. Everything happened just because of me. It's all my fault. It's all my fault."
"Finn? Wake up, Finn!"
"I'm so sorry…so sorry!"
"Finn! Wake up!"
Everything started to disappear. A thick blackness engulfed everything that was around him. The girl disappeared, Aerrow disappeared and finally it reached him.
"It's alright Finn. It is just a nightmare," he heard someone say as he stirred. He felt a cool hand touch his sweaty forehead instantly calming him.
He opened his eyes. Everything was blurry. He blinked several times making him able to distinguish the shapes of familiar objects. He was in his room. He felt the cool hand leave his warm forehead.
"Finn?" It was Piper.
"Hey Piper."
She regarded him uncertainly, "You were screaming in your sleep. So I woke you up."
"I was?" Finn asked as he heaved himself to a sitting position with the little strength he could muster. He rubbed his eyes and wiped thus the forgotten tears he had cried in his dream away. Feeling a bit embarrassed he looked up at Piper only to receive another shock.
She really looked awful. Her hair was a mess not held up by her headband anymore, she had dark circles around her eyes; her eyes were swollen and full of weariness; only now did he notice that her clothes were dirty and torn at various parts.
"You look like shit," he blurted without giving his wording any thought.
Piper hit him lightly on the head and huffed indignantly.
"You haven't slept one bit, have you?" Finn asked her knowing the answer already.
"I…well…no I haven't," she answered with a sigh and broke their eye contact. She ran a hand through her messy hair and tried to avoid his accusing gaze, "Urgh, you don't look any better despite…," she stopped - not wanting to finish the sentence - with a guilty expression, "Uh…what did you dream of exactly? You kept saying that you were sorry and that everything has been your fault over and over again."
Finn dropped his gaze down to his lap looking at his fidgeting hands. Piper probably knew what his nightmare had been about if she had talked to Stork already. He really didn't want to recall anything.
"Was it…was it about what has happened yesterday?" Piper inquired hesitantly.
He nodded slightly not wanting to talk about it.
But Piper stayed insistent and put a hand on his shoulder. Finn flinched at the contact partly because of the actual touch and partly because of the coldness of it against his warm skin.
Piper sighed softly almost in a sad manner, "Finn, stop blaming yourself."
"That's easier said than done," he said with a low voice there was no beating around the bush this time, "It was me, who practically showed her where our weaknesses are. I told her everything about us, about the way we fight, about the way we act in different situations. I told her everything she needed to know. I just trusted her blindly without knowing her, without even considering that she might be dangerous."
"But it wasn't just you--"
"Alright you hadn't suspected her of being a spy but you haven't rambled every crucial information out," he spat the volume of his voice rising as he clenched the bed sheet tightly in his clammy hands, "We could've all avoided this if it weren't for my big mouth. And Aerrow is probably going to die because of me!" Finn felt new tears prick his newly dried eyes. He blinked furiously this time not allowing the tears to fall.
"Don't say that! First of all Aerrow is alive. He isn't dead," Piper said her voice tinged with anger, "And blaming yourself will only succeed in making you feel worse and worse," she continued the anger in her voice was replaced with genuine worry as her grasp on his shoulder grew firmer as she watched him struggle with his emotions.
Finn looked at the navigator. Her tired eyes were dull and held a deep sorrow, which, however, was overshadowed by the sheer determination on her face.
"Finn, don't do that to yourself," she whispered, "We need to stay strong for the sake of the squadron…for Aerrow's sake."
"I know, I know…but how would you have reacted in my place?" he asked her desperation tinting his weak voice. He took a calming breath and scratched the back of his neck feeling more and more uncomfortable with each passing second.
"I'm sure I wouldn't have been faring much better than you," Piper admitted in a quiet voice surprising Finn, "It's probably very hypocritical of me to say this but you have to get a hold of yourself…Stork told me what happened last night after you left for the Condor."
"He did?"
"Yes and you really crept him out."
"I guess I did," he said sighing loudly, "He probably was terrified by the idea of some mind worms in my brain."
"No, he was crept out because you worried him," she said bluntly, "He said you were an emotional wreck."
Finn decided not to comment on it. He still was an emotional wreck. Today he felt no better than last night, when he needed to be comforted by Stork of all people. Sleeping about the whole matter hadn't helped him one bit, he only was confronted with nightmares. And now he was again being comforted. Frankly, it didn't make him feel that much better.
"Aerrow wouldn't want that. I mean seeing you like that. He wouldn't want to see you making yourself feel miserable by blaming yourself."
"I know! I know that you're absolutely right, Piper," he said getting all the more annoyed by her in spite of her good intentions; she just didn't understand, "but you heard the doctor. He technically said that Aerrow could die at any given moment. I know that I should believe in Aerrow, I should believe that he'll make it…but…I just can't. I have seen how that bitch…attacked him, I have seen him…Aerrow…I mean…there was so much blood…his blood was scattered all over the snow. As I saw him like that…I thought that he was already dead." Silent tears were by now rolling down his face, with an angry groan he rubbed them away but were replaced swiftly by new ones.
"Oh Finn," Piper's voice wasn't more than a gentle whisper.
"What are we going to do if Aerrow does die?" he asked her looking very much like a helpless child, who had gotten lost and was frantically trying to find his parents. "He's our leader…he's our friend…we need him."
"Finn…I…," Piper was unable to say anything further and at a loss of what to do and say she just hugged Finn impulsively in a desperate attempt to comfort them both.
Finn's limp body stiffened immediately at the unexpected contact.
"Piper?" his voice was meek and shocked. He didn't know what to make of this surreal situation. Then he slowly and almost shyly hugged her back forgetting for a blissful, short moment everything around him. This was the first time after all those hours that he felt some odd sort of comfort.
All too soon Piper pulled back out of their warm embrace and gave him a shaky smile, "We'll make it," she said and looked at him as if expecting an affirmation.
"Yeah," he merely said without really thinking about it but then as an insufferable afterthought he added, "Maybe."