"I could help Rose Tyler with her homework!"
The Doctor straightened his bow tie, sighing. Another eventful Wednesday with Clara. His mind drifted back. Back to his other lives. That scarf, those ears, that fantastic hair...those jelly babies. A smile tugged at his lips. His companions. Clara, the Ponds, Donna, Martha... "Rose Tyler." The name felt foreign on his tongue, he'd not said it for awhile...he promised himself he wouldn't go back, he wouldn't remember, he wouldn't think about him, not them, not those times, not her... For fear of being hurt. For fear of it being too much.
But he always broke his own rules, always lies, even to himself. Especially to himself. Especially to himself about her.
He really never had loved his companions. Not in that way. But he needed them, and he knew it. Then she had come, and oh, hadn't her name, her voice, her smile, they had been seared onto his hearts, after all this time. She was a scar, a mistake he'd made, but one he wouldn't forget, not with any time to come. He might hide her from himself, by he couldn't, not for long. Because she was just right for him, and her hands would always find their way of fitting into his. Ever after two regenerations.
And he bet they still would.
He would often find himself drifting back to her golden hair, her brown eyes, her beautiful smile. The memories brought pain, and as awful as the pain was, he couldn't stop.
River. Yes, she had made him happy. He loved her, too, but not the same. He didn't think he'd done her well, had he loved her enough? Had he let another one get away, make her hate him? He felt he had done wrong. He should have just left them both alone, let them live their lives. Had he done that, he would have broken two less hearts. He always felt guilty. But no matter how hard the guilt rained down on him, he never regretted one moment with Rose Tyler.
She made him happy.
And he let her get away.
Clara. She was magnificent. No woman would ever be the same as Rose, but he had found...happiness in both River and Clara. But he couldn't be the reason Clara may die. He wouldn't, he couldn't kill another. Not another he might have loved, even if he denied it to himself.
One thing he knew.
He wouldn't regret one moment with any of them.
The Doctor regretted many things, but three women were not included.
Clara, River and Rose.
And he smiled.