Timelords and Tiaras

Written by: Emi Love

Idea by: Abby

"Mommy! I don't wanna!"

A stern look from the boy's red headed mother quieted him.

"Fine." Crossing his arms indigently, the boy with the spiked hair sat down on the box and faced the brooding camera. "My name is David and I'm 7 years old. My mommy says I should do pageants so I 'don't conform to gender stereotypes' but I don't really know what that means. I do it for ONE reason, and ONE reason only."

"And that is…?" the director asked, sitting next to the camera, unseen.

"Not telling." And with that, David zipped his lips and threw away the key.

..

"Ready, Rose?" Jackie asked, pulling the final curlers out of her daughter's blonde hair.

"Yes, mommy," Rose replied, looking at her newly done French manicure. She sat down on the box that was covered in a pink blanket to make it not stand out so much. The cameras were situated in her pink room, her "Princess Reigns Here" sign was neatly displayed above her bed, and her trophies and crowns were neatly placed around the room.

"Alright, tell us your name, age, and anything else."

"My name is Rose. I'm 6 years old and my mommy says I'm a princess. I USUALLY win every pageant that I go to, but when the boys come too, sometimes I don't." Leaning in, Rose put her hand up to her mouth in a mock whisper. "I think it's to help their confidence."

"Do you have confidence?"

"Of course I do!" Rose lifted a hand to her chest as if she were offended. "I EXUDE confidence… I used that word right, right mommy?"

..

"I- I'm Clara," a small girl said, sitting atop the box they had set up. She tried to hide behind her hair, but her mom had pulled it back behind a hairband. "Anything else?" she asked, her warm chocolate coloured eyes looking up at the camera.

"Age and anything else."

"Alright," Clara sighed, defeated. "I'm 7 years old and this is my first ever glitz pageant. I've done natural before, and I did pretty good, but…" Clara looked down at her patent Mary Janes and clacked them together. "I'm still nervous."

..

A curly mess of hair bombarded around the room, almost knocking over the camera. "Aaaaaand this is my karate trophy collection! I like it more than my pageant section buuuuut…."

"AHEM," a woman coughed as the girl was talking. Her sharp suit and sensible heels stood out in the room full of kids' clothes and trophies. Her ear was contained in a Bluetooth device that she almost talked into constantly. "Melody dear, these people don't want to see those trophies. They want to see your pageant stuff."

"MOM! It's not Melody! It's RIVER!"

"Alright Melody-"

"And we don't mind if she shows us her other stuff," the director commented, attempting a smile.

"Well if you'll excuse me, I- I need to make a phone call," the woman said through gritted teeth after being interrupted. "If you need me, I'll be in my office. Behave, Melody!"

"IT'S RIVER!" The girl sighed, her shoulders drooping a bit. Sitting back where they instructed she refused to sit up straight, especially since her mother wasn't there to reprimand her. "Where were we?" River sighed. "Oh right. My 'mom'," she added the quotations with her fingers, "Says my name is 'Melody' but it's really River. Like I said before, I'm 7 years old and I'm adopted!"

..

The two parents were sitting with their floppy haired son as the cameras were positioned around the house. The boy rested on his mother's lap, his head on her shoulder, his dark brown hair a stark contrast to her bright red.

"When are they gonna finish?" he asked impatiently. "I'm tired."

"I can tell," the mother softly chuckled. "And they'll be done soon, Matthew."

A loud boom came from the living room of their townhouse.

"What was that, Amy?" the father asked, shooting up from out of his chair."

"It's alright dear," Amy said, slowly bringing him back down to his chair. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

After a while, the director's head popped out to where the family was seated. "We're ready for you now. Sorry about the bang, just dropped a tripod, no damage. Promise."

Matt and his parents walked into the family room and the boy quickly took his seat at the box. The director was about to tell him what to say, but he raised his hand, and then fixed his bowtie. "Name, age, and anything else. Got it," he smiled, ear to ear. "My name is Matt and I'm 8 years old. I've been doing pageants for about 4 years and I really like doing magic. Wanna see a trick?"

..

"Rose and I are best friends, yeah I guess. She lives right down the street so we see each other a lot. Normally I just go to her pageants and cheer her on while simultaneously having my lungs shrink in size due to the hairspray to oxygen ratio in the air. But this is the first time that I've ever done a pageant. I'm not doing it because I WANT to. Rose just… asked me. Pageants are stupid anyway…"

"Christopher!" his mom scolded. "Don't say that, please."

Chris rubbed his shaved scalp in frustration. "Ok, mom!" he said. "Like I said, I think I'm gonna be the oldest one or something. I'm 9!" he smiled.

..