Carrot Sticks and Chilli Fries
A/N: Just a small one-shot I came up with while in an exceptionally boring lecture at uni this evening. Starts off with a bit of fun with the whole team and then a little Grigsby fluff – 'cause ya' know, what beats that!? I apologize if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes – this was un-beta-ed and thrown together on a very amusing whim. Enjoy! DL.
It was a quiet day at the CBI office and without a new case the team were stuck doing paperwork. Everybody was cranky and with the added heat and air conditioning being on the fritz they had hit the 'bad mood making' trifecta. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt sat at their desks, sleeves rolled up and desk fans on and valiantly trying to ignore their consultant whose plan, it seemed, was to annoy them to utter distraction.
Firstly, Jane had started off by throwing a bouncy ball against the roof as he lay on his well-worn couch, his suit jacket balled under his head. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thwack.
Jane glanced over his shoulder and glared at the three agents, unsure of which one had thrown the screwed up piece of paper at his head. Reaching down he picked it up and brought it up to his nose, Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt watching on curiously. He sniffed it once. Twice. A large grin. "I should have known. Nice aim Van Pelt."
While Van Pelt groaned, embarrassed to have been caught doing something so immature, Rigsby grinned proudly. "Hey! How'd you know it was me?"
Jane chuckled smugly before closing his eyes again. "Vanilla, your hand lotion I assume, and Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker."
"I…" Grace opened and closed her mouth before shaking her head and setting back to work on the background check she was running fore Minelli.
Next he began to make clicking noises with his tongue against the roof of his mouth. A few seconds passed, then a minute and then the next thing Jane knew he was being dumped onto the floor. "Oof!"
Cracking open one eye he saw Rigsby stalking back towards his desk and a smile twitching the corner of Cho's mouth.
"Okay I get the hint." He glanced at his watch. "Tea time." With that he sauntered out of the room leaving the agents with some much appreciated peace and quiet.
Thirty minutes later however he was back. Pulling up a chair at the desk he pulled out a 'closed case' file and settled down to read. Each agent releasing a sigh of relief.
"Mhmmm, mhm hmm..." Softly at first he began to hum and each agent turned to look at him incredulously, a slightly crazy look entering their eyes. Jane of course appeared not to notice and soon grew louder, bursting out in song with gusto.
"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms. Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones, worms that wiggle and squirm." These, it seemed were the only words he knew and so he started all over again. ""Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms. Big ones, small-"
"JANE!"
Everyone jumped as Lisbon barked from the doorway of her office. Jane looked up at the boss and smiled charmingly. "You need something?"
Lisbon could be seen to visibly grit her teeth, something – although he would never admit it out loud – Jane found adorable. "Rigsby, Cho, Van Pelt – why don't you guys head out for lunch. Jane and I are needed in Minelli's office."
The team smirked as Jane sighed petulantly. It seemed he had done something else to get the Bureau in trouble. Nothing irked him more than having to defend himself to the big boss but there was no way he was standing up to Lisbon with the mood she was in today. At least not with that gun strapped to her side. The three young agents, not wanting to be in Lisbon's line of fire, quickly grabbed their things and dashed towards the lift.
Rigsby held the door open for Grace as they stepped into the air-conditioned diner, the icy coldness a welcome relief. Cho and passed lunch at the diner, something about an errand to run.
Taking a seat in a corner booth Rigsby eagerly grabbed the menu, the rumble of his stomach make Grace laugh. "What? I haven't eaten since morning tea."
Grace raised her eyebrows, "Which morning tea was that? The massive piece of chocolate cake at 9:30, the two bag of chips at 11, or maybe the protein shake at 12:30?" She laughed at his sheepish expression and turned her attention to her menu. The waitress soon wandered up to their table, and made no effort to hide the fact that she was undressing Rigsby with her eyes.
"What can I do you for?" He high tinny voice raised the hairs on the back of Graces neck and she glared at the bleached blonde, faked nailed and spray tanned woman who looked more like she was pushing fifty than the 30 she was obviously trying to be. Grave smirked as she imagined what Jane would have to say.
"Uh…I'll have a burger with the lot, chilli fries, a chocolate milkshake and…" he caught Grace's astonished gaze. "And that's all."
"Wow, that's one big appetite. You must work out a lot to have those arms." Grace almost dove out of her seat when the waitress placed a hand on Rigsby bicep.
"Oh yes. He most certainly does." Purring Grace reached across the table and took both of Rigsby's hands in hers. "My boyfriend works out daily, sometimes even twice a day."
The waitress smiled benignly and turned to Grace. "You getting something?"
"The smoked salmon caesar salad, dressing on the side, and a lemonade please." She smiled sweetly as the waitress took down her order and glared before turning on her heel and strutting away.
"Man I love it when you get all hard arse." Rigsby leaned across the table, his lips meeting with hers with a little more passion than normal for a public place and Grace smiled against his lips.
Before long their meals were placed on the table and before digging in Rigsby excused himself to go to the bathroom after one longing look at his gargantuan burger.
Laughing to herself Grave shook her head and took a sip of her lemonade. Wayne and his stomach.
Suddenly an idea formed in her mind and Grace quickly glanced at the bathrooms. Grabbing a zip lock bag from her handbag she put her plan into action and calmly waited for Rigsby to return from the bathroom.
She smiled sweetly when he returned and began to hoe into his burger, Grace herself enjoying her salad and sipping her lemonade as she waited in anticipation.
Rigsby took a slurp of his milkshake and with the burger still in one hand reached for a chilli fry, his head whipping around to pay better attention to the plate when he fingers rested on something cold and hard.
"Carrot sticks? Grace what the hell happened to my chilli fries."
Shrugging innocently Grace's hand stole down under the table and return with a chilli fry that she popped delicately into her mouth, groaning in appreciation.
When Rigsby and Van Pelt returned to CBI headquarters form lunch Jane commented that Grace looked very pleased with herself, a comment that made Rigsby roll his eyes and Cho wince. "Dude, I really don't wanna know what they did one their lunch break."
Jane raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Grace who simply cast a humoured glance at her boyfriend. Huffing, Rigsby impatiently shuffled papers on his table and muttered petulantly under his breath, "Carrot sticks and chilli fries."
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it – just something I pounded out for fun. My first shot at a Mentalist story too. Reviews are appreciated. DL.