A/N: Well, I took a nice long break from fanfiction for a while, but now I'm back. Who missed me?

Anyway, I'm not really sure what this is. This may have come from reading countless parodies of fanfiction, or it could have been caused by a boredom-induced hallucination. All I know is that this popped into my head during a Study Hall one day, and the plot bunnies have refused to let it be.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, blah, blah, blah, and Sammy is based on a real person in a roundabout way, so I don't own her either.

(Sammy is ILikeScarvesAndGuitars, by the way.)

Well, this is your last chance to turn back before I have completely mangled your sanity.

Oh, you're going to risk it then? Well, don't say I didn't warn you...

"G'morning, Mimi," Mark muttered as he shuffled past Mimi on the couch. Rubbing his sleep-clouded eyes, he slumped onto a chair at the table. "Morning, Roger," he mumbled as he poured coffee into his cup. Putting his glasses on, he blinked a few times before taking a sip of the hot liquid. "Morning, random-chick-who-I-don't-know."

A second passed as Mark took another sip of his coffee before spitting it out all over the table. "What the hell?!"

Mark knocked over his chair as he stood in alarm. Screaming girlishly, he backed away from the girl sitting in the corner. Mimi jumped up from the couch to hide behind Roger, who had knocked over his coffee cup and was now wielding a knife.

"Who the fuck are you and why are you in our house?!"

The girl sitting in the corner sipped from her cup calmly. "Don't worry, Roger. I'm not going to hurt you or anything."

Roger surveyed the calm girl. She sat Indian-style on the chair. A paper coffee cup was placed on the floor in front of her, and a blue notebook was nestled in her lap. Thick, black glasses rested heavily on her nose. Honey-blonde hair hung in loose strands, tucked behind her ears. He could see a pen sticking out of her closed hand.

He lowered the knife cautiously. "How do you know my name?"

Her eyes widened and she smirked.

"Oh my god!" Mark screamed. "She's one of those—those fangirls!" Mark grabbed Roger's shoulders and shook them. "I don't want to be mauled to death, Roger! Save me!"

Before Roger could react (and honestly, how could you blame him?), the girl in the corner crossed the room quickly, smacking the back of Mark's head.

"Ow! Fuck!"

"Would a fangirl do that?"

Mark paused. "If you aren't a fangirl, what are you?"

The girl grinned and stuck out her hand. "M'name's Becky, and I'm a fanfiction author."

Thunder rumbled in the background.

Mark and Roger made no effort to shake Becky's hand. Mimi groaned, "Boys," and shook the girl's hand.

"Well, now that that's settled; let's get this party started! Ohh, Sammyyy!" she called. Suddenly, another girl appeared, holding a toothbrush in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in another. She appeared to be wearing pajamas.

"…huh?" The toothbrush and tube of toothpaste fell to the ground. "What's going on?" Her eyes scanned the room, landing on Roger. "Oh my… is this a dream?"

Becky shook her head. "Nope."

Sammy blinked in awe. "Then… that's…" she drifted off.

"Roger Davis," Becky finished for her.

Sammy's eyes glazed over and a goofy smile spread across her face.

"Um, is she okay?" Mark circled her hesitantly. She didn't move.

"Sammy? Saaammmyyyy?" Becky snapped her fingers. Sammy still didn't move.

Mimi whispered, "Did she have a stroke?" Sammy began to drool.

"Eww." Becky shook her. Some drool dripped onto the floor. "I think her brain melted…"

Mark waved his hands in front of her face. She didn't take her eyes off of Roger.

"Hey, Roger? Do you know any Jovi songs?"

Roger blinked. "Why?"

Becky shook her head. "Just play one."

Hesitantly, Roger grabbed his guitar and began to play.

"I been knocked down so many times,

Counted out 6, 7, 8, 9,

Written off like some bad deal,

If you're breathing you know how it feels,

Call it karma, call it luck

Me, I just don't give a—"

Suddenly, Sammy snapped back to reality and began to sing.

"Bounce, bounce, nothing's gonna keep me down,

Bounce, bounce, stand up, shout it out,

Bounce, bounce, I play hard, I play to win,

Count me out, count me in

I'll be bouncing back again!"

"Huh. Well, that worked."

Sammy grinned and bounded towards Roger, but before she was able to reach him, Mimi stepped in her way. Sam stepped to the left (to the left, to the left!). Mimi intercepted her. A low rumbling filled the room.

"Did she just… growl?"

Mark, Roger, and Becky stared at the two girls. Indeed, the rumbling noise was coming from the curly-haired Sammy. Her upper lip was raised, baring her teeth, her eyes were narrowed into slits, and she was growling like a dog guarding its dinner.

"Uh-oh. This can't be good."

Dun dun dunn…

To be continued…

Well, what do you think so far? Honestly, I have no idea where I'm going with this. I could use some help. Should I continue, or should I just scrap the whole thing? If I do continue, where should I take it from here?

Reviews and feedback, please and thank you.

-Twisted