The Genie
There she sat on her laptop computer. She was geeky, had glasses and wore headgear. Her name was Faith. Now, Faith wasn't all geeky. In fact, she had a bit of nerd in her as well. Meaning she took AP classes and aced the tests without even trying. Yes, she was one of those people. The kind of person that made you want to rip out your own overgrown winter coat of leg hairs one by one and gag yourself with a spoon. Or a knife, whichever one was more painful. Anyways, she was right in the middle of putting the finishing touches to her fan-fiction crossover of Harry Potter and Fifty Shades of Grey, when she saw an advertisement for a "Life sized Tardis." Now, for those of you who have lives outside of Netflix, the "Tardis" is a time machine that Dr. Who travels around in. And no, that isn't his real name. Anyways, Faith wasn't at all impressed with this "life sized Tardis" because the colour of the one in the ad was only a measly dark blue instead of the proper "midnight" blue. As she scrolled down on her high tech computer, she looked up at her Dr. Who cardboard cut-out in the corner. Other than the kissy marks all over it, she thought it was the most beautiful piece of processed tree she had ever seen. Did I mention she was a lonely girl? In all fairness to Faith, she had only written ten fan-fictions about her and the tenth doctor being romantically involved. Did I mention she was lonely? I mean her atrocious body odor, complete with her less than feminine features certainly wasn't helping. After she closed the shameful, incorrectly colored ad, another one popped up. But this one was different. This one was about starving children in third world countries. "Those are some butt ugly kids" she sighed. "Uglier than me." As Faith put her mouse at the top right of the screen to close the ungodly advertisement, yet ANOTHER one popped up. It had a picture of an electric lamp that read, "Magic lamps are real. Click for free wish (not a scam)." Faith could just smell the bull crap reeking out of it. "It's a scam." Faith paused and looked up at her handsome piece of cardboard. She couldn't help but think, "What if it isn't?" She looked up at the Doctor and into his faded, deep brown eyes. She imagined having a conversation with her one, true love. The imaginary Doctor gently whispered in her ear, "But baby, you could really have me if you just clicked on that one pop up." Faith earnestly replied, "But babe, I think it's a virus." "Faithy poo, if you really love me, you'll click on that pop up." "But Doctor, you're not real." "Yes I am, you know it. You always have. Now click on the freaking pop up." Faith sat at the computer and realized that her years of expensive therapy were a big fat waste of money. She shamefully clicked on the picture of the lamp when her computer froze. "Well crap, I was right." she murmured under her breath. To her horror, the computer read "virus download complete, sucker." While she sat there cursing at herself and the computer, a person climbed out of her laptop. A woman that was wearing what looked like a sparkly-pink-skanky-genie Halloween costume. Her hair was black and tied up into one of those awful top-of-the-head ponytails (it oddly reminded Faith of a horse lifting its tail to relieve itself). Faith screamed bloody murder, and the woman walked up to her. "I am the grand and powerful genie of Wheretheheckistan. I have come here to grant you one wish." Faith stared in shock at the inappropriately dressed woman. "Um, can it be anything?" "Why yes, of course." Said the genie in complete monotone. While still in absolute monotone, she said "It can be anything you desire. World peace, the end of world hunger, the end to your daddy issues by having your father not leave your mother for somebody young enough to be your sister…" "I wish the Doctor loved me" Faith blurted. The genie flinched in disgust and felt abnormally uncomfortable. "Please tell me you didn't say what I think you said…" "Make him love me!" The genie took her anti-depressant pill as she groaned, "This is why I got downgraded to one wish." The genie snapped her fingers and Faith was now on a beach. She looked around, and saw the tenth doctor with his trench coat on and his beautifully spiked hair. He slowly glanced back at her. The two of them ran towards each other, as faith jumped into the fictional characters arms and he swept her off her feet. "I've missed you so much, Faith!" She was in total shock. But Faith was ready for this day to come. She wasted no time. "Oh, Doctor, I don't know what to say! Well, except I do. Doctor, I love you. And I have for a long time now. I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Faith got down on one knee and fumbled around in her pocket for her emergency proposal soda can tab. "Doctor, will you marry me?" The doctor looked her deep in her poop colored eyes and felt enormous pity. "I'm sorry, Faith. But I can't. I only love you as a FRIEND." Faith woke up in her bed, sobbing. "Not even in my dreams!"