The knife digs deeper into the pale flesh of his wrist, slowly the green blood that flows through him begins to seek freedom, another one of those thoughts had snuck into his mind, but he will not allow himself to give into them. The pain grows stronger and stronger with each passing second and as it builds, he quickly realizes what he's always known, he will never be one of them, the defenders of the realms, the chosen ones, he has no destiny, he will never face that one great threat that promises to end everything if that one brave being doesn't stand up to it, and he doesn't care. His masters have all fallen, the promises that were never going to come to fruition are gone, his hope is gone but without that hope, the darkness that has clouded every thought and action since Shao Kahn stole him from his life has been lifted.
His thoughts drift to her, his one chance at happiness, the one who gave her life to release him from servitude, and to save their people, which is what he thought he'd been fighting for since before any of the Earthrealmers were born, since before Outworld had claimed Edenia as it's latest victim and Shao Kahn tore apart the life of his eventual savior. She was called Khameleon by her enemies and once upon a time, she was called Ri'va by her parents, she found him during Shao Kahn's attempted invasion of Earthrealm and told him the truth, she was the first person in his life to tell him the truth, he can still remember the taste of her flesh. He regrets what he did, after her majesty freed him, that was the first thing he felt, as the memories of the deaths that he's caused, the pain, the suffering, and everything that he did as a monster came flooding to the forefront of his mind. He can't lie to himself, he knows he is still a monster, but he's a better monster. Queen Sindel took pity on him as a monster, she was the first among any of his masters to feel anything for him besides contempt and with that single act, he became more devoted to her then he'd ever been devoted to his other masters, they were simply a way of having what was taken returned to him. Khameleon's magnificent smile comes back into his mind's eye, he stole that smile from the world. The dagger's blade slides out of his flesh, it's serrated edge catching and tearing, causing more pain then it ever did on the way in, he closes his eyes and mentally climbs inside his wound, inside his pain, each drop of blood takes him farther and farther away from his past.
The sun shines angrily through the small window of the room he wishes he hadn't gone to the trouble of renting, Zhang Zao isn't much for exports and it's residents just barely survived through their own agriculture so it was surprising to find an inn there, but the state of his room revealed what he had suspected, it was in total disarray, the bedding eaten away by various critters, large collections of dead bugs near the window, even the wooden frame of the bed seemed to have been affected by abuse, but he didn't care at the time, it was warm and it was as close to safe as he'd been in weeks, the small amount of koins that Queen Sindel had given him as he set off to make a new life for himself was quickly running out and he regrets renting it, but there's nothing he can do about it now. He slowly regains consciousness as the sun continues it's steady barrage on his eyes
His self-inflicted wounds weren't enough to kill him, of course, they had healed almost completely while he slept. He had started cutting himself as a way to ensure that he didn't follow familiar rabbits down more familiar holes, but recently, it's become a way of escaping when it becomes too much for him, it being life. It's amazing what a little possession will do to a person or in his case, a monster.