In the land of the U.S.A (haha Party in the USA), there once was a short person named Bilbo Baggins. He was very plump with a good personality. He had a nephew named Frodo. Frodo was a dweeb. The only one who really like Frodo was Sam Gamgee. {They were very, very close friends. ;) }
So one day, they were chillin' #yolo in Bilbo's garage for his 111th b-day. (#lifegoals) So then their good old (literally) friend Gandalf the Grey came out of the forest by Bilbo's house. He has a nice beard. His best friend is Saruman but he's not very important right now.
For Bilbo's 111th b-day, the neighbors would come to Bilbo's garage and nag at him relentlessly. Then, he put a magical ring-pop on, and became invisible/invincible. Gandalf was hacked off, so he went to Bilbo's garage and yelled at him. Bilbo didn't give a s***. (honeybadger reference.)
Suddenly, Bilbo was very possessive of his ring-pop. He made a scary derp face. Gandalf was greatly disturbed.
He said, "Yo, yo, what's your problem dude?"
Bilbo replied, "MY PRECIOUS!"
He then left the ring-pop and left with a stick in his hands. Gandalf gave him the finger.
Frodo the freakin' ring-master (not really, lol) came back and was like, "Where's Bilbo at?"
"I don't know man, but you got a destiny of totally dangerous stuff." #riskylifetho. "And watch out, there's a little f***tard named Gollum."