Just a short story that came to mind as I was listening to 'Dust to Dust' by The Civil Wars. I hope you like it.
Dust to Dust
Sara closed her eyes, shutting out the bright lights that filled the large room. She didn't want to be here, this wasn't 'her thing', she would only spend an hour making uncomfortable conversation with colleagues she barely knew before making her excuses and going home to drink by herself.
Opening her eyes slowly, she plastered a fake smile on her lips and headed towards her assigned drinking table. The venue for this year's summer lab party was 'Ghostbar', a large lounge bar that served over-priced cocktails and thought it was much more important than it is. Sara greeted the four colleagues she was set to spend the evening with, unfortunately they were all from day shift and therefore had little interest in communicating with Sara. On second thought, Sara was a little relieved to not feel compelled to talk to them.
Deciding not to break-up their conversation and offer them drinks, Sara turned to find the bar. The venue was busy, it was easy to forget how many members of staff worked at the lab at various points throughout the working week. A couple of people nodded their hellos to her as they passed, and she reciprocated the action, whilst not stopping to talk to anyone.
Dressed in a pair of denims, her work boots and a white shirt, Sara had thought as she left her apartment that she had made an effort, but now here, eyeing the dresses and flamboyant hair styles of the other females, she felt a little self-conscious at her obvious lack of effort.
She leant up against the black, metal bar and watched the many bar staff shaking cocktails and throwing glasses up in the air in the hope of condoning the prices of the drinks they were about to serve. The bar area itself was lit with soft purple lights and was the most lit area of the whole room. Sara wasn't sure purple was the most flattering colour to cast people in.
A barman smiled at her, "What can I get you?"
"A beer." Sara replied, searching her jeans pockets for cash.
The man nodded and pulled a bottle of beer from the fridges, uncapping it and placing it on the bar in front of her. "$7.00 please."
Sara raised her eyebrows at the price, but paid anyway, taking a sip of the cold beverage as the barman got her her change.
"Hey stranger."
Sara looked to her right hand side to see Catherine lean on the bar next to her. "Hey."
A playful smile was across Catherine's lips, which Sara noted before taking in the rest of her appearance. She was wearing a tight, black dress that revealed just enough cleavage and just enough leg to be wonderfully enticing, six inch black heels completed the look. "You on a table full of day-shifters?"
"Yes. Why?" Sara took her change from the barman.
"Martini please," Catherine placed her drinks order, before turning a little more to the side to face Sara. "I am too. I think Ecklie's even trying to split us all up when we're not at work."
Sara gave a little laugh, "Yeah, maybe."
"Will you keep me company?" Catherine asked, catching Sara's gaze and holding it for a second, before taking her martini from the barman and handing over her credit card. "I've seen Nick and Greg round here somewhere but I think they've got their eyes on a few ladies, I'd rather not cramp their style."
"Sure, I'll have a drink with you… but I'm not staying for long." Sara couldn't allow herself to have more than one drink with Catherine. Alcohol would only allow her to say too much.
Catherine pouted, "I've got my mum taking care of Lindsey for the entire night, please humour me and keep me out til at least 11pm."
Sara wanted to make an excuse, say she had to get home for something, but she couldn't come up with anything quick enough. "Okay, fine."
Catherine grinned, placing her credit card into her handbag and turning away from the bar. Sara followed, bottle in hand, through the crowds and out towards the balcony that overlooked the Vegas Strip.
"It's a shame Brass and Ray couldn't make it." Catherine made conversation as they lent up against the railings and looked across the Vegas night sky.
"Yeah, it is." Sara played with the wedding band on her finger, tearing her eyes away from the curves that Catherine was making against the rails. Truth be told, she felt like she wasn't even married anymore. She and Grissom were too far apart, not just geographically, but emotionally. She didn't know if they'd ever be able to connect again.
"Are you okay, Sara?" Catherine turned her attention from the horizon to the woman next to her.
Sara nodded, aware that even though they were outside, the venue was still crowded. Now really wasn't the time for a heart-to-heart. "I'm fine."
Catherine lent in close to her and put her mouth to her ear, "I can tell something's wrong, and I know what it is." She pulled away before taking a sip of her martini, not breaking eye contact with her.
Sara felt her cheeks blush. There was no way Catherine would be able to tell. She knew she hadn't been that obvious with her feelings. Although at times Sara had convinced herself that Catherine had played with her: unbuttoning her blouse an extra button in the car, or leaning over to examine evidence in such way that made Sara's knees go weak. But no, it was coincidence.
"There's nothing wrong." Sara lied. Forcing a smile across her face.
Catherine pursed her lips, "I don't believe you."
It's not your eyes
It's not what you say
It's not your laughter that gives you away
You're just lonely
You've been lonely, too long
The two women went back to staring out at the Vegas landscape, in silence for a few minutes. Sara finished her beer as Catherine finished her cocktail, and Sara slid her fingers over Catherine's glass to take it from her. "Same again?"
Catherine nodded, "Please."
Sara was glad to get lost in the crowds of the inside of the room, weaving in and out of the way of groups of people to get to the bar. Catherine was playing with her mind, either intentionally or not. Sara had admitted to herself a while ago that she had a crush on Catherine, admitting it to herself seemed to have only made her feelings stronger. She felt ridiculous sometimes, like being back at school. She looked forward to going into work to see her; got excited about being on the same cases; texted her and asked questions she already knew the answers too; made her a coffee when she made herself one.
Okay, maybe she had made her feelings quite obvious.
"A martini and a beer please." she ordered. Sara knew, despite Catherine's playful nature this evening, that there was no reason to believe that her feelings were reciprocated, and the best thing she could do was just enjoy the time they would have together this evening, as friends.
A few minutes later, Sara joined Catherine back outside and passed her her cocktail.
"How's Grissom?" Catherine asked, nonchalant.
"I don't really know, we haven't spoken for a week or so." Sara couldn't help but shrug. Their shifts and timezones didn't really match up and neither of them had offered to get up early or stay up late to be able to speak to the other one.
"Do you not find the apartment weird on your own?"
"I guess I'm kind of use to it now. I lived on my own before Grissom and I were together, it's the same now as it was then."
Catherine placed a hand on Sara's arm, "I'd always imagined that you and Grissom would be inseparable once you were together. Not thousands of miles away from each other, and barely speaking."
Sara felt tears build up in her eyes and she closed them quickly to avoid the tears from gushing down her cheeks.
All your actin'
Your thin disguise
All your perfectly delivered lies
They don't fool me
You've been lonely, too long
Catherine laced her fingers with Sara's, "I'm sorry I didn't meant to upset you."
Sara took a deep breath before opening her eyes, "I'm sorry. I just didn't expect our marriage to turn out like this." She felt a tear slip down her face.
Catherine placed her martini down on a nearby table and wiped the tear from her cheek softly.
"I didn't expect to fall in love with someone else." The minute Sara said it, she both wished she hadn't, and felt a wave of relief that she had.
With her fingers entwined with Catherine's, and Catherine's soft hand cupping her face, this was all too intimate and if Catherine hadn't caught onto Sara's feelings before, she did now.
Sara closed her eyes again, she couldn't bear the intensity of Catherine's gaze. She expected to feel Catherine let go of her hand, and leave her, but instead she felt the warmth of her lips against hers. Their kiss was short but full of all the emotions Sara had pent up for months.
Once their lips had parted, Catherine took Sara's other hand in hers. "You're not on your own anymore, Sara"
Let me in the wall, you've built around
And we can light a match and burn it down
Let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flame
In front of us
Dust to Dust