She can not be in love with him. She just can't. He's her best friend's ex-boyfriend and a current fiancé of a member of her pack. She would never call her a friend, that would mean she actually likes her. When in fact, she can barely tolerate her. Nonetheless they are engaged and she is a lot of things but a home wrecker isn't one of them. So no, she can not have any romantic feelings for him. He's her alpha; of course she'd feel strongly about him. However as soon as her eyes land on him she knows that she can't deny it. She's seriously screwed.
'Hey, are you okay?' Erica's concerned voice breaks her from her thoughts.
They were going to have a girl's night. A girl's night was safe. Of course Kira would be there but at least Scott wouldn't. Well that was before the guys decided to crash their party. Now, Stiles and Malia are in the kitchen making some food; Allison and Isaac are arguing about what movie to watch; Erica and Derek are broken up at the moment so they just sit as far away from eachother as possible and Scott is cuddled up with Kira on the loveseat. She doesn't do jealous; she's Lydia Martin thank you very much. Except that she does with him, and she hates it more than anything. Especially that looking at them makes her literally want to throw up.
'Yeah, I just zoned out.' She smiles apologetically to the blonde. Of course Erica, being Erica doesn't believe her. She eyes her up and down with a raised eyebrow. 'Seriously, I'm fine. I just got a lot on my mind right now.' She tries to sound convincing.
'Erica can we talk?' Apparently Derek finally decides to cave in and apologize and Lydia can't be more grateful./p
'I'm not finished with you' Erica points at her before walking off.
She tries not to look at them. She really does. But they're sitting next to Allison, who the redhead is trying to have a conversation with, and her eyes instinctively drift towards them. They're kissing now. No, not kissing, making out. The horrible taste in her mouth is back, this time accompanied with burning in her eyes. She digs her fingernails into the palm of her hand, knowing that if she'll stay there for another second, she'll scream. So she does the only thing she can think of; before anyone realises what's going on, she mumbles something about fresh air and leaves.
As soon as the doors close behind her, she takes a deep breath. What the fuck is wrong with her? She has to get a grip on herself. Acting like this os dangerous. Especially with half of the pack being able to sense her emotions. She knows that she has to do something, anything to get rid of these feelings before anyone notices them.
She jumps at the sound of his voice. 'What's going on Lyds?' Of course out of all people, he has to be the one who checks up on her.
'Nothing, it's just really stuffy in there.' Her voice quivers; god why does she have to become such a horrible liar now.
He grabs her by the arm and spoons her around. 'I can hear your heartbeat' he states. 'I know when you're lying.' She turns her head so that she doesn't look at him.
'You know you can trust me. If you don't tell me I won't be able to help you' his voice is pleading now.
How can she tell him that she has feelings for him? She can't. But apparently she can't lie to him either so she twists the truth a little. 'Seeing everyone happy and in love while I'm on my own it's really difficult' she says. It's not entirely false. It is difficult to see him with Kira.
'Aww Lyds' he hugs her. 'You should have said something sooner.' He sounds relieved. He clearly didn't expect it to be something so...normal.
Her hands wrap around his neck as he pulls her closer. She savours this moment, knowing that she's going to have to stay away from him for a while. At least until she learns how to be around him again.