Disclaimer: Don't own General Hospital.
Pairings: Onesided Liason, slight mention of Journey.
Warnings: Slight bastardization of Courtney. I do like her, it's just that Elizabeth doesn't.
Author's Note:
I decided not to make a Liason companion oneshot to my LuSam. Not because of dislike for the pairing or anything like that. It was simply because I felt that writing Liason in with the LuSam would 'intrude' on the situation I'd already created. Less confusingly put, I didn't think that Liason would be appropriate alongside with this particular LuSam oneshot. I know, doesn't make much sense to me either. I guess you can say that I didn't feel like it.
So to make up for it, I wrote this short Liason oneshot that isn't related to the LuSam one. It doesn't take place during the current storyline, but the one back with Courtney in that brief period where Liz was envious of Journey. It isn't happy in the beginning, middle, or end.
Elizabeth has dust in her studio, because she won't touch her paintings. She thinks that she'll paint when she gets that so called inspiration, but deep down that's not how it is. It's much more simple. The fact that she can't even lift her brush, even look at her canvas, tells her how much wallowing in self-pity has ruined the passion in her life.
It's unlikely that she'll stop, though. It hurts her to keep on walking down the street and look past Jason when she sees him, because she sees him with Courtney. They walk together down streets that are only big for just the two of them.
And she, and she, and she, and she-
Elizabeth is an outsider. Courtney and Jason are happy, and in love, and probably want to "spend the rest of their lives together" and all Elizabeth wants to do is cry. It's unfair how she can lose so easily to a woman who has waltzed her way into Jason's mind/heart/freaking everything else, whereas she's built years of friendship with Jason.
Now she's just being sad. She knows it wasn't like that, because she had walked her way out of Jason's sphere miles ago, before Courtney even set a foot in. Courtney wasn't even a bad person, and probably made Jason feel all sorts of mushy stuff. And so what if she was bad? In Port Charles, people wouldn't have blinked an eye.
But darnit, Jason doesn't even really acknowledge her nowadays. Oh sure, he hasn't gone out of his way to ignore or avoid her. He says hi. Often. Sometimes. Then, hardly.
Of course, it's not like she's looked back either. Elizabeth isn't completely stupid, and knows that Ric's been giving her the eye and knows that she's been giving the eye right back. Her heart isn't quite in it yet.
She remembers the shy glances that Jason and her often exchanged, before. The almost sickingly sweet romance that was blossoming between them. Of course, it hardly progressed beyond a talk about getting together and one or two kisses. It went virtually nowhere.
So, Elizabeth has reason to feel a little sorry for herself. Or wait, no she doesn't. She really has no reason at all.
Maybe that's why she's still pining. Maybe that's why, when she finds it too hard for her to even think of painting because she thinks of painting Jason, she allows a few fantasies. Her and Jason making love, getting married, having kids, growing old together, and every little milestone in between.
It doesn't amount to anything, but she doesn't need it to be.
She hopes that honestly, Courtney's happy with Jason. Because being happy with Jason is hard. Maybe Elizabeth just wasn't up for the challenge. Yeah, that's probably why Jason and her never had a chance. She didn't want it enough.
(Elizabeth wanted it.)
"Elizabeth?"
She takes her mind away from her bitterness, and blinks at Jason, standing before her and looking at her like he doesn't know her beyond name.
"I just, came to say hi. Courtney told me that she had something to do with Carly, and so I thought to come by and see you, because I haven't seen you in a while."
He stands, looking exactly like he did the last time she was saw, and what she really wants to do is spit on him and kiss him. Elizabeth isn't going to stop for a while, but she hopes that 'a while' is ending soon. A bit of her is sick of not painting and not feeling like art, and she hopes that eventually Jason will just coming to visit period, because he makes it all harder.
What Elizabeth wants most of all, wants more than Jason, is to stop Being Here. Being Here means that Jason still knows her but doesn't know her. Men suck, but it would be a punishment worse than death to turn away. Her ponderings in whether or not men feel this way don't exist, because they Aren't There. Jason. Look away. Walk. Die. Disappear, because Elizabeth is going to disappear first.
She's weak that way.
end.
Not much to say. Very angsty I suppose, and when I attempt to bring out real sad angst I usually use present tense. I'm SORRY that it's so short.