A glare with that much hatred could kill if you stood in it's path for just a second too long.
John Cena apparently was willing to evaperate because he was in the glare's path, willingly. He was glaring back even. He must have had a death wish or something. Those blue eyes filled with hatred, so much hatred. And beneith that, just the tiniest hint was agony.
"Don't ever try to come near me when we're not working," Randy Orton hissed. "Actually, don't expect me to be professional when we work together at all." Randy let his glare go and walked off towards the locked room. "Not like you deserve any better, Cena."
Cena's nose flared and his fists tighted. "At least listen to me!"
The Viper turned fluidly as he would in the ring, but this was real anger, real wrath, real animosity. "Listen to what!?" If wasn't for that fact the low growl was given in the situation they were in now, John might just have liked it. Randy rolled his eyes. He took a step back towards Cena and pointed a finger at the accused. "Listen to some shitty excuse about how you fucked some bitch. What excuse could you have Cena? I caught you! You can't just sell me one of your political smiles and think I'll believe it." He turned back to going to the locker room. "Just back to your ringrat whore."
Cena followed him. What could he say. Cena never gave up, in the ring and in real life. The door to Orton's locker room nearly slammed in his face. John stopped and took a breath to calmhimself. He needed to be rational talking to Randy. There was no other way. He took another deep breath. Another. Then sighed and walked into the unlocked room.
Randy sat unexpectedly on the bench, head in his hands. He didn't even move when Cena came in, though the older man was positive he knew he was there. John locked the door behind him. They needed privacy. He also didn't want Randy to keep avoiding him.
Orton was certain today, after years of knowing eachother and throwing tantrums at John in hopes the man wouldn't ever want to be by his side, he might just finally be rid of him. Hopefully. Randy mused on how from the very beginning of their friendship, Orton didn't want Cena near him. He was afraid that something more would come of it.
Something did come of it to Orton's dismay. He never wanted this, to feel this way. He hated Cena.
He wanted to hate Cena.
He couldn't hate Cena.
He prayed he could hate Cena.
But he couldn't.
Cena wormed his way in and he wouldn't get out, even when the Champ was in the wrong.
He knew!
Cena knew. Cena knew how Orton felt. He knew and instead of clear simple yes or no to Orton's awkward affections, Cena just avoided it at all costs.
Well if he was going to avoid Randy's inapporpriate feelings then Orton was sure as fucking hell not going to pay attention to Cena's needless and ironic excuses.
John swallowed hard. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say. He was pretty sure if he didn't choose his words carefully Orton might just actually punt in his head. In ring move or not, that shit still stung like a bitch. Either way, plan or no plan -he had no plan, alright, no plan, pretty sure his last plan was a fucking disaster, Goddammit Cena, get your shit together!- Cena walked to stand right infront of the man who confessed his feelings to him just a month ago. He grimaced. This is going to get either really awkward or really painful.
"Look," Cena started, "I know I'll sound like some cliche, but it's not exactly what it looked like."
"Oh for the love of God, John! Do I look like a fucking dumbass to you?" Randy sighed. This was giving him a big headache. He should have never walked into Cena's bus the way he did. He knocked and no one answered. He just wanted to finally try and talk to Cena. Maybe if he cornered the man in the bus he would have no choice but to just shoot Randy down like he wished. And no one answered, so Randy was about to turn around and leave for his own bus when Cena's driver came walking his way from some store nearby and told him Cena was sleeping when he left, just go right in. It wasn't the first time over these years, you know. The driver already knew it was okay. Not the guys fault that Orton walked in on more than Cena sleeping.
He was definately in bed. But not sleeping. Far from it. He was awake and in action. Action. Moving. Thrusting. Grunting. Sweating. Naked. In the glory of the greek Gods. Randy just wanted to cry at the fact that he should have been pissed off right at first sight of what was happening, bust the sight of Cena's gorgeous ass bouncing in time with thrusts was pretty mesmorizing.
And then he snapped out of it. He realized what he was witnessing and with balled fists and a knot in his throat, he turned away and left. No words given. Just a broken look in his eyes as he walked past the driver smoking a cigarette near a lamp post some feet away. No words given as he walked bcak to his bus, grabbed duffel bag and hit the gym near by. No words given when he got back to his bus and his driver said Cena had been searching for him. No words given when Orton got his ring gear and walked into the arena with a dark aura around him. Rookies who usually flocked to him with questions, looking for advice, took a step back as he just sauntered to his private locker room, the two championship belts in his hands.
After Randy spoke, he stayed quiet, waiting for more. It wasn't long before Randy just looked up at him -finally those blue eyes, no anger... instead defeat. Bittersweet defeat. John wanted to say something. He knew better. With that glare turned to him again, different but just as deadly, John knew he should just keep his mouth shut and wait for the flood to drown him.
Randy looked like he was thinking of what to say. His mouth opening a little before shutting. When the mouth opened again it gave a humourless laugh. "Years ago when I met you, Cena, I knew I was either meeting someone who would be in my life for as long as I live or someone I would never want to even look at. I'm still not sure which one it's going to be.
"I never wanted this, you know? I was supposed to meet the right girl, get married, have a family, grow old, watch my kid become a forth generation superstar. I was never supposed to fall in love with someone I never wanted to even like." Randy leaned his mouth on his right fist, the left clenching the bench he sat on. "I wanted so badly for this not to happen. I really did. But you can't help it, huh? Love blows."
Cena watched with a blank face as his old friend cleared his throat, moved his hand from his face and flexed his jaw. His blue eyes followed as Randy stood up and walked a few steps, no aim in mind, he just had to move. This was becoming so much more then he thought it would. Randy was being extremely serious. The only other times John Cena had ever seen his friend this serious had been only twice. Once when they were rookies, before the drugs, when Orton would hang on to every word Triple H and Ric Flair said to him. The second time was last month when Randy asked him to come with him to get a beer and then after about 3 beers he confessed more then friendship to him. Randy had put it as I have a love/hate relationship with you. I Love you and I hate myself for it.
"I think you're going to have to leave. I don't want to be near you right now."
Cena snapped from his thoughts of that night and glared at Randy. "You don't want to be near me because I had sex with someone? Are you kidding me? What is it you thought I did before? Experience the magic of numbing up my left hand and sitting on my bus twiddling my thumbs. You knew I had sex. Now you can't even look at me?" Cena was getting pissed. Randy needed to man up. ...THough John had a hard time following his own advice for the last month while he dodged a conversation with the viper every second he could.
Finally Randy broke. "I don't want to be near you because no matter how hard I try I still love you, even now," Randy practically cried as he tore his eyes from a spot on the wall infront of him and looked over his unrequited love. "I can't turn it off, John. I look at you and I get so pissed at myself. Out of all people to be attracted to I just had to be attracted to you! And no matter what you do, avoid me, screw some ring rat in front of me, or look at me the way you are right now, pitying me, I just can't stop it. That's why I don't want you near me, so maybe I can just try and forget about you. I want to forget you. I wish I never met you!"
Randy was slammed up against the locker room wall the next thing he knew, John Cena cornering him with an intense stare. Ha! Randy wasn't the only one with looks that can kill.
Cena shook his head. "You just keep saying how you don't want to love me and you hate me, but could you at least let me talk."
Randy gave a sad smirk. "For the first time in a month outside of work, you finally have something to say to me. I had to catch you porking some rat for you talk to me again. It's funny, really." Randy closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. "This is like some stupid shit messed up dream."
"Well then wake the hell up and look at me." The order from the older man made Randy sigh and open his eyes to the man before him. "You are such an inconsiderate jerk-off. Putting this shit on me out of no where. One minute you're one of my best friends, next you're telling me you love me in a public bar after a couple drinks, and at first I thought you were just ribbing me. But lo and behold, the great Randy Orton picks the worst time to do something to people. You have the worst intentions I swear."
Randy's jaw clenched. He deserved it, in his opinion. He was stupid enough to confess something as ridiculous as something like this to someone the way he did. He was such a moron.
"God, how the fuck did we both end up attracted to eachother and not know." John dropped his arms and folded them over his broad chest.
Randy might have pulled something the way his head whipped up to look at Cena, he ignored the pain of whiplash and stared at the other man. "What?"
"Years and years, I denied any kind of feelings I had for you. And then you just up and decide to fuck everything up and tell me you have feelins for me to. You son of a bitch, you think I don't feel the same way. Everyday it was like I was absolutely torn to peices seeing you with someone else, all the girls you have been with over the years. You are such a dick." John shook his head again.
Randy picked himself off the wall and took an offensive step towards John. "I told you how I felt a month ago! If you felt the same fucking way why the hell are we in this predicament right now? Why did I have to run around every arena looking for you, to at least get a solid fuck off? You let me feel so defeated. You felt the same way and you still fucked some rat in your bus today like nothing even happened!" He threw his tattooed arms in the air. "Stop fucking with me and just tell me the truth Cena!"
Randy's yelling hurt Cena's ears in the silent locker room. But it's not like Cena was going to tell him to squiet down at the moment. Not the best option at the moment.
"You scared the fucking shit out of me, Randy," Cena argued back, keeping as calm as he could. "I ran because I was confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. You tell me something like that, did you just want me to grab you and kiss you? I thought about it. That would go so fucking well don't you think?" It was john's turn to throws his hands up in defeat.
The older man ran his palm across his nose as his walked away, then crossing his arms over his chest again. He looked like he was about to say the most difficult thing he could ever muster. By the way he was taking deep breaths and looking at anything other then the other man, Randy knew it was something big. Cena was finally going to let Randy go, shoot him down, crush his feelings and let Randy whither away.
Or not.
"I was scared."
John was the defeated one now.
Randy let his shoulder drop from their tense position, the place they were held in since Cena found him earlier. The anger, the demise, the annoyance, everything fell from mind for a second and Randy just looked at Cena.
The strong jaw ticked. "I've been scared about this whole loving you since the very start. You wanted a family and that's why you didn't want this. I just didn't want to ruin our lives over something I'm not sure will last."
Randy sent back on the bench and laced his hand infront of his face.
John turned to him and held his arms out like he was welcoming any kind of salvation any second. "This is a difficult world to have the top two guys turn out to be in love with eachother. The whole thing could ruin us."
Randy cleared his throat, afraid of what his voice would sound like right now, and said, "Darren Young got plenty positivity."
"Darren Young isn't the face of WWE dating the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Randy!" John yelled. "This is a different level. We already get tons of hatred and crazy fans. If something like this became public, ... all I can think about is you getting hurt in all of this.
"I never told you anything because I just never wanted to see you get hurt in the end. I didn't want your future fucked up because I love you."
Randy didn't know what to focus on anymore. John was afraid that confessing to him would turn out bad for them. John also just said he loved him. Randy hated himself even more. If he never met John Cena all those years ago, careers and attractions would not be put on the line like this. Randy bowed his head. "I'm going to quit."
"What?" John asked, giving a confused face at Orton. "That's just as bad. If you retire or I retire for a relationship McMahon would murder us both."
"No," Randy shook his head. "I don't mean I'll leave for us to be together. I'll leave and we'll forget all about this. Your career is everything to you. If I ruined that for you, I'd never live with myself. So I'll go. This never happended. We'll move on. I never wanted this in the first place, this will just correct the wrongs."
"Go fuck yourself!" John screamed at him. He turned around and slammed his fist in the wall. The calm and collected JOhn Cena was gone for a second before being brought back and cena took a deep breath, clenched his jaw tight and looked back at Randy. "I'll say it again, you are an inconsiderate dick."
Randy just stared at him.
"Do you really think any option from now on with be anything but hell and back for us. Whether you stay here with me or leave me for the rest of our lives, it's not going to be a piece of pie. At least if you stay we can survive this as best we can. If you left I'm not sure what would happen."
With a look up to the ceiling Cena put his hands on his hips and sighed. "I want us to be together. I've thought about it enough to know I want it. Even if I had to sit at your wedding I would be okay, because you would at least be there. I just didn't want to tell you and let everything just fuck up." A second passed. No one spoke but Cena sat beside Orton, space between them. "Shit hit the fan, man, and now we have to clean it up."
"So what do we do?" Randy asked, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"I slept with that woman today to try and prove myself I can go on and live the way I was before you told me you loved me." John said, he needed to explain everything. "I realized it was impossible. You told me you loved me and now I can't live a lie. This is some crap rom-com, I swear. Brokeback Wrestling. And when I got cleaned up and she left, I went outside my bus and Gus asked me if everything between you and me was okay, that you had left my bus just a couple minutes before looking like you were ready to kill someone.
"I'm sorry I hurt you," Cena continued. "I never meant you to see that. I never meant for any of this."
"We might just be the only two morons in the world who never wanted to fall in love with eachother and did." Randy replied.
John chuckled. "Only us."
Randy looked over at John and john looked at him about a second after. Their hands inched towards eachother. Over these past years, they have laced fingers in the ring plenty times, they've held eachother in eachother's grasp countless times. Now as Randy's long fingers skimmed lightly over John's hand it was a whole knew experience.
"What do we do now?" Randy repeated, looking John in the blue eyes.
"We stay together." John grabbed Randy's hand firmly. "We take this all one day at a time. It's been years of wondering, we can't rush into this and expect everything to live up to the hype. ... So we figure everything as we go on."
They sat there soaking everything in.
No matter how much they never wanted this, it happened. They fell in love with eachother. It took years of waiting in agony, a tipsy confession, ignoring everything, and a ringrat for them to get to this moment, just sitting next to eachother, holding hands like nervous teenagers.
Randy laughed to himself as a thought entered his mind suddenly. John looked at him with questioning eyes, a soft smile on his face with hearing the other laugh. "What?" Cena asked.
"Do you know how attractive you look fucking?" Randy smirked.
John chuckled.
Tension seeped away from the room and left the two 30-something year old men in a comfortable silence. They sat we their hands together and thier eyes looking at nothing inparticular, thoughts running in thier minds.
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I would never guessed the feelings were mutual." Randy looked over at the other pair of blue eyes. "Feels like I'm just wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happend. I never confessed and we never reached this room to argue together. I feel like I'm going to wake up and figure that I should forget about confessing to you, that I'm just being stupid and let us both go through the rest of our lives go on with out ever knowing what could have been."
John gave his a sad frown. "That hurts to think about more than any of what happened tonight. To think that I could have this and never know about it, I would rather us at least try and fail then never try at all."
"We really are some crappy chick flick," said Randy.
"We could make this some long winded softcore porn if you want, but I advice we wait until tomorrow. It's seriously late and I'm pretty sure if we stay in here any longer we'll be locked in the Dunkin Donuts Center for a couple hours."
Randy rolled his eyes and stood going to get his things to leave, but the hand that was still laced to John's was pulled back with a sharp tug and he nearly fell on the older man. John smirked at him. "Before we go, I need to do something I've wanted to do for a very, very, very long time."
John's loose hand came up to Randy's neck and pulled the gorgeous face down closer to his. Their lips were almost touching. Breaths mingled. Breaths hitched. Lips met. And then someone knocked on the door.
Both men let thier head drop in defeat. After a long second Randy answered the knock with "Yeah, be right out."
"We apparently are being told by God or whatever that we have to go really slow with this," said John.
Randy glared playfully. "That's easy for you to say, you got your rocks off just this morning. It's a couple weeks in my case."
John gave him a sorry look and smirked. "I have a feeling the first time we fuck it's gonna be pretty quick."
They both gave a chuckle, but both also groaned mentally at the possibility of waiting.
"Well," Randy said letting go of John's hand and grabbing his bag and walking towards the door. "I waited ten years, I think a little longer."
They both left the room, the poor WWE coordinator lackie looked at John and told him that Mr. Cena had left already and relayed his goodbyes since no one seemed to be able to find Cena until now. Cena thanked him and then he told Randy to head towards the busses while he got his gear from his room down the hall.
When he reached outside and found Randy leaning against the barricade of the small parking lot for crew and wrestlers, the younger gave him a smile and then openly asked him "So, since we're so new to this, Which of us is the bitch?"
John shook his head and sighed. "A day at a time, Randy. One damn day at a time, okay?"
Hey guys, Thanks for reading, This is for my followers on Tumblr, as a thank you for the follow and such. If you read Virginity gone, I'm still writing for it I promise.
Love Natsuki Lee