Title: Take These Broken Wings

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all...i'm as upset about that as you are.

A/N - Ok this is something new for me, its my first attempt at an Addek fic. Its set late season 2...its what i like to think could have happened had Derek not been such a complete and utter manwhore lol.

If you can imagine a world where Derek realises the mistake he is making being with Mer and ignoring poor Addie...then you can imagine the world that i live in. Welcome, i hope you enjoy your visit haha.

Last but by no means least i want to say a huge thankyou to my beta Suz. Not only did she help me with the fic but she also came up with the title...which she tells me is a song my 'mr mister'. What would i do without you? Thank you hon.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

James Blunt, Goodbye My Lover

Chapter 1 – Goodbye My Lover

Addison stared out of the window watching the rain pour down like crazy. The grey sky outside reflected her mood perfectly. She watched as the water slid down the window pane slowly, her eyes never leaving the droplets but her mind was elsewhere.

It was a habit of hers to over analyze things, Derek was always telling her that she thought too much. No…Derek used to tell her that she thought too much. She couldn't get out of the habit of talking about Derek in the present tense, when she had already decided that they were in the past now. All that was left for her to do was inform him of the decision.

Addison sighed deeply and dragged her eyes away from the rain outside. She reached over and flicked the switch on her desk lamp so the room lit up. She was unsure how long she had been sitting thinking but the room had darkened considerably.

She looked down at the charts on her desk; they were as empty now as when she had first sat down. Addison gathered the papers that were strewn all over the desk in to a neat pile and pushed them in to a draw out of sight. She decided that she wasn't going to get any more work done tonight so she got her coat and headed out of the door.

Addison stepped on to the elevator and leant her head against the cold metal of the wall wearily. She closed her eyes and her thoughts returned to Derek. Suddenly without her even noticing, the doors opened and Derek stepped on to the elevator. Addison opened her mouth to let out a curse at her rotten luck but she managed to close it again just in time.

The look on Derek's face was almost comical as he watched her bang her head off the wall repeatedly. Had she been feeling in a better mood she would have had to laugh.

"Addison? What's wrong?" he questioned her.

"What's wrong? Honestly Derek, the fact that you even need to ask that question tells me that you don't deserve to know the answer," Addison replied shortly.

She had had enough of it. Enough of being the only one in their relationship, if you could call it that, who made any effort at all. Enough of having her heart ripped out of her chest and patched back together again as quickly as possible. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and tried to blink them back furiously.

Derek looked shocked at her outburst and he took a step towards her but Addison stepped away.

"I can't do this right now Derek…in fact I can't do this anymore," Addison said softly.

"Addie, what are you saying? You can't do what anymore? Look you're upset, just calm down and think about this," Derek said as though speaking to a small child.

"Don't tell me to calm down Derek and stop patronising me! You should be happy about this…I'm giving you an out…go be with Meredith," Addison said furiously.

"Addie, come on, we should talk about this. Don't make any rash decisions," Derek said almost pleadingly.

"Fine, you want to talk then talk, I'm listening," Addison turned to look at him while a tear slid down her face. She waited for him to speak but it was silent apart from the rumbling of the elevator.

"Derek, don't you see? There's nothing left to say, "Addison said as she shook her head softly. The elevator grumbled to a halt and the doors pinged open. "I'll stop by the trailer tomorrow to get my stuff. Goodbye Derek," Addison said sadly as she stepped off the elevator.

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Addison drove to the nearest hotel and booked herself in for a few nights. She knew she must look a sight, turning up to a hotel with just the clothes on her back and mascara running down her face. She entered her hotel room and sank down on to the bed as tears overcame her once again.

Had she really just ended her marriage with Derek? Her shoulders shook as she realized the sheer magnitude of what had just happened. She had just severed ties with the love of her life…her husband for 11 years and best friend for even longer than that.

Addison lay down, curled up in the foetal position and cried herself to sleep softly.

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Derek Shepard was angry in a pissed-off, the-whole-world-hates-me-kinda-way. His marriage was officially over leaving him free to pursue the woman he had longed for. But yet…there was something wrong. He felt hollow and empty inside, there was a space in his chest that Addie had always occupied but no longer did.

He shook his head and dragged his thoughts back to the present. Surely the empty feeling would pass when he was back together with Meredith, when things went back to way they were before Addison reappeared in his life.

He tried to focus on the intern standing in front of him.

"Derek? Hello, are you even listening to me?" Meredith asked confused.

"What? Erm, yeah. I'm listening." Derek tried desperately to recall what she had been saying while he was lost in his own thoughts. "Patient…you have a patient right? Ok I'll come along and do a consult now"

"Thanks." Meredith nodded but she still looked confused at his behaviour.

Addison watched the exchange from across the corridor with a sad look on her face. She had woken up that morning determined to make a start getting her life back in order, but her optimism could only take her so far.

Derek had wandered away leaving Meredith standing watching him walk away with a strange look on her face. The scene was so familiar to Addison…how many times had she watched Derek leave. It felt strange to be looking in from the outside, to see herself as other people must have.

"Dr.Grey, can I have a word?" Addison called out.

"Uhmm." To say Meredith looked like a deer caught in the headlights was an understatement. "Okay, Dr.Montgomery-Shepard…"

"Actually I think it will just be Montgomery from now on,"

Meredith looked up at her sharply. Addison sighed at the look of hope on her face.

"What do you mean? You and Der…Dr.Shepard…?" Meredith trailed away in to silence when she noticed the look on Addison's face. "I'm sorry" She muttered quietly.

Addison laughed to herself even though there was nothing remotely funny. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her.

"Dr.Grey, it's hardly your fault. Look what I wanted to say was that Derek and I are over. He gave up on me a long time ago and I was too foolish to realise it. I see that now…and I'm not prepared to keep up the shambles that we call a marriage any longer. So he's all yours…that's it." She finished.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Christina approaching and freezing at the sight of Meredith talking to her. Meredith appeared to be lost in her own thoughts so she nodded to her and then spun around and walked away.

Addison couldn't help but overhear Christina's exclamation of "Mer, what the hell are you doing talking to Satan!" as she walked away. She rolled her eyes at the immaturity of the whole thing.

If she closed her eyes she could easily imagine herself being 13 years old again, wearing her braces and standing alone at the opposite end of the playground to everybody else.

Pulling together every ounce of strength she possessed she kept on walking, pretending that she hadn't heard. Right now she was on damage control…maintaining whatever dignity she had left.

To be continued...

A/N - Well thats it for chapter 1. Be kind and please leave a review...it would make me very happy :) Chapter 2 will be up very soon...its all done so you can have it as soon as you want really.