Castiel's faith was shaken. Hell, it was gone. And he would probably never get it back. Dean could definitely relate to that. As Castiel disappeared with a slight flutter of his wings, Dean felt an unexpected pain inside. He had been there. It was not a good place to be. Emotionally, physically, it was just awful all the way around. This was why he decided to find, and attempt to console, the angel. Sure, Dean hated any chick flick moments, but he hated Castiel being upset more. Wow, that sounded gay. Oh well, he could relate to the problem so it was like, his duty to at least talk to Cas. He needed some help.
Sam stood, staring at the place where Castiel disappeared. He turned slowly towards Dean. "What now?"
Dean looked at Sam, with a solemn expression on his face. "Well, I've gotta go after him, don't I?" He said gruffly.
Sam looked at his feet. "Yea, I guess you do. But he's gone. How are you supposed to find him?"
"I'm gonna go scream at the freakin' sky. He usually responds to that." Dean said, and turned to walk out the door.
Since they were staying at a random, shabby motel, Dean decided that screaming towards the sky at the top of his lungs might look a little crazy. He'd done it before, but he wasn't in the mood for a confrontation, so he got in the Impala. He would drive until he found some open field or something, and then he'd make that feathery son of a bitch come talk to him. He was fully prepared to yell at the sky like a lunatic for hours.
Dean drove on curvy back roads for 35 minutes until he found the perfect place. He wasn't sure where he was, or how he was going to get back to Sam, but that wasn't exactly his top priority at the moment. If he could just help Castiel, everything would work out.
The place he chose to "call" Cas to was a large field filled with a number of brown, black and white cows. There was a thin wire fence to keep the cows in, but it was useless in keeping Dean out. He jumped the fence effortlessly, and stood in the center of the field. He was already feeling pretty crazy, but this was necessary. Alright, time to really act psychotic.
"Castiel!" He yelled. "Castiel, I, uh, I need to talk to you." He said, a bit quieter this time. "Cas!" He yelled again. His voice echoed, and every cow in the field turned to look at him. Dean waited a moment before turning to the sky again.
"Cas, man. Please come down here. I need to talk to you." He said, loudly, his face turned towards the clouds. "I know how you feel!" He yelled, feeling incredibly lame.
Dean waited several minutes before becoming a bit frustrated. "Castiel, you get your feathery ass down here NOW!" He yelled, louder than ever before. He yelled random lines like this, which often included much cursing, for the next 25 minutes. There was still no sign of Castiel.
Dean was growing tired. His voice was hoarse from screaming, and he was frustrated. He was angry at everything. God, Castiel, Sammy, everyone… Dean yelled for Cas once more, and then sat down in a defeated fashion. He pulled his knees close to him, and in a completely uncharacteristic way, Dean Winchester began to cry silently to himself.
Everything was falling apart around him and he could do absolutely nothing to stop it. The world was ruined and Sam had endless issues, but Castiel was always the one Dean could count on when he needed some faith. Cas believed that God was going to fix everything, and this gave Dean hope. Now, Castiel had no faith, and Dean had no hope.
Dean Winchester sat awkwardly in the center of the field for at least an hour. He was a broken man. After crying like a freakin' baby for entirely too long, he lifted his head from his knees slowly. He was astonished to see Castiel standing before him.
"Cas," Dean started, awkwardly. "Hey, I, uh, I've been, um, calling for you." Dean wiped his eyes quickly. He was obviously embarrassed to be seen like this. Vulnerability was not his thing.
Instead of acknowledging Dean's current "condition", Castiel sat slowly beside Dean. "I heard you. I am sorry I didn't come sooner. I did not feel… up to it." Castiel said, solemnly.
"Yea, it's fine." Dean said, still feeling uncomfortable. "Well, are you okay? I mean… you got some bummer news, dude."
"I am not okay. I feel… I feel an emotion that I am not exactly familiar with. I believe it is despair. Until now, I have had a plan. Not a reliable plan, but it was more than I have now. Now, I do not know what comes next. As you would say, we are screwed." Castiel said, cocking his head towards Dean slightly.
At Castiel's comment Dean almost smiled. "Welcome to my world." Dean said. "If the Big Man's not even on our side, how the hell can we accomplish anything?"
Castiel's eyes seemed to literally darken with his words. "I do not understand how God can turn his back on the planet. This wonderful world, that he created, is not one to leave to chance. The humans, the fascinating creatures he made, should not be left to die. You, Dean, he should not leave you alone to fight something that will kill so many of these creatures. My 'father'," He said this sarcastically. "should not leave us alone. How could he turn his back on me, on everyone?" He said, his eyes nearly filling with tears.
Dean wasn't entirely sure how to handle moments like these, especially when angels were involved. He thought of responding, but found that he didn't know the right words to say, so Dean Winchester scooted closer to Castiel and draped his arm behind the angel's back.
Dean pulled Castiel into an embrace, much like that of a couple on a movie date. As incredibly awkward as this moment should have been, it simply was not. Castiel stared towards the sky, and Dean stared straight ahead. They sat like this, silently, for a long time. In fact, they both completely lost track of time.
Finally, Castiel pulled away from Dean's arm, which had still been around him in a sort of half-hug, and got to his feet. "Dean, we have to go back. Sam…" He said, his voice trailing off.
Dean, who had surprisingly forgotten all about Sam, also stood. He clasped his hand on Castiel's shoulder, firmly. "You're right. Hey, everything that happened here, can we, uh, keep it on the down low?" He asked, speaking quietly, as if he was already keeping a secret.
"Of course," Castiel said, surely.
Dean turned to walk back to the Impala, when Castiel spoke again. "Dean… Thank you." He said, simply.
Dean turned his head back to look at Cas. "It's no problem, man. Any time. Oh, and Cas, do you want a ride?" He said, holding up the car keys as he spoke.
Castiel, who typically found cars confining, walked silently towards Dean. Maybe just this once, he wouldn't mind riding in the car.