(To set the scene, Seifer and Zell have been down the pub all day having an 'I can drink you under the table anytime I want' competition. After the first ten drinks they discover what great mates they really are, after the next twenty they stagger home.)
Seifer and Zell: (singing) Show me the way to go 'ome... (hic)... I'm tired and I wanna go ta bed.
Seifer: I think we are home... (Zell keeps singing)... Hey moron! We are home.
Zell: (singing) I had a little drink about an hour ago.... (slurred) Yo Seifie? How much 'ave we had?
Seifer: I dunno... I forgot how to count.
Quistis: Are you drunk, Seifer?
Seifer: (Struggling to keep upright) Nope I'm as shober as the next man... Ain't that right Zell?
Zell: Wassat?
Quistis: Zell's Drunk too!
Squall: I think that was the point.
Zell: (Pointing at Quistis) And man you're ugly... but do I ever mention it?
Seifer: Hey man! Thash my woman! Apo... Apolo... Say you're sorry.
Zell: Thats Quisty? (He stares hard into her face) Sorry babes, I thought you were Irvine.
Irvine: Hey!
Zell: (turns to Irvine and waves) Hey mate... didn't see you there! (Gives Irvine that really big, lopsided grin that all drunk people seem to know how to do.)
Selphie: Where have you two been all day?
Zell and Seifer: (pointing in opposite directions) Down the pub.
Seifer: We had the bestest time man, told him about my childhood ya know.
Zell: (Giggling and pointing at him) You sound like Raijin!
Selphie: You had the same childhood! We all grew up in the same place.
Zell: (Throws one arm around Seifer) You know what Seifer? I fuchin luv you. You're me fuchin best mate. Not like these tight arsed bastards. (He flings one arms out and vaguely points at the rest of the group) No offence guys.
Seifer: Yeah. Them lots is all nuts... not like you man, I luv you (plants a kiss on the top of Zell's head)
Zell: No I luv you.
Seifer: No man.... I really luv you.... Anybody got a drink, I wanna propose a toast to Zell.
Squall: I think you two have had enough.
Seifer: (Lets go of Zell and advances on Squall... drunkenly) Who are you ta say that man? You with your little bomber jacket and furry collar. He looks more like a woman than Selphie does.
Rinoa: That's enough Seifer.
Seifer: (Turns to Zell) Ya see... he even gets his ditzy lickle girlfriend to stick up for him.
Zell: Yeah Little Miss Nosey. This is mens business.
Selphie: Mens business?
Seifer: Well lesh be honest, we all friends here... 'cept for me and girlyman. (he points at Squall) There are two things women are good at... Cooking and washing up. (Zell bursts into giggles)
Quistis: Better than being crap at both honey.
Zell: (Giggling and pointing in Seifer's face) She got you there mate.
Seifer: Aye but I can get at her in better ways. (He winks at Zell and plants a smacker on her cheek)
Squall: Leave the girl alone Seifer.
Seifer: Or you'll do what Girlyman? You gonna beat me up. Well come on then... alla ya. All together or one at a time. I'll make it fair you can tie thish arm behing my back. (Seifer starts swinging with one arm, trips over his own feet and falls on his face.)
Zell: Seifer? (He kneels down next to him) Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr? (He looks at the others) He's not getting up.
Selphie: I think he's fallen asleep.
(Seifer snores)
Zell: I don't feel too well (He stands up and procedes to prove just how unwell he is all over the floor.)
Irvine: I think they had a good night all round really.