Sleep
She didn't feel safe anymore. Jane could see it as plain as day. He wanted to do something about it, but Lisbon would never feel completely safe again until Red John was caught, and that just wasn't possible yet, soon though.
Still, soon might not be soon enough. Lisbon was in danger. The taunt Red John had relayed to him ran through Jane's mind.
"Tell Teresa, until next time."
He could come after Lisbon again anytime, tomorrow, today, tonight. Jane wished a security detail could be put on her, but no one outside of he and Lisbon even knew she was currently in harms way. He'd offered to stay at her place, but she had naturally, refused.
What she didn't realize was that he wasn't asking for her benefit alone, it was for his own too. He wasn't sleeping at all anymore, and he'd bet all the tea in China that Lisbon wasn't either. She came into work looking more tired and drawn every day. Oh she covered it up well, enough to fool the others, but Jane still saw straight through her façade, and she knew it. When it was just them, no one else, she let the charade drop completely. There was no point in wasting the energy it took to keep it up. It irritated him, because Jane knew he could help her, she was just too darn stubborn to accept his help.
Well no more, he'd had enough of her obstinate behavior. They were both going to run themselves into the ground if they kept this up.
Lisbon had left work an hour ago. That was plenty of time. Now armed with a determination that, when firmly rooted few people could shake, Jane made his way to Lisbon's apartment.
Lisbon had been settled comfortable on her couch reading a book, when a series of short, firm knocks bombarded her front door. She had her suspicions as to the identity of her visitor (Jane), who else would be banging on her door after midnight?
The first name that came to mind was -Red John. But he wouldn't be so casual as to simply knock on her front door would he? Perhaps he would, for fun. And yet, that seemed very out of character for him. All the same, better to be safe than sorry. She retrieved her off duty weapon from the coffee table and walked to the door.
Just as she was about to open it, another set of knocks began, making her jump. She took a calming breath and turned the knob, then swung the door open, cutting the knocking off abruptly.
The culprit was exactly who she though it would be. Jane was standing on her doorstep, hand poised in mid air, positioned for another pound on her front door.
Letting her irritation with him calling at this time of night shine openly in her expression, Lisbon attempted to conceal her gun behind her. A wasted attempt really. No sooner had she done so then Jane was pushing past her into the apartment saying, "Do you always answer the door with a gun, or is it a recent precaution?"
She chose to ignore his question; he knew the answer to it already. Instead she cut to the chase, something she was very good at.
"What do you want?"
Jane looked her over from head to foot. She was wearing only her football jersey, her bare legs showing up to her mid-thigh, and her hair was done up on top of her head in a messy, casual bun. He would've thought her appearance was completely adorable except for one thing. She was practically radiating an air of tiredness that wasn't the natural sleepy kind. It was the exhaustion of someone who can't sleep and has given up trying.
He turned away from her and moved toward the couch while answering the question she'd put to him.
"I'm staying here for the night."
Lisbon's eye caught the over-night bag in Jane's hand. She had failed to notice it before.
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed. She really wasn't in the mood for another one of these conversations tonight.
"I told you before, Jane, I don't need you to try and protect me," she said as she made her way over to the coffee table, setting her unneeded firearm back were it had been.
"Oh, I'm not here for your protection Lisbon. I came over for a completely self serving reason," he replied, stretching the truth a bit.
A look of confusion crossed over her face.
"I'm just here so I can get some sleep," he said, by way of further explanation.
Now Lisbon was torn. She wanted Jane to get some sleep, but she certainly didn't want him to get it here. But honestly, thinking about it, he was probably just lying so her could keep an eye on her, and she said as much to him too.
"You're lying Jane. I know you're here to keep tabs on me."
Jane sat down on her couch and crossed his legs in a casual manner.
"Well, now, don't we think a lot of ourselves Lisbon?" His comment was patronizing, as was his tone, but she would have none of it.
"Jane." The warning in her voice was very clear.
His casual expression changed to a serious one.
"I'm not lying, -no completely. I do need to get some sleep and I can't seem to get it anywhere else so I though, if I could just be here and know you're safe, I might be able to get some. And yes, I do want to keep tabs on you. I'm worried about, -you know that."
"Yes I do Jane. I also appreciate that you want to be sure I stay safe, and I understand that you're exhausted, I am too, but you can't stay here indefinitely until we catch Red John."
Busted. Lisbon knew exactly what he'd wanted. She really was getting good at reading him.
Well, when all else fails, go for honesty.
"I have to protect you Lisbon."
"What could you possibly do to protect me against him Jane? If he came for me tonight, what would you do?"
This was sounding much like the conversation he'd had with Kristina Frye years ago, right before she'd kicked him out. Well, not "kicked him out", he'd left of his own free will. But that wasn't going to happen this time, he'd come to make sure Lisbon stayed safe and that was precisely what he was going to do, whether she liked it or not.
"I would do anything it took to protect you Lisbon."
Her shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew he wouldn't give way and she was too tired to keep fighting him.
"Fine, do what you want Jane. You will anyway."
With that Lisbon turned her back to him, made her way to the stairs, and went up to her room. Not to sleep, just to rest, her head was aching relentlessly.
Jane had been lying on Lisbon's couch for about two hours when he heard it. The unmistakable sounds of someone trapped in a terrifying nightmare. He got off the couch and quickly made his way up to Lisbon's room. He stopped before opening the bedroom door. This was why she didn't want him here. Maybe he should leave her alone, she certainly wouldn't want him to witness something she would, undoubtedly, consider a weakness. He listened at the door for a few moments before he'd had enough. He needed to wake her up, -now.
It was him, she knew it, he'd come for her. She reached under her pillow for the gun she'd hidden there. Springing up into a sitting position, Lisbon pointed her weapon at the figure moving toward her in the dim light.
He raised his hands as he saw the silhouette of the firearm Lisbon had trained on him.
Calm her, reassure her were his first thoughts.
"Lisbon, it's me, it's Jane. Come on sweetheart, put the gun down."
He didn't know where the "sweetheart" had come from, but he supposed it was due to the fact that she'd been having a nightmare and his natural instinct in this kind of situation was to use comforting terms of endearment. Anyway, the important thing was that she listened to him. As she lowered the gun he lowered his hands.
Despite the fact the room was shrouded in darkness he saw her reach over, place her firearm on the bedside table, and switch on the lamp. The light illuminated the room, and her face. Her eyes were wide with fear. Her breathing was coming in fast pants. She was going to hyperventilate if she kept that up. He needed to calm her down.
Walking over to the bed, he sat down beside Lisbon and put both hands on either side of her face.
"It's okay Reese." He called her by the childhood nickname he'd heard her brother, Tommy, use. He hoped it might have a soothing effect.
"It's okay, just breathe. In -and out. In -and out. See, that's better isn't it?"
Jane knew he was treating her like a child, but that's the only way he'd ever been in this situation, with a child. His child. Whenever Charlotte had had a nightmare and woke him and her mother up, this is what he'd done to comfort her.
Lisbon's breathing returned to normal, and Jane took his hands away from her face. The fear that had been in her eyes morphed into anger.
"What were you thinking Jane? I could've shot you!"
He didn't answer, thinking it would be better to stay quiet.
As quickly as her anger appeared, it faded. Lisbon flopped back down exhaustedly in a blanket covered heap onto the mattress and rolled to her side. She turned her face into the pillow so Jane couldn't see her eyes swell up with unwanted tears.
"I tried not to fall asleep," she said, her voice muffled, somewhat, by the pillow. "But I'm so tired. I just want to sleep."
Lisbon turned her head from the pillow and looked up at him, not caring anymore if he saw her crying.
"I just want to sleep," she said again.
Her eyes held his in a pleading gaze.
Jane understood. He nodded his head slowly.
"Okay."
Lisbon looked at him gratefully. She didn't know if this was a good idea, but she was at the end of her rope. She had to get some sleep.
Jane looked down at her. She looked vulnerable, like she didn't really want to do this but had no other choice. He wasn't going to be able to help her if she didn't relax, and him hovering over her probably didn't instill much of a want to relax. He needed to make her feel comfortable, safe.
Repositioning himself from sitting to laying down, Jane mimicked Lisbon's position while facing her.
She didn't understand why he was lying beside her, but she trusted him. He'd help her. She just had to let him.
Reaching out a hand, he smoothed a few strand of hair away from her face, then laid the same hand gently to the side of her face and stroked her temple soothingly.
"Teresa, I want you to imagine you're on a beach, just you, no on else. -Can you see it?"
She nodded drowsily, his hand and his voice taking the intended effect.
"Hear the waves lapping on the shore, one after another. Let the sound wash over you. Feel the sound washing over you. Let it calm you. Let it lull you into a peaceful -sleep."
Lisbon's eyes closed. Her breathing was even and relaxed. She was sleeping.
Jane had planned on going back to the couch as soon as Lisbon was asleep, but while hypnotizing her he'd transferred his hand from her face to her hand. Now she was holding his one hand with both of hers. He could extract himself from her hold without waking her, but he didn't want to. With her here next to him, he felt better. It was irrational, he knew. If Red John came after her tonight, to tell the truth, physically, he really couldn't do much, but that didn't mean he wouldn't die trying.
Jane looked affectionately at the woman beside him. Shifting until he could reach Lisbon's bedside table with his free hand, he turned off her alarm. She wouldn't be going in to work in the morning. Then he shut off the lamp. Tonight they were both going to get some sleep.