A/N: Just a quick heads up for this one. This is a new pairing for me, and there is a lemon here. This is not fluffy, moonlight-and-roses kinda stuff. This is sorta drunken and rough sexxin'. So if you don't dig, don't read. Otherwise, enjoy! :) (Title comes from a song by Blue October.)

The Sound of Pulling Heaven Down

The February night air was cool, but not cold, and it was just the reprieve I was looking for when I stepped onto the balcony just outside of the Garden's ballroom. The party was still in full swing, but I just needed to catch my breath for a minute.

My head felt light and fuzzy from the expensive Galbadian wine I'd been drinking throughout the evening – it was a celebration, why not partake, right? Two of my best friends had just gotten married here tonight. The sense of revelry was everywhere in the air, and everyone was in good spirits.

Well. Almost everyone. I noticed the lone figure standing not too far from me pretty much immediately. He was leaning on the railing, staring out across the ocean. His back was to me, but I would have recognized the short blond hair and broad shoulders anywhere. Ever since our dear Commander thought it would be a fine idea to have Seifer and I teach a few classes together, he had kinda been all I could think about. I know. It didn't make sense to me either. With a deep sigh, I approached the railing.

Over the last couple of months, ever since we started teaching together, we'd kinda gotten into a sort of … groove with each other. We weren't exactly friendly, but we tolerated each other, and we did make a pretty good team, when it came to teaching the new recruits. So I didn't really think anything of striking up a conversation with him out here … besides, he seemed a little down.

It had always bothered me to see people hurting ... no matter who they were. Enough years had gone by – nearly five now – and old grudges were pretty much of the past, as far as I was concerned. The fact that he was even here at all said a lot. I couldn't really bring myself to feel any animosity toward him now. Let bygones be bygones and all that, right?

And, if I was going to be completely honest here, I'd have to admit to being a little … curious about him over the years. He was the exact opposite of me and my friends – like, the anti-Squall or something. More often than I was really comfortable with, I had found myself wondering about him – wondering if Fujin and Raijin really were all the friends he needed. Wondering if he was ever lonely...

Now was as good a time as any to find out. "Hey, you," I said, trying to keep my tone light, non-committal. Like it didn't matter if he responded or not. "Nice night, huh?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes, and I had the distinct impression that he was sizing me up. The thought made my heart do a little thump-thump-thump in my chest. "Sure," he said flatly, taking a drink from his champagne flute.

"Are you ... all right?" I asked.

"I'm just great," he said dryly, and I made a face at the back of his head. Sarcasm, thy name is Seifer Almasy. He turned around then, and I quickly put my face to rights before he could see me mocking him. One thing I was sure about, when it came to Seifer – he didn't like to be made fun of.

He leaned back against the railing, then. And now he was giving me a look of his own.

I knew that look. I'd received that look from many a man in my time, and hell, I've given it a few times. I'm a big girl now, and definitely no stranger to cold comfort. In this line of work, you take what you can get, when you can get it. Squall and Rinoa and their happily-ever-after romance are the exception, not the rule around here. Unfortunately.

But Seifer was obviously having a bad night, and he was looking for a bit of ... something ... to make it all go away. And if it were any other guy, any other place? I wouldn't have hesitated. I didn't really want to think about why I was so cautious all of a sudden. Why was I still trying to talk his problems away?

Oh, don't get me wrong. I knew damn good and well why. But I wasn't ready to say it then, not even to myself. That would mean it was real, and if this thing was real, I didn't know how to go back from that.

It's Seifer Almasy, for crying out loud!

So ... talking. Keep talking.

"Is it ... Rinoa?" I asked, gathering up every ounce of courage I could muster. I know this is dangerous territory ... but he just seemed ... so sad. So not himself. And the part of me that is ever-hopeful and optimistic; the part of me that still fights off the urge to scream out Booyaka! every time something goes right; the part that still makes up songs about trains? Yeah, that part of me just can't stand to see anyone hurting. I couldn't help but to reach out to him.

And, okay, let's do the honesty thing again. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was always the chance that if I made him mad enough, he'd leave. And if he left, maybe he'd take all these stupid conflicting thoughts and emotions with him. At this point, I probably would've welcomed that.

I don't like being confused about men. It gives them too much power, too much of a hold over me, and I have never allowed that. I might not look like much, and I might be little … but I'm always in control of myself, and I pride myself on that.

He laughed sardonically then. "I'm sure that's what everyone wants to hear, right? That I'm still hung up on her, after all these years? Makes for a great romantic story, doesn't it?"

"Well, is it true?" I asked, holding my breath. I stepped forward to stand next to him – I didn't even realize I'd done it till our shoulders were touching. I wasn't afraid of him, not even then, when he'd obviously had too much to drink, and was a little … unstable. I was, however, terrified of what his answer might be.

"Fuck no," he snapped. "I haven't thought about her like that in ... well, a really long time, all right?"

I was actually shocked at the amount of relief I felt then. Looking back, that is the moment I probably should have turned and ran for my life. But I didn't.

"So then ... what's bothering you?" I knew it was nosy, and that I was prying, but I just couldn't stop myself from asking. There was something there, with him, under the surface. And just like a scab that I couldn't resist picking at – I guess I wanted him to bleed for me.

"Why do you care?" he asked, and suddenly he was focused on me, instead of everywhere but me. But his eyes were dark and stormy, and the weight of them on me was almost too much to bear. I found myself wishing that he would look away again.

But, he'd raised a good question. Why did I care so much? Why was I still out there, with him, when all my actual, honest-to-Hyne friends were inside? Why couldn't I turn away from his gaze?

"Because ... I care, all right?" I finally said, the exasperation that I was feeling filling up my voice. "It's what I do, hadn't you noticed? Just one big bleeding heart, that's me."

"Doesn't that get tiring?" he asked, and I was surprised to find that it was an honest question, not a snide one.

"It's exhausting," I admitted, for the first time in my life. It was tiring, always being the cheerful, optimistic one. Never being allowed to let the world see me sad. I leaned heavily against the railing. "But I think it's probably too late for me to change now. People would just think I'd finally snapped." I laughed a little, but there wasn't any joy behind it. "Besides. Someone has to do it, right? Might as well be me. I seem to be good at making people feel better. And it makes me feel better, too, so hey, bonus."

I smiled a little then, and looked up to gauge his reaction. The corners of his mouth were quirking upwards, and I was probably more pleased by that fact than I had any right to be. I was twenty-two, not sixteen. And yet, there I was, feeling giddy inside because I made him smile.

"So. While you're busy being happy for everyone and their good fortune, you get left behind. How's that feel?" He said then, and his smile vanished. Okay, so we were back to that now.

I paused, a little bit dumbfounded by the question. I'd never really ... thought of it like that. "It's not ... like that," I said, thinking my words through carefully. "It's just ... what you do. I mean, aren't you happy when Fujin or Raijin do something good?"

"Sure," Seifer said. "For about five minutes. And then I feel like crap afterwards because I haven't accomplished anything, really. And then I feel like crap for feeling like crap."

Oh. I understood that feeling, more than anyone could possibly know. But I wasn't going to focus on that. It wasn't about me right now. As much as I didn't want to admit it … suddenly, it had become about making him smile again. "But that's not true! You made it to SeeD, didn't you?" I pointed out.

Seifer glared then. Oops. Wrong move.

"Yeah. Two years after everyone else. Oldest SeeD recruit in Garden history. And I have to answer to ... him." The venom in Seifer's tone when he mentioned Squall was nearly palpable.

Suddenly, it all made sense to me. And I felt like a real moron for not having figured it out sooner. "So that's what it's about," I said quietly. "Your biggest rival ... he's done everything before you, right?"

"Including getting married." Seifer snorted with derision. "Which is about the lamest thing a guy has ever gotten pissed about, I'm sure."

"I don't think so," I said, as understanding for the man standing next filled me. Seifer always was the big romantic. Rinoa had told me all about that summer she'd spent with him, before she met the rest of us. I had to admit, I'd had a hard time reconciling the guy she spoke of with the one that I knew from around Garden. But it finally started to make sense, talking to him on the balcony that night.

"I mean, you were always the one with all the dreams and notions, right? Squall ... he just kinda ... does things. He never really had big plans or anything. And yet ... things just seem to fall into place for him, while you have to work for it. I get that."

He looked up at her then, and I was afraid he was going to snap at me, or tell me to mind my own damn business (which, okay, rightfully? He should've done.). But instead, his gaze locked onto mine, and I found myself unable to move.

I'm not even sure who did what next, where it all started is just such a blur. All I know is that one minute, we were just staring at each other like we'd never seen each other before, and the next … well … I'd like to blame it on the champagne, on the excitement of the night ... but, I mean, who am I kidding? I just … connected with him, there in that moment. More so than I've connected with anyone, possibly ever. And I just couldn't bring herself to fight that connection – it's not like these things just happen every day.

So I reached out for him, and at the same moment, he was reaching for me. I don't know who made first contact, I just know that …

His lips were soft. Amazingly soft. And all sense of right and wrong went flying from my mind when my lips parted and his tongue slid over mine. His fingers were digging into my sides in a way that might've be painful if it hadn't felt so damn good, and suddenly, all I wanted was him. There was no party, no SeeDs, no wedding. There was never a Sorceress; we were never at odds with each other ...

It's like nothing ever existed before, and nothing would exist after; it was just us.

My hands grasped the fabric of his shirt and I pulled him closer, as close as he could be without actually being in me, but it wasn't enough. He tore his lips from mine and trailed them down my jawline and neck in a scorching line. Still not enough. Not near enough.

His tongue was laving at my neck then, and one of us groaned … I'm not sure who it was though. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but this. His hands started sliding the straps of my dress down my shoulders, and his lips followed his fingertips, and then he started using his teeth, and I could tell this was going to be different and wonderful because he wasn't treating me like some fragile thing. His fingers were digging into my flesh again, and I loved it. I didn't want him to be careful with me. Everyone was always so damn careful around here. There were so many rules and regulations, and I may not always be a strictly "by-the-book" kinda girl, but I wasn't an idiot either.

But now … just this once? I wanted to be an idiot.

Seifer's hand was snaking its way up my leg, under my skirt, and I could feel myself start to tremble. Idiocy or not, we couldn't do … this … out on the balcony, in front of a ballroom full of people.

I wasn't ready to be that stupid. Baby steps, Selphie. Sleep with Seifer, then consider exhibitionism.

"Seifer," I breathed and I found that I liked the way his name felt coming from my lips. "Wait."

He growled in frustration, and the sound sent shivers down my spine. I laughed a little, and kissed him again, sinking into him. My fingers found their way up, to his head, and I let the soft strands of his blond hair slide through my fingers. "No, no, it's not that," I reassured him. "Just ... give me five minutes. And meet me in my room. You know where it is?" He looked at me with a droll expression and I giggled. "Room 462," I said.

He nodded, and then he started in on my neck again, and he found just the perfect spot, and I truly almost lost all my composure and gave into him then and there. "No, no. Just ... five minutes," I said breathlessly, pushing him away playfully.

I turned around and headed back through the ballroom. I scanned the crowd quickly, and managed to find Rinoa relatively quickly, thank Hyne. I went over to her, and hugged her and gave her the customary congratulations that you give to new brides. I tried to make it quick, but I could tell that she knew something was up, and that I was going to have to endure a rousing game of twenty questions when she and Squall got back from Winhill. But at the moment, I didn't care.

Once I finally managed to get out of the ballroom, and I was alone in the empty Garden hallway, I actually started to worry. If I actually went through with this … there would be no going back from it. But if I didn't … oh, I knew I would regret it every day for the rest of my life.

Besides. Maybe this would give me some peace, finally. After all, it had worked in the past. I'd get fixated on a guy for awhile, but I usually got right over it as soon as they, ah, "scratched the itch" for me. So yes. This was exactly what I needed to do, if I was ever going to go back to my normal, day-to-day routine. This stupid little infatuation I had with Almasy … it really needed to stop. One way or the other.

This isn't a stupid idea at all. It might actually be brilliant! It's worked in the past for a REASON, after all.

By the time I made it back to my room, he was already there, waiting for me. All I doubts I might've been having flew from my mind at the sight of him, leaning against the doorframe. His clothes were all askew and his hair was mussed. Oh, yes, I was definitely doing this.

I took a deep breath and walked the rest of the way to the door on trembling legs. My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the stupid keycard to get back into my room. I heard – or rather, felt – him chuckle behind me, but I didn't care, because his hands were at my waist and his mouth was on that spot on my neck again, and he smelled so good. Seriously, why had I never noticed that before, in all the time I'd been teaching classes with him?

I won't lie, at that point, I was so frustrated with my stupid key, and so insane with want and need, that I was ready to just turn around and do this thing in the hallway at that point.

Luckily, the lock beeped then, and we were finally allowed entry. The door had barely shut behind us before I had him pinned against the wall, using all of my body weight to hold him there. My shaking fingers worked the buttons on his shirt and soon it was tossed aside. "Are you sure about this?" he asked then, breaking away from our kiss. His voice was thick and ragged. "Because it won't be pretty. I'm not in the mood for pretty." His voice was a sneer, but still, his words sent shock waves straight to the center of my body

Pretty? No, this definitely wasn't going to be pretty. I was about to sleep with a former enemy … someone who had once upon a time, tried to kill us. I couldn't think about that any more, though, not if I was going to be able to go through with it. Luckily, the wine from earlier was still in full effect, so my senses were not altogether … together … if you know what I mean. And I know it was the same for him.

It didn't matter. For whatever reason, we were here together, and this was going to happen. There's one thing I've learned never to argue with, and that's Fate.

"Seifer," I practically growled. I pushed him back again, and his head hit the wall with a light thump. "Shut up."

And then he was kissing me again, and his hands were pushing my skirt up at the same time my hands were pulling his pants down, and suddenly, before I knew what was going on, I was up against the wall, facing into it, while he was behind me, and it wasn't pretty … it was hot and wild and primal and completely raw, but all I really knew was that nothing had ever felt better than this.

He wasn't gentle, and I didn't want him to be. I was tired of people treating me like a doll, like I'd break just because I'm small. I want to be manhandled every now and again, and he seemed to understand that, almost instinctively. This wasn't like before, with the other guys. This was something new and different. I could practically feel the threads of Fate starting to weave a new tapestry as we moved together.

Seifer seemed to know exactly where to touch, and how much, and when to stop, and when to keep going. And I didn't even have to pretend anything, just to get him off of me. Because he made me see stars, and I didn't ever want to stop.

Afterward, he didn't run away, he didn't rush to get dressed and leave … again, different from all the other guys I'd known. Instead, he turned me around and looked at me, very seriously for a long minute. "Are you all right?" he asked, and I couldn't have been more shocked if he'd punched me in the gut or called me a slut.

I managed to smile, really smile at him, once I got over my initial surprise. "I'm great. You?"

He laughed a little, and then sighed. "Tired," he admitted. He walked over to the bed and basically threw himself down on it. "Mind if I crash here for a bit?" he asked.

"N-no, 'course not," I stammered. Again. New territory for Selphie.

I must've stood there for a ridiculous amount of time or something, because he raised his head off the pillows and gave me a strange look. "You just gonna stand there and stare all night or what?" And then he moved over and made room for me to lie down beside him.

Oh, Hyne. I think we have a problem.

This wasn't going according to plan at all.

///

When I woke up the next morning, my head was heavy and foggy. As far as hangovers go, I suppose it could've been worse. But I knew that there was something about last night that I should remember. There's a familiar, pleasant ache between my legs, so I knew that it must involve some guy. Not really anything new there. Hey, don't judge me.

But when I stretched my arms out, I came into contact with something warm and solid, and it all came rushing back to me like a derailed Doomtrain. I had …

Looking over, I saw that, sure enough, Seifer Almasy was sound asleep beside me, snoring ever-so-lightly.

I scrambled out of bed so fast, you'd have thought I'd been shot at. I all but dove into my adjoining bathroom. A quick glance in the mirror doesn't really help, either. My hair looked like a dead moomba, and I had several light bruises on my hip from Seifer's fingers digging into me. Which, okay, not gonna lie, was a pretty pleasant memory.

But … oh, Hyne was that a hickey? How the hell was I going to cover that up? It was huge. "Gods, Seifer, what are you, part bite bug or something?" I muttered, lightly touching the mark with my fingertips.

A scalding hot shower made me feel a little bit better, and I quickly threw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a yellow long-sleeved shirt emblazoned with Balamb Garden's symbol. When I reentered the room, he was still there. Awake now, and, thankfully, he looked as … uncomfortable… as I felt.

I decided to bite the bullet, or take one for the team, or whatever, and speak first. "So, uh, I … I didn't think you'd still … be here," I said honestly. He looked up at me, and his expression was puzzled. "Nobody's ever … stuck around before, is all."

"Huh," was all he said, and I wasn't really sure how to take that. It certainly didn't make me feel any better. In fact, I kinda felt worse. And the fact that he had stuck around … well … dammit, it was kind of … endearing. And that was sooo not how it was supposed to work!

"Why … are you still here?" I finally asked, my heart jumping madly in my chest.

"I don't hit and run," he says bluntly, and I appreciated his honesty ... and chivalry. Most guys don't have that any more, but he definitely did. There was that romantic thing coming out again. "And I thought we should … talk … about last night, anyway."

I swallowed loudly. Oh, goody. A morning-after talk. I'd never really … dealt with anything like that before. "Oh. Okay," I said stupidly. "Did I – uh … is there something … wrong?"

He looked almost sheepish then, and it was kind of adorable. Damn it. "Actually, I was going to ask you that. Look, last night was … fucked up, all right, and I'm sorry if I took advantage or something."

Without even thinking, I crossed the room and sat down beside him on the bed. "You didn't," I assured him. "Believe me … I deliberated a lot about whether or not to actually go through with it before I got back here."

He looked relieved. "All right then, I was just …" He trailed off, and I looked up at him. I knew immediately what he was looking at and I wrinkled my nose at him. "Damn, did I do that?"

My hand went back to my throat, where I knew the big, ugly mark was shining like a freaking beacon at this point. "No, actually, it was the guy who showed up after you fell asleep," I told him and he glared at me. I giggled; I couldn't help it. This … morning-after thing was actually all right.

His expression softened then, into something I'd never seen before … not from him anyway. "Well, really, I just … uh … thank you." He rolled his eyes then. "Okay, that's fucking stupid, sorry." He looked at the clock on my nightstand then. "Shit! I'm late! Fujin's gonna flip her shit. Damn it. Shit, shit, shiiiiit." He jumped up and got dressed faster than I'd ever seen any man move in my life.

He was halfway out the door, leaving a very bewildered me behind, when he stopped and turned around. He cocked a grin at me and did that stupid gun-pointing thing that guys do when they're trying to be funny or cute or whatever. "I will call you later, all right?"

I just nodded. "Uh, okay, yeah, sure, sounds good." The door shut behind him, then, and I fell back against the pillows on my bed.

Pillows that still smelled like him. I supposed I'd better enjoy it while I could, because I knew that there was no way in hell that Seifer Almasy was going to call me.

Which just goes to show how very wrong I can be sometimes, because he called me the next day.