Author's Note: though it's a generally bright, happy show (except for a few mind-numbingly horrifying moments), I wrote this with a slightly darker tone. It's meant to show the Ice King's personality by detailing his surroundings.

If you were to visit the Land of Ooo, travel north-east of the Candy Kingdom roughly four to five miles, and manage to survive, you would soon find yourself surrounded on all sides by blue crystalline mountains. They are topped with many a year's layer of ice upon ice, clones of one another save for their varying height. Some are tall, others short. Regardless, they all are in the shape of a cone, near artificial in geometric perfection. Beautiful. And taken.

This is where the Ice King lives, being mean.

It is a well-known fact to Ooo's many peoples that the Ice Kingdom is largely uninhabited. It serves as the chilly home to a very small population, penguin families and the occasional yeti. Ooo's abundance of monstrosities have managed to adapt to some of the most oppressive environments, yet still, the relatively tame Kingdom remains curiously untouched. Volcanoes have their Lava Men and oceans have their cucumbers, but little more than flightless birds grace the north's frigid tundra.

This is where the Ice King lives, looking ugly.

Princesses know to stay away from this place, and if there weren't so many, it might not be such a monumental problem. There's something inviting about the snowy landscape, littered thick with pretty peaks. They stand as silent apogees, harsh and unrevealing of secrets they don't harbor, begging you to ask what they are if only for the short-lived company. Clouds swirl harmlessly above, as if they might convince you of their company's innocence. Don't believe them.

This is where the Ice King lives, hurting others.

If you happen by the Ice Kingdom one day, no doubt traveling towards a different destination, stop for a second. Make the hazardous, jagged climb up an icy path towards the Ice King's home. You needn't make yourself known, for he can be quite uninviting. At the foot of his doorless entrance, offer trail mix with yogurt chips, or even peanut brittle. It's a small gift, bound to earn a smile, however fleeting.

This is where the Ice King lives, being mean, looking ugly, hurting others.

This is where the Ice King lives, wishing he didn't.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Be mathematical. Leave a review. ;)