Summary: Edward left and didn't come back. Bella was turned by Laurent and decides to sing to let out her feelings. She goes to various clubs to sing and one day, she bumps into Edward and his family who have just witnessed her preformance.
Warning: I claim no originality but I was bored and this was fun to write. If you want something that has never been done before, do not look here!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own characters or lyrics, I just play with them for amusements sake. Characters are Stephenie Meyers and Lyrics are by Voltaire, Dogwood, Natalie Imbruglia, Edwin Mccain, Avenua Q, and Avril Lavigne.
BPOV:
He left. 25 years ago. He left me for his distractions and they seemed to do well by him because he never came to find me. He broke his promise though, he said it would be like he never existed. As if that could happen. As if his presence, however brief, could not permantly affect me. The pain was eased some by Jacob but even he couldn't remove the gaping hole in my heart.
So I looked for the meadow that would always make me feel he was close. I found it too, sadly Laurent found it, and me, as well. I won't bore you with the details of my change. It was painful, enough said.
After I was changed I found myself struggling to keep from feeding on the people of Forks. My family and friends! I knew that if they tempted me, strangers would send me over the edge. So I left. I wandered as a nomad until I realized it didn't matter. I was damned to hell anyway, I was living it for eternity. I wasn't that attracted to humans and I fed off animals too, but send a pervert my way and I was done with it.
When I was finally able to be around any humans without massacring them, about 5 years later, I decided to sing about how I felt. It wasn't solving anything, but it gave me some relief to have an outlet for the pain that, if anything, intesified after my change.
I wasn't discovered and turned into a multi-million dollar rockstar but I did have a small following and a few places that would always welcome me to sing if I wanted to. I never found a coven because I tried to maintain a semi-veggie diet but one day I found a couple who had an interesting diet of their own.
Justin had an odd power, he could sense when people had a barely hidden dark side. So he had a pretty good idea if people were going to do something terrible and that's who he'd feed on. His mate did the same and they probably were right about 80% of the time. More often than not, we got drug dealers or users. It actually felt a little like getting high, Justin told me once. He had dabbled in drugs in his human life.
Chelsea, Justin's mate, had no power in particular but could always tell if you needed something. We weren't really sure this counted as a power since it wasn't anything really but an intensfied sense but we appreciated it none the less since it meant she always knew when to stay and when to go when you were upset. They had been with me for the last 10 years and I had finally told them my story after 5 years of them hearing my songs and begging to know what had happened.
I, of course, was a shield. I could shield myself and any I chose from any mental attacks. I also had an extra layer of protection so that those under my shield still couldn't access my mind. I could now extend my radius up to a mile with those I knew well. I didn't think it was that big of a deal but apparently, as shields go, I was pretty talented.
I know this may seem a little odd, that I could be close to vampires who fed off humans but I had decided long ago that everyone is either in pain or causing it and thus it didn't matter. I may sound cynical and heartless, newsflash, I have no heart anymore.
And leads us to here, I'm on stage about to sing my newest song and Justin and Chelsea are in the crowd, hunting. I was famished and, as it drew closer to September, I was more angry thatn ever and had told them to save me one.
I sat down in front of the mike and the guitarist, John, played my sheet music. He's pretty talented, I must say. I started to sing. (AN: I changed a few lyrics on a couple songs for continuity's sake)
What did I ever do to you
that you should treat me this way?
is it really such a crime
for an angel to speak her mind?
in time I'll try to shed some light
if I were a big girl I wouldn't cry
but since I'm not a big girl I'll have to cry
what did I ever do so wrong
that you should cast me from grace
though I love to rule in hell here
how I miss the taste of heaven
its soft and cool embrace
if I were a big girl I wouldn't cry
but since I'm not a big girl
I'll have to close my eyes
and picture what's it's like
I'm just like you
made by he
despised by they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
I'm just like you
made by he
despised by they
I'm almost me
i'm nearly human
pity me I'm almost a human being
I still remember your light
and it was streaming down
and burning out my eyes
If I were a big girl i wouldn't cry
but since I'm not a big girl
i'll have to close my eyes
and picture what it's like
I'm just like you
made by he
despised by they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
these tears are real
I'm jealousy I'm spite and hate
to the core I'm mean
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
I'm just like you
better than he
to hell with they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human
Pity me I'm almost a human being
don't touch me ahhh
I couldn't bear the thought of it now
don't touch me ahhh
I couldn't bear the strength
don't touch me ahhh
I couldn't bear the thought of it now
touch me touch me touch me
don't touch me touch me touch me
I ended it and looked out into the crowd. "That song, along with most of my other songs, is dedicated to the man who convinced me he loved me and then ripped my heart out and left me bleeding on the floor! Anybody here no my other songs, any requests?"
A few people shouted "my happy ending", to which I happily obligued.
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oooooh....
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it (but we lost it)
All of the memories, so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending (Oh oh, oh oh)
Oh oh, oh oh
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they (So are they)
But they don't know me
Do they even know you? (Even know you)
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do (All the shit that you do)
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there,
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending...
You were everything, everything that I wanted
And we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh....
Oh ooooh....
I looked into the crowd again. I don't know why I did, I never noticed anything of interest, but it made the audience more interactive and I always prefer requests to picking my own songs. "Last request of the night, I'm feeling a little high stung so let's make it a fast one!" I said, hoping to hype myself up for the hunt. It never worked but you can't stop a girl from trying!
Another lonesome night.
A room full of emptiness.
Darkness engulfing me,
I can't handle the pain.
Helpless my new name,
I have no family.
No one tells the truth,
I've got nothing left
and nowhere to run.
It's suicide.
A complex task.
Self-decision pre-constructed doom,
Its not your time to go.
I don't belong,
So I will die.
Self sacrifice for I hate living,
I should die. (I should die!)
Now there's no return,
To my once sad smile.
Too many steps too far,
And now I've lost my way.
I'm just asking you to listen,
I haven't got a lot to say.
I just need a friend,
I'm so alone and so afraid.
Remember when you said you'd
always hold my hand?
We'd be a family forever.
Now where did everyone go?
I've reached my breaking
point I feel it's time
to go,
Has God forgotten me?
What happened to fair and
what happened to me?
"Thanks everyone, you've been a great audience and I hope you come out to see me again sometime!" I said and then stood up and walked off the stage. I found Justin and he led me over to Chelsea who had three guys I'm sure Justin had picked out swarming her. We went over and I leaned over to them and said "Hey, wanna go someplace a little more private." And they became putty in my hands like they always do. Chelsea and I led them outside into an alley and grabbed out pick, shoved the other one into Justin's waiting arms, and started to eat. We ate quickly and turned to leave the alley we were in. It was then we noticed the scent of 7 vampires coming from the mouth of the alley.
The Cullens had found me at last.
_-_-_-_-_-_
I dropped the dead body I was holding onto in shock, though the shock on my face was nothing compared to that on theirs. Justin knew from my look that this was the family who had abandoned me and took defensive position in front. Chelsea, with her gift came back to hold me.
"Bella?" I heard one of them say, it sounded like Emmett.
"Don't even speak to her" Justin snarled.
"Bella, we're so sorry for leaving-" Justin snarled again, cutting Alice's little speech short.
"He said, don't even speak to her, maybe you misheard him the first time." Chelsea shot at them.
"Please, I've gone 25 years without seeing my best friend and sister." Alice begged.
"You were inside, you heard her sing! Does it sound like she still wants to be your friend?"
I let go of Chelsea and gently nudged Justin to the side so I could talk to them.
"Alice, I'm sorry your hurting right now, it's not my intent, but I have a few broken pieces left of my heart and I have no desire to give them to the people who shattered it to begin with. You may not recall, but I wasn't the one who did the leaving. And you can wail and moan about Edward thinking it was best for me but you knew, Alice, I know you did. We were close enough you shouldn't have needed visions to know it wasn't a good move to up and leave. And I thought we were close enough that even your moronic brother wouldn't be able to convince you to abandon me. Since that obviously wasn't the case, you couldn't have been as close to me as you claim!"
Alice had stepped back from the eager position she had when I stepped forward, had she really expected me to forgive them instantly? She was now curled into Jasper, dry sobbing into his sweater.
"Bella, we only moved because-"
"Carlisle, do you really think I only was upset with him and Alice for leaving? You were as good as a father to me, Esme, a mother. Emmett, I considered you to be the big brother I always wanted. Jasper, we were never that close but I still thought of you as my brother! Even Rosalie, for God's sakes, I considered you my sister even when I thought you hated me! I loved all of you and you ripped away every trace of that I had. He told me 'it will be like I never existed' LIKE HELL!! LOOK AT WHAT IT DID! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW OR SHOULD I JUST RIP THE REST OF MY HEART INTO SHREDS FOR YOU????" I screamed that last part at them and then turned back into Chelsea's waiting arms, signalling Justin to do the rest of the talking.
"As you can see, your leaving didn't exactly have the effect you intended. I will tell you the relevant bits so that you can be on your way and I can tend to my friend Bella. She was changed by Laurent after she stumbled into what she always calls "his meadow". The wolved ripped him off her and killed him but she was already changing. She left and found us 10 years ago. Now you can go."
He said, making a slight gesture in the other direction.
"We can't just leave!" Alice sobbed.
"We are living in this area now and we actually came to the club because we heard of other vampires and wanted to see how they hunted. When I saw Bella I assumed you were vegetarians but..." He looked at the bodies and cringed. "I don't see how you can leave the bodies.."
"Simple, these two " he said, pointing to the ones he and Chelsea had drained. "Are drug dealers who have a large amount of drugs on them, the other is a would-be-rapist and will look like he was buying drugs from the other two but was then shot by whoever shot the dealers."
"But they haven't been shot?"
At that, Justin pulled out his gun. It was specially made to make little or no noise but the bullets were the same as any other gun so it wasn't distinctive. He shot them all right wherever we had bit them.
"Problem solved, now we really have to dash. My coven member needs some alone time according to my mate." He said after listening to what Chelsea had whispered in his ear. "Perhaps we'll see you again sometime?"
They moved to the side to let us through, still staring in shock when Carlisle piped up. "Perhaps you would join us for an evening at our house?"
Justin looked at Chelsea and she nodded. "Alright, does tomorrow work? My 'singer' " he joked, ruffling my hair, "keeps us busy most nights."
"Tomorrow will be fine." Carlisle assured us. And with that we took off.
_-_-_-_-_-_
I spent that night frantically trying to gather some composure for the upcoming meeting and by the next day I felt I could face them without exploding or sobbing hysterically. So we took off to the Cullens house, following their scent from the previous night. I had refrained from looking at him last night and knew I had to do the same today if I wanted to keep my cool.
We got there and Alice opened the door. I almost gave up and left right then but Chelsea said "Bella, you need this. You know you can always trust me to be there for you. No matter what happens, we will always be here. Don't forget that and let it give you the strength to talk to them. That's all this is, you don't need to do anything else. Just talk and maybe you'll be able to get enough closure that you can at least heal a little."
She was right, so I held onto her and Justin's hands, they were on either side of me, and walked into the house.
It was very similar to their house in Forks but I refused to acknowlege much of my surrondings. I tried to just look at the floor so I could avoid the stares I could feel from here. Justin and Chelsea sat down on either side of me on the couch they had led us to. Justin started the talking after a moment of tense silence. "I'm not avery big fan of your coven, I already know all your names and powers so no need to introduce yourselves, but I want to apologize for my behavior last night. My wife says that Bella still needs to talk to you so I will try to refrain from yelling at you again, I will stop you if Bella needs that and trust me, we will know."
"Alright, but before we begin, may I ask your names?" Carlisle asked politely.
"I'm Justin and my lovely wife's name is Chelsea."
"Do you have any powers?" Emmett asked excitedly.
"In a way, though they are more accentuated instincts than gifts. I can tell when someone had a dark side and how pronounced it is. Chelsea can tell if you need something. That is what I meant be knowing what Bella needs. Bella herself is the most talented of us, of course!" He said with a chuckle.
"What?!? What can you do Bella??" Emmett sounded so excited, I actually smiled. I haven't done that since they left. Chelsea beamed at me and Justin smiled and put his arm around me proudly.
"Bella is one of the most powerful shields ever! She is constantly protected from any mental attack by anyone, including those of the Volturi. She can also extend that cover to those she choses if they are within a mile of her self. That's why he can't read our minds."
"I was wondering about that." My heart broke a little more upon hearing that voice. His voice. I would remain strong for my family though. I looked up to Carlisle and asked "I promise I will try to be civil, is there anything in particular you want to talk to me about tonight?"
EPOV:
I listened to the voice of my angel. I had never stopped loving her for a moment and had lived in constant agonizing pain only holding out because I thought she was living a happier life without me. And this it what my brilliant plan came to.
I heard Carlisle answer her question. "We just wanted to catch up, we've missed you"
Biggest. Understatement. Ever.
Missed doesn't begin to cover the pain I felt the last 25 years.
She replied "I've been singing for a good 20 years now and it's helped me cope a little bit better. Of course, my family has been the biggest help with that." I felt everyone cringe internally when she said her family. All of us still considered Bella to be part of out family. "Oh, and Jasper, I wanted to let you know that I don't blame you for what happened even a little bit and never did, okay?"
Jasper's thoughts of gratitude, wonder, and happiness fell on deaf ears as I realized what I had to do. After a few minutes of mindless conversation that meant nothing, I finally spoke up. "Bella, can I please talk to you alone?"
_-_-_-_-_-_
BPOV:
"Bella, can I please talk to you alone?"
I didn't think my heart could take it but I knew I had to try. Justin looked a little worried so I squeezed his hand before letting go. Chelsea had already nodded, knowing I needed this. I stood up and walked to the front door, said "you coming?" over my shoulder and ran out into the woods.
I stopped about 2 miles out and he came to a halt right next to me. "Alright, what did you want to talk about?" I said, barely staying behind my compsed mask.
"Bella, I need to apoplogize. I left because I thought it would keep you safe but obviously that backfired on me and I want you to know I am so so so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been but-" I cut him off.
"Edward, it's not your responsibility to constantly be watching out for me. I appreciate what you are saying but don't worry about not protecting me. I won't say I am fine now because that is obviously not true but I am almost happy sometimes. I have a family who love me and are always there when I need them and we would never have met had that not happened. So don't beat yourself up over it. Now if you just wanted to apologize-" He cut me off this time.
"Bella, you silly girl. Let me finsih before you interrupt. Of course I feel guilty for leaving you to this but that is certainly no all I am apologizing for."
"I don't understand"
"I'm a good liar, Bella. I have to be. You weren't going to let go. I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you. Obviously this wasn't the case but still, how could you believe me so quickly? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me? I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"
This became too painful. I carefully went through what this could be because it obviously isn't reality. "Okay.. did I meet and illusionist?"
"What?"
"An illusionist or maybe the last 20 years were really a dream and I am dreaming this.. maybe I died and went to heaven... I wonder which one happened" I said out loud.
"You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy. Only you could be more important than what I wanted… what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again."
I gave up on trying to resist, I jumped on him and kissed him and he kissed me eagerly back. After a few moments, or minutes or hours... anyway, we broke apart and I whispered "That was definitely worth the pain."
"What pain?" he looked terrified.
"The pain it will cause when I wake-" I saw the look on his face "Fine, when you leave again."
"If there was only some way to make you see that I can't leave you. Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you. I'll earn your trust back somehow. If it's my final act."
I finally started to believe he really did still love me. "Come on, we should get back to the others."
"Bella, I need to know. Do you still love me? Do you still want me around?"
"Of course, you idiot! I've always and will always love you. It'll take a good long while for you to regain my trust but I definitely love you." At this he grabbed me and kissed me again. I broke it off and grabbed his hand and ran back to the house.
When we entered everyone looked up and saw us both smiling and holding hands. The shock wore off and Carlisle said "Welcome back to the family Bella, we've missed you so much!" Alice and Emmett ran over to me and hugged me and Carlisle and Esme came over as well, though in a more dignified way. Even Jasper and Rosalie looked happy. In fact, the only people who looked unhappy were my new family. Once I had finished with the hugs from the Cullens, I said "Carlisle, as much as I appreciate that, I don't know that I can come back. I love Justin and Chelsea and they were there for me during the worst possible part of my life. I can't just up and leave them now that you guys have come back. It's not fair to them and it;s not fair to me for you to expect that. I love you all dearly but I need to go home with my family now and talk about what we are going to do. Please come to my show tomorrow night and I will try to make a decision by then." And with that my coven and I ran back to our house.
_-_-_-_-_-_
EPOV:
"Edward?" my father questioned.
I was still staring out the door like a lovestruck idiot which, in fairness, I was. "Bella said she still loves me. She said she would give me a chance to rebuild her trust in me." That was all I cared about right now.
"But Edward, she just left."
"I know, but she didn't live with us last time and our relationship wasn't hindered by it then."
"What if they move away?"
"Well, either we all move with them or I'll move with them and come and visit you frequently." I refused to let any of there other arguments mar my perfect day, the first I'd had in 25 years, so I ran to my piano and played her lulaby with the worlds largest grin and a heart full of hope for what the future might bring.
_-_-_-_-_-_
BPOV:
I had talked with my family for hours last night and had decided to go with the Cullens. Justin and Chelsea and I would always be close but they wanted to spend some time alone for a few years and then they would come and visit. I was getting ready for my last show. I had cancelled all the others but the one tonight I would feel bad because I gave them less than 24 hours notice. I had decided to let my fans pick my songs tonight.
I walked onto the stage. "Hey everybody, I decided tonight I am going to do 2 requests and then a special song at the end. So, what's the first request?" I heard several people shout for Torn so I started in.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn
"That song was dedicated to my best friend Jacob. He loved me but I was still mourning over a lost love and had to tell him no. I haven't seen him much lately but I wrote that song for him. Next request?" I heard the call for A Fine, Fine Line. So I started in but as I sang I looked right at Edward.
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.
And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...
There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
Edwards face was so full of pain I quickly started talking.
"Again, I wrote that for the man who broke my heart but he recently came back to me and I think, in time, he may be able to help me put it back together. I'd like to call him up here for the fina song if he'd be so kind." I said, beconning Edward up onto the stage. "Edward, this is for you."
Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more
I bid my audience a goodnight and jumped straight into Edwards arms. As he held me close, I told him I would stay with him and his family for as long as he wanted me.
"Forever" he replied.
The Cullens welcomed me into their home with open arms and within days I considered them my family again. Edward and I were married after 6 months because he insisted on it before we had sex which I was eager to try. My old coven visits every couple of years and continues their diet, though I switched to all vegetarian again. They are happy and healthly and fine with the fact that I am not there as long as they know I'm happy. They tell me everytime that I can always come back to them if I ever need to and, though I'm glad to know they still love me, I know I never will. Who'd have thought that after everything that happened, I'd still get my happily ever after?
Author's note:
Okay, so I intended to write this as several chapters but I ended up writing the whole thing in one sitting so I am just going to post it as 1. I hope you enjoyed it. I warned you it wasn't even remotely original but I had a good time writing it so hopefully you enjoyed reading it. If you did, please review! If not, you can still review but I don't see much point in this. I gave warning it wasn't original and if you didn't like the plot then the summary should have warned you away. Feel free to flame but it won't stop me from posting the plot bunnies that scurry through my mind!