AN: A gift for a friend, and yeah, the ending is a bit daft but it was fun to write because I think I ship PrUK now

WARNING?: yeah, well, lap dances. Kinda that right there.

DISCLAIMER: Of course, Hetalia's not mine

England was most definitely drunk. He had to be, America mused from his corner of the bar, to be that close to France and not shouting profanities. Alfred sipped his Coke (for the hero had offered to be the designated driver tonight - plus it was a French bar, and the wines were really weird tasting) and watched as the French nation turn red as Arthur murmured something in his ear. Wow, it had to be bad for France to blush.

Arthur three back his head and laughed, and the sloped off towards the bar for more wine. Prussia and Spain swamped France, and America chuckled into his glass, as he heard yells in what he thought was French. He decided to watch this unfold, as Arthur seemed to be heading back in the direction of the trio again.

Prussia and Spain sat back in their seats to watch the show, and France's eyes nearly popped from their sockets as England stalked towards him. It wasn't so much the strange strutting England was doing, America realised, but the fact Lady Marmalade was playing.

America shot up, sensing a viral video happening, and slid along to the booth behind the table where the three friends sat, phone slipping into his hand.

As the sultry voices dripped from the speakers, so did England's clothes; to the floor. His jacket already lay discarded on a chair, but as of now, he was shrugging off his jumper and flinging it over France's shoulder. Then it was the tie, which was predictably flung around France's neck as England straddled his waist and pulled Francis into his chest. America wasn't sure how to describe the following movements - grinding? Maybe, but England was doing something on France's lap that had the Parisian glowing red, and his best friends giggling like 12 year old girls.

The giggling caught England's attention, who in turn caught Spain's eye, who then wolf whistled at him. The Englishman must have taken it as a challenge, for just as the verse ended, he pushed himself from France's lap (he seemed rather upset by this turn of events, though obviously not that much as the bulge in his trousers indicated) and much like a cat stalks a mouse, pounced on the Spaniard who nodded appreciatively as England shrugged off the shirt he ws wearing, baring his chest.

Maybe the would be an 18+ video, America thought to himself as he watched gleefully as his old caretaker pulled Spain's lips to his and began a very… intimate session. America swore later that he saw Spain slide his hands down England's trousers, thought the video footage wasn't clear enough for that. It seems any grudges the two had were forgotten in those few moments. A cry of

"Hey no fair!" broke the two apart, as Prussia sat, eyes ablaze with glee and mischief, and England seemed to agree with this statement, and so left Spain too, alone and rather excited.

Prussia hadn't actually been expecting it, America gauged so much from his reaction, as England pulled him to his feet, and sliding the unbuttoned shirt from his arms, pulled Prussia's hips to his. At this, Prussia didn't seem too surprised, seeming to have relaxed into the situation. He slid his hands down England's back, over his small little bottom, and under his thighs, hoisting him up so the blonde was wrapped around his waist. England laughed, pressing himself so close to the red-eyed man that they stumbled back into the wall behind them, lips locked in a kiss that seemed endless…

…till France lept from his chair, yanked Arthur from the Prussian's body and slapped his friend across the face.

The yell was heard even over the music, though nobody took any notice (as the regulars here knew these nation people were odd fellows) except Spain and America, who slid closer forwards so he could get the best shot of what promised to be a fight for England's lap dances.

Oh, apparently it was a three way fight. As France had begun his attack on Prussia, Spain had offered the Englishman on the floor his hand, and they were about to embrace once again, when Prussia snatched England back again.

As you can imagine, this went on some time, so long that America's phone died and the rest was lost to the night, as the four drunk nations stumbled into the night.

However, England could tell you what happened next. Could if you could make him that is, he doesn't like to divulge what happened, but I'll let you into the secret.

After they left, the three best friends were locked in an intense battle to bed the now horny and eager Englishman. England egged them on as punches were thrown and insults about each others mothers were hurled across the street. Somehow, they managed to stagger all the way to England's house, climb the stairs, and it was at England's bedroom door, the dispute was ended.

Spain was bleeding profoundly from the nose, and even in his drunk state, was yelled at for destroying carpets, so was out of the running due to wads of bloody tissue being a major turn off. England was then flung onto the bed, and Prussia had pinned him down by his shirt, when a large body flew into him, sending the Prussian into a heap on the floor.

So France won, and well, the rest…

Well it was more than a lap dance, shall we say? Once the bleeding stopped, and England and France had fallen asleep in each others arms, the two drunk and battered losers fell into the spaces between them to get some very needed sleep.

When England awoke the nest morning, needless to say he had a massive hangover and could;t remember the for the life of him what had happened and why there were three other men in his bed. Until he got ahold of a computer.

I'm sure you're also wondering how I could finish this story for you.

Hi. I'm Canada.