Disclaimer: I don't own La Corda D'Oro. I wish I do.
Summary: Pain and hate brought them together. And so does love.
~.~
"Hey, won't you . . . fall in love with me?"
That was the last thing he heard from her.
The next day after she asked that question, she was gone. She'd left, leaving no trace or anything that was of hers. Well, except for that hollow hole lingering inside his heart ever since; yearningly, frustratingly still even after a year. A void she could only fill.
Tsuchiura Ryoutaro shifted from his seat comfortably, settling the bouquet of pink Carnations gently on his lap as he did. He turned his head back towards the window, watching the fleeting scene as the bus continued to move on to their destination. He looked on even though he wasn't exactly looking.
She was the only one in his eyes since that day.
He never really gave her an answer. Not that he wouldn't – more like he couldn't; because as frivolous as the kisses and caresses and the intimacies they shared on particular nights, he never really gave the thought of falling in love with her a serious mulling over. Heck, he never even considered the thought until she asked. Hence, he was surprised when she did; and totally confused.
Their deal was to make their relationship as inconsequential as ever. They won't be able to otherwise even if they wanted to. She was in love with another man. He had been falling for someone else. There's no reason for them to be with each other in the beginning, except, perhaps, for the fact that fate decided that their own love isn't meant to be, leaving them both victims of lonely days and heartaches and tears. And the funny thing was they wound up being with each other in the end; brought together by pain, licking each other's wounds.
No strings attached, she said. That, he could deal. Thus, he agreed.
"Kifumura Entrance. Last stop, Kifumura Entrance."
Tsuchiura blinked, the bus' notice drawing him out of his reverie. This is his stop. He stood up from his seat, carrying the Carnations in his right arm just as he would with one of Kanazawa-sensei's cats back at Seisou. He slowly made his way to the front of the bus as the vehicle made its gradual stop. At its final break, he dismounted it, his steps certain yet hesitant at the same time. It's been a year since the last time he visited her and even after all those months, he still couldn't keep that feeling of emptiness from taking hold of him every time.
From the clearing where he stood, he saw the length of the paved flight of steps that leads up to the shrine. It has a total of exactly a hundred as he could recall – he managed to count it the previous year and unless some kind of renovation had occurred, he would bet it would still be the same. Highly unlikely, he thought. Then he started ascending it.
How she ended up falling for him he didn't really know. Apart from exploiting her almost every night, taking advantage of her willing abandonment of herself, her pride, and pretty much her whole being, he couldn't think of anything that could lead to such emotions to come about. He hurt her, manipulated her, and used her to his own benefit. And she did pretty much the same with him. A deleterious sense of mutual understanding. Hate, disgust, regret – those, he could understand more. Those feelings are reasonably more fitting.
But love?
Tsuchiura stopped in the midst of the long stoned stairs, the incomprehensible question causing him to pause.
Love was simply not us. It never ever was.
Blemishes of sun rays fell over him, its radiance passing through the gaps of the leaves from the trees surrounding the vicinity. He raised his head, his face welcoming the warmth of daylight, hoping it would somehow ease his confusions.
Yet, why?
He was answered by mere silence. And perhaps forever will be.
He carried on, his heart growing heavier with his every step. It wasn't always easy each and every time. He comes complete, braced and very much willing. But as he drew closer to his destination, he come to pass as lesser the person he used to be – uncertain, bared and broken.
Reaching the top he went on, not pausing this time to even catch a glimpse of the said shrine. He detoured to his right, following the narrow pavement leading to its resident graveyard a couple of meters away from the temple. It was always a wonder to him, how a sacred worship place be acquainted with something as dreary, cruel and disheartening as a graveyard. Then again, it was least of his concerns.
He arrived finally, not even once lost for he knew where she lays by heart. He kneels, laying the pink Carnations down as he goes by the headstone of which it bears the name he knew he would never forget ever in his whole life; the name that would constantly haunt him, reminding him of what they were once upon a time.
"I have come again," he said, his voice unusually wistful and hurting that it sounded so foreign to his ears. He ran his fingers across the golden-engraved name, reminiscent, and with his voice as woeful as it could ever be, he whispered her name.
"Manami."
~.~
A/N: Please don't send me death threats! A short review will do. Thank you for reading!=)