Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or any of its characters or anything that has to do with Peter Pan. Although, I do have this cute pair of earrings I bought in Disneyland!
I want to be your Pillow
"I had a lovely evening, thank you. Good night." She said before she inserted the key and turned the knob. She disappeared in the darkness the house had borrowed from the night.
He remained still as the door closed behind her; he had insisted on making sure she got home safely. But, now that she had closed the door and walked in the hallways of her fabulous house, he wondered why he didn't move.
He took a few steps on the cemented path that guided to the front door of the Daidouji mansion. He looked up at every window of the house. A light turned on. Now he had made sure she arrived safely to her room.
Still he didn't move. He should make sure she went to bed. He knew Daidouji-san could skip her bedtime if she didn't feel like sleeping.
However, there was a small complication in his plan: the soft amber light smiled high over his head to the leaves of a tall oak tree; hence, he could neither see a hair nor make out a sound from Daidouji-san. Looking around, he searched for something that would aid him in the conquest of the enormous tree. The front yard was dominated by many other types of flora, which protected both sides of the house. He took two steps and looked around one more time. The grass was green and flowers were sprouting from the ground. He didn't want to step on them and end with innocent lives. Magic would be the best choice for the moment.
Once he had checked for any curious passerby or neighbor, he closed his eyes and whispered a few words in Latin. Then, like cool tails, the winds coiled around his legs and carried him just high enough and far enough to reach the branch of the oak tree.
Changing into a comfortable position, he sat on the branch and peeked inside the illuminated room. There was Tomoyo. The black dress she had worn at the party was hanging neatly next to her closet. She looked tired. A hand flew to her mouth to cover a yawn from sight. Even tired she kept her manners. The same hand went to her hair and, like a river at night, it ran down her back and escaped the cruel pin that had restrained it. She took a brush, and started passing it through the rich black tresses. The locks of hair looked smooth and docile under the brush, yet strong enough as not to break. Just like Tomoyo. She put the brush down and turned the lights off before burying her body in the warm bed.
Now she was in bed, and still he didn't move. He had made sure she got safely to her house, her room, her bed…but now he wanted to make sure she made it safely to her dreams. Who knew what malicious creature might come and torment her sleep with sneaky tricks in nefarious nightmares?
Her eyes were open and they closed from time to time. Every blink seemed longer than the previous one, until her eyes opened no longer. She was asleep now. Soon she would be dreaming. He could leave now, but it was better to wait, he said to himself.
He watched her sleep, her body moving with every deep breath, her hands lying on the white pillow. He felt envious of that pillow. For a second he contemplated the idea of being a pillow, yet not just any pillow, but the pillow under her head.
Her black hair fell like silk over the contrasting white pillow. Her hands moved sometimes, and her fingers caressed the soft material of the pillow in her sleep. Her cheek was pressed against it, and her regular breaths sent warmth to the same spot.
He thought about it a little more. The pillow was always the first thing she would see in the morning, when her blue eyes opened for the first time on a new day. Then she would smile and her arms around the pillow would embrace it even tighter as she sighed refusing to get up and leave its side. He could see her nose, inhaling her own essence that must get caught on the white fabric. The pillow would carry her smell the entire day as a promise that during the nights it would rejuvenate in her fragrance under the moonlight.
He pondered a little more upon the idea. The pillow was there to protect her too. It was there when a sound threatened to wake her up. He could see her pressing the soft pillow harder against her ears to prevent the sound from reaching her. Or maybe when somebody opened the curtains and the spiteful light of the sun tried to sting her almost lavender eyes in the morning, then she would press the pillow against her face to block the sun away. It was there to prolong her stay on the dream world for a few minutes more, before returning to reality.
Even more, it helped her cope with reality too. He could imagine her, repressing tears and sobs, until she was in that silent room, where nobody could see a crystal tear or hear a soft cry. He knew she packed the pillow between her hands and face, drowning all those sobs and tears that were not meant for the world to see or hear but she could not hold inside any longer. He knew. He just knew. That white pillow was her comfort, and he wished he could be that.
Tomoyo made a sudden movement of her arm and Eriol smiled wistfully. She must be dreaming by now, he thought. He felt sad he couldn't take care of her in her dreams. Maybe the pillow could, right under her head, close to her thoughts and dreams. He saw her smile, as if hiding a secret, and she concealed both face and secret deeper in the warmth of the fortunate pillow.
He noticed it then. Every night while she slept and her face rested untroubled on the pillow, her lips touched it most of the night— like a kiss, like a delicate and sweet kiss. An inanimate object, a lifeless thing, was lucky enough to be kissed by her. He envied this more than everything else.
He wondered if she had ever kissed someone, if her lips had ever made such a tender contact with another human being. His eyes went blank as he got lost in his thoughts, in his questions, in the wonders and mysteries that Daidouji-san was to him.
"Hiiragizawa-kun?" Her soft whisper woke him up.
She had seen him. Now what could he say? She would probably get mad and accuse him of being a stalker. He prepared himself to see her face fluster in anger and yell to him to go away. Instead she smiled, a small smile meant only for him.
"Please don't tell me you've been out there all night." He dropped his head to avert her eyes. She giggled, but covered her mouth to quiet herself. "Don't you get cold?" She saw him shaking his head.
She sighed and looked at the bright, silver moon. "You used magic to get up there, didn't you?" He nodded since he refused to talk. Her eyes soften as a dark cloud moved in front of the moon, and it absorbed the silver light and made the night darker. "It must be wonderful to be able to fly." He looked at her. Her pale skin glowed under the night sky, and he decided that she had been created with snow, instead of dust like the other common humans.
"May I ask for a favor, Eriol-kun?" He heard the question and his name on her lips, and the reaction was immediate and almost mechanical when he said "Anything".
She paused and smiled again, when the wind blew away the grey cloud, revealing the round moon. "Just this night, would you teach me to fly?"
He met her eyes. There was something different in those eyes. They were softer, wider, and more innocent. Her request came as if from a six-year-old, but she was the same girl in pajamas standing by the window. Not the youthful woman Kaho had been, or the composed child she had always played, but the girl in pajamas asking to fly for one night.
He descended from the branch, moved closer to the window and took her hand. He said a few words and Tomoyo felt herself floating in the air. With her hand in his, Eriol took her out of the room and taught her to fly.
They flew over parks and houses, some more familiar than others. They spun in the air, and bathed with the shower of pale light coming from the silver moon. They rested on the top of trees, and he watched her danced over the branches. Her arms raised, her eyes closed, and her legs supported by her feet on tiptoe, just like a ballerina.
The night was young, so was their new spirit that had been born in the last hour. But as the wind started to blow stronger, their energy started to fade away, and their laughs transformed in quick breaths by the time they reached her house.
She had no more strength to fly, so he took her in his arms and let her go when they reached the window. But her arms didn't release him. Her embrace became tighter and he recognized it as a hug.
His arms surrounded her, and he knew he would value every second of this moment, of this night. But he broke apart, and she smiled. Then he knew what was different in her eyes, they were not shielded anymore. This night, she had let him see her as she really was, without hesitation or mask.
"Thank you Peter Pan. You've just taken me on a little trip to Neverland." She joked.
"Anytime you wish, Daidouji-san. Too bad I'm not Peter Pan, otherwise I would take you to the real Neverland, and you could fly forever if you wanted to."
"You might not be Peter Pan, and this may not be Neverland, but tonight it felt like it. Our appearance and lives might change, but our hearts should always keep the good feelings we had as children."
She pointed at the left side of his chest. "I know you're struggling with the child in your heart, but tonight you let him out, so did I. As long as we let them live in our hearts, we can always be Peter and Wendy and travel to Neverland." She cupped his face in her hands, and drew him closer into a light kiss, just a mere touch of lips, but with a priceless meaning.
"That's the part I like about not being complete children anymore." They smiled. "And from now on it is Tomoyo-chan. Good night Eriol-kun." She closed her window and got into bed with no other word.
Eriol said nothing, but smiled and went home. He walked home.
In the comfort of his house, with the almost inaudible snores coming from a sleeping Spinel, and the much more audible snores from Nakuru, he lay down on his bed. His brain was slowly studying the hours that had just passed, and it came to a satisfactory conclusion. Eriol had won against the pillow. Tomoyo might be "kissing" it while she was sleeping in the night, but it wasn't able to do one thing: kiss her back.
Author's Note:
This is my first one-shot. Just a silly idea I had when I woke up. Really, I woke up and it was there! If you liked the story I would deeply appreciate it if you left a review or any other comment that might help me in my writing.
Revised and edited on 11 February 2006.
Thanks for reading,
Cristal-Shian