"Eren, I don't think we should be together."
Levi's words sank through Eren's core. The smooth rushing sound of the fountain expanded between them and became the only sound he could hear. He wanted to say something to fill the silence. There were so many thoughts filling his mind, but none of them really meant anything.
"Why," Eren managed to ask.
After hearing his voice struggle to make the sounds, he felt it stand between them like a wall. A few birds flew by, calling to each other. They sounded like sirens blaring. Eren watched Levi shift his position against the fountain wall. He turned is head to face Eren. Eren watched the wind slowly blow his hair across his face. Levi's face was pained, but his eyes were empty. Eren focused intently on it. There was no need for words anymore; they could only do harm.
The world around them was getting dimmer. Eren could not see the sun clearly above him. The sky seemed to have lost all color even though he knew it was at its most beautiful red. Eren could make a list of everything he did wrong, he could list out all the times he felt hurt, he could list out all the times he felt happy, but it wouldn't matter. They made too many mistakes.
Eren looked away. He heard a bicycle circle by, ringing its bell. The bricks under him seemed to stare back. He watched a leaf shrivel past him in the late summer breeze.
"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry for forcing you into this. It was my fault for getting my hopes up. I never wanted to make you feel bad."
"Eren, that's-"
"It's fine, Levi. There's no point in talking anymore."
Eren tried to walk away. He put his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and braced himself against the wind. Levi watched him leave. He wanted to cry, but no tears would come out. There was no reason for this to happen. Why did he have to say goodbye? Eren tried to focus his attention on the sound of his shoes against the bricks or the feeling of strain in his legs. Eren didn't know why he was so upset. It was bound to happen someday. He knew going into it that it would probably end like this. But that didn't stop the empty feeling from growing deep inside him.
Getting on the escalator down to the train platform, Eren stared at the dark tunnel before him. The space next to him felt incredibly empty. His arms felt empty too. He wanted Levi to fill it somehow, but he knew he never would. The loneliness Eren was feeling was deeper and more complicated than that. This loneliness could never truly be filled. It was a loneliness that is fundamentally there in every person. Staring at the dark tunnel, Eren understood this for the first time. An anxiety washed over him. The distance between him and the bottom was smaller now, but the tunnel was blurrier. He rubbed his eyes in confusion.
Why am I crying?