Okay, guys! This is batgirl1234 here! Or you can call me Batwing. Hehehe, get it?! Sivillian gave me permishion to do a commentry on her story called Tom! My comments will be in bold. See! I dont want to write my own storys cause they take a long time, so I think Ill just do commentrys. Maybe like starkits and obsidianwing NEXT.

Chapter One of a very, very Gary-stu fanfiction titled "Tom" (DUH!)

The five starry cats stared into the misty pool. A blue-gray she-cat looked into its depths. Flashes of dark images swirled in the water's pool. She looked up at the other warriors. "I have seen a prophecy." (Nose way! Why else would yall be there?! Coffee and donuts?!)

"As have I." A bracken-colored tom nodded, his green eyes darting up and then back down to the calm pool. (Oakheart and Bluestar. SOOOO original! What happened to ThrushpeltxBluestar huh?!)

"Yes, I see it, too." A massive white tom with huge jet-black paws meowed in a gruff voice. (NOSE! Blackstar is my FAVORITE EVER! I am Batwing of Shadowclan for Starclan's sake! WHYYYY?!)

"There is no mistaking it." A stony gray tom with brown flecks agreed.

The last cat, a small silver-gray tabby with soft white underfur and deep green eyes, looked at each cat in turn. "I... I see it, too, and it may change the Clans forever." (UGGGHHHH, blargggy! Hurry up!)

More and more cats padded into the hollow. They came to hear the prophecy. (Hurry uuuup!)

"Well, Bluestar, would you like to do the honors?" The former WindClan medicine cat meowed impatiently.

The blue-gray leader sat up straight, flicking her blue eyes at each cat. With one more glance at the scene appearing in the pool, she spoke clearly, her voice ringing through the hollow. "A tom of golden fur and bright glowing eyes will bring the Clans together and clean the forest of its scars." (OOOOHHHH, so garystu already!)

"You should pass this on to Firestar. He will need to hear of this." One of the star-pelted cats suggested. (No duh)

"Yes, of course." Bluestar padded out of the stony hollow, leaving the other four cats by the pool. (Is Bluestar a loner now?!)

a/n: RATE AND REVIEW! This story was made on a purpose by Sivillian and I have FULL PERMISSION to repost and comment!

-Batgirl1234

-Batwing of SHADOWCLAN!