Who has seen the promo for way to go? Well, if ya haven't the end bit has gil in his office with sara walking up behind him and puting her hand on his shoulde so this is where this story came from...

It does have spoilers...

disclaimer: I own zip.

One life.

One decision.

Wrong decision.

The delicate surgeon performed the delicate procedure. The artery was clipped and Captain Jim Brass bled out. They stabilised him but he was put on a life support machine.

One more decision had to be made.

Gil wanted to be the only one in the room as the Doctor mechanically pressed certain buttons. Her felt the eyes of his friends on his back, looking through the glass. The flat noise of the heart monitor buzzed in his ears.

One Life.

Gone.

His office was a sanctuary, like an oasis in a desert or an island in a stormy sea. Gil was slumped back in to his chair that normally seated Sara or Nick or Greg, Warrick or Catherine…Jim… He wanted his back to the door, but he didn't know why.

There was brilliant, white flash of lightening, so intense it would normally draw breath from him. The clouds were not black but a golden- pink billow of foam with plum rotting at the centre of them and a thunderous boom resonated off the roof.

He sat perfectly still and air from lungs expelling through his nose. Gil was filled with fear and abhorrence and sadness. He kept questioning himself, his decisions. If anyone ever asked him to describe his concept of hell, he would think of this night. He felt he had been hollowed out and a sense of throbbing, crushing pain had bitterly crawled in and nested. Moments kept passing in which he did nothing but allow himself to feel the immensity of injustice in life. He swallowed. Goosebumps appeared over his form then subsided. Jaw clenched. Grinding. A small swallow produced watery saliva. His tongue probed the smooth exterior of left upper fang and massaged the bottom molars on its biting surface. His dark pink tongue left the interior of his mouth, passing through teeth and slid back in. Gil brought both his hands up and they squeezed his neck muscles, applying pressure behind the ears and his forefingers dug in to his flesh. He pressed until the pain became unbearable and he returned to his original position. Very slowly, his mind became rather empty. He only focused on his physical senses, if anything. He sat in quietness for a long time, his elbows resting on his legs. Eventually, his head bowed. Gil replayed the murmur of the metallic beep that let him know that Jim was alive; over and over in his mind as if it was a monochrome flicker film.

Sara hovered outside Grissom's enticing but dim office. Sara could see how some saw it a morgue. Radiated foetal pigs contained in a large glass Jar, suffocated by colourless ooze. Insects with names she couldn't begin to pronounce inked the walls. It had its own special aroma. Several bookstands were to the left. They were carved with a spectrum of books. None of the main lights illuminated the room, only several mystic blue ones shimmer dim and darkly. Every atom of the place harboured so much mystery and misery that her lungs did not dare inhale the air. Sara had just lost her second father figure. She had private weep in the bathroom and then found out that she wasn't the only one from nightshift in the building. Nick and Greg had gone for a large drink. They had asked Sara if they wanted to join them, but Sara could only remember "there are more problems than answers at the bottom of a bottle," so she declined, asking them to just drop her off at P.D. She didn't want to go home. Catherine went to collect her daughter from Sam's. Warrick was following them home, to talk to Catherine. He needed comfort and he didn't feel like getting it from Tina, his supposedly beloved wife. Al' went home to see his wife. He was the only one with the true knowledge of procedure and he knew the amount of risk. One slip and it was over.

Game over.

Sara walked in, slow and softly. Gil was like a sepulchral statue; unmoving, chaste and cold, such very cool skin. She put her hand on his right shoulder and deflated under her warmth. The two separate silhouettes joined, melted together with a simple connection. Her smooth hands felt his subtle heartbeat hum in his large masculine shoulders. Neither of them moved except for the heavy falls of their chest.

"How are you feeling?" his voice was husky and unsteady.

He looked up at her and her head turned to look at him. Her cream skin was beautifully moulded over her cheekbones and her eyelashes were so long that they made distinct tiny shadows on her face. Her lips were dark, with out rouge. It became obvious to him that Sara had been crying recently.

"Tired, I guess."

"Have you eaten anything?"

She shook her head, even though he couldn't see her. She had already promptly vomited up any food that she had eaten in the last day, tears slipping down her cheekbones as the burning vomit simmered violently out of her pink burning mouth, though she wouldn't tell him that. Gil had already suspected the answer was 'no'.

"Well, you need to." The scientists stayed motionless in silence, until Sara broke it.

"What about you?"

"I'm not hungry," he said coolly.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant. I don't want to talk about it," his voice seemed to develop an echo.

"But-"

"I don't have to tell you everything, do I?" he snapped quietly.

She felt his words like a slap. Sara now really did feel dirty and cheap, disguarded like an old towel. They were only supposed to be going to his house so he could 'get something', he had not specified.An hour of comfort in bed with him. Sex. Biology. There had been several intimate moments in it but its was basic and sterile as if they were animals trying to breed. It was repulsive and disgusting.When it was done, it was like when Adam and Eve realised they were nude. They had looked at each, Sara cluching his bed sheet over her chest, and turned away. None of them spoke as the searched for thier clothing. The first timeGrissom had spoke to herwas after a phone call from Warrick about what had happened to Brass. All he said was "Hurry up and get your clothes on. Brass has been shot." Sara let a few tears dribble as she slipped on her pants. She didn't know what or who she was crying for. The news about Brass had only been half reconised. It didn't hit her until she saw everyone else was in the waiting room.

"No, I suppose you don't," she murmured.

He took a deep breath. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. At the bridge of his nose met his left thumb and forefinger, applying pressure to sides. His thumbprints rested on tear ducts. He was trying to keep his tears in. He felt the weight of hand shift as she turned to leave. He snatched quickly at her slender fingers and placed her hand back on his shoulder. He suffocated her hand with his. His head tilted and leaned against the pile of hands.

Sara couldn't look at him and she shut her eyes, pretending she was in a far anddistant place.

The cell phone, which was next to a glass that held a small swirl of amber at the bottom, vibrated. Gil answered it in a usual tone. At first he thought someone was playing a sick prank, all he heard was panting and groaning. He checked the called I.D. It was Warrick.

"Grissom, The car, it just flew off the road! Oh Jesus Christ!"

Warrick was shouting so loud, Grissom looked up at Sara, her brown eyes were wide. She heard.

"There is so much blood. Come Cath."Warrick coughed loudly, the dust and smoke was being inhaled and the taste of copper stained his teeth and tastebuds.

"Oh, God. Grissom, t-t-there's a metal pole sticking through her stomach…b-but she is breathing…her pulse is strong …Lindsey…"

There was some shuffling, material rubbing together and heavy quick breaths.

"There's something wrong with her neck…It's not right…I think her neck is broken…"

Warrick became more panicked.

"Grissom, I can't find her pulse... Grissom...what doI do? Grissom! Are you there?"

Sara pulled the cell phone away from Grissom hand. It slipped out so easily.

"Warrick, have you called the Paramedics?"

Sara didn't get answer.

There was a large whoosh of air, followed by a large thump and screams. Car alarms bleated and whined. She heard the sirens which were wailing like banshee's. There were several pants, deep breaths. They line was severed, disconnected.

Saralet out a small whimper.

Gil felt her hand tremor under his. He looked up and he thought that she going to faint, the blood rushing away from her face, draining it to white. Her face had been out of the California sun for so long, seemed almost leached – except for the glittering eyes, and the wet red mouth that was trembling. The look on Sara's face was one he hoped never to see. She looked devastated. Sara's eyes glittered, behind their slits. Her eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion and something close to despair and total disbelief.

"What happened?"

She wasn't responding. Gil stood up to look her in the eyes.

"Sara, what happened?"

He took hold of her shoulders, shaking her slightly.

"We got disconnected…Grissom...I think there was an explosion…"

meh is all i have to say for this story... thanks for reading x