I have two lives; I am two people. Neither one better than the other, no super powers, no save the world destinies. I am just an ordinary girl with an extraordinary secret. I am double my age and half my age, I am two people and one person, my life is a nearly impossible paradox. My two lives are not a gift but a curse, but I function and hustle forward in my impossible lives because I want what everyone wants: to be able to live, but I just want one life. But not everyone can get what they want can they?
My name is Elena Gilbert (in both my lives thank god). Currently I am in what I think of as my bad life, Im poor, live in the bad part of town, in the shitty city of Petersburg, in a crummy council house, with my dysfunctional but at the end of the day caring parents Grayson and Miranda Gilbert. The main plus in this live is my sweetheart of a four year old little sister Margaret (she is Elena's sister in the books).
Luckily in my other life I am rich, spoilt, loved, popular, have a great boyfriend, and a fantastic future. I live I the rich part of Mystic falls, my adoptive parents are Jenna Sommers and Alaric Saltzman, they're loving, cute, and give me all the freedom I could ever ask for. Though they are admittedly not my real parents but who cares, I never knew my biolgical parents they died in a car crash off Wickery Bridge when I was a baby, and having to separate families I'm not that bothered about biological ties. My sexy, amazing and sweet boyfriend Stefan Salvatore is perfect for me in every way. I have the most anazing best friends bonnie and Caroline and together we rule Robert E Lee high. My self destructive little brother Jeremy is the only problem I have to deal with. Consequently the prize for the best life ever goes to: you guessed it... Mystic Falls!
Every night at midnight i go through the worst part of both my lives - the change. In some sort of twisted version of Cinderella i change lives from the perfect princess to poor miserable slave girl (well not really but you get the picture). The change is unparalleled agony, and even though I go through it every 24 hours I am left with my heart pounding and palms sweating. I'm scared. Every. Single. Time.
"Elena! Are you even listening to me?" My best friend Meredith Fell demands, pulling me out of my internal babbling. I plaster a fake smile on my face in my on going fight to appear normal, I like to think of my self as a bit of a pro at the whole covering up of the two lives thing. To all of my friends I appear perfectly normal, well not quite that normal but normal enough that I'm not about to be chucked in the looney bin.
"Of course I'm listening to you... Er sorry what did you say again?" I reply sheepishly.
"I said do you want to come to the boat party tonight at Lisa's, Eric is is going to be there, you know he likes you!" Meredith raises her eyebrows suggestively; I mock punch her in the arm.
"Oh come on Mer you know I don't like him like that, but I'll come to the party just because i love you so much." It's not that I don't like Eric, he's just too innocent, with two lives I know too much of the world and naive and innocent is just not what I need in a guy, plus he looks a little like Jeremy my brother from my other life which is just creepy and a bit wrong.
"Okay i love ya babes, meet at the board walk tonight at about 10 then?" Meredith yells back at me as she twitches away.
"Kay, see ya later Hun." I call, back tossing my hair.
Right then I was totally unaware that at that party I was going to find out that that boat party was going to be my last in Peterburg, I was going to die. And worse yet I was going to plan my own death.
Coating my eyes with an over generous application of mascara and eyeliner (it was mac, the only thing I was able to indulge on in this life, but only thanks to a recent bout of shop lifting). I know I am the perfect girl in my mystic falls life, but I find that the easiest way to stumble through my lives with the least slip ups was to give my self totally different personalities. Consequently in this life I was an off the rails, self destructive, wild and a reckless bitch. Sometimes I loved it. As I shimmed into my supper cute Primark mini skirt I was amazed at what a slutty look could do. I had the same face and body in both my lives: thick chocolate brown curls that cascade down my back in a thick glossy mane; large doe eyes like drowning pools of melted chocolate; and dark tanned skin that always shone with a soft, bronzeed glow. In other words I am hot. In my shitty Petersburg life I'm judged as a rough, slutty, yob; but in faultless mystic falls I am seen as a perfect, sophisticated young lady. Even though I look, exactly, the, same. Go figure. Society is a sham, but a sham that helps me hide my secret, I shouldn't really complain.
I sort of stubble down the stairs, okay I admit it I'm not the most graceful in high heeled stilettos. After a quick holler of bye to my parents I'm free (well until midnight where I like to be back home to go through the change in private, call me an optimist).
By the time I arrive at the boat party the rave is well under way, Meredith and I fight our way through the crowd. Swaying, grinding, sweaty body's jostle me from side to side, and I can't help feel a little claustrophobic. No this is a party and I'm here to have fun I reprimand my self sternly.
"I need to loosen up a bit, I'm heading to the bar." I yell to Meredith over the pounding music.
"Kay I'm going to find Eric."
After ordering a vodka shot and a rum and coke I feel a little lighter and the dance floor seems very inviting all of a sudden. As I merge myself into the centre of the dancing mass, I begin to loose myself into the thumping music, my body moves sexily in time to pounding beat. A fair few guys come on to me but I pass them up, the stench of too much alcohol repels me. Yet after a few more drinks the tenth guy to approach me, seems much more appealing. We grind and dance together for about twenty more minuets. By this time I'm completely of my head and he seemed in even worse shape, but I was too drunk to care.
He starts to lead me away up to the deck of the ship and I stumble after him tipsily, only to have my little bubble of drunken happiness rudely burst by Meredith's infuriating yelling. "Elena what the hell do you think you're doing that guy is totally wasted."
"None of your of your bloody business." I shriek back furiously, well that's what I think I said but admittedly it came out a little slurred. Meredith can be so bossy and controlling , I think grumpily to myself. Defiantly I make my way up to the top deck oblivious to how possessively the guy is gripping my waist.
Out in the fresh, salty air of the ship's deck I quickly forget Meredith's bossiness. The stars twinkle friendlily bathing the ebony night sky a warm, golden glow. Dazzling, colourful strobe lights dance over the ship casting a rainbow riot of colour. I notice a pretty, glittering brings looming closer, Wickery Bridge, that name seems fimiliar I think fuzzily.
"It's very romantic up here," I murmur huskily to the guy, Ted, I just remembered his name, there i can't be drunk I think triumphantly to myself, Meredith was wrong as useuel.
"Yeah sure whatever," Ted replies dismissively. He leers down towards, his face twisting into a lustful, hungry sneer.
Suddenly Ted and the night sky doesn't seem so friendly, the night seems like a dark cloak obscuring me from the safety of the city lights. The once pretty strobe lights are now overwhelming, I can barley think. Desperately I try to squirm from his vice like grip to no avail. In a last ditch effort to brake free I aim a devastating blow to where I think it will hurt most. The hit goes a little wide, but he loosens his grip enough for me to escape.
Only to find myself trapped and pressed up against the railing of the ship, and the guy furiously lumbering towards me. We grapple together and time seems to slow down. Then things go from bad to worse. Suddenly, the curious sensation of rising up overcomes me and I'm face to face to the black inky depths of the water. The stars that shimmer and splutter ominously on the surface of the water like trapped, dying fireflies, the water seems to rise up towards me until the inky churning mass bloats out the rest of the word. Then I realise; I'm falling. I break the surface smashing my ribs painfully, my limbs flail desperate to escape the murky depths. But rolling waves catch me and I spin uncontrollably, I'm trapped in a deadly, rolling washing machien. Grasping fingers of straggly seaweed ensnare my legs in slimy bindings. Salty water forces it's way down my throat, it's icy cold but burns like fire as it chockes my lungs.
Then every thing goes calm. Tranquil, blessed peace washes over me and I accept the peaceful blackness that reaches up to claim me willingly. My world is dark. I've drowned. I'm dead. But worse yet this was not to be the first time I die. This was only just the beginning.
Black. That's all I see once I had clawed myself to the surface of consciousness. This is it, I think, I must be dead. No pearly gates, no fire and brimstone, no thoughtless nothingness, no reincarnation; I am trapped bodiless within my mind. Despair, disappointment and desperation bubbles through me. I had always believed there would be life after death after having two lives myself, I had believed in reincarnation, being reborn and had just assumed that I had been reborn at the same time by some cosmic mistake of the universe. Now I guess not, I was just a two lived freak. A bottomless, black pit of anguish openes up inside me. I do not want to be dead!
It was while I wallowed in self potty that Ib heard it. It sounded like a door creaking open, but that was impossible i was dead wasn't I?
"Elena wake up you will be late for school!" Aunt Jenna calls popping her face round the door.
"Oh my god!" Is my brilliant reply. I'm not dead! I feel like the biggest idiot ever now for my stupid, dark and deep thoughts just moments earlier. But I doesn't make any sense I had been drowning - dying even in my other life, yet now I feel fine. I leap out out of bed, scrupulously searching for any bruises or marks, nope there aren't any, my lips aren't blue and I am not dripping sea water! I am totally and completely healthy. But it's not possible physical marks and injurys always cross over in the change, I get a cut in one word I get a cut in the other, a tattoo or piercing they will always be the same in both lives, I die in one I die in the other. Don't get be wrong I'm glad I'm alive I just don't know how I am. There must be a fault in the change, the physical effects of my lives, don't cross over any more. Then it hits me I must be dead in my other life, but I get to carry on living in this one. I finally have what I've always wanted, only one life. It's too much for me and I feel nausea rolling through my stomach, it's just all too overwhelming.
I bolt into my en-suite bathroom and throw up messily down the toilet, just as Jenna barges into my room demanding what on earth is taking me so long!
"Oh drat Elena, you're going to have to stay home today, oh and it's your big play oh well I'll phone the school and have them reschedule it, I'll go grab you an aspirin." she says sympathetically.
I crawl under the covers happy to escape the embarrassment of our shitty school play. I allow my self a happy smile for the fist time in hours. I'm finally a normal girl.
I drift, in and out of sleep for the rest of the day my mind and body still exhausted from the memory of last nights accident (that's what I'm calling my death because drowning seems too sad a word for what is really an accident with a very happy result). I finally fall into a deep sleep just a couple of hours before midnight because for the first time in forever I'm finally not afraid to sleep, the change won't be able to take me...
I wake up to the feeling of hands, so many hands, grasping and pulling at me until I'm going up, up and up. This can't be right I'm supposed to be in my warm, soft Mystic falls bed, my mind screams to myself furiously inside me; my body is screaming another message at me altogether, I'm in agony. My befuddled mind desperately tries to piece together what is happening to me, but I can't work it out, the pain is to much to think past. The same previously grasping hands practically throw we down onto some hard, slippery surface, then pound repeatedly on my chest, but to my agonised body It feels like I'm being repeatedly run over with a monster truck. The pain builds and builds in angry red waves until I feel my chest might explode. Only it doesn't, the insistent appendages of unconsciousness claw me back into nothingness. The darkness claims me as its own once more.
"Beep, beep, beep..." Is the irritating sound that rouses me into wakefulness. Fluorescent white light bleaches my vision as I squint my bleary eyes open. Every breath feels like a tornado of scraping sandpaper is being forced down my lungs. I finally manage to pry my unwilling eyelids open and take stock of my situation. Complicated machines bleep and hum emitting rising and falling graphs, they are more than a little disconcerting. I'm dressed in a paper thin gown and numerous tubes are pumping mysterious liquids plugged into my body. Worse yet is the agony, my body feels like every part of me is being simultaneously bashed with a hammer and bathed in fire.
It doesn't take long for even my bewildered brain to realise what is going on and cause my word to come crashing down around me. I'm in hospital, I didn't drown, I still have two lives, I'm a still a freak. Just as I decide to curl into a ball and cry forever I realise just because I'm not dead now doesn't change anything. Physical still doesn't cross over in the change, I can still die in this life and go on living in my perfect Mystic Falls life. All I have to do now is die.
For a start all of these tubes can't be helping me on my quest towards death. I stumble shakily to my feet and begin ripping the tubes out, just as a kindly looking nurse rushes in.
"You're awake now poppet wonderful, now there's no need to fret you've just been in an accident—" she begins before breaking of suddenly upon realising what I'm doing.
"No, no honey don't do that those tubes are helping you get better," she says wrapping deceptive arm around me, her voice is soft and urging like she's talking to a wild animal. Which incidentally is exactly what I feel like, I buck and kick in her restraining grip desperately trying to break free.
The nurse quickly punches a button on the wall I hadn't even noticed was there, "I need back up in room 152 now," she bellows. I can't believe I thought she looked kindly earlier now she seems like a prison guard.
Just instants later two bulky looking nurses hurry in, armed with a mean looking syringe.
"This patient is resisting care and is showing signs of violent tendencies, I recommend sedation immediately," she informs them with the formal tone of a commanding officer of war, not a nurse. How did this escalate so quickly, I wonder worriedly to myself, still struggling to escape.
The nurses nod briskly and seem to exchange a silent message before advancing menacingly towards me. I increase my struggles to no avail, how am I going to get my shot at having only one life if I'm unconscious all the time. In a last ditch effort I try bitting the angry nurse, only to succeed in making her madder, consequently she slams me to the floor pinning me down with her vast weight. One of the other nurses uses the opportunity to plunge the syringe into my defenceless arm. Stinging pain the calming numbness flows through me and makes me cry out, "you don't understand I'm supposed to be dead, you have to believe me I've got to die!" I see the nurses eyes widen from fury to something far worse, pity, oh god i made her think i tried to commit suiside, what were they going to do to me now? My last thought is simply shit. Before I drift into the dark void of unconsciousnessh for what feels like the hundredth time...
Ok that was my first chapter i have another planned, do you guys think i should continue? I'm a newbie writter so please review constructive critisism is really welcome! Sorry for any mistakes im a really bad speller haha. Im going to introduce the other characters we love in the next chapters, i just wanted to set the scene for Elena in this one! Anyway thanks again please review all questions and suggestions welcome. Melissa !