Broken Pieces
AN: Here is a pairing I've wanted to do for a while-please welcome Egwene/Elayne, making their cannon pairings go 'poof!' for this fic at least. Poor Rand's lost one of his girls…oh well, surely two's enough to keep him on his toes! Set sometime after the Gathering Storm so there's spoilers, just be warned…the timeline's a bit iffy but I like it anyway.
Caemlyn was still, silent. It seemed strange to Elayne as she stood on a balcony, looking over her city. This was her job, wasn't it, to watch over Andor? She frowned, clenching her fists and feeling her nails digging into her palms. (The world was not right and she had no idea about what in the Light to do about it.)
The golden ring on her hand glinted in the moonlight, the serpent frozen as it swallowed its own tail. Perhaps it was a good representation of the Aes Sedai, with all their plotting, all their scheming.
Am I any better? A little voice whispered in the back of her skull, the Game of Houses is graven on my bones. I am Andoran but I plot like a Carhienin. Damodred blood most likely. She smiled a little at the last thought. No, it was because she was Aes Sedai that she was the way she was, and for better or worse she wanted the shawl. No, she had worked far too hard for it.
"What in the Light is wrong woman?" Birgitte groaned as she came onto the balcony. The Bodyguard, stationed around their young queen had to hide smiles. The odd relationship between Warder and Aes Sedai was now legend.
(Oh, if they knew who Birgitte really was!)
"Nothing," Elayne said mildly, golden curls falling around her face so the other woman couldn't see her face.
"You've got the crown soundly on your head and the bloody Darkfriends are trussed so bloody tight they can barely breathe. And yet you're brooding." Birgitte's words were matter-of-fact, as solid as the knot of emotions in her head.
"I was thinking…" Elayne said softly, "Living in these days makes one philosophical. Sometimes I wish that I had died before now." Tarwin's Gap had been breached and the Tower hunted those that had been part of it and fought with the Seanchan with desperate ferocity. (The world had gone insane, she was sure.)
"Well," Birgitte lowered her voice to a whisper, "Since I wasn't born I can't share that sentiment. And in any case, I think for us, death is merely a time in between." Elayne frowned.
"For you, certainly," She muttered back.
"And for you," Birgitte said with a grin, "I'm not the only one bound to the Wheel in this palace." Elayne blinked at her, her tongue stolen by her shock.'
"And the others…" Birgitte murmured, "I've thought on it. Egwene maybe, Nynaeve…al'Thor obviously. We are but corrective measures of the Wheel, Elayne. No, death will never be the end…not unless we are destroyed with balefire or the Wheel is broken."
"I…don't remember…" Elayne shook her head. That couldn't be right. (It just couldn't.)
"Of course you don't," Birgitte said with a small smile, "Maybe you'll get hints of it, no more. I can remember. It was always like that with the bow…as if I'd known it before…" Her voice trailed off, her eyes distant.
"Like the way I picked up weaves," Elayne whispered and Birgitte nodded approvingly. The young queen turned to her, a frown on her face, "Who am I?"
Birgitte just shrugged and left her to her thoughts.
Which, in Elayne's opinion, was mightily annoying. She didn't want to think. She wanted to bury herself in paper, in the work that was needed to keep a kingdom afloat. She didn't want to think about eternity, the thought that the struggle would go on and on and on. Until the Dark One won. She shivered at that thought.
"Come," She said to the Bodyguard, who were watching her curiously. No doubt they wondered what Birgitte and she had said in those whispers…surely Elayne trusted them? The question were in their eyes, a fear that she no longer trusted them.
"Don't worry," She murmured to Caiselle, "I trust you…but there are certain things…" She wondered how to put this diplomatically.
"I am a soldier, your majesty," Caiselle said calmly, "I know full well there are matters I do not understand." She smiled, "And from the words I did hear, I'm pretty sure that conversation would have hurt my brain."
"What did you hear?" Elayne asked worriedly. Birgitte didn't need all of them knowing her identity.
"Just something about 'death is only a time in between'," The woman smiled again, "We don't need to know." The other women nodded agreement and Elayne almost laughed. (And then she remembered men torn apart by the Power, horses neighing, blood, blood everywhere…and the laugh died before it reached her throat.)
They reached her study just as a bright-eyed boy (strange that she thought of him as a boy now-he wasn't that much younger than her) ran up, panting from his flat out sprint. He tried to stop, slid and smacked right into one of the armoured women. Elayne hid a wince. That must of hurt.
"My Queen," He panted once he'd untangled himself from the Guardswoman, "There's eight Aes Sedai here to see you!"
"Did they give you their names?" Elayne asked. Black sisters still roamed free, and taking or killing Elayne would be a great prize for the Shadow.
"One said to say "Remember the trout in the bath'," The boy clearly thought it was some cryptic Aes Sedai statement, but really, it was just a reference to when Elayne and Egwene had put trout in a sister's bath. Nynaeve had called it unimaginitve…
Egwene was here. The thought froze her babbling thoughts. It sent her head into a flurry of emotions that she didn't understand and didn't particularly want to.
"Did she have dark hair and eyes, around my age?" Elayne demanded and her nodded vigiously.
Elayne took a deep breath and sent the boy to make sure Egwene and her companions were comfortable in the throne room.
"Someone important, your majesty?" One of the Guards asked and Elayne nodded.
"The Amyrlin herself."
--
Egwene waited impatiently, seated on a gilded chair, watched by several of the nobles of Elayne's court. Their faces were wary-they all knew of the Black Ajah which made her want to grind her teeth. How could have Elayne let the world know about ti? Didn't she understand the repercussions? But her face remained calm, serene. She was the Amyrlin Seat. She radiated unconcern while red fluttered around her, a crimson reminder of the rivers of blood she had spilt, whether by order or by her own hand. But the Tower was whole. That was what mattered.
But she had come here to spill more blood…She forced herself to take a breath. The Black Ajah, those executions hurt her, far more than any physical wound could. Why had Aes Sedai turned to the Shadow?
But what was the captives's lives matter to the things she had already done? She had almost destroyed the Black Ajah, she had made the Seanchan regret ever coming near the Tower.
The doors flung open and Elayne entered, her eyes meeting Egwene's. And oddly, she felt more alive than she had in so long and a strange roaring soared in her ears. She barely stopped herself from smiling.
Elayne was beautiful.
Their gazes locked for a moment too long but then Egwene tore her eyes away and assumed the necessary decorum required of her. (She was so tired, Light burn her. Was she really only eighteen?)
Everyone stood, including the Aes Sedai. Except Egwene. The courtiers stared at her, their poisonous whispers like hiding vipers circling around her. Burn them for fools.
Elayne curtsied perfectly. Egwene inclined her head slightly.
(Perfect Aes Sedai. Broken human beings. Without their customs, without their authority, where were they?)
"Daughter." The word hovered, hard and cold in the air when she wanted to embrace the other woman, press her lips against that rosebud mouth…
Where, by the Light, had that come from?
"Mother." The courtiers were staring at her in shock but Egwene was too busy doing novice exercises in her head to care a bout them. Light bless the woman who'd discovered them. A rose…a river…Elayne's dress suited her…
Gah.
"I wish to speak with my daughter Elayne alone," She declared to the room. The nobles watched as the Aes Sedai pratically rushed out of the room. Deciding that is fleeing was the wisest action for an Aes Sedai it probably was for them, the courtiers followed.
The Bodyguard didn't move and Egwene allowed her eyes to become dark flames. Cold burning flames, like she had been when she had wielded the fluted wand…so much power, the memory sent goosebumps over her skin along with a sweet longing.
"Did you not hear me?"
"Go," Elayne said softly, her blue eyes determined, "Unless you fear for my life in the presence of one of the most powerful woman in the world?" (They didn't trust her, Egwene saw and she could laugh at that. She had stopped trusting long ago. The rest of the world was learning to be suspicious as well.)
The Bodyguard still didn't move. Burn them, she hadn't seen Elayne in a year and they wanted to be like this.
"Care is a good quality," She said frigidly, "But this is paranoia." One of the Guards stiffened.
"I trust her," Elayne said to them, "Now as your Queen I order you to leave. Else I'll have you flogged for insolence." Stiffly the women withdrew.
"Temper," Egwene smiled. Elayne laughed.
"And you are any better?"
"Point taken." Egwene conceded. She rose from her chair and they hugged tightly. It stirred a strange warmth in her. (And Elayne didn't let go.)
"I've missed you," Elayne whispered into Egwene's dark hair and her heart fluttered.
"And I you."
"Why red?" Elayne asked suddenly, not moving from Egwene's arms.
"Remembrance. So much blood I've spilt Elayne. I dream sometimes. I hear their screams," Her voice was soft, but haunted.
"Why do you do it?" Elayne murmured.
"I do what I must. I do my duty."
"How lonf has it been since you've done what is right rather than what is necessary?"
Egwene found she couldn't answer.